chronicled with no context

listening to the magnus archives w no previous knowledge & no clue what i’m doing

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

okay okay here’s at least one at the asscrack of dawn. i can already say i do NOT like the title, “squirm” sounds like it’ll be icky, and that in connection w “sexual encounter” does not bode well

“i’m sure she’s dead” ah yes good start

lmfao “i wanted to get a bit wrecked” on a thursday in november, that’s a mood

red hair, torn tights, too much eyeliner. hell i’ve been there mate.

mmmm WRITHE

a smile of relief oh lord she 109% has a horrible secret wtf... and she acts hunted

NONONONON WHY SCRATCHING NOOOOPE. WHAT’S INSIDE HER WHAT’S GOING ON????

oh god everything itches already :/

awww he’s a pretty sweet guy, he’s trying to help. shame about whatever’s going to happen soon.

she felt something stab her but couldn’t find anything??? NAAAAH. something is in her something is up and that woman is just waiting for it

you know kudos to this guy for making sure there’s consent more than once in the situation

NO NO NO NO SQUIRMING UNDER HER SKIN NAH NOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT

oh god it’s coming out innit

no

nope

noooooooooo

oh my god just run dude

JUST GO

dude setting it on fire was 100% reasonable oh my god

she

she exploded into worms ewwwww i hate this so much FUCK THIS

okay this is another that jonathan seems inclined to believe. i do not like what i already know of this jane prentiss or the idea that whatever horror she infests you with is catching. also i’m STILL ITCHING so thanks :c

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

okay last one before i have to listen to smth else before i sleep bc i don’t want nightmares. time to get into “thrown away”, no idea where this one might go.

hey he’s selling working as a garbage collector rather well, tbh.

a+ people psychology. ppl really do throw away the weirdest shit & never think about it.

(brief pause bc cat is being cute & i need photographic evidence OKAY BACK TO IT)

yikes no one likes doll heads. or dolls in horror stories in general. what the fuck. also the fact they’re from different dolls does make it worse.

“drives... drove the truck” mmmm don’t like that

safety at work is important!

alan this will not end well for you

okay burned pater noster is ominous but not TOO creepy

ah yes, third time’s the charm

hmm ritual huh

OH NOOOOOOO NOT TEETH oh that is way more horrifying than dolls & prayers??? same david i would toss my cookies too.

those poor ppl living there, woken up a the asscrack of dawn by the police like “excuse us, sir, ma’am, ARE THESE YOUR THOUSANDS OF TEETH?! NO? ARE YOU SURE?”

okay so getting obsessed with these things is gonna be a theme in these stories i can tell. that is kind of human nature. either we’re repelled by horror or we’re attracted by it. or both.

the music is going bananas. “found him”. oh shit was that even alan or was it whoever he was hunting? aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA

alan is so dead

oh my god there’s a BOW on the bag, that’s a bit cheeky innit?

metal heart with his name on, cool cool, extra normal. BLESS this man for just having the heart destroyed & not looking into it further, excellent survival skills.

yeah yeah you’re a snarky skeptic johnathan, and apparently you gotta be a dick abt martin. WHAT IS HIS CRIME? i bet he’s super nice & jonathan is just kind of a bitch.

.............all the same tooth. noooooooOOOPE. goodnight. imma listen to PJO now so i don’t get nightmares.

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

“page turner” ok spooky books is my JAM i’m excited

awww struggling theatre people <3

oh hell yeah there’s the book, i love this already

also don’t think i haven’t noticed the white noise on the tapes whenever Important Things are mentioned

ooooh it’s a vertigo book? it’s got smth to do with vertigo, that’s cool. also it made him lose time, didn’t it?

...yeah the ozone is from the book, you’re smelling THE SKY

godddd i LOVE this mood. like heights / vastness / empty space is really exciting to me rather than frightening, so i’m vibing.

the user name was “gr_bookworm” or smth? gr? like GERTRUDE ROBINSON? i mean ok it could be someone else, but come on, it seems a bit too much of a coincidence.

oh hey a scandinavian recluse, can i join his club?? his creepy book club?

he just HAPPENS to find that book store? that’s not suspicious at all. at 2am especially.

this old woman i do not trust. she clearly knows too much & is a bit too jazzed about creepy magic books.

“fishing wire and a safety razor” somehow i do not like this. and neither do i like the eye picture. this place is obviously suspicious.

oh BONE BOOK. that’s cool. that’s normal. wtf mary, that’s not actually a cool trick. this poor boy.

OH lightning fractal scars!! that’s... unfortunate

yeah no clever boy, always get payment for suspicious magical items, that’s important

...ahahaha mary is supposed to be dead. yikes. and obviously her skin was written on and stitched back. is that why she’s alive? and is the text on her sansscrit, i’d that why she laughed?

you know obviously gerard is suspicious, but at least he’s a mensch for setting the book on fire, as much as i liked it.

okay, so jonathan BELIEVES this, does he? like this jurgen leitner obviously has already been A Problem. interesting to find him actually seeming to accept a story, even if he still tries to verify it.

