humility; @maisiearnold - Tumblr Blog

elijbates:

Mm, that’s funny ‘cause I missed you and yours.

Why don’t you come to dinner later? I told Ma I’d make spaghetti and meatballs. Then we can mess around in the laundry room for old times sake.

You mean to tell me I have to wait all afternoon to get my hands on you?

Worth it. Plus it’s one less meal I have to think about making. And I’m sure I’ll get one of your t-shirts out of it, so... double worth it.

alicefoss:

Good! I hope he’s matured by now and sees that you’re perfect for him! I mean, if Casey and Ryder could mature you’d think Eli could as well, but that man is such a wonder and a mess.

Oh gosh, what is going on between us? I think we’re official without the words kinda, sorta, I don’t know. I know I like him a whole lot and Chandler adores him and being with him is silly and healing every part of me that I need healed.

He can certainly resemble Peter Pan, but... I don’t know. I’m not trying to pressure anything out of the situation. I’m just enjoying his company and trying to figure out how I could possibly have as many of his babies as possible at the same time.

I think he likes you a whole lot too. In my observations, which I’m much better at now that I’m not living here, is that you’re really the only person he feels comfortable around. I’d bet money on you’re healing some part of him too.

amazingmaisie: birthday boy :)

maisiearnold: just doing some farming with our neighbors <3

#photo #fairy god maisie

elijbates:

Yeah, only Maimy can pop my bubble, Frank.

Oh my god, Elijah James. Don’t say that to her. She’s gonna go to school and say that to her teacher, now.

While we’re popping bubbles, c’mere and kiss me. I missed you and your mouth.

#she whispered the italics

alicefoss:

I’m happy to hear your kids had a great time, but excuse me, did I hear that correctly? Because it sounds like you’re telling me the plot of a Lifetime movie.

That is insane, Mais! How romantic. Holland needs to step up his game. So are you two like…an official thing or what?

I honestly have no idea. He’s been at my house for four days straight, though, and we’ve slept together every night. Both literally and... you know. The other way too. I feel like it’s too early to call him my boyfriend, but... I don’t know, Alice. This time it’s different.

Fill me in on what’s going on between you and Holland, though. He seems more smiley than before.

alicefoss:

Ah, really? That’s so sweet! Chandler and I cooked lots while you all were away, and he insisted we save a muffin for Linky. I didn’t because it’d be stale as a rock by now, but you know, it was the cute thought that counted. Did you have a nice time?

Our boys are the cutest best friends. Oh, speaking of best friends actually, Frankie and Issy got to play a lot together while we were in Hawaii. Like attached at the hip. I’ve never seen her like that. We all had a really good time. We needed it. Can I tell you a secret though? Eli kissed me. On the beach. At midnight. In the pouring rain. While Cal was asleep in the room we were sharing.

calabrahams:

As Maisie spoke, professing all of the love she had in her heart for Cal, he rolled his tongue angrily around in his mouth, shoving in another bite of pancakes to keep him from saying something he didn’t really mean. To him, Maisie felt as cold as his food tasted. He was disappointed. Disappointed in his life, in his luke-warm breakfast and tasteless diner coffee. Disappointed that his second chance of love had been seemingly chewed up and spit out before he even really had a chance to enjoy it. Disappointed that Maisie would choose a douche-bag like Eli Bates over a hard-working, honest guy like himself. Cal didn’t even have to ask. He knew it was Eli. He knew they’d had something together once from the first time he saw how Maisie looked at him, and though Cal oftentimes saw that same shine in her eyes when they were together, it was never nearly as bright. She didn’t shine for him the way she shined for the stupid, arrogant, music man.

“I hope you’ll keep the garden for them…” It was Cal who was know refusing to make eye-contact. He feared if he did, he’d forgive Maisie right there on the spot, and believe everything that was coming from her mouth, “You know how Lincoln loves those sunflowers so much. The ones that are already taller than him especially…and Frankie and those little chickens…” He’d already lost his appetite, but still forked another bite into his mouth, “Can I stop by later and grab my stuff? I’d like to say good-bye to them too. The kids, obviously,” He sighed as a very small, joking smile appeared on his lips, “Not the chickens.”

You could always read Cal’s face. Or at least Maisie could. Britton always complained about how stoic he was, how she never knew what he was thinking. Maisie could always see it though. She picked up on his micro-expressions more than anyone else did. She could tell his mood by the way he blinked and the speed at which he moved his eyes away from hers. Then, it seemed like he was disappointed. Disappointed and angry. Angry and frustrated. Like he was holding back. Like he was biting his tongue about something. Maisie thought she knew what was bothering him - it was obvious that she was with Eli at this point. She rubbed a small love bite on her neck that she had forgotten about until that point.

“You can say goodbye to the chickens too, if you want,” Maisie said plainly. Trying to crack the smallest of smiles, but Cal’s face didn’t change. “If the kids are ever at Nora’s, you are more than welcome to talk to them and play with them. They love you, you know. You’ll always be their Cal Pal.” Cal really was the first man in their lives after their own father died. After the loss of Rachel and Layton, Maisie didn’t know how she was going to pick up her life and put it back together. But she had to for the kids. And Cal was a big part of that. Now, Cal was leaving. And she knew she would be okay, but the kids didn’t need to lose another person they loved and trusted. “And you can always come over to see them.... I know you probably don’t want to though. But yeah, come grab your stuff. Say goodbye to the chickens.... Oh, do you think you could cha--” Maisie stopped. For a moment she forgot they were breaking up. She was going to ask him to change a light bulb, but she stopped herself and said, “Never mind, I’ll ask Eli.”

