SHIT MY FRIENDS SAY PART 2
Some of the quotes from our shenanigans, carefully collected over the years. NSFW, cussing, and all that jazz. Feel free to change pronouns as you like!
“As soon as he started talking to me, I could feel my uterus shrivelling up.”
“We just got a bunch of 16-year-olds drunk.”
“I’m not gay or anything, but I would. I totally would.”
“Well, shit! That’s harder than the dick of a 14-year-old who just discovered Internet porn!”
“I don’t know who said that. Some politician. … Franz Beckenbauer.”
“Stop eating that éclair so suggestively.”
“Do they speak German in Austria?”
“Reading the IPA aloud just sounds like a trip to IKEA.”
“But you can’t actually fall past the Earth, can you?”
“That’s the national anthem. What do you mean by ‘I don’t know that song’?”
“No cage can hold my titties.”
“I just got asked for my ID for buying beer. Beer is legal at 16. How young do I look!?”
“Sometimes I go to IKEA to buy candy there because it’s cheaper than in a supermarket. But then I feel guilty and buy like, a lightbulb as an alibi. I currently have 17 lightbulbs I have no use for.”
“Hi, can you play ‘Die Motherfucker Die’? It’s me and my boyfriend’s song.”
“No, that’s not an allegory, it’s a fact.”
“I really like how you employed several distinct figures of speech when you yelled at those thugs.”
“The problem with France is that there are so many French people.”
“We should make a Rammstein cover band.”
“Why does he look like the drummer of a Gothic Metal band?”
“How did you go? The instructor just got up in the middle of the test and left the room, that’s how it went.”
“You’re about as funny as breaking your leg on the first day of the summer holidays!”
“You know I’d really like to come, but right now, I can’t even be arsed to come up with an excuse, so no.”
blakekathryn
jacobvanloon
pixelskylines
