Tiptoe Through the Tulips with Me

28- I like animals, shitposting, and I complain a lot -Queer as shit -she/her- sometimes nsfw so 18+ only

[ashes2caches]

puppy, stop it. you can’t give mommy road head right now. there’s fucking black ice.

[greenezandham]

I haven’t posted in a while again bc I always forget I exist. Anyways, I’m moving and if anyone wants to send some monetary assistance I’ll gladly treat ya :3 dm me for info 💕💕💕

[greenezandham]

I haven’t posted in a while again bc I always forget I exist. Anyways, I’m moving and if anyone wants to send some monetary assistance I’ll gladly treat ya :3 dm me for info 💕💕💕

[greenezandham]

Hi, I know I’ve been pretty quiet for a while but I do still exist.

I’ve had a lot going on for a while, and got really sick with Covid a couple weeks ago which led me to missing a bit of work, so now I don’t have money for rent, food, or meds.

I don’t like asking for help or pity, but if anyone is able to help at all, I would greatly appreciate it, and will return the favor with content or whatever else I can do within reason 💕

[greenezandham]

Oops forgot about tumblr lol. Here’s a couple pics from recently :3

[ineedacknowledgment]

Honestly … Truly

[greenezandham]

Butt update :3

[the-foley-knoll-horror]

Imagine coming out as trans and your boss gives you a pay cut because you're a girl now

[sacred-portal]

[gaypriori]

[woost46]

I love with some onion articles, you can tell exactly what prompted the writer to make them

[sonlosgatosespaciales]

[circumgutter]

[ohpretty]

nsft would you rather 🌼

be over-stimulated or edged?

be a voyeur or have semi-public sex?

finger yourself or follow guided masturbation?

watch yourself in a mirror or listen to a recording of yourself?

honey or ice?

sleep in lingerie or nude

receive a voice memo or nude from a mutual?

shaved or bushy?

grope yourself or be groped?

cuddle under a blanket or sleep nude together?

airplane sex or elevator sex?

kitchen sex or shower sex?

pool sex or workplace sex?

watch porn or read erotica?

receive or send a dirty message while at work?

have your dirty thoughts shared with those around you or know the dirty thoughts of those around you?

watch wlw or mlm porn?

hump a pillow or use a vibrator?

boobs or butt?

lose your virginity together or lose to someone well-seasoned

get fingered in the library or at a nightclub?

give or perform oral?

have “ok” sex daily or amazing sex once a week?

doggy or missionary?

physical touch or quality time?

moan or scream?

lace or latex?

white or black lingerie?

have someone remote control your vibrator or control it for someone else?

[brilliantlyhorrid]

I’m not about to kinkshame a whole aquarium but

[wizzard890]

carry me into the sunset, my cephalopod prince

[laughingpinecone]

Fwiw I did silently kinkshame the whole aquarium (silently because it was six in the morning and I’d just landed and I had no words and THAT is how you greet newcomers, Boston?). That’s not even the worst one:

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[grungixfungix]

Devastated that rbs were turned off. I need this on my blog.

[the-haiku-bot]

Devastated that

rbs were turned off. I

need this on my blog.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[grungixfungix]

Omg haiku bot?!?!?! 🙀😻

[amygdalae]

Me: damn this situation I'm in sure isn't ideal, what am I gonna do about this

Suicidal Ideation Man who lives in my brain: perhaps I have a suggestion ☝️🤓

[amygdalae]

[victorlincolnpine]

[princesszeldazbyebye-deactivate]

this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in any review ever

[princesszeldazbyebye-deactivate]

[pidgefudge]