And she didn’t realize his name slipped. And her face ran white.

calabrahams:

Maisie’s guilt was spread easily and obviously across her face. It was in her body language and the way she sat back so far in the booth, as if not to be any closer than Cal than she needed to be. It was in the way she hadn’t made direct eye contact with him yet. The way she barely spoke to their waitress, and in the way she anxiously raised her tone when she was confronted. Maisie was cornered. It was apparent to Cal that she’d fallen out of love or lust or whatever beautiful soul connection they had with him, and it deeply hurt him. It angered him. It took him so many places all at once. He swallowed, silently nodding in thanks as his pancakes were delivered, and though steaming hot and smelling delicious, he didn’t take a bite just yet.

Cal’s eyes lingered from the pool of syrup on his plate to Maisie, and though she was crying, when she asked him to just say “it” - he did.

“…You aren’t in love with me anymore,” He stated, bluntly. It was the truth, and you wouldn’t tell him otherwise. “It seemed like you were still in love a couple days ago, but you aren’t anymore, and it’s okay,” He lied, his chest heavy,“I love you enough to let you go and not keep you from who you really want…” Then Cal took his first bite of his chocolate chip pancake, and they tasted disappointing and nothing like his mother’s.

Maisie was never really good at eye contact. It wasn’t that it made her uncomfortable, but it wasn’t exactly something she wanted to hold when she was uncomfortable. She liked eye contact to know someone was listening to her. She liked eye contact when asking questions. It was something that was driving her crazy about raising Frankie, but Maisie often reminded herself that eye contact is a learned trait at not necessarily something that you’re born knowing. Anyhow, Maisie avoided Cal’s eyes. She didn’t want to see the hurt and disappointment on his face, and she didn’t want him to see the hurt in hers. She held back and held off as long as she could. Finally, Cal spoke.

“That’s not true, I do love you.” Maisie retorted almost immediately. She did look up into his eyes, and he was hurt. He was really, really hurt. And it hurt her. Cal made a comment about letting Maisie be with who she really wanted to be with, and it made tears well in her eyes. “I love you, Cal. So, so much. Like... more than words can describe,” she wiped a few tears away from her eyes, looking up to the light that hung above their booth. “The way you are with Link and Frankie. The ways you just jumped right into being there for them and for me. The little farm we created...” It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that to be with someone, she would have to hurt someone else. But he was right. Maisie did want to be with Eli. She wouldn’t tell him that, but she also wasn’t fighting to have him back. “I do love you Cal, and I promise this hurts me just as much as it does you.”

But as many times as Maisie said she loved him, she never said she was IN love with him, and that’s what mattered here more.

calabrahams

Sensing an impending break-up, Cal didn’t wait long to see it through - it was the morning after they returned from Hawaii when he shot Maisie a text, asking if she’d meet him at the diner. He hadn’t eaten much their last few days on the trip, noticing a distant weirdness about her, and now, he had a taste for some pancakes. His Mom would always make pancakes before a bad day in Plumfeld, and Cal felt like this day wouldn’t end up being a good one. His heart was already on the verge of total ruin.

“Hey,” He said to Maisie as she slid into the booth across from him, childless. He wondered who she had watching Lincoln and Frankie. He could tell something was going on, and though she tried her hardest to conceal it, he was pretty sure he saw a love bite on her neck, “I…uh…” Cal’s chest began to tighten, and he stared at his untouched coffee cup, “I don’t know how to do this.”

maisiearnold

Maisie will never forget the look on Caiden’s face when she asked him if he thought it was possible to be in love with two people at the same time. He warned her. He said love was tricky and that she really needed to figure out her feelings before she broke someone’s heart. “I think I’ll end up breaking someone’s heart anyway,” she told him. “I don’t want to settle. No matter what, I think my heart is going to ache.” Then Caiden said something that really changed her perspective, “It shouldn’t have to ache. You don’t deserve that.” It was true. She didn’t deserve that, but her heart did ache. It ached the entire first night with Eli. The entire trip in Hawaii. That night on the beach, in the rain, and in the Jeep, Maisie’s heart no longer ached. It didn’t ache for Eli. It didn’t ache fro Cal. It didn’t ache for her children or her late family, or herself. In fact, whatever the opposite of ache was, that’s what she felt that night. And that’s when she knew what needed to happen. The rest of the trip was weird. It wasn’t that Maisie was distant, but it was almost like she was preoccupied. If Cal had asked about it while they were still there, she would’ve told him, but he didn’t. So she didn’t say anything.

When they landed in Washington, Maisie was just so ready to get home that she packed her children into her own car once they reached Nora’s house and drove back to her place without saying a word to anyone. Not to Nora. Not to Eli. Certainly not to Cal. She put them to bed and crawled into her own and slept better than she had in weeks. The next morning, Eli came over to watch the kids and brought Sailor and Lily to play, and Maisie threw on a hoodie and a pair of leggings. Her hair in a bun. She snuggled Eli for a moment or two on the couch while the kids were off in the playroom. Her heart was aching. Not for herself. Not for Eli. But for Cal. About the conversation that they needed to have. “I don’t wanna go,” Maisie said to Eli, fighting back the tears that were swelling in her throat. He told her better now than never, and that he’d be there when she got back. She kissed him a few times kissed the kids goodbye and left out the front door, to her car, and down to the diner.

