Those who worry suffer twice @magicalcrapulent - Tumblr Blog

what ao3 would look like with ads. no, you do not want this. support ao3 because it’s one of the last few places on the internet that is not tainted by capitalism bullshit. support ao3 because it’s one of the last few places on the internet that is genuinely about the connection between audiences, artists, their works and the love/passion artists have for what they do

pukicho

I love indie games. Thank you for not costing 70 dollars. I love you.

virtualgirladvance

thank you for not being 100GB. i love you

bsharp417

Thank you for having free DLC alongside an already fleshed out story, I love you

sonofshu

Thank you for not forcing me to give you personal information for something I paid for

yayxstitch

normal-horoscopes

I just finished LOTR

Men of Rohan: The glories of war are only a means to an end. All I desire is the saftey of my people and peace for my country.

Eowyn: I want to murder orcs so badly it is making me physically ill.

normal-horoscopes

Eowyn, while holding Faramir’s hand and making eye contact with him: I am in love with a noble, strong, wise, but most of all kind man.

Faramir, nodding: Who wouldnt fall in love with Aragorn.

normal-horoscopes

Also, this isnt like a fun headcannon this is damn near a quotation. Eowyn was literally holding the dudes hands and staring into his eyes professing her love and the dumbass thought she was talking about Aragorn. He responded along the lines of “But Aragorn wont be back from the black gate for like a week, so in the meantime its nice to hang out and just look at how pretty you are”

I know its a meme but they really are the epitome of “Couple that shares one collective brain cell”

normal-horoscopes

Glaladriel: Aragorn why are there orcs in lothlorien who have you brought me this time I swear to god if you keep dragging trouble in- *she turns and sees the four hobbits, dwarf, and baby elf*

Galadriel: Nevermind I love them have some presents.

Galadriel holding Gimli by the armpits: Babie..

normal-horoscopes

Gandalf: *Accidentally knocks over a glass of milk*

Gandalf: …

Gandalf: Somehow I am certain this is Peregrin Took’s fault.

normal-horoscopes

Hobbit Cop: You leave me no choice but to arrest you Samwise “Big Dick” Gamgee: Lol do it then

teaboot

I loved when “Drift Compatible” entered pop lexicon cause we were in DESPERATE need for a way to platonically express “one of us to the other is as a limb to a body; we are a left and right feet of a dancer; we do not need to speak because any one word inspires an exchange of unspoken words that conveys a full conversation in which a mutual conclusion is determined in an instant”. Huge win for the QPRs out here

fleshengine

I also really love that the movie explicitly shows that drift compatibility can be any form of relationship. Two brothers, three brothers, husband and wife, father and son, two friends who have lost everything to the same enemy. It isn’t about the way you connect, it’s about the connection itself. And of course, that connection lets you put boots to asses and kill alien monsters together. Because the power of human connection can change the world or something.

kabsey

I want to write more in 2026. And there’s only one way I can do it—by writing the most self-indulgent garbage you have ever seen.

batmanisagatewaydrug

the thing that I can't stop noticing about commercials for chatgpt and other ai shit is that they can't even seem to come up with creative or interesting shit to do with it. like everything that they show people using it for is stuff that you could already do if you had, like, any friends or the ability to use any search engine

batmanisagatewaydrug

and I do want to be cautious of ableism here because many of the critiques of ai use turn into "uuuuh what kind of braindead moron can't even think of what to make for dinner without help???" when the answer to that is "lots of people, for lots of different reasons, many of which are related to some form of disability." needing help picking out a meal isn't a problem. I'm just flummoxed as to why we're pretending there weren't already tools to do that.

notebooks-and-laptops

They've got so little to advertise with they've started advertising with paranoia. I'm getting tiktok ads for some AI tool and all the ads are like 'before you decide to date someone run their name through our AI', 'i was best friends with this person before I ran their name through this AI tool'. It's like. Seriously? You can only market these things through scaring people???

formaldehydedoesstuff

Gonna make one hundred soups this year. Starting off with kapustnyak, carrot soup, chickpea soup, and parsnip soup.

