So for organization purposes here below you can find my writings in the Sons of Anarchy fandom.
! Please be very aware that most of these writings involve the theme of abuse, sexual assault or discussion around suicide. If you might be harmed, triggered, by in any way shape and form upset or offended by these themes, I don't recommend reading them. I write for my own comfort. !
English is not my first language and not even my second.
I usually put songs suggestions before the fics. Please enjoy and stay happy and safe!
❀❀❀
Chibs Telford
❀ ULTRAVIOLENT (reader insert, completed)
summary: A take on a scene from season 6, episode 1.
Y/N is a SAMCRO member and she ratted. Jax might have let it slide, but Chibs won't.
warnings: graphic description of violence
songs: Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey, ecstasy by SUICIDAL-IDOL, Így hagysz el by Byealex ft Hiro (Hungarian song)
part I
💬 0 🔁 9 ❤️ 73 · May B writes · ULTRAVIOLENT || Chibs Telford x Y/N
part I. i'm you jazz singer
summary: a twist from a scene from s6/e
part II
💬 0 🔁 7 ❤️ 65 · ULTRAVIOLENT || Chibs Telford x Y/N
part II. and you'r my cult leader
The next day she woke up with a horrible headache.
part III
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Post by @maibeewrites · 1 image · ULTRAVIOLENT || I love you forever
part III - a very short final snippet ♡
(I recommend
Marcus Alvarez
❀ handle your own when you become a man (female oc, in progress)
summary: Veronica is a lone she wolf in the world of agressive and powerful men. She could always defend herself, always keep a straight face. Most importantly, they somehow always respect her.
Until one day.
When she has to do something that makes even herself question, what was she made for.
warnings: non-con discussion, extreme dubious consent, possible mature scenes
songs: Till it's gone by Yelawolf, what was I made for by Billie Eilish
part I
💬 1 🔁 4 ❤️ 32 · handle your own when you become a man //
a Marcus Alvarez x female!OC fanfiction
summary:
Veronica could always defen
part II
💬 1 🔁 0 ❤️ 2 · handle your own when you become a man // PART 2 · part two - Humiliated
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of rape, dubcon vibes, b
part III
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · handle your own when you become a man // part III · (Marcus Alvarez x femaleOC)
part I:
💬 1 🔁 4 ❤️ 32 · handle your o
Happy Lowman
❀don't fall, just crash around me (reader insert series)
summary: As a woman in a motorcycle club there are some struggles unique to your femininity. However it gets to a point, where its unbearable. The only thing you can do, is lean onto your brothers for support.
warnings: attempted suicide, past rape, possible ptsd, aftermath of abuse
part I:
songs: Tears don't fall by Bullet for my valentine, City Lights by Motionless in White
💬 2 🔁 0 ❤️ 8 · don't fall, just crash around me // happy lowman x reader one-shot
WARNING: attempted suicide, mentions of rape, assault.
part II:
songs: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed, lánc by Dzsúdló, Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
💬 1 🔁 1 ❤️ 8 · don't fall, just crash around me // part II: teller · happy lowman x reader
hi lovelies! so I decided that I turn this i
❀will be gentle (reader insert one-shot)
summary: You decide it's time to get your first tattoo, and who else might do it than Happy?
warnings: implied smut at the end, masochistic kink, slight dom/sub undertones, mentions of past abuse
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 44 · will be gentle · Happy Lowman x Reader one-shot
summary: You decide it's time to get your first tattoo, and who else migh
handle your own when you become a man // part III - raw
(Marcus Alvarez x femaleOC)
part I:
💬 1 🔁 4 ❤️ 32 · handle your own when you become a man //
a Marcus Alvarez x female!OC fanfiction
summary:
Veronica could always defen
part II:
💬 1 🔁 0 ❤️ 2 · handle your own when you become a man // PART 2 · part two - Humiliated
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of rape, dubcon vibes, b
warning: extremely dubious consent, slightly described smut (I have never written smut before so be kind!)
songs: Hands in the sky (Big shot) by Straylight Run, Back to me by Of Mice & Men
❀❀❀
The evening lasted shorter than she expected. Alvarez led her out of the restaurant, his hand on the small of her back, guiding her out, but at the same time leashing Veronica to himself. But even if she could run, she wouldn't. After all she is doing a deed for the club.
The night started to cool down and Veronica could feel her skin hit by the breezy outside air. However the walk was short. Alvarez stopped at the black car she was brought in. He opened the door.
"Get in." He said.
Veronica felt again the jolts of panic trying to flare up in her, but tried to keep her breathing steady.
They need this. The club needs this. I owe them hard money. I am doing this.
She got in the car, her pink dress riding up her pale thighs, but she didn't even bother to arrange is. She looked and felt disheveled.
During the ride she was thinking about all the things Alvarez could do now. He will probably have sex with her, that was basically the whole point of this show. But after all, killing her now just wouldn't make sense. She knew that the Sons would probably retaliate and if the Mexican really wanted to kill her, he would have probably done it by now.
No, he didn't want her dead. He wanted her very much alive.
"You don't even ask me where we going?" He asked her, sitting besides her in the back.
She shook her head and almost politely looked at him.
"It wouldn't make any difference now, would it?"
The man chuckled and shook his head.
"You chica, really think of me some type of way, huh."
Veronica didn't know what to say or think.
She was drunk, tired, and she just wanted to go home really. And to her suprise, the car stopped just besides her home. The driver got out of the car.
She slowly looked at Marcus. She haven't moved yet. This is a trick or a test.
"Well, here we are, you home." He said, gesturing to the house.
She looked at him slightly annoyed.
"What, you wanna test me?"
He raised his brow.
"Test you?"
Veronica didn't move. Then the tension changed. Alvarez, who was fairly calm until then, now seemed pissed.
"Okay. If you really think that I am that kind of man, then be it, girl." He said, and drew out his gun from the pocked of his vest. He pointed the silver end to her stomach.
"No-" She exclaimed, but he grabbed her hair at the back of her head and yanked her head up. She was now thankful for the alcohol in her system.
"You think of me of some kind of lowlife scum. Well bonita, you precious white boys are just the same. Threw you to me like some kind of croweater whore."
He snarled at her and she tried her best to keep her tears from falling. Of course she failed.
"No", Veronica shook her head, as if he wasn't right.
"Get closer." He told her, his voice emotionless. As she crawled closer, still shaking, he let go of her hair, but kept the gun still pointed at her.
His hand found her thigh, and grabbed her, too close to her underwear.
"I start to feel like you want this, you know." He said with his thick accent. "I set up everything so you would be comfortable, safe. But no, you act like I was going to rape you then dump you in some alley."
His hand wandered now underneath her short dress. Veronica tried to instinctively pull away, but he got the gun closer to her head.
"I think you want just that, no?"
Veronica shook her head, trying to fight back the tears.
"Cause I can do that. What's up now? Not so lista*? You had a pretty loud mouth as far as I knew you."
Veronica looked at the man pointing the gun at her, with his hand grabbing her, how definitely at her panties.
Marcus's eyes were dark, filled with lust, which she haven't seen in them the entire night. Maybe at first he truly didn't have bad intentions with her.
But it didn't matter now, cause she already set him off. So she might as well play into it - not caring about whether she truly wants this or not.
So she turned her head, now face to face with the gun.
Moments slowed down, as she looked at him. As if the man sensed her switch, his touches grew more intense, his fingers now shamelessly entering her underneath her panties.
She felt dirty in a good way. From some kind of instinct, she opened her mouth, with her tongue out at the gun.
Alvarez looked at her like she went mad, but he put the gun in the mouth. She started moving her tongue and sucking on the gun.
"You sick bitch." He told her. The only thing only lasted a few seconds, and he pulled out the gun out of her mouth, and out it away. He pulled out his finger too. Then suddenly, knocking the wind out of her, he grabbed her by the hair and put her face to his crotch.
"If I knew you are so eager to suck, I'd have skipped the dinner." He said as he unbuttoned his pants. Veronica did as she was expected to.
They were about two minutes in, him forcefully holding down her head, then letting her get some air, when he hit her ass, hard. It wasn't some casual spanking, it made her cry out and gag in the process.
Then he hit her again. Just as hard. She cried out again, but everything was so overwhelming.
Worst part was that she could feel herself getting completely soaked. This situation made her incredibly turned on, so she eagerly pleasured the man.
He lasted long, keeping a steady pace and pushing deep, breaking her throat barrier, making her sore. Her ass was blood red at this point. He came inside her throat.
"Well, this went better than I expected, honestly." He said satisfied as he buckled his pants.
Veronica sat there, panting, with tears and other bodily fluids running down her face. She was completely humiliated. And on top of it all, she was horny now. She wanted to have sex with Marcus. She wanted to enjoy this too.
