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[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 12 (2/2)

Naturally such a thought occurred to me as well , killing the Cyclops while still bound.But this was merely naive thinking.How could it be truly possible that this trial really had such an easy solution  not to mention the 3 hour time limit.Why would there even be a time limit if we could just kill him while restrained. "Forget about 3 hours ,let's finish this while he's bound who know we might even get bonus rewards for killing him so fast " One of the idiots with a big nose  started yelling adding more fuel to the fire , everyone's charging speed nearly doubling. While it's good to be so optimist have any of them even considered the worst case scenario?! What if the instant he's attacked the chains break . Are you all really that stupid ?!Are you trying to kill me you bastards?! Ahh good thing at least Elizabeth's head isn't just a decoration. She too didn't join the horde of lunatics , instead was watching attentively in front waiting for any sudden changes.Alicia too due to her small frame decided to sit back and watch what was happening. Having reached within 50 meters the archers stopped in their tracks , drawing their bows and preparing to fire. "STOP IT YOU IDIOTS"  I shout as hard as my lungs could muster ,I reckon it could even rival the old man's roar. Alas it was too late ,while 7 of them listened to my warning 3 more including the long haired idiot who endangered my life previously already let go of the arrow. Watching the arrows fly in the air I'm left hopeless. Please don't break  Please don't break Please don't break , Chain-sama is strong  you won't break from something like this right? Right? The arrows streaked through the air like a pair of triplets drawing a sharp curve aiming at his head, chest and thigh. Moments before the impact happened a translucent blue barrier erupted in front of the cyclops instantly deflecting the arrows. The old man's voice could be heard from above "Ahem , I've forgotten to tell you , while he's still chained a magical barrier will appear whenever an attack is launched against him deflecting both physical as well as magical damage.Also every time the shield is conjured it uses up a part of the energy left in the chains, you now have less than 13 minutes I hope you can use your remaining time more wisely "   Devil. This crafty old devil clearly knew that as soon as he left everyone was going to charge at the giant yet he conveniently 'forgot' to inform us of the magic shield. I can imagine the old man smirking through that disgustingly long beard of his , laughing at the foolishness of inferior beings to him.Oh how funny we must appear to him. It must be no different than being in a zoo for him , staring at the stupid animals making a mess of themselves. Instantly despair took over scene , the gaze filled with hope  when looking toward the Cyclops reverted back to terror and fright.The smiles all transformed in grim expressions.All the laughter died down together with it  .The place became akin to a graveyard and if nothing would soon be done the instant those chains break it will truly be one. Some even raged against and shouted aloud "God damn it ! Can't we catch a break? Why do we have to fight that monster ?! Why do we have to take this trial? *sob* I just want to go home." Just like a damn that exploded as soon as his voice died down countless sobs could be heard , cries for help some even began crying for their parents . Pathetic. One of the less shaken people tried rallying everyone up "Don't despair yet people , we still have a chance , if we all attack him the moment he breaks free maybe we can defeat him , after all we have magical items as well as a powerful mage!" Foolish , you really believe your shitty longswords and weapons can cause actual damage to that guy? His skin must be more solid than concrete and his muscles could be compared to steel , no that's wrong, STEEL could be compared to his muscles. While i can see how Ponytail could do some damage with her magic looking at the size of the thing it can't be nearly enough.With no tactics and no plans simply fighting him is suicide. Ugh,  while it's good that he somewhat revived the atmosphere what he's suggesting is the same as encouraging 50 people to jump from a 100 meter cliff with him. Alright it's finally time to act , i've let this circus run long enough. "To those of you who wish to die feel free to listen to that guy , however if any of you still wish to live then come and listen to my plan"

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 12(1/2) Like monkeys in a zoo