4% complete.

formaldehydedoesstuff

8% complete baybeee. This may end up being a long post. Hope you like the colour of the soup.

formaldehydedoesstuff

Can't stop won't stop. 15 soups so far.

formaldehydedoesstuff

Slowed down for a minute because vet bills ate up my grocery budget but made it to 20%, baybEEEE.

formaldehydedoesstuff

Whoops I slowed down but BAM, 25%. I'm gonna make a comeback baybeeEEEE.

formaldehydedoesstuff

I AM BECOMING SO POWERFUL

formaldehydedoesstuff

Four new BEAN BASED SOUPS, the first one trailblazing because it was a taco soup recipe courtesy of @alex-of-1000-dumbasseries. 61 IN THE BAG, 39 TO GO.

I am also linking my soup planning doc because I can, and it's easier than tagging all of them individually.

formaldehydedoesstuff

Have I lost all my followers yet? NOT YET. Time for more soups. I'm up to 70 now.

themythicalcodfish

OP this is a gorgeous post and I’m so proud of you

formaldehydedoesstuff

Thank you, I will take these codfish words to my grave. Also, I have achieved 8 more, putting me at 77 soups. How is 70 plus 9 photos 77? I'm glad you asked.

Earlier, I forgot to include a photo of my cock-a-leekie-soup (#57) - pictured above as the first one of this set - and also I MADE TARATOR TWICE by accident so I've struck one from the record since I'm trying to make 100 soups here, not 99 and one twice.

formaldehydedoesstuff

A new bowl approaches. Bought myself some soup bowls from the 70s with goofy little geese on them for my own birthday (though I did not get them in time for my miyeok-guk), because what else is free will for. This puts me at 86. I JUST MIGHT MAKE IT? SOMEHOW?

formaldehydedoesstuff

A COLOURFUL BATCH featuring another Certified Tumblr Soup because people kept recommending Yeto's Soup, and they were right.

How am I at 92? ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN A QUITTER.

formaldehydedoesstuff

100/100!

unconventiononthelawofthesea

coworker today was talking about how she tries to drive less to reduce her carbon footprint, so instead of ordering takeout she orders delivery. when I pointed out that this actually results in the exact same amount of emissions because the same amount of driving happens she said "yeah but it's not me driving." and I feel like any critique of progressive individualism I could make based on this would fall flat because like. what else is there to say? she summed up the flaws of individualist environmentalism better than most critics could, without intending to.

chocolatecakecas

damn we got 2024 tomorrow

chocolatecakecas

damn we got 2025 tomorrow

chocolatecakecas

damn we got 2026 tomorrow

quantumshade

i know we all love that post about “world famous detective” not being a real type of celebrity but lets be real if benoit blanc was real and sluttily fagging it up everywhere constantly in the news n making fools out of the cops n shit we’d all eat that up crazy style. it’d be like the chocolate guy but for exposing rich people for being assholes

demonprincex

statements like "It's wrong to masturbate about a person without their consent" and "It's wrong to do something that quietly arouses you while you are in public even if no one can see it" show that a person's understanding of morality basically involves magical thinking. like I wrote this post on the toilet. That's not the same thing as me literally shitting on you

ineffectualdemon

Playing porn on full volume without headphones on the train: that's like 12 layers of wrong starting with you are playing any video on full volume without headphones on the train the fact thats it's porn just adds to the rudeness

Reading a pornographic story on your phone quietly and feeling vaguely aroused: idgaf

Thinking about stuff that makes you feel aroused: how tf would I know unless you tell me? I don't care but I don't want to hear about it

Seeing your fetish in the wild and getting a bit squirmy and turned on: again I'm not going to know unless you tell me. I don't care! Just text your friend about it like the rest of us

As long as you aren't irritating me I don't give a shit what you're doing or thinking about or how aroused you are

Just don't like, masturbate or watch porn videos on the bus where people can see and hear it. And my objection to that is not that it's horny it's that it's objectively rude

I would also get annoyed at someone picking their nose and flicking the boogies about or playing non porn videos loudly on the bus

Respect shared spaces but the inside of your head is not a shared space

a-name-if-you-please

the inside of your head is not a shared space

roguemonsterfucker

Why does instagram want me to buy the Grinch’s balls?

grinchler-vore-fanfic

How much?