SANSCRIT. i knew it. but yeah, so obviously jonathan has Seen Enough Shit to know supernatural things do happen, he’s just a curmudgeon & sceptic. i’m sure that won’t bite him in the ass later c:

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

OKAY, so life happened & i had to do life things. but no better time, when life is already p horrifying, to distract myself in my own lil corner of more horror.

okay “across the street” sounds stalkery

“alleged” disappearance already sounds GREAT

taking criminology for kicks, ok

so this dude is scribbling furiously and then denies it ahaha sure probably normal

mmm the night bus experience

“people watching is a guilty pleasure” that does sound like it might be stalkery

annnd he’s being followed by smth, or thinks he is

yeah fair to not want a stranger to know exactly where you live

WAIT WHAT nooooo don’t like invisible grabbers

ah yes go to his flat, great idea. you know him not being straight doesn’t even reassure me, that’s how bad it is.

...phantom window box? OH NO MORE NOTEBOOKS UGH. also yeah don’t like that table :|

“pipes” making noise huh

ah yes obsessively monitoring him in the dark, like a normal person

still don’t like the journal thing, n

ATE THEM? HE ATE THE NOTEBOOK???

and other than that he does nothing. just makes notes, devours notebooks & eats take-out.

...oh i’m not gonna like this

WHAT IS BY THE WINDOW??? see i told you those weren’t pipes and nononono oh noooo i don’t like many-jointed arms. i really don’t like them. ewwwwww this hell-creature is terrible 0/10

the escalating music does not inspire confidence

ohhhh my god does it ret-gone people out of existence????? just takes their place somehow

OH NO IT KNOWS SHE SAW and now it’s watching her

it knows it knows it knows it has his memories and it knows

yeah uh it was hunting him and i’d say she was right in trying to get away. not sure if that would help tho. “keep watching” nah NOPE.

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

“do not open” i am already scared

ah yes mysterious stranger asking for cavour, sounds like A BAD TIME

do not take the money do nOT TAKE THE MONEY DO NOT TAKE THE MONEY

oh you stupid bastard

oh noooo what is this package this is bad

ah a coffin that is chained closed and says “do not open” cool cool not terrifying at all

please just THROW THE KEY AWAY, MELT IT DOWN, put it in a lockbox, do smth to make it it impossible to use

dude i lived in a flat w a bunch of illegal drugs in the freezer once, property of my friend’s absolutely BARMY bf who was in jail... & that is way less nerve wracking than this

it makes sounds???? mmmm no move, leave, burn it all behind you. do not ignore it, JUST GOOOO.

oh it’s TRYING to get you to open it. seriously, do something about that fucking key.

okay freezing it was clever

i understand that whole attitude of just living with the fear tho, loath as i am to admit it. sometimes you don’t know what to do so you just do... nothing. hi anxiety.

oh the bastard is surprised that the poor dude is still alive. what a douche. yeah tell him where he can stick it!!!

ok so “beacon & hope” sounds like smth that is going to occur later, that’s how stories work.

wow so judgemental jonathan. love it.

ahahaha HE WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE BUILDING??? naaaaaaaah. fuck this.

okay so this IS creepy & it’s getting to me, so imma listen to some discworld & go to bed, & get to this tomorrow :/ otherwise i’m guaranteed to have nightmares.

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

man this archivist dude is so salty, love it

ah pissed as a fart in edinburgh, good start

love the sounds but god this is def spooky

man never trust anyone who appears & asks for a cigarette in fiction

mmmmm don’t like thissss

yes YES STAY OUT OF THE CREEPY ALLEY

this is not cool fish facts :///

OH HELL NAW THE MOUT ISN’T MOVING RUNNNNN

dude how is this man alive??? well i’m guessing bc he stayed out of the alley

ahaha of course other students are missing :| AND one of them smoked marlboro reds.

i live for how this man goes from “storytelling voice” to “the saltiest man voice”

...ah yes the classic empty photo THIS IS DEFINITELY A SPOOKY KIND OF PODCAST. ugh “beckoning” i do not like, i will not sleep.

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

gertrude sounds like me as an archivist, regrettably. in uni this was once my only note after a chemical lab experiment: “5 mg NaOH”. as if i was going to understand that later???

also i’m sure there’s no reason whatsoever that you can’t record the audio on your laptop which are not at all bad >_> this IS gonna be creepy, isn’t it?

[magnusarchiveswithoutamap]

okay, so. all i know of this podcast is what i’ve gleaned via osmosis, which is that it seems queer & vaguely magicky / supernatural. this is promising to me, so i thought i would chronicle my headless dive into it for my own amusement.

aight so, gonna start since first episode since trailers will probably spoil something or other. first episode is “angler fish”. i like angler fish, they’re cool.

but also uh the eerie cello & the voice that sounds one hiccup away from a menacing chuckle does not sound like i’m in for cool fish facts somehow. this is a ghost story kind of voice. is this a ghost story kind of podcast? maybe i should not be doing this while me wife is working night OH WELL TOO LATE NOW.

i already do love this man & his bitching about his predecessor tho. a+ no nonsense bastard man, like the cut of that jib. let’s do this.