Her stomach was churning. Surely, she wouldn’t be eating anything. Then she saw Cal through the window, sitting at the booth they had sat in together so many times before. Her hands in her lap, she asked the waitress for a water with lemon and then Cal opened his mouth to speak. He was hesitant, tiptoeing around it almost, and Maisie blinked hard. Her eyes closed, the corners of her mouth turned downward, she didn’t want to cry but she couldn’t help it. “I know what this conversation is, so you can just say it.” Her voice was louder than it probably needed to be, but she didn’t really care. Her anxiety was through the roof, and she didn’t know if she could handle the ache in her heart. She hid her face in her hands and cried, feeling her water being dropped off at the table and hearing Cal’s coffee being topped off. “Please just say it so we can get it over with.”

elijbates:

With the rain steadily pouring down on the two of them now, Eli felt as if he was starring in one of the romantic-comedies he’d watched as a young child with his mom. The couple was finally professing their desires to one another. A rumble of thunder boomed in the background. Lovey-dovey music began sounding quietly in his mind. It was all happening, and it felt oddly surreal. As Maisie kissed Eli and suggested running away together, his feet almost began floating off the sand. Running away together? It sounded so sweet and unrealistic, yet every reckless part of his mind and body wanted to agree with her and run far, far away.

He was smiling. The type of smile that you couldn’t wipe from your cheeks even if you tried. He would deny it if asked, but Eli’s eyes even felt a little watery too. Maisie was pure. She had darling intentions, and perhaps she was even as rash as himself, which he wasn’t sure would always be a good quality if they pursued a long-term relationship together. Though in the moment, he loved the carelessness the two of them were showing.

“We’re on an island,” He finally spoke, a raindrop falling from his forehead down his cheek, “We won’t get that far.” He hated to be the bearer of bad news in their romantic novel, but a big part of him loved that Maisie led a normal life. It wasn’t the running away together that delighted Eli. It was the simply living and being together that did. Which is why he sighed and added, “Plus, your kids would miss you. Mine? They might notice I’m gone after a week or so.”

As Maisie’s face dropped a bit, Eli got an idea. He wouldn’t let reality ruin this special, rekindling moment just yet. “We can run away to somewhere drier though,” With an assuring squeeze to her petite, soaked shoulders, he grinned at Maisie, “C’mon.”

He grabbed Maisie’s hand, their fingers intertwining, and they quietly half-ran, half-treaded through the sand and to the driveway of Britton and Caiden’s beach house - (Eli was still mentally declaring it his, but that was an issue to unpack another time).

The family had rented a fair share of cars to drive around the island. Gage had a huge bus for the crew and their gear, Nora had a fifteen passenger van that she’d been attempting to drive throughout the week, and then there were some sporadic other cars they’d rented too, just to have enough. Eli had settled on driving a white Jeep for the duration of their trip. Well, he really hadn’t. Lily saw it at the airport and went berserk, so she decided on it for him. Though it was “girly” by today’s standards, Eli didn’t care too much. And now, he was especially thankful to have somewhere to sneak to. He’d irresponsibly not locked the Jeep earlier, and so he and Maisie were easily able to crawl into the backseat without any hassle. Though, Eli practically fell in, and chuckled as he and Maisie tried their hardest to not make any sound when closing the doors. He felt like he was in high school again, sneaking around, and it was thrilling.

Now, finally safe from the rain storm and the sneaky eye of anyone who’d been watching them on the beach, Eli put an arm around Maisie, resting his feet on the center console of the Jeep. He inhaled, partially to catch his breath, but more to take her in. It’d only been a week since they’d been together, but Eli would be lying if he said he hasn’t been thinking about Maisie all that time. Her soft skin. Her sweet lips. The birthmark on her lower back. The light freckles on her nose. But he couldn’t put the moves on her again, not yet, not when she was already weary of him just loving and leaving her - though now he hoped she was seeing his vulnerability and true intentions more and more.

After a few moments of silence, the raindrops and their breathing being the only things sounding the air between them, Eli finally spoke. He wasn’t sure what to say, really. It seemed so much had happened in so little time. But he knew he wanted to say something. He knew their fairy-tale, romantic-comedy, love-story would halt to a complete stop, and perhaps it was selfish and ill-considered for him to ask, but he did anyways, “Are you going to tell him?” And instantly, Eli regretted asking. He hoped he’d talked quietly enough that perhaps Maisie didn’t hear him over the sound of the rain. Maybe he’d just thought it instead of actually asking. He heard Caiden cackling in his ear about how he’d ruined the moment. Even Caiden wouldn’t intentionally ruin a moment, and he was the worst out of all the guys with girls. “You know what?” Eli was quick to speak again, this time with intention as he turned his face to meet Maisie’s, “Forget I said anything. We’ve run away together! Mm,” He sunk a little further into the backseat, “And we’ve got, what? Six good hours until the sun comes up?” Eli smirked through the darkness, planting a sweet and playful kiss on Maisie’s cheek, “I really have been thinking about you all week. You looked beautiful in that bikini today.”