HOW MUCH????

$3.86 apparently.

target audience

Oh no.

So, if this post does get to 10k, I'll make my own version of this. I will create the Grinch's balls for tumblr's enjoyment.

roguemonsterfucker

I'm excited to see if tumblr wants to torture me by making me create the Grinch's green hairy balls with my own two hands.

bittersweetblasphemy

roguemonsterfucker

It’s not too late. I still could make the Grinch’s wrinkly and hairy balls.

yorgen-sh

asteroidtroglodyte

This is poetry. This is storytelling. You can leave the sound off if you want but. Stop. Watch. You surely will not regret doing so.

softstraydog

not buying the product isn't enough I need the company to know their advertising made me want to kill them with a golf club.

lemonsbot

Several years ago I briefly worked in the warehouse of a nondescript extremely large e-commerce company. I had no other options for employment but desperately needed money. Turnover was like 150%. I worked from something like 7pm to 5am, my commute was 50 minutes each way and before I got paid I didn’t even have the cash for enough gas to get home one night and had to bum $10 off of my kid sibling (this is all to give you an idea of my abysmal mental state while employed here.) You’re not allowed to do anything besides your job, no music or anything and they track your movement on cameras so you can’t even take a breather. The job is real monotonous, you get sent boxes of items of random sizes and you have to put the items into shelves of varying sizes and the shelves come to you, you don’t walk to them. Because the company tracks the rate at which you put items on these shelves, many small items are desirable because you can put a lot of them in quickly. Everything about the place seems almost designed intentionally to break you mentally and turn you into a robot. So I’m about 6 or 7 hours into my shift, feeling on the verge of a mental collapse, and up comes a container with a bunch of small white boxes, bout half the size of a deck of cards. No labels. Great, I’m already happy about whatever these things are. So I go to scan them in, and it gives you the name of the item and a little picture. Sasuke Penis Costume. What? Sasuke Penis Costume. A picture of that red cloud robe from Naruto and one of the headbands with the metal plate on it. I’m thinking, there’s no way. What is a penis costume? Am I hallucinating this? And there’s so many of them, literally about a hundred, and I know I’m going to be spending at least an hour with Sasuke Penis Costume, there’s so many and they’re so small, I’m already excited about the potential efficiency of these, and then I see it’s Sasuke Penis Costume? So the entire shift I’m like, trying to not put these things away too quick, because honestly I’m starting to build a kind of kinship with them. This is quite literally the most exciting thing to happen to me during my whole 2 week employment at the warehouse. I started to see Sasuke Penis Costume as a friend, some reminder of the outside world, a reminder of the humanity I was becoming so unfamiliar with, a reminder the world contained comedy, art, anime, and penis. I really couldn’t tell you if I ended up putting all of them away, the last thing I remember is my desperate need to look these items up when I got home. I needed a link to send to my friends for when I told them this riveting story. I learned that the costume is called the Akatsuki cloak in my fervent search for the item, and wouldn’t you know it, absolutely zero trace of these things exists online. Not on the e-commerce website, not on any specialized penis-costume websites (whose existence I was not privvy to prior to this incident) and no third-party retailer has these. Not even Google images will show me the hypothetical existence of Sasuke Penis Costume. Every few months I look it up, trying to find evidence that it can be bought, that any of this was ever real. My bond, my friendship, and dare I say even love for Sasuke Penis Costume feels as tangible as the boxes they came in, and yet the universe will give me no closure of their fate. Less and less frequently I search for them, each time becoming more and more discouraged that I will ever find them, but unlike their substance on this earth, one thing is inarguably certain. Sasuke Penis Costume exists to me, and it will live on firmly and resolutely within my memory and within my heart.