As if the man heard her thoughts, he playfully added:
"Thank you for joining me tonight, it really was a pleasure. " He chuckled, knowing her state. Veronica couldn't hide her disappointment.
"You can always make another deal, darling. I will be back tomorrow for the meet with the Sons. Don't forget my money."
Marcus then took her hand, very gently, contrasting his earlier actions, and kissed it.
“If you ever want to continue this, you just have to ask.” he said, clearly enjoying the pull he had on her.
Veronica snatched her hand away and got out of the car. She tried hiding her face from the driver who was smoking next to the car. She almost ran up to her apartment and frantically locked the door behind her. She looked out of the window until the car pulled away.
It was three o’clock in the morning.
She looked in the mirror before getting into the shower - a mistake.
She looked like a street hooker. More so, she looked like one of the crow eaters after a SAMCRO party.
Not mentioning the wetness on her face, her mascara was a bit smudged underneath her eyes, her cheekbones burned bright red and her eyes still burned with fire.
The shower did her good, but washed away the little drunkenness too. The reality of what went down suddenly hit her.
Jesus Christ, she thought. How could she look Alvarez in the eye after this? How could she look Jax in the eye? How could she be taken seriously if word gets out?
This wasn’t only about her pride. This was about her business too. More importantly, her persona. She could not be disrespected. Her power never leaned into her femininity, on the contrary. She played a dangerous game and being vulnerable like this was a deadly mistake.
So, unable to change the past, she got into her bed, and mentally prepared herself for the next day, when she would need to pay her second due.
don't fall, just crash around me // part II: teller
happy lowman x reader
hi lovelies! so I decided that I turn this into a series (part I at the bottom), BUT BEWARE: This will not be a feel-good story, at least not right now. Im thinking hurt/comfort, slow burn etc. As always, I write for MY OWN comfort, so if this isn't your cup of tea, stop reading now. <3
warnings: graphic description of past rape, emotional vulnerability, suicidal thoughts, only read if u are an adult
songs: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed, lánc by Dzsúdló, Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
You didn't even know how to feel. You expected some kind of comfort, some kind of relief from this. After you had made love, you immediately got your clothes on. You didn't feel comfortable now, not even with Happy.
Even more, you started regretting it. How would this affect your dynamic in the club? Would this mean anything at all? Does he care? Do you care?
It was overwhelming to think about. You didn't wanna spiral again.
He looked at you concerned. He lit up a cigarette and pulled up his boxers and pants, but remained shirtless.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly.
You looked at him, your gaze hollow.
"I just had sex for the first time after the... attack." You said as you shook your head.
It felt strange being in your body. Your wounds were not healed. The bruises still on you. Now even more bruises: the rope, Happy's grip.
You still felt him leaking out of you as you got dressed. You needed to go home, to take a shower.
As you stood up, you sat right back down with shaky legs. He was careful and aware with you, but he was still himself: rough and emotionless.
"Hey, you can take a shower he-"
"No,"you interrupted quickly. "I need to get home, now." You said as you were already putting on your sneakers.
"Y/N!" He half-shouted at you. Your hand stopped tying your laces and you looked up at him.
"What are you running from? Did I hurt you?" He asked, his jaw tightened.
"No Hap, I just really need to be at home right now. Alone."
"But I will call you later, okay? And there is church tonight." You added.
"Yes, there is." Happy said with a strange look in his eyes, emphasizing the sentence.
Your heart stopped.
"No, I won't tell.." you started saying but he interrupted you. He walked up at you and cupped your face in his big hands.
"You will tell. And if you won't, I will. I promise we will think about what to do. No one will get hurt about this. Only who did it. I promise you little girl."
You didn't even think as you crashed your lips against his. The taste of the cigarette made you bite down on him, drawing you in. He bit your lips back and gave you a rough kiss as he grabbed your throat and squeezed it for one more time.
The rope bruise made it more sensitive and somehow more comforting. This fucked up freakness was always a common thing with you and Happy.
"Okay. I will tell." You said and stepped out the door.
****
The moment you locked your door behind you, you stripped off your clothes, threw them into the basket and stepped into the shower. The air became coconut scented as you decided to do an everything shower.
Thrirty minutes later you were clean- from Happy, from the attempt, everything.
But as you looked in the mirror and saw yourself bare, naked, your skin colored with bruises, you realized that there is nothing you can do which erased what happened.
After getting ready with light makeup and brushing and drying your hair, you got dressed for the church meeting. Put on sneakers, simple blue jeans and after some consideration you pulled on a big black hoodie with sports bra underneath. The hoodie kind of covered your neck. Of course you put on your cut last.
The ride to TM eased you up a bit. The air has already cooled down, caressing your face as you drove down the empty road. As you pulled into the garage, the place was buzzing with people. Some rock music was heard from the bar.
You parked your bike next to Chibs's, waved to Unser, who was enjoying an evening joint outside his RV, and walked into the clubhouse.
It seemed like a party was scheduled after the meeting. Crow eaters were everywhere, the bar was full, hangarounds and family members were everywhere.
You felt a bit uncomfortable as you saw Happy and Gemma sitting at the bar. Some crow eater was talking to him, but you didn't pay attention to her.
"Hi sweetheart." Gemma greeted you and hugged you. You purposefully avoided eye contact with Happy until Gemma pulled back from the hug, then you nodded to him, and he did the same. Gemma looked at you then at him, then carefully asked. "Is everything alright?"
You smiled at her kindly and nodded. You felt Gemmas eyes wander to your neck.
"Let's head to the table." Happy told you and he got up. You quickly followed.
At the table, you sat between Juice and Tig. Juice clocked that something was up. You two had a unique bond, always got along really well. You once almost hooked up when you were prospecting, but eventually decided not to. You loved him dearly, as a friend, maybe a bit even more than that. Not like it mattered.
He looked at you with concerned eyes and even tried to pull down the hoodie from you neck, but you stopped his hand. Even if the others did notice the bruise, nobody said anything.
After Chibs ushered the whole club to the table, he closed the door. Right now you wished that you were outside of it.
The meeting was about the cartel. Always having to bend over backwards to those fucking devils, to please them, to not get killed. Jax trying to pass over the drug business to Samtaz or whatever charter would take on the task. Next week you will have a meet with them and the nomads, for Jax to break them the big news. Earning straight as he said. Pussy and porn.
Just before he could hit the gavel, you looked at him.
"Jax."
Everyone looked at you.
"I have something to tell you. About the cartel."
You could feel everyone shift uncomfortably, as they knew this was dangerous territory.
"Sure, what's the problem?" Asked Jax.
You raised your eyebrows, looked at the ceiling and shook your head. You could feel the tears already forming in your eyes, your throat squeezing up.
Right now, you would rather fall back into Happy's arms.
"You okay?" Tig asked. You tried to hold a neutral expression even through your tears started to fall.
"It's about my bike crash." Words were too hard to form. You looked at each and every one of your brothers, then gathered the strength to tell it all without pause, ignoring the different reactions of everyone.
"Well, I didn't crash my bike. I was going home and stopped at the red light. Out of somewhere behind my back, I was jumped by I think two men. It happened very quickly, no one saw it. They pushed me off the bike. It fell down, almost fell on my leg. By the time I reached for my gun, it was taken away. They quickly pulled me into the nearest alley.
I saw that they were Mexicans, even though they wore balaclavas. I didn't recognized anyone tho.
They pulled out my knife and other gun. I tried fighting back, but they were fast and hit me in the head a bunch of times, I got dizzy. Then they pointed a gun at me as they taped my mouth shut. They waited a bit, then a van pulled up. It was dark green, couldn't make the number.
Inside they were even more men. Same masks. Mexicans. And the strange thing was, they all wore biker boots.
They took me to some kind of warehouse. It was dark and I couldn't really mind my surroundings at that point."
You got to the worst part of the story. The air at the table was frozen solid, as if even the cigarette smoke stood still.
You looked up at Jax, whose eyes looked like he was fighting back tears too.
You didn't dare look at anyone else, not even Juice, not even Happy.
"They were saying all kinds of shit to me. About you guys, about everything. How much "fun" you probably have with me, how ... it doesn't matter.
But they told me that this will happen if "prince Charming" will fuck them over with the drug running and that "you shouldn't mess with the cartel".
Then they took off my cut, took off my clothes."
You were constantly shaking your head at this point. Now you couldn't bear to look at anyone.
"They raped me. All of them. Taking turns, more than once. Beat me in the process, made fun of me, said cruel shit. It was just too much. It is too much.
They said that they can't wait to do it again, and that they are looking forward to kill you all. Then they gave me my clothes back, took me back to the street and dumped me next to my crashed bike.
I can't sleep. I can't eat, I'm shaking at everything, God I'm fucking pissing myself every minute, I'm trying to hold myself together but I can't, I just can't." You bursted out in tears.
