nerf herder

now @piscesbastard

[bi-trans-alliance]

Happy Holigays!

(Design by cfpepperz11 on Redbubble)

[dutchster]

if dinosaurs are dead then explain how they cast the dinosaurs for jurassic park

[stream]

[black-nata]

audiences, stupid: omg that poor lion is going to get ate :((((((((

me, cat lady, smart:  

[inconvenientsarcasm]

I arrive at the park

Dinosaurs: Released

Tits: Out

Life: Finds a way

I am forcibly airlifted from Jurassic Park.

[a-mountain-girl]

@mariesbookblog

[hitmewithcute]

Let him wander around the house. Thought I lost him but he was next to the potatoes

[i-write-sins-not-poems]

Mum:hey -

Me, returning from a walk in the woods after still being unsuccesfull in getting abducted by the fair folk: I don’t wanna talk right now

[probably-a-velociraptor]

Ye olden days: “ we must never go in there, the fair folk may take us away from this world”

Millennials: *banging pots and pans together in the middle of a mushroom circle during a full moon on an equinox * “IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMETHING ABUCTED ME RIGHT ABOUT NOW!”

[mynamesrodandilike2party]

THE STRAIGHTS ARE AT IT AGAIN

[bardstardish]

putting the s at the front of lgbtq is by far the straightest straight person thing ive ever seen

[valtsv]

being scared of the dark as a child meant that your entire house became the setting of a real-life horror video game as soon as your parents called for lights out

[valtsv]

me sitting in the bathroom psyching myself up to turn off the light and run back to the safety of my bedroom after going to use the loo before bed:

[valtsv]

when the house suddenly started creaking and groaning for no reason in the middle of the night:

[valtsv]

[valtsv]

when the wardrobe door or vaguely human-shaped pile of clothes in the corner of your room seemed to move and you wanted to turn on the light but that involved reaching for the lamp and indicating to the monster that you were awake and therefore fair game:

[valtsv]

@ y'all saying you’re still afraid of the dark i’m making this post from my bed where i’m dying slowly of flu and should be trying to sleep but i can’t bear the thought of turning off my only beacon of light against the many fictional but no less frightening for it inhabitants of this pitch-black ocean of terrors so like, tl;dr bitch me too the fuck

[bummass]

When you grow up and tell yourself youre too old for all that so you gotta pretend youre not scared and walk normally from the kitchen in the dark otherwise the monsters will know you think theyre real and therefore become real:

[thepassioncrisis]

Everyone warns you about red flags in a relationship but I want to hear about green flags

So here’s some. Add your own if you’d like!

* listens to you talk when you have issues and supports you through them

* stops doing things you tell them make you uncomfortable

* compromises when necessary

* never puts you down deliberately, especially not publically

* supports your ambitions

* uses a calm rational tone during arguments

* is able to apologise when they’re in the wrong

* aids your growth process

[beansprouts]

* provides you with time and support as you need it but still prioritizes themselves first

* wants to get to know your friends

* has their own friends too

* respects your financial situation & considers it when making plans

* thanks you for speaking your mind

* acknowledges & plans for potential negative outcomes

* treats you like a friend, in addition to a romantic partner

[softbeefyleaf-deactivated202107]

* remembers your little quirks and encourages them

[end0skeletal]

Osprey by Wilson chen

[sobeitjay2]

There was never a time in my life where i wasnt having a midlife crisis

[elionking-deactivated20191020]

Me in 6th grade:

[shisasan]

July 1, 1914, The Diaries Of Franz Kafka, 1914-1923

[argumate]

but soft, what brick through yonder window breaks

[gemmythedestroyer-deactivated20]

It is the East, and Juliet’s got a gun.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[aboonoor]

[tworocks]

no one is allowed to not see this

[srbrienne]

both bastille and hozier have really nailed the “the world is ending let’s jam” vibe huh

[jules-hoard-of-stuff-deactivate]

Because the world IS ending, if we don’t jam then what is there left but crying to do?

[kingkilling-and-stormlight]

We’ve reached the “band playing on the titanic” stage of nihilism now