JBB: An Artblog!
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almost home
Today's Document
Not today Justin
Kaledo Art
todays bird
Misplaced Lens Cap
Game of Thrones Daily
oozey mess
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
dirt enthusiast
occasionally subtle
🪼
blake kathryn
ellievsbear
i don't do bad sauce passes
RMH
if i look back, i am lost
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from Germany
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@maithitran
Wow let’s talk about this!
My last post was about a big decision that I felt uncertain about.. I decided to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years and look where it’s gotten me. I haven’t been sad/depressed since to need an outlet to write out my feelings. Yes I’ve had mental breakdowns but those were all school related and not life/friendship/relationships. Probably the next decision I made in 2019 since I didn’t even use/needed this account in 2020 WHEN THE WORLD WAS SHIT
First mental breakdown on the semester: check!
Feel uncertain about a big decision + pc2 final
i’m the happy person
Over the past couple weeks, I can feel myself grow and become more independent and am finally truly learning how to put myself first and feel good about it.
I cancel plans when I don’t want to go, so I can stay in bed and watch Netflix. I used have fomo, but I am over it. Why please when no one ever pleases you?
Tonight, a wave of anxiety showered over me and I can see my hands shake and feel the emptiness in my chest and being ready to cry at any point. I scrolled through some old post, and man was I depressed.. but here I am, I somehow magically made it. I don’t need a best friend. I don’t need anyone. I need myself. I need me to be me and trust in me. They really are not kidding when they are saying that self-love is the strongest and full-filling form. I feel bad sometimes when I hang out with other people and I can see them struggle. (I notice things - hence why I always say that ignorance is bliss). I was there and no one was there to help me and I somehow made it out, therefore I don’t feel the need to help other people when it comes to this. I have the mindset of “well I did it, you do it” when I really should give them a lending hand. The reason why I don’t is because my help is never appreciated and if so for just the moment. It is not full-filling to me, and I feel that they don’t learn. I pull them out of their misery and BAM they are back and looking at with with their puppy eyes to do it again. No, I am done. You must really think I am a really bad person right now, but at this point I choose what I will spend my energy on and what will just consume my energy with no reward.
Please don’t belittle me because I am younger. Age is just a number with no correlation to maturation. I am sick of people assuming things, and trying to give me “life lessons” when their life is as fucked up as it gets. Sorry, I don’t take advice from people whose life ain’t as put together as mine. May you be 26, 30, 50 for god’s sake.
So another quickie anxiety attack I handled myself with my breathing app.
Goodnight fellows, and see you on the next anxiety episode.
Fuck anxiety
wave of depri is back. hello old friend
“I don’t have anything to be depressed about”
via weheartit
08112018
First day of school and birthday anxiety are in fulll effect.
I always feel like I need a “best friend” that I will put first and s/he would put me first. But I’m so idealistic that my world shatters when reality can’t match it.
I feel like I have many good friends in many different friend circles but never enough to a primary fiend circle you know?
Goodnight!
You know when life has been so good to you, everything just starts shitting on you. Yup, that’s me.
Some days I just want to cry. All day. Just cause. Just to flush all my sadness out
from weheartit