Juice reached out to you, but you held up your hands to stop him.
You avoided looking at anyone, but you adressed the next sentence to Jax.
"I didn't tell anyone, cause I was afraid you would go after them and somebody would get hurt, Jax, I'm sorry."
You finally looked up at him as he spoke to you.
"No, Y/N, you are not at fault here. I am sorry. I cannot express what I am feeling right now. I guess this explains the rope burn around your neck too."
You nodded, still avoiding the others, even when a glass was smashed near where Chibs sat.
"Who found you?"Jax asked.
"Happy." You looked at the Sergeant for the first time since you started talking. Even though you let him close today, now you felt ashamed in front of him just like in front of the others.
But his eyes were soft and looked at you with love. He nodded.
"I am calling Tara. Get you checked up." Jax told you, and you nodded. The gavel didn't hit the table that night.
to continued..
link to first part: https://www.tumblr.com/maibeewrites/794858042645757953/dont-fall-just-crash-around-me-happy-lowman-x
summary: You decide it's time to get your first tattoo, and who else might do it than Happy?
(s05ep12 Happy blocking out Clay's tattoos got my mind wandering...)
disclaimer: I don't have any tattoos and sadly I don't really know much about the process, so I didn't go into technical details!
warnings: implied smut at the end, masochistic kink, slight dom/sub undertones, mentions of past abuse
songs: Tunnel of love by Dire Straits
“Yo, Hap,” you said with a smile as you hopped on the counter in one of the TM garages. You wore light blue jeans with a white cropped shirt and your favorite pink sneakers. They always got a little dirty in the garage.
Happy was shirtless, kneeling on the floor, working on a bike. Some music was playing out of a Fender speaker and cigarette smoke filled the air.
“Yo, Y/N, what’s happening?” said Happy, winking at you without stepping away from his work.
“I was thinking that I might want a tattoo.”
That made Happy put down the wrench for a minute.
“Oh yeah? And you came here to tell me the good news first?” He smirked at you.
“Well, I know you do tattoos. And I guessed I want it from you.”
“Wow, I never thought of you as a tattoo girl.” He smiled as he got up from the bike and walked over to the counter next to you. He leaned on it and lit up a cigarette.
“Well I’m not, it would be my first tattoo,” you told him.
“I see, I see. What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Well,” you started, “I only have the where, not the what, actually.”
“And that is?”
You hesitated before telling him.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not, but I want something on my lower stomach, to cover up that scar I have. Something non-figurative maybe.” You blushed as you said it.
“That’s a good idea, girl. That’s a sensitive spot there though.” He gestured to your stomach. “Can I see the scar?”
“Yeah.” You hesitated for just a minute before you jumped off the counter and unbuttoned your jeans, revealing part of your stomach with a darker scar—neither too thick nor too thin—along with the hem of your panties.
“How did it happen?” he asked, putting out his hand and hesitating. You nodded, and he touched the scar, his hand lingering there.
“It’s a long story, but basically it was a crazy ex,” you said, your voice shaking just a bit. “Stabbed me with a shard of glass.”
“Jesus.” Happy looked at you, still close, his hand still on the scar.
You quickly changed the subject. That was a conversation for another day.
“I was wondering, how painful would it be? It’s gonna be my first time.” You put on a mock-flirty voice as you looked up at him. It was strange, having him this close physically.
“Well, baby, that depends on how gentle I go.” He flirted back, earning a chuckle from both of you.
“You don’t really seem the gentle type.”
You still didn’t break eye contact, but the tension was more flirty and playful than anything else.
“Oh, trust me, I can do gentle.” He stepped closer, the tension thickening. You were now between the counter and his body, and you could swear his hand shifted lower, sliding just a bit over your panties.
The eye contact between you felt more intimate with every passing second—
Until, with a loud crash, Juice fell through the garage door carrying a big box of tools.
“Sorry guys, I just… Am I interrupting something here?” he asked as he gathered himself from the floor.
You looked into Happy’s eyes as you responded to Juice.
“No, we were just discussing something.”
“That’s why you’ve got your hands in her pants, Hap?” Juice chuckled while picking up the tools.
Happy removed his hand and stepped back to the bike.
“Don’t get smart, Juicy.”
You zipped up your pants and pushed yourself away from the counter.
“I’ll drop by later, Happy. To discuss some more details.” You winked at him.
You gave Juice a kiss on his cheek as you walked out, then locked eyes with Happy again before leaving the garage.
***
You sat in Happy’s room in the clubhouse, on a gym bench. He was getting his stuff ready, pulling on black latex gloves.
“Just lay down and pull down your pants,” he said simply.
You did as he told you, lowering your jeans halfway down your ass. Somehow it wasn’t weird, getting exposed like this. You felt absolutely safe with him.
In the end, you decided on a butterfly design, which Happy helped you draw. He added some lines on the sides so it looked like a tramp stamp tattoo, just placed lower, on your stomach.
After disinfecting your skin, he positioned the stencil paper carefully and transferred the design. The paper was cold, making you shiver lightly.
Then he positioned himself on a stool and sat between your legs. You tried to think of anything else to ease your mind a bit, but this position made you feel some kind of way.
“You good?” he asked. You nodded. Then he turned on the tattoo gun and put his left hand on your hip.
“Ready? This might feel strange at first.” He pressed the machine to your skin. At the first touch, you jerked a bit as a hot, scratching feeling spread across your stomach. It was strange—painful, but not overwhelming. He chuckled and continued.
After a few seconds, you could really feel the pain. Thing is, you were a bit masochistic. So the situation—the needle and Happy’s proximity—was just a bit too much.
“Oh.” A little sigh left your lips. You could feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.
Happy stopped.
“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” He seemingly hadn’t noticed anything.
“No. I mean yes. Just a bit.” you said, flustered.
He continued working, his other hand covering your stomach.
You closed your eyes and tried calming down your breathing. Your nipples hardened from your arousal, and you could feel yourself getting soaked.
“So, care to tell me how you did get this scar?” he asked, leaning onto you and focusing. “Only if you want me to know, of course.” He looked up at you just for a second.
“Yeah. Well, it was a few years ago now, thankfully. It doesn’t upset me anymore, but… some things just stick with you.” You sighed, trying not to moan. Having to tell him something was actually good, because it distracted you from the pain.
“We met through friends and he was really loving. At first. Then his narcissistic tendencies were more and more clear. He sometimes hit me when he was angry, pushed me around, nothing too harsh.” He stopped a bit and looked up at you. You couldn’t read his face. Then he continued.
“Then one time he arrived home from a party. He was very drunk. He went on one of those jealousy rage episodes. Shattered the glass which was in his hand. Then I told him I was leaving and I’m calling the police. He grabbed a piece of glass off the floor. Didn’t even care if he cut his hand, I guess he didn’t feel the pain in that moment. He charged at me, and, well, he stabbed me.”
You sighed, partly from the story, partly from the sensations.
“How did you get away?” Hap asked, his voice lower than usual.
“He started crying afterwards, apologizing. Until the cops arrived. Neighbors heard the noise.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Happy said. “You know that if you keep hanging around us, nothing like that will happen to you again.”
You tilted your head at him as a question. He looked up at you.
“Because I will kill them.” Happy stated as a fact. You nervously chuckled a bit, but he didn’t smile.
“I didn’t mean it as a joke.” he said in a voice that was too serious for a statement like this.
The next minutes were spent in silence. Now that you weren’t holding a conversation, your focus twisted back to the pain, and of course Happy’s proximity.
“I’m trying to be as gentle as possible, but do you need a break? From the pain?” he asked.
“No, I, ehm, actually like it.” you said and let out a little nervous laugh.
His gaze quickly found yours, and his lips curved into a devilish smile.
“Okay girl, careful, ’cause I will definitely remember this.” He laughed. “And here I try to be gentle.”
The rest of the time went by in a good mood, you two joking and teasing each other. Sometimes you got quiet, focusing on the buzzing and the heat between your legs. By the time you knew it, the hours flew by and Happy wrapped up your new ink.
“Thank you, Happy. How much do I owe you?” you asked as you started to pull up your pants carefully, trying not to hurt the tattoo.
“Nothing, of course. And I would advise you against pulling up your pants right now.” he said, pulling off the gloves with his teeth.
“Why? Will it ruin the ink?” Your hands stopped halfway.
Happy then turned to you, and in two long steps he was in front of you.
Then out of the blue he grabbed you by your neck and arm and lifted you up from the bench, then threw you to his bed. It happened so fast you didn’t even have time to get scared. But it aroused you nonetheless.
“Oh no, but it would make fucking you a bit harder.” he said, and he was all over you — kissing, biting down hard on your neck, whispering to you in between.
“You think you can just whimper in pleasure for three hours without consequences?” He bit you again, this time certainly leaving a mark.
