prohibition in curls @magicalrobowitch - Tumblr Blog

yeah our country is actually like 50 different countries in a trenchcoat <-(usamerican who has no idea how many languages they speak in china, let alone how many ethnic groups there are)

pocket-deer-belly

yeah there's actually so many cultural differences between applachia and the west coast <-(it's like the same culture, actually. you even speak the same language)

magicalrobowitch

闭嘴白左。这个美国女孩知道了中国有五十六个官方承认的族民。欧洲就是亚洲毫无价值的的半岛。谁想听这个笨蛋欧洲人毫无意义的话？

Think I might be a lesbian

tymorrowland

when your friend is in january 1st and you’re in december 31st

thetowersystem

most straight actors: my character transcends sexuality, I’ve never considered their sexuality until this moment because i consider straight the default yes call me a gay icon

mark hamill and oscar isaac: my character could’ve had a boyfriend if the execs hadn’t been little BITCHES about it

symbieote

China Loves Venom.

I don’t just mean that it’s chinese box office figures are great. They are, but the audience is also emotionally thirsty for venom. He’s the new number one dream boyfriend. All the chinese articles I’ve read keep talking about his 男友力, his boyfriend power level(ie how good a SO is) and how its off the charts. How even people who aren’t into superheroes and are just along for the ride will be charmed at this romantic dreamboat. How adorable and lovable and cute and charming he is. How he’s become a 国民男友, a National Boyfriend, ie, someone the whole country wants to date because they’re such a Ideal BF. That Women Love Venom is accepted fact. The top three things articles in Chinese keep mentioning about the film are a)the box office success, b)how popular venom is With The Ladies in the audience and how he’s an Ideal Boyfriend, and how Venom and Eddie have Incredible Chemistry and c)blah blah cast plot trailer reactions blah. I’m so proud of the goo, y’all, he’s such a good boyfriend to Eddie that he’s made himself a Publically Recognised Dreamboat.

And this reaction wasn’t exactly unanticipated. Official promo images included art of Venom being a great BF in this vein:

Yes. That’s been on the official Weibo (chinese Twitter) account.

The little stamp says Venom: Caring Protector (the film is released in China as Venom: lethal protector so its a play on that). The term 暖男 is a particular archetype of caring and emotionally available man. A sweet softboy, if you will.

Highlights from articles include:

V keeps being called a 忠犬, a “loyal dog” love interest archetype who is loyal and self sacrificing and values his SO above all else. Kind of like the Service in Service Top.

he gets called 蠢萌 and 贱萌, which respectivekey are cute because he’s a dumbass and cute because he’s a dick

One article talks about how you expect a monster but you get a beautiful creature with beautiful perfect teeth. Ok???? Horny much????

Insisting he’s lovable because he’s Sensitive and Emotionally Intelligent, and know What Women Want, as shown by the scene where he coaches Eddie through his convo with Anne in the car

These aren’t from fanblogs by they way they’re from movie and entertainment sites and are Articles.

there’s this one user’s review on the biggest chinese movie review site that talks about how Venom is so sexy it makes them tremble. I’ve seen it quoted like four times.

Admittedly I’m biased but I just finished reading a Chinese think piece on Why Venom Is The Sexiest Villain so excuse me if I’m too enthusiastic. FYI reasons include:

he’s played by Tom hardy who is Sexy. (Hardy’s Chinese fan nickname is 汤老湿, which sounds like tom+sensei, but written as Tom+always wet…Chinese people are horny for Tom hardy.)

Because he’s got that contrast of sharp and lethal on the outside and soft and tender on the inside

And my favourite: because he is Socially Responsible and Does The Right Thing and is a Good Boy for Saving The Earth And Mrs Chen The Shopkeeper. This writer is so horny for V???? I’m screaming.

Chinese Venomfuckers I’m so proud of you all.

randomingoftherandomness

Reblogging this again because yes.

the-gayest-dovah

Sometimes I see a girl’s shoulders/collarbone area and I’m suddenly possessed by the spirit of a 19th century lesbian first seeing another girl removing her dress to reveal pantaloons and corset in the dorms at the all-girls boarding school her parents sent her to so she may be trained in proper etiquette

bumblebeebats

Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad

But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny

stuffandylikesyeah

wherethefuckdidthisshitcomefrom

@magicalrobowitch

@plummetingstarlight

@johnisverysalty

adorable

late night cashiers at 24-hour convenience stores are the holders of our greatest secrets and most intimate selves

insomniac-arrest

not my mom, not my partner, not God himself has seen me no-make up in line to buy a choco-pop and panty liners while on the brink of a heart felt meltdown

no one has given me the empty stare of complete indifference that fills my anxious nerves with relief

there is nothing like the sweet freedom of complete nihilism experienced at a 7/11 at 2am, God lives in church, the randomness of the unfeeling universe lives at aisle 9 of CVS

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

what a fabulous and also philosophically horrifying tumblr post, thank you so much

probablybadrpgideas

Feed a person vampire blood, you get a ghoul. Feed an animal vampire blood, you get a hellhound. Water a plant in vampire blood, you get a mandrake. Fill up your car with vampire blood? Probably good things, let’s try it.