Eli was a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day. He was the sunbeam after a rainstorm. He was the light at the end of the tunnel, your favorite character in your favorite tv show, and the perfect song to end a concert with. He was all of these things wrapped into one human, and Maisie couldn’t believe she ever thought she’d get over him. She couldn’t believe she’d ever pick someone else over him. He was her best friend for years after arriving to Nora’s house (other than Ty, but they had a different sort of bond), and he was the person she relied on the most. They were Nora’s right hand guy and girl, and for whatever reason, Maisie couldn’t help but feel that it was completely coincidental. Nora knew a lot more than she let on, and Maisie knew this first hand. They had, at this point, hundreds of glasses of wine in her office just chit chatting after mostly everyone had gone to bed. She’d never reveal the secrets she learned from those talks, but she’d always be grateful for the motherly role Nora served in her life as well as the friend she had made in her. Regardless, Maisie was comfortable in her decision. She was just pissed it took so long to get to that point.

“So what! We can be back before the sun is up, and we can still grab a couple of hours of sleep before anyone notices we’re missing!” Maisie said through the rain and the thunder that seemed to be rolling in. Before she could say anything more, he grabbed her hand, and her fingers fell into place, between his, as if they were made for each other, and they took off running.... sorta. It was hard to run in sand, but the rain had helped pat the sand down a bit. They threw the doors open to the jeep and crawled in, and Maisie laughed and laughed and laughed. As if they were magnetic, she placed a hand on the crook of his neck and the other on his ribcage. And with a little sway, her hand fell and her arm draped over his shoulder, their cheeks touching now with a small hug. And they got quiet and she just wanted to hold onto him. She let go, and they relaxed back into the seats of the Jeep. She had always wanted a Jeep. Her dad drove a bright yellow Jeep Wrangler when she was a kid, and she’d never forget sitting in the front seat, her long blonde hair in braids, after a soccer game singing along to whatever 80s rock band he was playing that week.

Her head now propped up by his arm and the back of the seat, he feet up on the console as well, she took a big breath in and let an even bigger one out. The anxiety of the last week washed away with the rain on the island, and she was still enjoying watching a light flicker on and then off again every so often from the strip of beach houses they had rented. What a magical time. What a beautiful time. What a beautiful person to be looking at. And immediately, Maisie began to Future-Trip. If she was going to be with Eli, she was going to commit 150%. It was because she could see a future with him. One where they were married and living together. One where they were raising their four kids and future babies (she would have to make it work somehow). She saw him on rainy Sunday mornings strumming a guitar in the sunroom. She saw him on Friday nights bringing home pizza and wrapping presents for the kids on Christmas Eve because Santa was going to be there any minute!!

She was smiling and blushing as he asked a question. Are you going to tell him? And the color drained from Maisie’s face. Of course she was going to tell him. She had no other choice. She was not the type of girl to cheat on her boyfriend. However, she was also not the type of girl to jump from one relationship straight into the next. She was not the type of girl to date someone when she had feelings for another person. She should have listened to Caiden. She should have ended things when the predicament first came up. Before she had time to answer, Eli was already agreeing to running away. Some color came back and Maisie grinned, biting into her lip. “Where are we gonna go?” Maisie asked, sitting up and turning a bit to look at him eye to eye. Before anyone had any real answer to their questions, Maisie had crawled through the cab from the backseat to the front seat and looked at Eli eagerly. “Well? Let’s go!” Not being from the island, neither of them knew where they were going. But to Maisie, it didn’t matter. She just wanted to be with him. Wherever they could be.

And after a few minutes of driving, Maisie looked over, put a hand on the back of Eli’s head and started to play with his curls. “I am going to tell him,” Maisie reassured him. “I don’t want to keep you a secret if I don’t have to, but I don’t know if we can while we’re here. And if I do while we’re still here, then you and I still can’t be seen together. So if I wait until we get back, at least we can be friendly while we’re still here. Like we used to be before.” And after a few longer, slower moments, Maisie piped back up, “I think Nora knows something is up between us. She keeps giving me weird looks.”

alicefoss

Yeah, Chandler’s never known a quiet house in his entire life. The first morning after everyone left, he slept in until ten-thirty! I may start putting him in ear muffs from here on out.

maisiearnold

We definitely missed you two on the trip. Link would hand me seashells and say, “for Chandler,” every time.

elijbates:

As the wind whipped past the two of them, bringing hints of the salty sea and approaching rainstorm with it, Eli wished he’d brought a sweatshirt. His t-shirt was thin, his shorts somewhat too short, and his feet completely exposed. He folded his arms across his chest, not out of anger or anything like that, but as a last ditch attempt to warm himself. Then, Eli wished there wasn’t an awkward distance between he and Maisie. He wished this hard part could all be over with. He wished Sailor had never gotten sick, that they could’ve woken up next to each other, and Cal could’ve already been far, far out of the picture. But he wasn’t - he was in the bed that he and Maisie had been sharing the entire vacation, probably rolling over and wondering where she’d gone to. Eli longed to hug Maisie, but as he finished speaking and she began, she also started to cry.

Eli listened intently. He was surprised with how Maisie expressed herself. She was mature, a true grown woman, and he knew if he’d even attempted to say sorry to Devon, she would’ve exploded and called him at least six different curse words by now - regardless of whether it was his fault or hers. Maisie was defending herself. She was fighting for Eli. She was powerful enough to bring a lump to his throat. He wasn’t quite sure if it was all because of Maisie or because of how cold he was too, but, Eli got goosebumps up and down his arms almost instantly and as she confessed she’d called Cal, a shiver rocked his body. Eli twisted himself closer in his own arms, a small droplet of water landing on his nose. He knew they’d be in for a tropical-sized storm soon enough, and with the way their moods were brooding along, it almost felt like they were the ones causing it.