“I’m guessing this time you don’t need me to go gentle.” he growled into your ear.
💬 0 🔁 9 ❤️ 73 · May B writes · ULTRAVIOLENT || Chibs Telford x Y/N
part I. i'm you jazz singer
summary: a twist from a scene from s6/e
💬 0 🔁 7 ❤️ 65 · Post by @maibeewrites · 1 image · ULTRAVIOLENT || Chibs Telford x Y/N
part II. and you'r my cult leader
The next day she
The morning after, Y/N has opened her eyes. She woke with a fading headache. The happenings of the last days slowly crept up on her, but before the anxiety could reach her stomach, she felt the storng arms wrapped around her.
She opened her eyes and was met with Chibs'. The man was already awake. He reached up to her face, and caressed her bruised cheek.
They spent the night together. The man didn't go to the clubhouse party either.
They made love. It was like it wasn't even sex. Certainly not fucking. Just them, their bodies together, and just love and care. It felt cathartic, just like the beating.
"I'm so sorry." said Chibs.
"Me too."
The man hugged her even tighter, his fingers combing through her blonde curls.
"I fucking love you so much. Do you get it?" asked the man.
"I don't know. But i do too."
"I feel like we had this coming a long time ago, you and I. What do you think, girl?"
Y/N was silent for a second.
"Yes, maybe. But I always tought that its too taboo. Two members, I mean. Its no joke with the club. The dynamic of a ... relationship, of any kind, cannot collide with club business..." the girl said.
"That is true. However, that's what we have in common, don't we? Putting the club first. So that's what we do now. Put the club first. And in the meantime...' the man finished the sentence with a kiss to Y/N's neck.
don't fall, just crash around me // part I: the fall
happy lowman x reader
WARNING: attempted suicide, mentions of rape, assault. TAKE TAGS SERIOUSLY! Please don’t read if any of these themes may be sensitive for you. English is not my first language.
As a woman in a motorcycle club there are some struggles unique to your femininity. However it gets to a point, where its unbearable. The only thing you can do, is lean onto your brothers for support.
themes: comfort no hurt; emotional vulnerability, women can be members au
songs: Tears don't fall by Bullet for my valentine, City Lights by Motionless in White
This all felt wrong. The walls were closing in: Roosevelt and the ATF. The cartel. This was too much—way more than you signed up for. And the attack, the aftermath, gave you the last push.
The rope was in your bike’s trunk, tucked away as the last accessory you would ever use. You were on watch at the warehouse — they would probably find your body in the morning.
You had already been drinking whiskey by the time you put your bike down; everything was blurry. No straight lines, no stability—everything was floating.
Your head hurt, your heart hurt; everything was dark, grim, cold. No place for you, no place for softness. And there lay your weakness: softness. Being a woman in a club like this was no joke.
But after all, you had succeeded: you kept the secret. You didn’t tell the club the fact that would lead them into certain death by retaliation — you being attacked and assaulted.
You couldn’t live with it either. The night’s events kept looping through your head. How the men pulled you from your bike. How they removed your cut and your clothes. They kept going at it, abusing your body until your breaking point, leaving you beaten and bloody. You knew that if this got known by the club, they wouldn’t be able to handle themselves. They would take revenge, and that would be too dangerous. So you kept your mouth shut. You told them you crashed your bike. They believed it. However, you couldn’t shake the aftereffects on your body: the bruises that ached as they healed, the constant dirty feeling, and the fact that your pelvic area was so damaged that you couldn’t hold your bladder normally. It wasn’t glorious pain you endured gracefully; it was inconvenient and shameful. You had had enough.
⸻
From the darkness, you only remembered the “fall” — that your body hastily hit the ground, but before it met hard dirt, strong arms wrapped around you, holding you so hard your bones might as well have shattered. Someone had cut the rope around your neck.
“Fuck this shit, girl.” You heard a rough voice slice through the darkness. Happy.
You opened your eyes and, for a brief moment, you just felt him around you. You inhaled deeply, his scent filling your lungs. How nice it would be to get lost in these arms. But no—the reality was much harsher.
“What have you done? Y/N, what have you done?” he shouted. He was angry. His fingers dug into your arm. It would bruise, certainly, but it didn’t matter. Your whole body was broken and now your neck sported an angry, blood-red bruise like a necklace. At least you felt him being here with you. It was real.
“Girl, you better talk,” he said, and you could tell he tried to sound softer. He didn’t succeed.
You looked up at him with wide eyes. His face was the only thing not blurred by the alcohol and the adrenaline. He looked hard. Angry. But his eyes were filled with panic.
You didn’t respond. You reached for his belt, for his gun. Happy was shocked by this; he couldn’t react. Your eyes remained locked with his the whole time. You turned the gun toward your chest and carefully wrapped his hand around it, even placing his finger on the trigger.
“Happy, please.” You looked at him seriously. You almost didn’t notice how your tears started to fall. “Please, just pull the trigger. Only you can do this, please.”
He looked at you like you had lost your mind — and truth is, you probably had. Then he snapped out of it. He snatched the gun far away from you and slapped you right across the face. Hard.
“What’s up with you? Y/N, you need to calm down.”
⸻
An hour passed. You and Happy were sitting in his bedroom. He had taken you away from the warehouse. You sat on his bed, just staring blankly. He sat next to you, chain-smoking. You started to speak.
“That night, I did not get into a car crash. I was attacked.” He immediately looked at you. His eyes burned into yours.
“I wasn’t even driving; I was riding my bike. At the red light somebody knocked me from the side — I fell down. Then they dragged me away from the road. They were four or five men, I don’t remember exactly.” You sighed and your voice shook. Happy put down the cigarette and reached for your hand. You took it, but you looked away from him, unable to bear his gaze.
“They stripped me of my cut, then my clothes.” You felt his body stiffen beside you. “They punched me around, kicked me in the stomach. Then they raped me. More than once. It felt like it just went on over and over again. They hurt me… so much.” Your words fell short and you were afraid to look at Hap right now. He was holding his breath.
“They said that the cartel sends their regards to the club. It was just too much. And everything right now is too much. I just want out — one way or another I want out. I can’t bear anything else, it’s just too much and—” Before you could spiral entirely, he was holding you in his arms.
“Shh, little one, it’s okay, it’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay,” he said even though he knew that it wasn’t true.
⸻
“I’m in constant pain. I’m pissing myself. I feel like I will never be myself again.” You looked him in the eyes.
“You didn’t tell us because you were afraid we would retaliate, didn’t you?” he said. He put a strand of loose hair behind your ear but his hand remained there, cupping your cheek. You leaned into his touch.
“What do you need? Is there any — and I mean anything — that I can do for you which can help?”
You took a deep breath. Honestly, you wanted nothing. The thing you wanted — well, it failed. You felt completely, utterly alone. Words didn’t come to you.
Deep down, you wanted something: safety, closeness, care. And while your brothers in the club always cared for you to a degree, you craved more. You sometimes craved just to be coddled, to be protected and not have to always be tough. You wanted to be a little girl for once.
Normally you would have been too ashamed to say things like these out loud. But this wasn’t a normal situation.
“What would you do for me, Happy?” you asked. He responded quickly.
“Anything. Anything you want. I would kill anyone if you asked.”
You shook your head. “No, this is different. I can’t ask things like these of anyone.” You started crying again. He came closer; his chain dug into your thigh.
“Would you… just hold me? Just keep me in your arms?” Happy was immediately all over you, crashing you into the sheets. He held you tight.
“Would you… love me? For one night? Just this night.” You felt him freeze as you spoke. “I mean, forget it — I speak nonsense now…”
He shushed you, pulled back so he could look you in the eye.
“Girl, I love you. Always,” he told you, with a strange glint in his eyes.
“Yes, Happy, I love you too, but I did not mean like that… I meant as a lover.” You were ashamed as the words left your mouth. But the strange glint in his eyes became a wild flame.
“I told you. I already do.” He spoke with his voice low and deep. Then he grabbed your face, caressed your cheek with his thumb, and kissed you.
PART 2:
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · don't fall, just crash around me // part II: teller · happy lowman x reader
hi lovelies! so I decided that I turn this i
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of rape, dubcon vibes, but for now no adult scenes.
It was 7 o'clock, and she got more nervous by the minute.
She tried to calm herself down and get clean, so she took a bath. Orchid and vanilla-scented bubbles hugged her body. She had already shaven—not a hair on her. Veronica decided, if this was going this way, she was not gonna be humiliated: she would look her best and be on her best behaviour. After all, this was another task life had put in her way.
She had to do this.
Standing naked in her room, she opened up the huge wardrobe. Her underwear was already picked out: white lace, covering almost nothing, with a matching lace bra which rubbed against her nipples as a reminder of her dire situation. Now the only question: what comes on top of this?
