Not a Hero

I am no hero. Merely a man who has seen and done and endured what can never be forgotten. Or forgiven. Magneto RP blog for fightasone

[menndelsohn-deactivated20200531]

Ben Mendelsohn by Sarah Dunn for Empire Magazine

[magnetischmutant-blog]

thesouthernrogue‌:

“Well now. That seems very defeatist.”

"...it does.” He concedes with a sad smirk, considering. “It doesn’t get better... easier, you get stronger. Or one hopes to.”

[magnetischmutant-blog]

“It doesn’t get better and it doesn’t get easier.” 

[rpmememaker]

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[spctlessminds]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[magnetischmutant-blog]

dyamaunt‌:

“God loves all his children, even the mutant ones,” she chuckled darkly. “I simply fear that our brethren see the path to tolerance in total compliance. If the mutants repress themselves, then the humans won’t be so scared. That’s not equality, that’s subjugation.”

Emma couldn’t quite tell what Erik was thinking- and out of respect she didn’t care to pry for her answers. Telepathy couldn’t be the easy way out of every problem, not with influence being just as revealing. “The Inner Circle is about as out of the public eye as you could want it to be, mon frere. No need to make your choice now, but please do consider my offer. I believe we see eye to eye on these matters.”

“...you know I won’t disagree with you on that.”

The world had changed. Things were better, but they were a relative better. Until the recent kidnappings, things seemed to have... well. Mutants repressed themselves, and humans didn’t seem so scared. Subjugation. He can’t help but think of Wanda, how she’s been... was it for him to say she was repressing her abilities? She certainly had seemed worried about losing control, about the public opinion. If it got out that she was not only a mutant, but his daughter... it didn’t matter that she barely knew him, that association...

“I believe we do. I’ll take it under consideration. In my younger days, I let my anger get the better of me. I was... dramatic, to say the least. Direct. That’s something I can no longer afford to be, I’m afraid.”

[magnetischmutant-blog]

notwhateveryonesees‌:

“I would hope so. We’ve….been through a lot together. That one top of the twin thing makes for a pretty strong bond. It’s strange being without him. For so long we were never far from each other.”

"I can imagine, it’s probably... lonely. Like you’re missing a part of yourself.  I’m sorry.” He had seen the news, about the death of her teammate... her friend. He would offer his condolences, but didn’t wish to upset her any more than he already might have. 

[facethepast]

@magnetischmutant

Bucky’s almost finished packing when he hears it– the faint shuffle of a footstep across concrete floor. He turns, his movements purposeful– abrupt, but his eyes catch only the dark, empty hall, no movement except for that of the dust particles floating in the moonlight.

          ( …. )

The silence he’s met with is almost deafening, but Bucky knows what he heard, and he’s in no position to assume it’s nothing.

Quietly, he draws one of the I.C.E.R.s he’d been arming for his and Gamora’s infiltration op, and stands– each move slow, purposeful, his eyes locked on the hallway. Bucky gradually inches up to its edge, adrenaline (fear?) beating against his jugular, and takes a breath, bracing himself–

      –before he rounds the corner, I.C.E.R. aimed at the intruder.

[magnetischmutant-blog]

An Incapacitating Cartridge Emitting Railgun... he nearly fired a railgun at an elderly holocaust survivor. Tsking, Erik keeps his arms at his side.

      “How lucky for me that you have a metal trigger finger. I could force you to lower your weapon, but I suppose it would be a show of good faith to allow you to do so yourself. I have no quarrel with you, Sergeant Barnes. Or is it Captain, now...?”

[ssrgnt-barnes]

Magneto vs The Avengers (feat. Thanos)

Credit to IGTV

[magnetischmutant-blog]

notwhateveryonesees‌: 

“Complicated is one way to put it. I already seem to be a frequent PR nightmare.” There’s bitterness in her tone at those words, yet she still can’t deny that they feel true. “Probably best not to hover too much….but I’d still like to know more, I guess. You don’t have to stay away completely yet…”

“I appreciate that. Anything you wish to know, I’ll try and answer to the best of my ability. Even if it isn’t too flattering. I rarely use it, but I do have a phone... if that’s easier for you, less compromising...” The only person he ever corresponded with really was Rogue, and now... Frost.

