It killed her that there was nothing she could do to make him stay. If Kai wanted to leave, he had could. That didn’t make parting any easier, it just made it worse. The worst thing in the world was happening and she couldn’t do anything about it. Her efforts were in vain and the final rush Malia went through went by almost unnoticed. As did her pleas, apparently. She went through seeming weak and desperate only to be shut down. She was out of options. She was forced to watch him step out, and this time, she was also crying. Even though she was fighting it hard, she couldn’t help it. Tears rushed out but she didn’t bother wiping any of them away with her hand. They would just be replaced again by more.
She didn’t understand it. She tried thinking of something she did to scare him off. He said he was leaving to give her a better life, to not hold her back, but as he walked away she had a had time believing that. Within the few seconds she went from strongly knowing this was his fault to thinking it was hers. She stepped outside of the house, though she didn’t know why she wanted to watch him leave. It would just hurt even more. Maybe she needed confirmation.
Before, she said that if he walked out that door he shouldn’t come back. Now that he was actually doing it, she wasn’t sure that’s what she wanted. She just wanted him to stay. But what could she do? “How could you do this to me?” Malia asked quietly, maybe even rhetorically, since she wasn’t expecting to get an answer.
Malachai had been walking for nearly four hours and the landscape around him had become more earthly as the town of Beacon Hills fell away for side roads surrounded by acres of forest. During his walk, his crying had gradually come to a halt, but it hadn’t left him with the sense of euphoria as he had been hoping for; instead all he was given were stinging eyes and the inability to get his breathing back to normal.
He had originally intended on taking the bus out of town, but he’d missed it by a few minutes and wasn’t willing to wait around for another one knowing that Malia could find him at any moment. He knew himself well enough to know that leaving her a second time wouldn’t be as successful. Therefore, he’d stalked off into a side road that lead away from Beacon Hills and followed it in the hopes it would lead him somewhere less punishing.
Despite not having heard Malia’s question, Kai found that his thoughts were preoccupied with memories of the time that they’d spent together. He’d realized on his walk that, while he’d left so that she could have the life he thought she deserved that there was perhaps another underlying reason that he hadn’t wanted to admit to himself. Somewhere within the few months that they’d spent together, and the constant tormenting and teasing, he had fallen for her; and that was completely terrifying.
Before Malia came into his life, he didn’t know what love was. Between his abusive family and the isolation he’d been forced to endure during his time trapped in the Prison World, he’d never felt compassion, let alone loved. So he didn’t recognize the warm feeling he got in his chest when she returned home from school or the disappointment he’d feel when he couldn’t make her smile, as signs of falling in love with Malia. If anything they made him as uncomfortable or they did confused, but now it was beginning to make sense.
With every step that he took, he was filled with dread so he decided to stop momentarily. He fished around in his pocket for his phone, pulled it out and swiped at the screen, sub-consciously making note of the fact that it was nearly midnight. With a few more swipes, his finger soon hovered over Malia’s cell phone number, ready to call her, if anything just to hear her voice and perhaps admit his feelings for her depending on where the conversation lead. Kai took a few deep breaths and mustered up as much courage as he could before clicked ‘CALL’, leaving his stomach to be promptly filled with butterflies.
Unfortunately as he reached the phone up to his ear, and heard the dull ringing, all his senses were momentarily suspended as he came face to face with the blinding headlights of a truck that soon stuck him and left him bleeding out on the side of the road; his cell phone still ringing.
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