She took a good look at her dresses and grabbed a few of them which she saw fit, then laid them out next to each other.
The first one was deep green, silk, and luxurious. Although it emphasised her dirty blonde hair, she deemed it too elegant for the occasion.
The next one was deep red, but too short for this. She didn’t want to be too provocative, although she was almost sure of the outcome of the night.
There were two dresses left. A classic little black dress. It was feminine, it was elegant, it was chic. But it was almost too perfect for the occasion. She tried it on though and smirked in the mirror. She liked herself in this dress, but it showed too much cleavage.
The last one was probably the one Alvarez would like the least. At least, that is what she thought. So obviously, she chose that.
It was made from silk. It was a beautiful shade of baby pink—her favourite colour. When she tried it on, an idea started to form in her head. She would act all innocent, she would play the victim. Maybe it would make Alvarez feel awkward.
So she chose two pink ribbons and tied them into bows and put them into her two ponytails, which she carefully braided. She grabbed a silver handbag, slipped into some ballet flats, and she was ready to go.
A car pulled up outside her house. It honked once.
She was prepared—or at least that’s what she wanted to believe. In reality, her stomach dropped and anxiety started making her break out in cold sweat. This wasn't good.
It was a jet black lowrider with tinted windows. She could feel the man sitting in the car staring at her while she locked her door.
With wobbly legs, she opened the door, and with a last grasp of freedom, she bit her mouth and got in.
The car was driven by the Mayan road captain. On the shotgun seat sat a Mayan unknown to Veronica.
Next to her, with a gun pointed at her, was the Mayan VP.
They were snickering and laughing whilst speaking Spanish. Veronica could only understand some of it.
What the hell was Jax thinking? What the hell was I thinking?
Veronica thought as they got deeper into Mayan territory. She could feel her anxiety getting worse and worse.
The VP beside her was staring at her, unashamed. He didn’t even try hiding it—his eyes hungry. She felt incredibly exposed. She didn’t have her gun. She had some thoughts about bringing at least a knife, but after all, for what? If Alvarez wanted to fuck her, she had to comply. He wanted a whole night. If he wanted to torture her, that would be in the deal too. She really hoped the man’s intentions stopped at being intimate with her. But at the same time, she was sad about this. She didn’t want to do this, but she had to. This life required it. Being an outlaw sometimes meant completely living by the mercy of others. By the mercy of crude, rough men.
They finally arrived—to Veronica’s surprise—at a restaurant. It was Oakland’s most expensive restaurant. A callboy opened the door for them, and she was walked in by the VP on a red carpet. To everyone else in that restaurant, it was a regular night. To her, this night could take everything from her.
She was very surprised, though. She expected a warehouse, clubhouse, compound—any place where Alvarez could have his way with her unbothered.
Maybe they will take me to the back, she thought to herself.
Dressed in his usual combat attire, he looked at her immediately as she entered. Just keep your head up and your back straight, she whispered to herself.
To her panic, she could feel panicky tears forming in her eyes. But that simply could not happen. She could not cry, no matter what happened. She wouldn’t cry.
Alvarez looked at her lazily, his eyes examining every part of her. Now he could do this without shame—she was his for the night.
“Very pretty,” he stated coldly, looking deep into her eyes.
Veronica forced a curt smile and sat down. She couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Pretty location,” she blurted out, confessing her surprise. Alvarez smirked.
“Not what you expected?”
She shook her head. A waiter came to take their orders. They both ordered wine.
“Not hungry?” he asked. Again, she just shook her head. He looked at her almost gently.
“What did you expect? That I will rape you in a backroom?”
She didn’t answer. She started to feel a bit stupid as she still couldn’t look at him. Where was the brave Veronica who misled ATF agents multiple times? Who mingled with outlaws? And most importantly, who couldn’t be fucked with?
“Look at me,” grunted Alvarez, as if he could read her mind. His voice was commanding—it sounded like an order. And it probably was. So Veronica looked at him, looked him in the eyes, and forced herself not to look away.
Her bright eyes were open and scared, slightly wet from the tears threatening to fall out. His were dark, unyielding—but strangely, they were the only thing grounding her.
She felt very strange. She was afraid of him, but at the same time, he was the only one who could save her.
The tension was broken by the waiter and the wine. She took a sip as soon as the glass was put in front of her. When the waiter walked away, Alvarez spoke again.
“Are you truly this scared?” He honestly sounded surprised.
Veronica looked at him again. “Why, I shouldn’t be?”
Alvarez smirked again. He loved this situation: the Sons were dependent on his help, and now their little toy was in his lap. He had more plans for tonight—this was only the pregame.
She was right to be afraid. He was not an animal, but he was a man. And sometimes, men do terrible things.
Veronica could always defend herself, always keep a straight face.
Until one day, when she has to do something that makes even herself question, what was she made for.
part I Bigger dog
"Everybody, calm it!" said Jax for the fourth time with an angry expression. Everyone held everyone at gunpoint. The deal with the Mayans went south. The Sons were all in Mayan grounds, they were surrounded.
They came to convince Alvarez to let them sell a shipment of guns near Oakland. Needless to say, El Padrino wasn't too happy about them arming up his streets.
But the Irish were pushing hard on the Sons and they needed to find a buyer ASAP. The Niners didn't buy it. They were deep in shit. A street gang in Oakland was offering just enough money for them to cover the Kings and make some profit for themselves. It would been the perfect situation, only for them weren't on enemy territory.
"It is a one time deal. You get a percentage too." Jax added.
Alvarez laughed. "You white boy you tripping on some shit if you think I will let you sell here."
"At least can we talk through this without pointing the guns?" Veronica said quietly and gestured around with her free hand.
Alvarez shook his head, and signalled to his men to lower their guns.
"Thank you" nodded Jax. The mexican did the same.
"Please Marcus, if we weren't in this situation, we wouldn't ask you something like this. And have another offer." Jax gestured to Veronica to continue.
So this was the part when she had to step in. She found herself in this situation because of a debt. She had to borrow once some money from SAMCRO, and they agreed that instead of fully paying it back in cash, she did something for them.
Her gig was a high end beauty store in the outskirts of Stockton. She imported MAC lipsticks and Uzis. Dior powders and metamphetamine. What was in season. That was her shit.
"If you let them sell this shipment now, I will pay you an allowance in the next three months, Papi. A percentage of sales. The higher the sales, the more money you get" said Veronica and crossed her arms. This was her deal with Jax, this is how she was gonna pay off the rest of her debt.
"What's your business have to do with this?" Alvarez asked.
"Oh, I'm just happy to help out my friends, you know. It's good for business you know if you have powerful relationships with powerful people" said Veronica with a smirk on her face.
Alvarez and her had already crossed ways in multiple occasions. Everybody in that area who dwelt in illegal businesses knew her. She immigrated from Eastern Europe when she was a minor. As an orphan, she quickly had to fend for herself in order to survive in this climate. She was the diva, a woman in power, who was not involved in porn or prostitution, but instead, in their trade. She was a curiosity nonetheless.
Plus Veronica was young and pretty. She had long dirty blonde hair, which she always wore wavy, and big blue eyes which stared so intensely into everyones' eyes. She was tall, almost the same height as Alvarez. She was athletic but very curvy at the right places, and slim where she needed to be. She was always told when she was a kid that she was "big boned". In the California sun, her skin was a bit more tan that originally, but still, she was a light shade of cream.
Overall, she looked beautiful. But her beauty was always overshadowed by who she was. She always wore combat boots, leather or cargo pants, utilitarian clothing, jackets, denim. She almost carried herself like a man sometimes, but she still had that feminine softness in her. The way she spoke, she was wise, determined and playful at the same time.
Of course she caught Marcus Alvarez's eye. It was always his fantasy to absolutely hatefuck the shit out of that smartass blanca. To make her cry and make her beg for it. He was curious, what else she could do with that pretty, pouty mouth besides playing tough.
"Jax, how much do you need this deal?" asked Alvarez.
"I think I aleardy layed it out for you. I need this" replied Jax with a stern voice. "Ask anything else, I give it to you"
Alvarez was thinking for a second.
"Alright. I let you sell it. You give my my 100 grand. And the percentage for her sales."
"Thank you, ese" Jax said and he couldn't hide his relief.
"There is one more thing, you." Alvarez said straight to Veronica.
The woman raised her brows.
"Me? Yes?"
"No, I mean I want you. For one night." Marcus looked her in the eyes.
Veronica got really confused at first, then it dawned on her.
"What?" The question left her lips so silently that even Jax could barely understand.
The air froze and everyone stared at her.
She rarely felt anxious. The feeling of anxiety was only familiar to her from memories. When she was in fifth grade, and in the winter, the boys would come and drag the most pretty and popular girls in the snow, kicking snow in their faces and ruining their clothes. She always hated that. Her stomach sank every time when recess came. How the boys cornered her and dragged her out in the snow.