[magnetischmutant-blog]

notwhateveryonesees‌:

“If he ever heard someone call him that it might make his ego insufferable, but I suppose he is. I’ve been lucky to have him looking out for me all our lives.”

"I don’t think it’s at all presumptuous to imagine he’d say the very same thing about having you in his life.”

[magnetischmutant-blog]

notwhateveryonesees‌:

Those words bring up a question that has more than once crossed Wanda’s mind in the past: what if someone had found them earlier? What if someone had intervened? If the X-Men or her father or anyone had found her and Pietro when they were younger and their powers first manifested. Taught her control without all the trial and error she had gone through over the years. Without the intervention from Hydra that she was still ashamed of having ever been desperate enough to fall for. How different would her life be? How much better off would they have been?

There were a lot of questions that she could never find any answers to. Yet she sometimes couldn’t stop thinking about them.

“No, not that I can think of.” She admitted, giving a small smile. Admittedly, there never seemed to be too much interaction between the two groups, not that Wanda could understand why. “Maybe I’ll go visit them sometime. I am honestly a bit curious to see more of the place. See how it works and everything.”

The X-Men may be able to do more for her than he could, but as with the case with Lorna... he left her there, and was... in and out, at best... absentee. 

"...All the apologies do nothing to change the past, what’s done. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’ll be there if you want me to be, but I understand that you’ve made due without me thus far... and that your life is complicated enough without me hovering about. You owe me nothing, just know that I wish you nothing but the best... that I do love you. That though I have no right to be, I’m proud of you. The woman you’ve become.”

[magnetischmutant-blog]

notwhateveryonesees‌:

“Pietro? Depends on the day. Stubborn, bossy, overprotective, annoying, a general pain. But also my best friend in the entire world. And he’s somehow still beating out some much less difficult people for that.”

He wants to say that he can think of several people would describe him in the a few of those same terms, but... does he have a right to say that? About a son he didn’t raise, that he never even met? Any similarities are purely incidental...

"He sounds... incredible. I’m glad you’ve had each other.”

[magnetischmutant-blog]

mutantmysticwiccan‌:

“I’m lucky enough to have supportive people in my life.”  Even if he hadn’t exactly explained everything quite yet.  They still did their best.   Plus his teachers at the school.   “I’m more in awe of people that have always had to struggle for that.”

Damn. The young man was quite impressive, wasn’t he? Humble. Appreciative. Respectful of those who came before, of their struggles and their hardships. “...even still, you’re still young, figuring out who you are. The fact that you’re secure in this aspect, unafraid to be open and proud...  good for you, boy.”

[menndelsohn-deactivated20200531]

The people that impress me are Bob Dylan. The ones who keep working, year in and year out, and keep coming up with stuff.

[magnetischmutant-blog]

dyamaunt‌:

“Oh, you think so little of me, Erik,” Emma crooned, twisting her lips into a smirk. “I have more than a plan, I have the means to execute it.”

She was surprised to know that he would be so willing to bow his head and play nice with the general populace for the sake of his children. Emma was grateful to be unencumbered by such loathsome things as familial ties and petty nostalgia. After such extended times in her diamond form, she found her heart itself hardening to such emotional weaknesses.

“Such a shame for Magneto to keep his head down- it makes it awfully difficult to hold a crown up there. The Hellfire Club could use a new White King, you know.”

“Quite the contrary. I believe you to be among competent than our... I hesitate to call them peers, and you’re more willing to do what it takes to protect mutant kind. Perhaps I should have said God have mercy on us.”

As for her remark about the diffculties of one holding a crown when their head was bowed? Clearly she had never worn a kippah. Erik was confident he could manage, if she was offering the position. “I wish to refrain from making spectacles, to keep myself out of the public eye Working from within the Inner Circle, however... Fais ce que tu voudras.”

[moonbittern]