As time passed the Cyclop's struggle became increasingly fierce ,the chains emitting more and more creaking sounds."Worry not , those chains contain part of my magic ,after i leave  for the following 15 minutes he won't be able to break through them no matter how hard he fights back.However after the time passes the magic inside them will expire and the chain won't last more than a couple of seconds against his rage.""Well then , this  will be the end of my explanations , to pass this trial you must slay that monster within 3 hours of time.Dying before it's slain or failure to do so will result in a failure regardless of damage dealt." Pointing to the wall behind me a beam of light was released 10 meters above.Out of nowhere blue numbers could bee seen. [3:00:00]"This is the timer letting you know how much time left of this trial is remaining ,with this i wish you all good luck , may fortune smile upon you all "Having ended his words the old man disappeared with a *Pop* sound leaving behind only a trail of white mist.The numbers also started moving[2:59:59]Hearing his last words all of a sudden the atmosphere turned jovial .While there were a few remaining warriors dissatisfied with the item allocation  everyone was showing hopeful expressions .A few smiling or even laughing completely forgetting the predicament they were in."Haha can't get out for 15 minutes , doesn't that mean that he'll be our sandbag" A tall muscular man with a scar on his face exclaimed while patting his long sword"Yeah all of a sudden this trial doesn't look too hard  , to think i was so scared just before" replied a short skinny man in a scout outfit."We all have been granted such strong equipment , forget about one Cyclops even 100 of them can't stand a chance" The tall archer who said this was obviously going in over his head but noone could rebut him , instead they just started laughing together with him."Alright everyone let's go , time is of importance " One of the warriors with a serious expression instructed the rest thus beginning their charge.Elation and Greed could be read across everyone's faces thinking they could slay the giant while he's still bound by the magic chains. Everyone charging towards him to mount their assault . Do all you retards imagine you are David , slaying the Goliath?!

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 10 : Between a monster and the ponytail girl i don't know which is scarier

While i was worrying about my life a ball of light appeared in the middle of the field then with a resounding 'BOOM' the old man appeared again. Alright all these people can put David Coperfield to shame , if they start their own show I'd bet they could sell out in less than 10 seconds. Ahh i should give my thanks to him , miss pony tail over here finally ceased staring daggers at me  . "Ahem, i know you may be confused as to what is happening as such i will try to explain as simple as possible the contents of this trial, I'll have all 50 of you battle the creature i shall summon " Saying that the old fogey raised his arm and another ball of light floated in the site opposite to where we were. Seriously more light balls , is this really the only thing the old man can do? well let's see what will come out of it , it better not be some rabbit . After the light ball fell down and the creature was revealed i almost wanted to swallow back my words. Why couldn't it be a cute bunny with floppy ears. Why did it have to be a 20+ meters one eyed giant. Is this the infamous Cyclops , no wait this is not important . WHY do we have to fight that thing ?! just one flick and it can probably massacre everyone in here.Ahh luckily it's bound by a pair of huge blue chains otherwise we'd long be wiped out by now.Could you please do another trick and make him into a 50 cm cuddly  bunny ? I wouldn’t mind one bit Judging from the shocks of fright and terror around me  it seems that I'm not the only one thinking that. "How do you expect us to fight that?! " "it will just stomp us to death!" "AHHH i should have just taken the risk free option" "I changed my mind i don't want to take this trial anymore send me back" All sorts of such shouts permeated the air unfortunately for them there is no such thing as a pill that eliminates regret. Amidst all this only mine and the pony girl's expression remained unchanged, her calm atmosphere unperturbed . Seriously just what has she been through to remain unfazed at such a sight , is she some sort of robot? a cyborg?!  I can only maintain such a calm front   on the outside due to my acting skills but inside i am in a complete turmoil, but she has a chilly aura around her as if nothing could ever shatter her mental state. As for the little priest girl rather than having a terror stricken face  as you would expect of a child her age instead she  had a curios expression her green eyes expanding showing great interest towards the cyclops. "Silence" the old man roared loudly for the second time bringing an end to the cries for help. I can't help but worry for his lungs at this point , it's not good for the elderly such as him to raise their voice so high. Ah but then again i do hate him for daring to toy with my life  so please shout , shout as much as you please,shout until your lungs burst  , shout until blood spurts from your mouth and drown in it. OK that was a bit too much. "The being in front of you is called a cyclops ,naturally it is a high level being capable of reigning chaos wherever it goes.Worry not as this is a trial his capabilities are greatly toned down , it has barely one percent of his actual strength.That being said it is still highly dangerous  , just 2 swings of his arms are more than enough to inflict massive damage to those with the [Warrior] profession, while just a swing can easily cripple [Scouts] and [Archers]. As for the [Mage],[Priest] and those of you who have not chosen a job due to not possessing defensive capabilities just one hit is more than enough to end your lives"  As he said the last words i could feel him glaring at me. Somehow his glare was less scary than Miss pony tail. Seriously just how scary is that girl.  