Maisie’s eyes were as piercing under the moon as they were in the daylight, and as they finally found Eli’s, he breathed out a quick sigh of relief. Though both were seemingly trusting yet untrusting of one another, hurt yet drawn like magnets, willing to admit their wrong-doings yet too stubborn to take all of the blame, neither one was ready to let this be the end. To Eli, it felt very much like the beginning instead. The large, heavy rock in the road that you have to move out of the way to find the sunny, curvy, perfect Pacific Coast Highway. He was willing for things to get uncomfortable. It was new to him, but he was trying. And as the rain finally began to beat down on the two of them, skipping straight from a sprinkle to an angry downpour, Eli finally approached Maisie. He held her, her warm body quickly beginning to heat Eli back up, and then he laid a gentle kiss on the top of her head before meeting her eyes again.

“Maisie…I want you,” It wasn’t in a sensual tone, but more of a longing one. A heartfelt, romantic-comedy, kiss-me-in-the-rain sort of tone, “I’ve always wanted you. I haven’t had the best luck with telling you that or even just wanting you and only you, but it’s getting clearer now. Really clear. Every second I see you with Cal…” Eli’s eyebrows contorted downward in a painful sort of look,”…It just doesn’t feel right anymore. I still want your time. All of your time,” He knew he sounded selfish, and so he laughed at himself a little, his dimples popping as he spoke, “But I can’t help it.”

At only 23, Maisie felt far older than she was. She had always been “mature for her age” and “an old soul” but things were only getting stronger as she got older. She never had any interest in partying as a high school student, and when her family was killed, she knew it that she never would have that typical college experience. She applied to colleges when the time came, but when she didn’t get into her dream school, she gave that dream up. She enrolled in courses at the local community college and took online courses through a nearby university after she obtained her associate’s degree, and by that point, Maisie was a semester deep in her graduate work. She never regretted the way her early twenties played out, but she was noticeably different than those her same age. She was just a few months younger than Bryce, and though both of them mothers, they lived two very different lives. So, standing before Eli, who was quite a few years older than she was, she didn’t feel any younger. She felt his same age, if not slightly older. When she first moved in, Eli would mention how surprised by how young she was. Nora mentioned it too. Everyone always seemed shocked. But that’s just who Maisie was.

Maisie spoke fluently. As if all of her words were planned out before she ever spoke them, though that was far from the truth. She was a bit hot headed. She was impatient. She was irrational from time to time. You’d never really know it just by looking at her, but those who knew Maisie, who truly knew her, knew how quick to speak and react she was. Which makes sense as to why she immediately called Cal in the morning after her night with Eli. Now, on the beach, though she was speaking as if she had time to prepare her own monologue, she was just rattling off words that came to her as they came. She wasn’t really thinking before she was speaking. She caught how his chest fell when they made eye contact, and she knew he was relieved. She was too. Yet, she could see the hurt on his face. She could see how desperate he was to connect to her, and for whatever reason, that broke her heart. It’s funny how their worlds were flipped. Before, it was Maisie pining after Eli. He was the one on the forefront of her mind while he was also juggling Devon. Now, he’s claiming that she’s the only one on his mind, but now Maisie also juggling Cal. And for a brief second, the hothead in Maisie thought, Good! Now he knows what this feels like.

The rain poured over both of them, and Eli bent and wrapped her body around Maisie’s. Maisie’s arms fit around Eli’s body perfectly, as if they were made for him. He kissed the top of her head and she shut her eyes, letting her tears blend in with the droplets of rain that dusted her cheeks. The storm really came out of no where. As if it was just cast over the two of them. He pulled away, but Maisie wanted to hold on tighter. She held his sides in her hands as he pleaded with her. He laughed at himself a bit, and it made Maisie let out a nervous chuckle. He was everything to Maisie. He was the sun and the moon and his dimples were the stars, and she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Maisie, on her tippy toes now, wrapped her arms around Eli’s neck, pulling him down to meet her a little bit. They had a solid twelve inches of difference in their heights, and though he didn’t really need to bend down, he did for her.

“I want you,” Maisie shared the same sentiment. “I only want you.” That was the truth, but how do you break up with your long-term boyfriend who is helping you raise children and build a little farm? For a split second, Maisie made a note to reach out to her house sitter to see how the animals were doing. “I wish you could come up to bed with me,” she said. “I’m so sorry you can’t. I’m so sorry we’ve not talked ‘til now.” Maisie was a sucker for a romantic comedy. She was a sucker for a good love story. She loved the kissing-in-the-rain trope. Maisie didn’t want to talk about Cal. She didn’t want to think about him. She wanted Eli and nothing but Eli. She kissed him on the mouth, a hand on his face, rain still drenching both of them. How was she going to sneak back in the house dripping wet? “Runaway with me, Eli.” Maisie said, not a thought preceding it. “Let’s just get in the car and go.”

maisiearnold: HIM!!!

#link

#photo

elijbates:

Eli wasn’t more than three steps into the quiet, sleeping house when Lily appeared at his side, her arms crossed over her favorite, pastel pink, Nike crewneck that she always slept in, “Sailor pooped his bed, Eli. His bed! Where were you?”

“Out,” He shook his head, giving Lily a rushed side hug, “I’m home now though, alright? Why don’t you go back to sleep?” He plopped a kiss onto her blonde hair, “I love you. I’ll be up in a couple to say goodnight.”