But now, she felt the anxiety. A flash of cold washed over her.
"What?" she asked, but the question felt like it wasn't even aimed at Alvarez in particular. It was aimed at everyone. Did she really need to do this for the Sons?
"Chill out, ninita. You spend a night with me. A whole night" said Alvarez with a smirk on his face.
"You a funny man" Veronica said, and now her anxiety slowly turned to anger.
"Easy now" intervened Jax. He pulled Veronica to the side.
"Listen, I don't want this to be this way. But you have to say yes. As much as I know that this is wrong. Please" Jax looked at her with pleading eyes. "They will kill my family if we don't get a buyer" he spoke the last sentence almost as a whisper.
Veronica felt sorry for Jax, but at the same time wanted to laugh him and everyone in the face. What is she? What is she in the eyes of these men?
Really, a night with her?
It didn't take much thought to figure out what were Alvarez's intentions. She always could tell if someone wanted her.
She always put people into four categories: the ones with mutual attraction, even if it was platonic, the ones with no attraction, and the ones who either were attracted to her, but she wasn't to them, and the ones with the opposite.
Marcus Alvarez was in the first category. She found the man good-looking, but this didn't help the situation, that he demanded a night with her, so he could use her as he will. No one does this to her. No one touches her without her consent.
And now she had to give consent. The Mayans were snickering, the Sons stared at them and at their leader with rage. But they had to stay quiet, she was doing this for them.
"Okay. Tell me where to go and when." said Veronica finally, completely defeated.
"Just be ready tonight by 9. I will pick you up at your house" said Alvarez "now go, get the fuck out of my crib."
Jax ushered the Sons out. Veronica only looked straight ahead, pretending to not see the concerned stares.
"Oh, and wear a dress, look pretty" added Alvarez as he turned his back on Veronica.
Veronica could always defend herself, always keep a straight face.
Until one day, when she has to do something that makes even herself question, what was she made for.
part I Bigger dog
"Everybody, calm it!" said Jax for the fourth time with an angry expression. Everyone held everyone at gunpoint. The deal with the Mayans went south. The Sons were all in Mayan grounds, they were surrounded.
They came to convince Alvarez to let them sell a shipment of guns near Oakland. Needless to say, El Padrino wasn't too happy about them arming up his streets.
But the Irish were pushing hard on the Sons and they needed to find a buyer ASAP. The Niners didn't buy it. They were deep in shit. A street gang in Oakland was offering just enough money for them to cover the Kings and make some profit for themselves. It would been the perfect situation, only for them weren't on enemy territory.
"It is a one time deal. You get a percentage too." Jax added.
Alvarez laughed. "You white boy you tripping on some shit if you think I will let you sell here."
"At least can we talk through this without pointing the guns?" Veronica said quietly and gestured around with her free hand.
Alvarez shook his head, and signalled to his men to lower their guns.
"Thank you" nodded Jax. The mexican did the same.
"Please Marcus, if we weren't in this situation, we wouldn't ask you something like this. And have another offer." Jax gestured to Veronica to continue.
So this was the part when she had to step in. She found herself in this situation because of a debt. She had to borrow once some money from SAMCRO, and they agreed that instead of fully paying it back in cash, she did something for them.
Her gig was a high end beauty store in the outskirts of Stockton. She imported MAC lipsticks and Uzis. Dior powders and metamphetamine. What was in season. That was her shit.
"If you let them sell this shipment now, I will pay you an allowance in the next three months, Papi. A percentage of sales. The higher the sales, the more money you get" said Veronica and crossed her arms. This was her deal with Jax, this is how she was gonna pay off the rest of her debt.
"What's your business have to do with this?" Alvarez asked.
"Oh, I'm just happy to help out my friends, you know. It's good for business you know if you have powerful relationships with powerful people" said Veronica with a smirk on her face.
Alvarez and her had already crossed ways in multiple occasions. Everybody in that area who dwelt in illegal businesses knew her. She immigrated from Eastern Europe when she was a minor. As an orphan, she quickly had to fend for herself in order to survive in this climate. She was the diva, a woman in power, who was not involved in porn or prostitution, but instead, in their trade. She was a curiosity nonetheless.
Plus Veronica was young and pretty. She had long dirty blonde hair, which she always wore wavy, and big blue eyes which stared so intensely into everyones' eyes. She was tall, almost the same height as Alvarez. She was athletic but very curvy at the right places, and slim where she needed to be. She was always told when she was a kid that she was "big boned". In the California sun, her skin was a bit more tan that originally, but still, she was a light shade of cream.
Overall, she looked beautiful. But her beauty was always overshadowed by who she was. She always wore combat boots, leather or cargo pants, utilitarian clothing, jackets, denim. She almost carried herself like a man sometimes, but she still had that feminine softness in her. The way she spoke, she was wise, determined and playful at the same time.
Of course she caught Marcus Alvarez's eye. It was always his fantasy to absolutely hatefuck the shit out of that smartass blanca. To make her cry and make her beg for it. He was curious, what else she could do with that pretty, pouty mouth besides playing tough.
"Jax, how much do you need this deal?" asked Alvarez.
"I think I aleardy layed it out for you. I need this" replied Jax with a stern voice. "Ask anything else, I give it to you"
Alvarez was thinking for a second.
"Alright. I let you sell it. You give my my 100 grand. And the percentage for her sales."
"Thank you, ese" Jax said and he couldn't hide his relief.
"There is one more thing, you." Alvarez said straight to Veronica.
The woman raised her brows.
"Me? Yes?"
"No, I mean I want you. For one night." Marcus looked her in the eyes.
Veronica got really confused at first, then it dawned on her.
"What?" The question left her lips so silently that even Jax could barely understand.
The air froze and everyone stared at her.
She rarely felt anxious. The feeling of anxiety was only familiar to her from memories. When she was in fifth grade, and in the winter, the boys would come and drag the most pretty and popular girls in the snow, kicking snow in their faces and ruining their clothes. She always hated that. Her stomach sank every time when recess came. How the boys cornered her and dragged her out in the snow.
But now, she felt the anxiety. A flash of cold washed over her.
"What?" she asked, but the question felt like it wasn't even aimed at Alvarez in particular. It was aimed at everyone. Did she really need to do this for the Sons?
"Chill out, ninita. You spend a night with me. A whole night" said Alvarez with a smirk on his face.
"You a funny man" Veronica said, and now her anxiety slowly turned to anger.
"Easy now" intervened Jax. He pulled Veronica to the side.
"Listen, I don't want this to be this way. But you have to say yes. As much as I know that this is wrong. Please" Jax looked at her with pleading eyes. "They will kill my family if we don't get a buyer" he spoke the last sentence almost as a whisper.
Veronica felt sorry for Jax, but at the same time wanted to laugh him and everyone in the face. What is she? What is she in the eyes of these men?
Really, a night with her?
It didn't take much thought to figure out what were Alvarez's intentions. She always could tell if someone wanted her.
She always put people into four categories: the ones with mutual attraction, even if it was platonic, the ones with no attraction, and the ones who either were attracted to her, but she wasn't to them, and the ones with the opposite.
Marcus Alvarez was in the first category. She found the man good-looking, but this didn't help the situation, that he demanded a night with her, so he could use her as he will. No one does this to her. No one touches her without her consent.
And now she had to give consent. The Mayans were snickering, the Sons stared at them and at their leader with rage. But they had to stay quiet, she was doing this for them.
"Okay. Tell me where to go and when." said Veronica finally, completely defeated.
"Just be ready tonight by 9. I will pick you up at your house" said Alvarez "now go, get the fuck out of my crib."
Jax ushered the Sons out. Veronica only looked straight ahead, pretending to not see the concerned stares.
"Oh, and wear a dress, look pretty" added Alvarez as he turned his back on Veronica.
Veronica could always defend herself, always keep a straight face.
Until one day, when she has to do something that makes even herself question, what was she made for.
part I Bigger dog
"Everybody, calm it!" said Jax for the fourth time with an angry expression. Everyone held everyone at gunpoint. The deal with the Mayans went south. The Sons were all in Mayan grounds, they were surrounded.
They came to convince Alvarez to let them sell a shipment of guns near Oakland. Needless to say, El Padrino wasn't too happy about them arming up his streets.
But the Irish were pushing hard on the Sons and they needed to find a buyer ASAP. The Niners didn't buy it. They were deep in shit. A street gang in Oakland was offering just enough money for them to cover the Kings and make some profit for themselves. It would been the perfect situation, only for them weren't on enemy territory.
"It is a one time deal. You get a percentage too." Jax added.
Alvarez laughed. "You white boy you tripping on some shit if you think I will let you sell here."
