"Shitpost begins..."

A low quality fan blog for The Magnus Archives

[confused-alot]

YOU WOULDNT DOWNLOAD AN ARCHIVIST

[mothmansboywife]

[murderandcoffee]

tma muppet movie au where muppet elias beats human actor jurgen leitner to death with a metal pipe. idk what else to put here that's all I came up with

[magnus-shitposts]

Featuring

Bert as the Archivist

Ernie as Martin Blackwood

Fozzy Bear as Tim Stoker

As Sasha, a muppet modeled to look like the human actress that they cast to play as NotSasha

Kermit the Frog as Elias Bouchard

Miss Piggy as Alice "Daisy" Tonner

Gonzo as Peter Lukas

Statler and Waldorf as Breekon and Hope

Elmo as Michael, the Distortion

Count von Count as Trevor Herbert

Oscar the Grouch as John Amherst

Jason Statham wearing a coat made of different muppets as Jared Hopworth

Jim Henson impersonator as Neil Lagorio

[magnus-shitposts]

Martin Blackwood was prepared to date an ace because his dick was too big for sex with any previous partner.

[valtsv]

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES... 2!

[magnus-shitposts]

Didn't think I'd be back any time soon. Good thing I won't have to change my URL.

[solely-ashes]

ALEX: There's a version where Martin just goes in the tunnel, solves everything and leaves.

Honestly when I heard that line this is the first thing that popped into my head:

The original:

[this-book-is-a-leitner]

Slaughter Leitners in both forms

[riverbear13]

Alex: fuck the corruption I would just kick it

Jonny: you can't kill a mushroom in any way that matters

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

Jonny and Alex: What if we create a character and slowly have him go through a corruption arc over five seasons which will inevitably lead him to be an unsympathetic person capable of choosing to destroy the world.

Martin: You can't do that.

Jonny and Alex: Why not?

Martin: I love him.

Jonny and Alex now writing the series with Jonmartin as the emotional core of it all where Jon ends up being sympathetic and lovable until the very end: Understandable have a nice day.

[selkiewizard]

You kick the corruption? You kick the corruption like a football? You are a cruel and unjust director and CEO of rusty quill and I am going to cry

[tmascaringmysleepaway]

basira: um. you’ve got something on your back

daisy: *looks back at jon clinging to her like a koala*

daisy: don’t mind him, he’s yearning

jon, sobbing: i miss martin so much

[mobydyke]

Melanie in 194: maybe if u can't use ur creepy powers u could just use ur goddamn brain?

jon:

[liumilai]

oh my god jonny saw all our 'heres how agnes montague can still win' posts

[thereisacentipedeinmystudy]

Just realized that (as far as I can remember) Jon has been exclusively stabbed by people with names starting with M

Michael Melanie Martin

[welcometogrouchland]

Squad goals

[image ID: a digital drawing of Martin, Michael and Melanie from the magnus archives. From right to left the drawing features Martin, a fat latino man with light brown skin, and dark curly hair streaked with white. He is holding his hands up to his face as though upset. Next to him is Micheal, a tall thin white man with long blonde hair, and chromatic aberration filter over his lines. Next to Micheal is Melanie, a short chinese woman with long dark hair died blonde at the ends. Her eyes are enucleated and she's smirking with a hand on her hips. All three are wearing matching shirts that say "I stabbed Jonathan Sims". End image ID]

[magnusarchivememes]

[disasterzoo-inactive]

surprised i haven’t seen one for tma yet. fine i’ll do it myself

[disasterzoo-inactive]

[quantum-nebula-deactivated20210]

Get yourself a partner that talks about you the way Jonny talks about monster pig

[sonickitty]

I love all the MAG 154 takes with the addition of “let’s gouge out our eyes and make out,” but I think we’re really missing an opportunity to have Martin respond with “no one wants an office romance.”