Whenever either of the kids got sick, they always ended up in Eli’s bed, so, he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade from the pantry, a puke bucket and a bag of pretzels for himself, and then hurried down the steps to his bedroom where Nora and Sailor were cuddled up in his bed half-watching Cheaper By The Dozen and half-sleeping. “Hi, I’m so sorry…” Eli mouthed to Nora, watching as she maneuvered herself off the bed, all while Sailor stayed snoring with his mouth open next to her. After a billion years of being a mom, she was good at stuff like that, but it still amazed Eli. She gave him a big hug, told him not to worry and that Sailor had been sleeping for about thirty minutes. She told him that he was due for Tylenol again in two hours, and then Nora told Eli to shower because he smelled like sex, and with a somewhat disappointed yet amused shake of her head, she went back upstairs to sleep.

Eli didn’t listen to Nora, and instead hopped right into bed and got a few hours of weird, restless sleep before Sailor was poking him in the arm and asking for something to eat. With his eyes barely open, and the house still as quiet as could be for a Saturday morning, Eli went to the kitchen to make Sailor something light. He decided on oatmeal and as he stirred a spoon around in it, hoping that it was heated somewhat evenly from their old microwave, Eli caught a glimpse of Cal and his heart dropped to his knees. His red hair was ruffled as if he was startled awake, and though rushing, he’d still somehow managed to go back to his garden and pick a fresh bouquet of flowers. Eli knew in his heart of hearts that Cal was going to go be with Maisie, and while the young man wasn’t racing through the kitchen as he heated up some old coffee, Eli still felt a sense of urgency. So, Maisie needed him. Why though, and why him? She hadn’t called or even bothered to shoot Eli a text to see how Sailor was doing, and now, her main man was going back to her side, ass-kissing flowers in his hand. It made Eli sick, and as he nodded in Cal’s general direction to acknowledge him, he got a headache. He wasn’t sure if it was stress or hangover related, but it was there, and all Eli wanted to do was crawl back into bed next to his sick son.

–

Watching Cal and Maisie frolic with the kids on the beach was Eli’s last straw. The last knife to dig into his ribs. The last nail of his coffin. His skin itched with something new. It wasn’t sunburn, but jealousy, and though he was trying his best to let the night they had together escape his mind (as it obviously had hers), he couldn’t help but feel like there was more to their story. She was in every song he’d listened to and in every movie he’d watched since then. She was in every breakfast he shared laughing with Lily and Sailor and in every cute, romantic couple they’d seen so far on the island. He wouldn’t accept an ending of their relationship like this. It was too hollow. Too cold. Hell, even their friendship deserved so much better.

Sometimes I’m like a child, that’s somethin’ I can’t release Dreams of her comin’ home, sweet home And I’m tellin’ you home is so sweet Said you reminded me of the summertime, and I still mean that

It was after Eli had checked on Sailor and Lily one last time when he decided to text Maisie. He truly had nothing to lose, and he just needed some answers. It would either be texting her or finding that girl from the bar their first night there, and quite honestly, Eli wasn’t in the mood to entertain a random girl and probably end up hooking-up in the back of a random SUV. He couldn’t even really think about another girl without Maisie floating around in his mind too. For a moment he realized Devon’s image hadn’t been taking up as much space in his head as Maisie had been and that made him feel…something. So, though his Mom would’ve yelled at him for drinking as a coping mechanism, Eli took just a single shot of liquid courage and then picked up his iPhone.

Hi - He was too impatient, so he sent another text. Would you want to talk? And then one last one - At the shore in a few minutes?

In a full room, I’m the only one she’s smilin’ at So wouldn’t you let me know if you were thinkin’ less of me?

He waited five minutes, then ten, and finally Eli’s phone vibrated and Maisie had answered with a simple, “Okay.”

Eli took a breath - it was as equally calming as it was nerve-wracking, and then he pulled on a pair of shorts and made sure that his green, stereotypical, tourist t-shirt that he’d bought wasn’t too wrinkled or stained with any shaved ice from earlier. Smiling and waving at Caiden and Britton who were cuddled up on the couch in the living room, Eli decided against wearing any shoes and then headed out to the back porch and down into the cool sand. Within just a few feet, it got much darker and colder, and that’s when he first noticed Maisie standing near the shore. A lump formed in his throat. He had so much to say and silently prayed that he’d get it all out the right way. It was just Maisie, after all, but after the night they’d spent together, she didn’t feel like just Maisie to him anymore. Eli wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew that he regretted calling Devon earlier in the day and leaving her a stupid, needy voicemail.

And I was talkin’ with you earlier We were open and vulnerable, it was wonderful I, I used to dream that you would talk to me I used to dream that you would talk to me

Finally, Eli was face-to-face with Maisie, and he wished so dearly to pull her in for a hug. He didn’t, and that’s when she first spoke.

“Yeah,” Eli agreed to a walk, trying to unsuccessfully find Maisie’s eyes for a moment before she turned and they began walking down the beach. He cleared his throat. The waves beating angrily against the shore felt a lot like Maisie’s energy. Her arms folded tightly across her chest and as their bodies gave off heat from being near each other, she took a step more off to the side so she wasn’t as close to Eli. “Listen…Maisie…” He so desperately wanted to reach for her, but knew he shouldn’t, “Sailor was sick. Genuinely sick. I’d…I wouldn’t…the last thing I wanted to do was leave you that night, alright? It was one of the best nights of my life. You’re…geez…you’re amazing.” He’d stopped dead in his tracks and though she was still refusing to find his eyes, his big, bluey-green ones never stopped searching for hers, “The next morning I was in the kitchen and I saw Cal with flowers and I was like–fuck it! Fuck her!…I knew he was going to see you. I just didn’t know why, but I didn’t care. I was pissed. And, I’m sorry,” He understood words were just words, but Eli said them again anyways, his brow pulled down into an endearing, yet painful frown, “I’m sorry.”