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 9: Pretty lady please don’t kill me

Leaving the confines of the dark tunnel i am greeted by the blazing sunlight.Having been confined in the void of Purgatory and the dark tunnel it takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the light. After my eyes stopped hurting  i could finally take a look around my surroundings.It seems that contrary to my expectations i am not alone, together with me there should be 40-50 people with different attires and weapons , some holding longswords other shorstwords and the rest clutching onto a bow the one common point to them was that  all were  looking very confused. Looking around i spot  a small girl in a white robe standing out , she has to be the the girl assigned the [Priest] job.She was holding nervously onto her gold staff which towers above her looking confused as to where this place is. Weird ,shouldn't she have been here for quite some time already? I'm sure more than half an hour passed since she entered the black door herself. "Could the tunnel i passed  have a different time flow or perhaps they are connected to each other and only let us out when a certain number was reached or maybe even both?" i mutter slowly while displaying a slight grin "Well isn't this just interesting" Keeping mind of my observation  I continue inspecting my surroundings  , roughly 10 meters away from me there seems to be another girl in a strange outfit with a dark wood rod in her delicate hands.She was quite tall for a woman standing at roughly 170cm with long silky black hair tied in a ponytail.The girl appeared to be about 17 years her body looking developed with fine curves and a pair of healthy twin perks. She had a black shrug resembling that of the old granny Camillia with several lines forming different patterns on it . She wore something of a combination between a jacket and a dark blue vest with holes around her arms allowing me to see her smooth skin .The outfit was paired with a black frilly skirt up till her lower thigh with more different decorations and complex patterns. Since her clothes differed from the [Priest] i can only conclude she's a [Mage] , however before my turn came there hasn't been any mage except for the blond guy.Come to think of it i didn't see him around , hmm it seem my conjucture was true. Her face was  one of extreme beauty not losing in the slightest to the small girl from before. It was as if it was  crafted by the finest artists with no blemishes,her small short nose sitting proudly , her cheeks blushing a deep red and her almond eyes as sharp as knives staring back at me. Wait. Upon sensing my gaze upon her the girl must have thought i had unpure thoughts about her and began glaring at me . I heard about the "death stare" or  how one can release "killing intent" merely with their eyes and believed it to be just a bunch of hogwash but now i might have to reconsider. It felt as if something was keeping me bound in place unable to move even a single muscle while countless sharp objects were pointed at me  at the same in every direction  ready to strike at a moment's notice. S-Scary ,I don't think I've ever experienced something so terrifying so far . Just what could have this girl went through in her life to posses such a deadly gaze. "I-" BRRRRRR Before i could explain to the girl that my interest in her had been merely academic a loud rumble interrupted followed by a small earthquake , all of a sudden from a couple of meters away from me  a wall as tall as an 8 story building erected out of the ground   and began expending rapidly entrapping us within it in a round shape. From one side to another it looked like it would be at least 80-90 meters.It was as if we were trapped in the Colosseum arena. "what the hell is happening" "weren't we supposed to take a trial ? what's with this wall" countless such shouts rang out from the surroundings from the panic stricken people around. However the scariest thing is that during this whole affair the pony girl did not lift her gaze from me one bit  , if anything it amplified by several folds. Oy oy isn't this setting dangerous,there are 50 people stuck into an arena with no way out and I'm receiving a "death stare" from an unknown girl. I barely took a step forward but it looks like my path ahead won't be an easy one.

