i bear 🐻 my soul to everybody.
i move like a one man band.

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@magnanimousmichael
i bear 🐻 my soul to everybody.
i move like a one man band.
i am addicted to weed and ritalin.
still.
it’s been, 5? years? 2022? yeah i think that’s when this started. first weed in 2020 or something then ritalin/amphetamines in general.
what has it done but organized my things and increased my blood pressure. i fight with my boyfriend, i get socially anxious, again, a voice in my head gets very fantastical and very loud, i cry suddenly and at barely anything.
has made me skinty fia but thats secondary to all and shouldn’t be idealized anyway.
it’s endangering my job and sort of my health and most defs my emotional stability.
amphetamines dissolve the barrier of exhaustion that stop me cleaning the house after work. but there’s more to being 23 than cleaning the house after work. watching sex and the city (jk no hate that’s awesome).
what else do i be doing i don’t even know.
and weed ugh.
ugh.
money sink
energy sink
general life blood vampiress
you can’t give up boredom.
you need boredom to find something more interesting
whatever im done rn
i need to get a handle on this
i covet picture taking ability
so…
jeffery epstein is alive
slavery is alive en masse,
the climate is in ultra mega peril,
mass killing of people and culture and tradition for more money to largely hoard?
it’s all for capitalism?
it’s all for a system?
it can take so much awareness and effort and time to change your habits,
your routine behaviors have kept you alive for so long, even if they were actively endangering or harming or killing you, your brain only knows what it has experienced already,
e.g. conflict resolution, inner monologue voice, negative assumptions
to change the system we operate under, the thing enslaving children and destroying all of the planets gifts and cementing our, and Many other species’ demises,
would take…. god.
what would it take
capitalism is failing.
also i’m so mad everyone’s building bunkers ugh.
we need to do more! steal more! poke them with pins! until they can’t rollout their terrible schemes! they’ll be bandaging their puncture wounds.
i feel sick
ill.i.am
i saw mitski last night and cried minute 1. then thee entire time
i feel like.
i have to lay my life down.
if they go about putting ai data centers in and around this incredible country.
how could they.
how fucking dare they.
when is it fucking enough what do we need it all for we barely even know what it is!
i’m scared to find out more because that was the most distressing sentence i’ve ever heard.
i will have to find out if it gets put through so i might as well learn now.
i know in my heart i have a lot of growing to do as a feminist. as an everythingist.
it’s not just not knowing and learning all the time (that’s good) but it’s jealousy of other women’s ability to be attractive, feminine in a seemingly natural way, and the separation i kind of feel from women my age especially.
my favorite artists give slight femcel notes in their work i think That’s not great, i’m trying to listen to less melancholia as of this week
i need to be bonding with my peers!
i need to bond!!
it’s not going to work always but it’s going to work a lot more if you try!
#not too nite
i love glorilla i feel so included when she says she’s turnt up with her bitches but she would be so unimpressed with me irl
seriously when i’m 29 and have no photos of me outside to look back on i’ll eat everyone responsible
My roomba ate my feather
cats…
she cares so dang much
T,:
my life has gotten so much better in the last year, materially, mentally, and other areas to be sure.
gratitude is so important for your happiness
i think my values need to be restructured, i need to lock in on my priorities. i’ve never thought about it hard but for serious, i feel a happy stability, marred with only mild discontent! occasionally! and it can often be chalked up to drugs or sleep or what have u.
so now i can say, okay, what are we doing exactly.
i’m thinking… i gots to get off the phone
and maybe….
the youtube toutube..
because ytttb is becoming phone i.e shorts are delicious they are so mmmmm. and reels well, duh. r awesome.
but i spend not enough time outside of work enriching my life* and the more i do that the more i will do that and so on and so forth.
so. how?
idk man
i d k
how to psychically demonstrate your love for your mother (for cowards)