And I couldn’t tell you enough that I’m sorry And no, you couldn’t tell me enough that you love me But she’s bringin’ the moon and stars to me Damn permanent reverie And even though this life, this love is brief I’ve got some people who carry me

Maisie’s anxiety was high for real this time. As he approached her, she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath. Her mouth went dry. Like cotton. Her palms were sweaty and her eyes stung with tears. Her toes wiggled further into the sand, and as badly as she wanted to reach out to him, to hug him, to hold him, to nuzzle into his neck, to kiss him, she knew she couldn’t. Not there at least. Not without the threat of someone seeing, and while she didn’t care about PDA, she was still with Cal. She was sharing a bed with Cal that entire vacation. They practically lived together, raising kids and chickens and goats and dogs and cats and a small little food garden together. They were little versions of Maisie’s own parents, down to the garden with fresh foods and flowers. But Maisie knew, and ironically Caiden knew too, that she wasn’t happy with him. Not really at least. She couldn’t break up with him. Not yet. So she couldn’t get caught with Eli. Not by anyone. Not Caiden. Not Ree. Not even Bryce and Ryder’s twins. So she offered a walk, and before she could look him in his eyes, before he could reach out to hug her or hold her hand, she had turned. Arms folded. Eyebrows furrowed. Fighting off every last tear as they tried to make their way up and out.

They hadn’t walked far, just past Nora’s house when Eli stopped. So Maisie did too. She kept a distance from him. Not too far to feel like they weren’t having a private conversation, but just far enough so that it was a little awkward. So that if he tried to reach out for her, as she figured he would, he’d really have to reach for it. Eli rattled on about how Sailor really was sick, how he had to get home, how he saw Cal the next morning. That made Maisie’s stomach ache. She knew she had fucked up too. She wasn’t getting out of that scot-free. She could’ve called Eli. She could’ve texted him. She could’ve gone over to the house. But the fact of the matter was, Eli was the boy who cried wolf and the wolf was leaving whenever he got his fill. That’s how their relationship had been. Maisie yearned for him. She longed for him. He played the field until he was in over his head and he dipped. They went months without talking before, and when Maisie couldn’t find him that next morning, that was the anxiety that was triggered.

Then he apologized.

He didn’t have to.

Not really at least.

Maisie burst into tears. She tried to fight it off as long as she could, but there she trembled. Covering her mouth with her sweatshirt sleeve. She blinked hard and cried quietly for a moment. She really didn’t know what to say or where to begin. Her mind just kept juggling Eli and Cal and the kids - hers and Eli’s. After about thirty seconds, thirty long seconds, she wiped her eyes with her sleeves and dropped a hushed, “Sorry,” in reference to the tears. He waited patiently, though. And that was better than what probably would’ve happened a year or so ago. “I don’t know why I called Cal,” Maisie hummed, with her eyes still fixated at a spot in the sand. The wind whipped by and her baby hairs flew into her face and away from her forehead and back into her eyes. They still hadn’t made eye contact. They still hadn’t touched.

“I know Sailor was sick. Nora told me. I’m sorry I never called to check on him or on you. I just...” Maisie’s heart was beating out of her chest. “I was just expecting you to be there and when I couldn’t find you...” Now that she was talking about it, maybe her PTSD had been triggered that morning too. Having someone here one minute and gone the next, feeling completely blindsided and confused... it left Maisie feeling a lot. “When I couldn’t find you,” she repeated, finding hiccup-y breaths between phrases, “I was hurt. I thought you weren’t going to come back around. I thought it was an easy excuse to leave. You could’ve woken me up, you could’ve told me. You could’ve texted me too or something...

“I know I could’ve called. I could’ve texted. I just... I needed you to be there the next morning. I needed you, and you know me, Eli Bates, I don’t need people. And that’s scary, that’s a really scary feeling.” Finally, as if it was written that way, Maisie’s breathing steadied and she found her eyes wandering from the spot in the sand, over his t-shirt, up his neck to his jaw and his lips and his nose then to his eyes. And man, those eyes even sparkled at night. She didn’t know how he did it. “I needed you, I wanted you, but I didn’t think you wanted me. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself, not even the phone call from Nora later that day could tell me that I was wrong about that.”

elijbates:

“I’ve got Sailor’s soccer game at five, so I’ll stick around until then,” Eli smiled faintly, his voice becoming sleepier and lower by the moment. As Maisie mentioned the kids waking up early, Eli was reminded of life when Lily and Sailor were little. Though he didn’t officially adopt Sailor until a couple years later, he’d started actively parenting him and Lily when they were only five and in the same kindergarten class together. Now, both in the sixth grade, Eli didn’t miss the early mornings and chaotic energy that came with raising little ones. Though they were still little to him, and he oftentimes babied them and gave them exactly what they wanted, he was happy to be raising preteens instead. Preteens were fun and exciting. They were built-in best friends, and though sometimes the biggest headaches in the world, Eli loved them both so much. Probably entirely too much, but that was just how he loved people in general.