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 8: Abnegation

Finally my number got called , as i advanced through the crowd of people swirling in my head were all sorts of negative thoughts and memories i tried locking up, all of a sudden it doesn't sound so bad to lose all memories. I can hear in my head the words of my former teachers in middle school "Richard is such a gifted young man I'm sure you will make an excellent priest" to my parents repeating endlessly "Richard you must become a doctor", "Richard you are my son, you are also much smarter than me when i was your age that is why you must succeed me and the hospital" then after having finally broken free from the high school . "You must become a good doctor and director, i have spoken to my old colleague and have enrolled you into his class at the university of Manchester, you must do well and graduate then you can accomplish your dream and succeed me." Ever since i can remember there has been someone behind me trying to control me and make me act according to their wishes. When i was younger i would try to rebel but i then realized that the harder i struggled the more they persisted never giving up as such i learned to pretend , to fake it making it seem as if I'm going according to their wishes. I became quite good at it, being able to know how to act with anyone ,giving them what they wanted so i could escape from their pestering or accomplish my goals.However this led to me developing a rather unsavory personality,i became unable to believe in other people’s words for their face value.While i wouldn’t say i became a psychopath it was just that i became unable to look at another person without believing they demanded a certain thing from me whether they made it known or not.  My relation with my parents became just "they are my parents" not feeling any particular emotion towards them, hmm now that i think about it i guess it's not an entirely ordinary relationship is it. While i was in deep though i had finally arrived in front of the stone.The three men were staring attentively at me while the witch was still humming and feeling happy there was at least one mage in this  group sparing merely one glance at me before returning to her hum.I even caught a glimpse of Zotar who was staring at me with a peculiar expression and a certain expectation. Hmph. Well too bad because you will all be disappointed. "Heh" with a loud snort i turn my back and start moving, however not towards the stone but rather the doors made of light. Seeing my actions the 3 revealed an upset  expression,the old man started shaking his head  while Griff started lashing out his usual insults , Delvon muttered something in his own tongue , not that i care anyway. The old granny simply couldn't care less.Even Zotar had a look of disbelief and disappointment. Well for now just hang on tight because it's not over yet. Contrary to their expectations i did not go into the door of light , instead i chose the dark one . I have decided, i shall not let anyone try to control me instead i will be the one controlling them as such i refuse their [Jobs] i refuse their systems ,i refuse their appraisal and i refuse being stuck in their world as such i will fight , with this i declare war on them and promise i shall have everyone who dares to control me ever again grovel at my feet through  one way or another . As i made my way forward into the door of black light i stole a glance at  the three's expression as they changed deeply changed into one of shock. Griff almost busted a blood vessel shouting  "THIS CRAZY BASTARD WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!" while Delvon remained with his mouth open so wide you could catch fireflies with it . Even the old man was shocked to his core , his eyes almost popping from his eye sockets.Even the witch who hadn't even paid attention before to me  also had a look of disbelief and incredulity. Ignoring their current states i continue moving forward  only hearing Zotar laughing loudly. Figures, that disgusting fellow is probably  the only one who could laugh at such a sight. After entering the black door it was like a tunnel ,not knowing what to to i started walking forward ,it felt as if i had been walking for days with no end in sight. Finally after what seemed like an eternity the tunnel showed signs of ending a bright light shining ahead.

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 7: The appearance of the loli Priest

More numbers started being called again.The count finally reached 300 , it would soon be my turn.Fewer people took the trial following the blond mage , instead they would just step on the stone and after being assessed a warrior or scout they'd  take the white light, barely 30 people went into the black door following the mage.Seeing this Griff and Delvon were fuming with rage, Griff even started shouting out obscenities at the back of those choosing the white light. "C'mon you spineless bastards show some guts", "How long are you gonna suck on your mothers breasts". The old man couldn't help but frown at the situation. The whole thing was beginning to look worse and worse.The other people were also getting more  anxious as time passed.The loud ones got quieted instantly by the old giant with a swipe of his hand ,knocking them tens of meters.Probably the only one enjoying this whole situation was Zotar , despite doing my best to ignore him from my line of sight i still caught glimpses of him smiling and laughing at the way things were developing. The count continued to progress , finally as number 323 got called something strange happened. A small blonde girl with long flowing hair who looked to be about 10 years old got called up to the stone. She wore a blue dress that seemed to be too big for herself reaching all the way to her feet.Her face was one of extreme pure beauty , you could just imagine in 10 years of time the amount of hearts she would steal.   No , no the unexpected thing wasn't her , it was the stone she stepped on ,it stopped on another unusual light .It radiated a  pure whiteness as if to match the young girl . Seeing this the old giant wrinkles frowned and said aloud: "Hmm this is weird , i had not expected that anyone would be suited for the [Priest] job as it's one that is mostly assigned to those born in the world , regardless, come here young girl let me bestow the [Job] for you" The petite girl bowed respectfully and moved forward to the old man, he then raised his hands as a white light surrounded the girl. Following which the girls attire changed ,instead of her blue dress it was replaced with a white robe with two black stripes one horizontal while the other vertical forming a cross .    Huh it seems even in a different world the cross is an object of worship.The girl then bowed once more to the old man not saying a single word then headed towards the two doors.She spent a long time staring at the two doors in front of her , even Griff who would yell and swear if someone took more than 5 seconds was unable to raise his voice at the angelic girl as if scared she might shatter the instant his voice came out.As such this complete silence lasted an entire 10 minutes. Finally the girl nodded to herself having made a decision and went inside the black door.Seeing this everyone received a shock staring at the courage the young girl had . Griff once again started throwing around insults "Pathetic , even a little child has more guts than the cowards before" at his words no one around could launch a rebuttal. Even i have to praise her courage and determination to step into the black light and face unknown dangers. In the end with a cough the old man resumed calling numbers,20 minutes later my turn finally came up "Would the person with the number 387 please step forward"

