Viviane @vibois - Tumblr Blog

always some new bullshit in the ocean

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.

ammnontet

the killer

orcboxer

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

vibois

apparently there's an angel who's gonna be employe of the month... if not in heaven, in hell

hellenhighwater

Oh noooooo due to my late night corn escapades Mayhem went to bed without me and I had to wake her up to take her foot brace off! I'm sorry, Maybe!!! You can go back to sleep!

hellenhighwater

Good morning, Maybe Baby!

blasesaint

hellenhighwater

Eleanor update! She can see you through the Internet!

leafstem

*while sewing*: you are a fabric. you can stay a fabric. you do not yearn to return to being string.

batbetbitbotbut

*while spinning*: you are a thread. you can stay a thread. you do not yarn to return to being fluff.

strikeslip

*while embroidering*: you are a thread on a needle. you can just exist as thread on a needle. you do knot yearn to become a tangle.

mawofthemagnetar

*while turning wood* you are timber on a lathe. You can stay as timber on a lathe. You do not yearn to become a live hand grenade.

bugbbear

*while adding chemicals to a reaction* you are a stable substance. you are neither too hot nor too agitated. you do not yearn to explode violently and poison everyone in the building.

cyclicalaberration

*Whilst throwing pottery* You are a wonderful mug. You can stay as a wonderful mug with walls. You do not yearn to return to a horrible lump of dirt.

desertherm1t

*while doing digital art* you are a paint bucket tool. you will fill only inside these lines. you do not yearn to turn the entire canvas into your color

the-shade-system

@stars-says-fuck

woman-becomer

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

#birthday hat

nudityandnerdery

"[Y]our Harry Potter games are Cybertrucks" is such a good way to put it.

infiniteoreos

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

thundercrackfic

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

toothpaste-footlocker

yet-another-autistic-blog

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

panpteryx

mckitterick

I've always assumed everyone who gives a talk or teaches a class or has a meeting prepares several backup files and pulls up a few dozen browser tabs to be able to respond to every possible contingency

but I'm told that some people only prepare one set of notes or (and this makes me very tense to even consider) just wing it

cyphir-spacerobot

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!