He nodded at her suggestion of sleep, grinning as she whispered sweet words to him. He could see a future with Maisie Arnold. One that was tender instead of toxic. One that was early mornings cooking his famous waffles instead of going out and being papped. One of kind voicemails instead of drunk ones. It put Eli in an even happier, sleepier daze. As he rolled onto his back, prepared for Maisie to cuddle closer, Eli noticed his phone lighting up. He hadn’t had his volume on that night. He didn’t want anything ruining their time together. Carefully and before Maisie could roll over onto his chest, Eli sat up, his heart sinking into his stomach when he noticed three missed calls from Nora, two from Lily, one voicemail, and a few texts. He scrunched his nose, a habit he’d done ever since he was younger when he was excited or nervous, and held his phone up to his ear, his foot tapping anxiously on the carpet beneath him.

“Eli,” Nora’s voice wasn’t in a full blown panic, but it wasn’t entirely calm either, “Hi, honey. I don’t know if you’re still at work or out somewhere…agh, come home when you can. Sailor’s been up since one with some sort of stomach bug and really wants you here. He can’t keep anything down. Not even water. I might take him to that twenty-four hour med center on the corner of Severn Road…text me back or call me when you get this. Okay, bye honey.”

Panicked, he rolled over to face Maisie, hoping she would’ve stirred, but she hadn’t. Eli was torn, but knew that as a mother to Lincoln and Frankie, she’d understand. He really hoped she’d understand. He gently kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and her cheek before sitting up again, wiping the sleep from his eyes and putting back on his pants and socks. Eli quietly padded over to her dresser where her planner sat open and ripped off a piece of an old page, grabbing the blue pen that sat in the brim and quickly scribbled out a note, leaving it on Maisie’s bedside table for her to read in the morning. Then, he took one more adoring look at her before heading home.

I didn’t want to wake you. Ma called. Sailor is sick and wants me home. Raincheck on the waffles & grilled cheese? PS - You look beautiful when you sleep. ❤ Eli

The next thing Maisie knew, her eyes were opening to a chilly bedroom. The sun had begun to rise and what was supposed to be a real sleep felt more like a nap. Her bedroom door was open, probably a sign that Eli was down stairs with the kids. She pulled a sweatshirt on, one of Cal’s, and threw her feet into a pair of slippers she kept by her bed before heading down stairs. But the living room was quiet. The kitchen was closed. There was no giggling. No laughter. No sign of children anywhere. No lights were on. The front door was unlocked. She checked the baby monitor she kept in Lincoln’s room, and he was still soundly asleep. It was only 6:34 when she checked on him. She ended up back up stairs and peeked into Francesca’s room. She was asleep on her back, in her brace with her thumb in her mouth and her other hand over her head.

Her heart sunk.

Maisie went back into her bedroom and found the note on her bedside table. She hadn’t noticed it before. Eli’s sloppy handwriting. She could barely read it. Sailor was sick. He wanted him home. Maisie cupped her hand over her mouth as she tried to hold back the tears she so badly wanted to cry. She couldn’t blame him. If Frankie or Link were sick, she would’ve left too. She just wished he had woken her up. Maisie crawled back into bed, pulled the covers up and over her head, and gave Cal a call. He answered. Of course he would answer. His voice was raspy and sleepy, like she had woken him up. “Hello?”

“Cal?” Maisie started crying.

“What’s up?”

She couldn’t tell him what really happened. She crumpled the note Eli had left and shoved it into the pocket of the hoodie she had on.

“I need you to come over.”

He didn’t ask why. And honestly, she wouldn’t have had a real answer for him. She was so tired she couldn’t even make something up. But he arrived, a fresh bouquet of flowers in hand, and ready to cuddle her and care for her children as if they were his own. As if they were theirs. Frankie ended up staying in her Paw Patrol nightgown all day and sat with Maisie in bed and watched movies while Cal and Link played and cooked. At the end of the night, Cal laid where Eli had been once. And Maisie offered the only explanation she could come up with, “I don’t know why my anxiety and PTSD was so bad today. I just couldn’t be a mom today.” That second part was true. She couldn’t have been. She just wanted to be a little girl. A little girl with a broken heart.

---

Maisie and Eli hadn’t spoken since that night. So when his name appeared on her phone while they were in the most beautiful place on earth, she was shocked. She read Link and Frankie the books they had picked to bring to Hawaii and waited until Cal was asleep before sneaking out of the beach house she was set to be in charge of. Hawaii days were hot, and the nights were warm, but there was an odd chill that night. The tide was out far, like it was about to storm, but there wasn’t a cloud in sight. The sky was big and you could just about see every star up there as there wasn’t a lot of light pollution on their side of the island.

Sand between her toes, Maisie walked down to where the water met the land and she took a few deep breaths. Her anxiety was eating her alive and she wanted to know what Eli had to say to her. She didn’t think she’d ever forgive him. She was angry at him. She was feeling more than just anger... it was almost rage. It made her feel out of control. Vengeful. She was feeling irrational and stubborn and chaotic. Destructive, even. She held it together pretty well, though.

She saw him walk down the beach. A hand through his own curly hair, and Maisie felt like she needed to wipe tears away from her cheeks already. She bit into her tongue to hold back from screaming and shouting and crying and breaking down completely. You can’t just have sex with someone who you know truly, madly, deeply cares about you and then just completely ditch. Completely ghost. But damn, didn’t he look good in the Hawaiian moonlight? Didn’t he look so damn fine with a tan and a little sunburn on his nose. His big t-shirt, his little shorts, his bare feet and strong hands.

“Hi,” Maisie was able to get out when he got to her side. “You wanna go for a walk?”

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