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 6:A small stone can cause a  big impact

The first person was eventually called out , he looked like a bald middle aged man as he timidly made his way to the stone,once upon it the stone started emitting all sorts of lights just like a rainbow.After a couple more seconds the lights came to a stop at the red color.Seeing this Griff's expression underwent a change , he actually started smiling and gesturing for him to come close. "Gratz old man you are qualified to be a warrior , move over here so i can give you the [Warrior] job" The bald man moved slowly towards him afterwards Griff raised his hand as a red flash of light shined upon the old man from within his hand.Are all you people so obsessed over light shows.There were visible changes on baldy also . Most notably his entire attire changed ,he was now wearing a chain mall just like Griff and a pair of chain greaves , at his side was a longsword.This Griff should quit this whole instructor business and try becoming a magician , he sure has talent. The newly promoted warrior then looked towards the giant as if to seek approval, seeing this the old man frowned. "What are you waiting for? Go on make your choice ." The old man in robes bellowed toward the bald middle aged man. Afterwards he slowly made his in front of the two doors , taking one last glance behind him at the old man glaring at him for keeping everyone waiting for him he stepped into the white light. Seeing this Griff's expression changed once again muttering "Ungrateful bastard" following by slamming the counter with his fist releasing visible cracks. Just like that one by one numbers were being called.Most went ahead and stepped on the stone being assigned their [Jobs]. After the hundredth number got called there had been 50 [Warriors] ,20 [Scouts] and 15 [Archers], so far it seems that red means [warrior] green [scout] and yellow [Archer]. Scouts received a cloth armor and leather pants and boots coupled with a short-sword and a dagger while archers received a similar attire made entirely of cloth together with a quiver filled with arrow together with a bow.There weren’t many differences in design between males and females the outfits looking similar .Whenever their profession was being called the instructors would break in a grin, of course whenever they chose to enter the light door they would stare at their backs as if they murdered their entire families.In total only 28 warriors 12 scouts and 10 archers decided to enter the black door.There were of course 15 more people who just went into the light door without stepping on the stone.Meanwhile there had yet to be a single mage , the old witch looked as if she could die of boredom anytime having a pitiful expression as if saying 'why was i even called here'. Finally after the 150th number something unexpected occurred . The stone exhibited a new color ,blue. Seeing this the old witch's eyes almost popped out of her eye sockets her whole face doing a complete 180   "Come come here child let me bestow your job" Said the granny in the most soothing voice she could muster , it still sounded hoarse and ugly no matter how much she tried . The one with the 150th number was a blond Caucasian man in his 20's standing at 1.9 m wearing a sweatsuit.He looked to be well built , must've been someone from the northern parts of Europe. He approached the witch carefully afterwards a blue light shone upon him.Feeling the change happening inside him he couldn't help exclaim "I’m gonna become the best freeze mage in the world HA HAA" he then strutted towards the black door .Most of the people looked at him with envy,jealousy wishing it had been them in his stead.Cursing his good luck and hoped they too could acquire  the rare [Mage] job.