"At least can we talk through this without pointing the guns?" Veronica said quietly and gestured around with her free hand.
Alvarez shook his head, and signalled to his men to lower their guns.
"Thank you" nodded Jax. The mexican did the same.
"Please Marcus, if we weren't in this situation, we wouldn't ask you something like this. And have another offer." Jax gestured to Veronica to continue.
So this was the part when she had to step in. She found herself in this situation because of a debt. She had to borrow once some money from SAMCRO, and they agreed that instead of fully paying it back in cash, she did something for them.
Her gig was a high end beauty store in the outskirts of Stockton. She imported MAC lipsticks and Uzis. Dior powders and metamphetamine. What was in season. That was her shit.
"If you let them sell this shipment now, I will pay you an allowance in the next three months, Papi. A percentage of sales. The higher the sales, the more money you get" said Veronica and crossed her arms. This was her deal with Jax, this is how she was gonna pay off the rest of her debt.
"What's your business have to do with this?" Alvarez asked.
"Oh, I'm just happy to help out my friends, you know. It's good for business you know if you have powerful relationships with powerful people" said Veronica with a smirk on her face.
Alvarez and her had already crossed ways in multiple occasions. Everybody in that area who dwelt in illegal businesses knew her. She immigrated from Eastern Europe when she was a minor. As an orphan, she quickly had to fend for herself in order to survive in this climate. She was the diva, a woman in power, who was not involved in porn or prostitution, but instead, in their trade. She was a curiosity nonetheless.
Plus Veronica was young and pretty. She had long dirty blonde hair, which she always wore wavy, and big blue eyes which stared so intensely into everyones' eyes. She was tall, almost the same height as Alvarez. She was athletic but very curvy at the right places, and slim where she needed to be. She was always told when she was a kid that she was "big boned". In the California sun, her skin was a bit more tan that originally, but still, she was a light shade of cream.
Overall, she looked beautiful. But her beauty was always overshadowed by who she was. She always wore combat boots, leather or cargo pants, utilitarian clothing, jackets, denim. She almost carried herself like a man sometimes, but she still had that feminine softness in her. The way she spoke, she was wise, determined and playful at the same time.
Of course she caught Marcus Alvarez's eye. It was always his fantasy to absolutely hatefuck the shit out of that smartass blanca. To make her cry and make her beg for it. He was curious, what else she could do with that pretty, pouty mouth besides playing tough.
"Jax, how much do you need this deal?" asked Alvarez.
"I think I aleardy layed it out for you. I need this" replied Jax with a stern voice. "Ask anything else, I give it to you"
Alvarez was thinking for a second.
"Alright. I let you sell it. You give my my 100 grand. And the percentage for her sales."
"Thank you, ese" Jax said and he couldn't hide his relief.
"There is one more thing, you." Alvarez said straight to Veronica.
The woman raised her brows.
"Me? Yes?"
"No, I mean I want you. For one night." Marcus looked her in the eyes.
Veronica got really confused at first, then it dawned on her.
"What?" The question left her lips so silently that even Jax could barely understand.
The air froze and everyone stared at her.
She rarely felt anxious. The feeling of anxiety was only familiar to her from memories. When she was in fifth grade, and in the winter, the boys would come and drag the most pretty and popular girls in the snow, kicking snow in their faces and ruining their clothes. She always hated that. Her stomach sank every time when recess came. How the boys cornered her and dragged her out in the snow.
But now, she felt the anxiety. A flash of cold washed over her.
"What?" she asked, but the question felt like it wasn't even aimed at Alvarez in particular. It was aimed at everyone. Did she really need to do this for the Sons?
"Chill out, ninita. You spend a night with me. A whole night" said Alvarez with a smirk on his face.
"You a funny man" Veronica said, and now her anxiety slowly turned to anger.
"Easy now" intervened Jax. He pulled Veronica to the side.
"Listen, I don't want this to be this way. But you have to say yes. As much as I know that this is wrong. Please" Jax looked at her with pleading eyes. "They will kill my family if we don't get a buyer" he spoke the last sentence almost as a whisper.
Veronica felt sorry for Jax, but at the same time wanted to laugh him and everyone in the face. What is she? What is she in the eyes of these men?
Really, a night with her?
It didn't take much thought to figure out what were Alvarez's intentions. She always could tell if someone wanted her.
She always put people into four categories: the ones with mutual attraction, even if it was platonic, the ones with no attraction, and the ones who either were attracted to her, but she wasn't to them, and the ones with the opposite.
Marcus Alvarez was in the first category. She found the man good-looking, but this didn't help the situation, that he demanded a night with her, so he could use her as he will. No one does this to her. No one touches her without her consent.
And now she had to give consent. The Mayans were snickering, the Sons stared at them and at their leader with rage. But they had to stay quiet, she was doing this for them.
"Okay. Tell me where to go and when." said Veronica finally, completely defeated.
"Just be ready tonight by 9. I will pick you up at your house" said Alvarez "now go, get the fuck out of my crib."
Jax ushered the Sons out. Veronica only looked straight ahead, pretending to not see the concerned stares.
"Oh, and wear a dress, look pretty" added Alvarez as he turned his back on Veronica.
The next day she woke up with a horrible headache. But she couldn't rest at home, she awoke to a call from Tig. Church meeting.
Well, just what Y/N needed. From the moment she woke up, the only thing she could think about was the night before. The pain of it all, her betrayal, Chibs's betrayal. How he hit her. And how he took care of her after. But it didn't matter. If she ever had hopes for her and him, after last night, it was all gone.
Walking into the bathroom she looked in the mirror. She was taken aback by how bad she looked. Her eyes were bruised from her eyebrows down until her cheeks. Above her right eye there was a cut, which turned into a scab overnight. The same on her lips. She cleaned herself up and put clean stitches over it. Her whole face was swollen.
After the shower, she dried her hair, and whilst drinking a cup of tea and smoking a cigarette, she held a bag of frozen peas over her face, hoping to reduce the swelling. She didn't ever bother with makeup, knowing that her condition was far from concealable.
She put on a pair of skinny brown jeans, and a loose cream colored turtleneck blouse, put on her cut, and after completing her outfit with black boots, she was out the door.
She arrived just on time. Usually she is always early, but she didn't want to spend more time at the clubhouse today than it was necessary.
When she walked in, all of them were at the bar. Jax, Tig, Happy, Quinn, Bobby, Juice, Opie and Chibs. The prospects were cleaning up.
When they first saw her, everyone got quiet for a second.
"Holy shit." Jax exclaimed "Who did this to you?"
"Girl, are you okay?" asked Tig, and he quickly walked up to her and held Y/N's face gently in his hands.
"Yes Tigger. I'm okay guys. This was some personal stuff, there is nothing to worry about." She tried to sound as convincing and confident as she could.
"That is certainly a thing we should be worried about" said Bobby.
"The person who did this to you is an animal. That is all that I'm saying." Quinn spoke. Even Happy looked concerned.
Opie and Juice didn't say anything but were very conflicted. Opie hugged her shoulders as they went in to the Table.
Chibs haven't said a word. He didn't even look her in the eye.
"So, before we talk about what is on our plate with the Mayans, Y/N, you have to tell us what happened. Who hurt you?" Jax asked.
They all nodded and turned to her.
"This was personal business, and I do not wish to tell you just now. I can't tell you, trust me." She looked Jax straight in the eye, with a knowing look. At first Jax just stared at her, but after some monent, she could see that he finally understood what happened. After all, Jax and Chibs were the only one knowing about the ratting. Jax glanced at Chibs who was continuously staring at a specific part of the table in front of him. He then looked back at Jax, and the President understood everything.
"Fine. I respect that Y/N."
"But that is not okay? Somebody hurt her. Who was it? A lover maybe?" Tig guessed.
"He is right, we have to protect her" Juice added.
Y/N chuckled at Juice's suggestion that she needs protection, but smiled at him. She loved Juice, he was so cute, like a little brother to her.
"If pres said to leave it, leave it." Chibs finally looked up and at Y/N. His voice was strict.
After that, the subject changes to Alvarez getting into the Diosa business. They all voted aye for allowing the mexican to buy out Nero's part.
"And guys, I have some good news. We will have a big party tonight. We are all set, things going okay for now. Everyone, wind down, have fun." Jax said and hit the table with the gavel.
Y/N didn't want to spend her time at the clubhouse. She almost immediately got up, and left.
Honestly, the only thing Y/N wanted was to lay in her bed, eat some ice cream, watch a movie and fall asleep. Luckily, there was no more club business for that day, so she went to the grocery store before heading home, where she bought some frozen pizzas, and ice cream. She rode home and was all set for the day.
She took another shower. There was something about feeling clean. She put on a new set of baby pink pyjamas, and crawled into her bed. She got overwhelmed by the tv selection, and after finding nothing she was in the mood for, she started watching a documentary about cheetahs.
She tried her best to pay attention to the hunting method of the animals, or her ice cream, or anything which was not Chibs, but she couldn't. She never wanted to see him again. At the same time all she wanted was him.
When she finished her sweets and put the spoon in the dishwasher, she heard knocking.
She froze. She didn't expect anyone. Her gun was in her bedroom, and her semi was near the front entrance of the house on the coat hanger.
By the time she thought of a solution, it didn't matter.
"Aye, it's me girl. Let me in, I want to talk to ya." It was Chibs. Y/N felt like her heart skipped a beat.
She walked up to the front door.
"What do you want?" She spoke softly, just loud enough for the man outside to hear.
"Let me in. I just want to check up on you." She couldn't figure out Chibs's intentions. It dawned on her, that she was scared. Scared of her friend, brother... She felt incredibly weak and bitter.
"Y/N?"
"I'm scared." That was her response.
------------Chibs' POV----------
"I'm scared." Her voice was so weak, so soft, he could hear the fear and it crushed him. She was everything. The most amazing, interesting, caring and smart women he has ever known. She made a mistake, she had to pay. Or maybe he was too harsh?
He felt as if his heart was sinking to the deepest void.
"Please sweetheart. Let me in, I am not here to hurt you. I just want to..." But what did he want? Himself didn't even know. "I just want to see you."
The door slowly, very slowly opened. Her small frame seemed even smaller now. Barefoot, with her pink pyjamas she was like a little girl. Only little girls don't have their faced wrecked by big bad bikers.
Chibs walked into the house. When he heard the door close behind him, he straight up walked up to Y/N who instantly stepped back until her back hit the wall.
"Don't." He said and embraced her in his arms. At first she froze but then put her arms around him. She smelled like fresh bodywash, clean bedsheets and candy. She was so pure at that moment.
------------------
He smelled like tobacco, gasoline and dirt. His strong arms somehow calmed Y/N down.
"I'm here." She said.
"And so am I. I am sorry, I shouldn't have done this to you."
"No, if you haven't done this, maybe somebody else would've done even worse. I could be dead, Chibs. For what I've done."
He didn't reply. Instead, he picked her up, initially in bridal style, but she eagerly put her legs around his waist.
They looked each other in the eye, and then Y/N caressed Chibs's glasgow smile.
"Take me to bed."
part I: https://www.tumblr.com/maibeewrites/735443871918669824/may-b-writes
💬 0 🔁 9 ❤️ 73 · May B writes · ULTRAVIOLENT || Chibs Telford x Y/N
part I. i'm you jazz singer
summary: a twist from a scene from s6/e
part III:
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Post by @maibeewrites · 1 image · ULTRAVIOLENT || I love you forever
part III - a very short final snippet ♡
(I recommend
warnings : description of violence, domestic(ish) violence, beating
tags: angst, hurt/comfort
songs: Ultraviolence by Lana del Rey, ecstasy by SUICIDAL-IDOL, Így hagysz el by Byealex ft Hiro
❀ ❀ ❀ ❀
Y/N was actually just finishing up on a Sportster. She pulled down her gloves, put down the tools, and wanted to head out, when the Sergeant at Arms stepped into the garage.
"Chibby?" Y/N called out to him with a smile. She usually gave everyone awkward nicknames.
Chibs slowly walked up to her, and had an expression which started to make Y/N feel uncomfortable.
"Is everything cool?" she asked.
Chibs walked slowly past her, then leaned on the counter.
"I need a minute with ya." He said with strict voice. Y/N's smile started to fade.
"Yeah, sure." Y/N still didn't know what to expect. Her and Chibs were on very good terms. Almost too good. At least what concerned Y/N' feelings. She also suspected that the Scot has a soft spot for her too.
But right now, Chibs was anything but soft.
Y/N froze when she saw the man taking off his jacket.
"You know, Jax might have gave you a pass, but I can't forget about that, so easily." Y/N's heart was pounding in her chest. She could feel the panic creeping up on her.
She had no choice. Roosevelt was pushing on her hard for intel. She didn't say anything though, what would seriously put her brothers or club at danger.
But she also knew that it didn't matter. She was a rat, and Chibs knew it.
The man started to take off his rings, and lined them up almost ritualistically on the counter.
Y/N wanted to cry. She knew what was going to happen. But she couldn't cry and she couldn't run away. Or to better put it, she wouldn't.
"I've never put my hands on a woman. Not once." He said slowly. "This does not give me joy or satisfaction. On the contrary." He put his last ring down. "But I have to do this now, Y/N." Chibs started to come closer. Slowly, menacingly.
"I know."
She stood her ground. With her back straight, chin up, she looked her friend in the eyes.
"I love you." she said.
"I know."
And with that came the first blow. The man didn't hold back. Y/N fell onto the floor. Her palms were scratched by the rough wood. Her head was spinning but she knew she had to get up. This time she could get up on her own. She tries to keep her balance and looked Chibs in the eye, waiting for the next hit.
Chibs felt rage, disgust, sadness and love at the same time. He didn't want to cause her serious damage but he knew he had to do this. She got away far too easily. If one of their brothers knew about her ratting, Chibs wasn't sure if she would get away with only a beating.
In her e/c eyes he could see sorrow, pain and determination. She wasn't broken. Yet.
He hit the other side of her face next. Y/N felt her lip slicing open and she almost bit her tongue. She fell on the floor again. A little bit of blood dripped down on the wood.
The pain was bad, the dizziness worse, and the fact that Chibs did this to her, the worst. But the worst of the worst was that she knew, she deserved this. She was well aware what this lifestyle meant. What being in a club meant.
This time she couldn't get up on her own. She tried tough, but she fell back on the floor. Chibs grabbed her and roughly pulled her up. Her heart was crying, but she wasn't. At this point she couldn't stop her body from trembling. She held onto Chibs' cut, looked him straight in the eye again, and awaited the next hit.
Chibs still didn't show mercy. Y/N let out a cry of pain. She was grabbing Chibs cut but could not fully hold on. She fell onto her knees in front of her friend.
It was almost too much for Chibs. But he felt this rush of rage which told him, this is not the end yet. He dragged her back onto her feet, but she could barely stand up. Her face was bleeding and red. She still didn't cry, but the defiance in her eyes faded almost completely.
Chibs hit her again, and she let out a scream. She felt something snap in her mouth.
He didn't let her fall this time, he grabbed her arm and waist, and kept her upright. She would bruise where he grabbed her, but at that point, it did not have importance.
Tears started to fall from her eyes. She couldn't look him in the eye anymore. Quiet but guttural screams and grunts could be heard. She couldn't take it anymore.
Chibs saw that she was almost gone. He wanted to steady her, but it was impossible. He dragged her next to the counter balanced her against it. Then he hit her one last time, as hard as he could.
Her cries were suddenly stopped when she finally lost conciousness.
--------------------------------------
They were silent. The man held Y/N's head firmly with one hand. Firmly, but gently, as gently as he could. With the other he was holding a piece of wet towel, and was wiping down Y/N's face. She was calmed down, only occasionally a tear left her eyes. Her face looked horrible. It was swollen, with red bruises which would turn blue afterwards. Chibs put stiches on the eyebrows where it was split.
Y/N felt that one of her back teeth was moving. She had to have that checked out. The blood was filling her mouth, and she let it drip from her mouth to the floor.
"What is it?" Chibs asked her, concerned that it was internal bleeding.
"A tooth." She spoke quietly.
"Let me see." The man said and she opened her mouth compliantly. He put his index finger carefully in her mouth and inspected the damage. He could feel it slightly moving.
"You will have to see a dentist about that." He said.
"I know."
When he finished cleaning her up, he started to slide his fingers through her hair with one hand, and reached out to touch her face with the other. Y/N flinched and almost jumped in her seat.
"Hey, it's okay." The man whispered, and caressed her face and lips. This was the first time since the beating when Y/N looked at Chibs. They sat in silence but they knew exactly what the other one wanted to say.
She closed her eyes and he leaned in to kiss her forehead.
Seeing her this way was hard on him. He never hurt a woman before, and he didn't thought he will, especially not Y/N. He stood up and pulled her up alongside him, then embraced her. He hugged her tightly and lovingly. That is when Y/N started crying. It wasn't even crying, it was sobbing. All the built up fear, sadness and pain crushed down on her. She couldn't stop shaking, her tears made Chibs' cut wet.
He didn't say anything, just took her into his arms, and sat down. He rocked her like a baby back and forth, sometimes kissing her cheek, forehead and caressing her gently. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity to them, she calmed down, and fell asleep in Chibs' arms.
PART TWO:
ULTRAVIOLENT || Chibs Telford x Y/N
part II. and you'r my cult leader
The next day she woke up with a horrible headache. But she couldn't