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 5:  The Repulsive Pupeteers

The giant's words once again shook the masses , looks of disbelief,contempt and even mockery all around. There were even some with frenzied and excited expressions , most of them were young teens who must've been intoxicated at the thought of being a knight in shiny armor rescuing princesses from evil dragons. "Pitiful fools" i can't help but mutter slowly. Seeing the old man move his hand once more the clamor instantly died down, following his movements another light ball made it's way to the far right of the counter ,passing by Camilla.Unlike the previous times the light ball did not fall down and disperse , rather  it remained floating in mid air and started to rapidly expand.It started to resemble something close to a door,  a door of light, then out of the sudden near it another door formed this time out of darkness as if they were twins .The strange thing was that despite it being black it could still be distinctly seen in this place. "As i said , before you will move on to the next world you shall first face a trial ,should you pass it you may keep the memories of your former world and this encounter as well as your body and job and be transported immediately in a city at random.Of course this is not the only reward for having passed the trial the rest will be revealed at the time .However, should you fail you will lose both your memory as well as your body having to reincarnate as the offspring of random beings in this world.You can also chose not to take this trial and walk into the white door, however it will be deemed as a failure obviously,but you can chose to reincarnate as the offspring of any being you wish." As expected mass hysteria occurs , those with looks of excitement earlier now exhibited looks of fear,well they were not the only ones most had the same expression.The few idiots in between started yelling "Who do you think you are to command me like that ,don't you know who i am" "We don't want your test or your world just send us back" Ugh annoying , i try to ignore these fools and think about his words. Hmm so to my understanding  we don't get these [Jobs] for free , they are merely loaned to us for this test of his not to mention if we fail it not only do we lose it but we also lose our memories and may not be reincarnated as a human anymore. This is ...quite scary.So what should i do...normally i'd chose  to reincarnate as a being of my choice , that way i can gain information of this world as well as gain a background depending the household of the people you are born to.However the disadvantages of this option is losing not only your body but also your memories, while i don't mind losing my body that much losing my memories is equal to dying,no even worse it equals to being erased from existence.Even if the "soul" were to be the same how can i regard the person without my memories to be me . I can't accept that.There's another thing that disgusts me in this whole freak show, how these "beings" suddenly judged us as "hopeless" and now toy with our lives and souls as they see fit like we are nothing more than puppets for them to command around.Ugh just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. While i was struggling to keep my dinner from spilling out the disgusting old man started spewing more crap "I shall now  begin to call you one by one, If you would look on the palm of your right hand you will find a number , when your number is called step forward. "You are not allowed to come within 15 meters of us unless  your number was called , to those who don't respect this they shall be pushed aside by a surge of wind until they stop advancing."

“If you wish to take the trial then step onto the stone to be assessed and receive your job , you can only receive the job which was called .If you pass the trial you can choose another job later on at your discretion should you find the opportunity and meet the requirements.If you do not wish to participate in the trial simply go into the white light when you are called you also do not have to determine your job as it will be irrelevant.". Hah, so we can't even chose our own strings this is truly making me detest this whole affair.Bearing my feelings of revulsion i look at my right palm , numbers start to appear '387'

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 4: We’re getting jobs ?!

The old man harrumphed loudly ending the chatter of the freeloaders, yes I'm still calling them that. "Ahem, as you can expect the lives you shall be bestowed upon will not be in the worlds you were former in." Wait, worlds? WHY THE PLURAL?! Do you mean like different universes and dimensions and such?   "This world is one of magic , of extraordinary beings you heard only in legends and tales, unlike the worlds from whence you came humans are not the only intelligent race to build a civilization.There are elves fairies dwarves half-humans and many more.The inhabitants of these worlds face constant dangers every day from the surrounding monsters as well as the beings of destruction called demons"   At his words the surrounding people could not help but gasp in shock.Most people believed this was some sort of joke and were still denying it , some started panicking praying to whatever religion they believed in while others still believed this was just a dream .I'd like to believe I am a part of them.A few even began lashing out cringe worthy threats "Hey do you even know who you are talking to , I'll have you and everyone you know be sent off to Mexico",another man in a suit said "I'm the director of an important trading company I'll make sure you'll never get a job in your life"another punk started spewing "My brother is the boss of the local gang if you still wish to live you better to let me out, while you're at it give me everything you got". Ahh  Amazing how oblivious and stupid some people could be. "SILENCE" the old man bellowed out with such force even I was close to having a heart attack. Instantly the atmosphere died out and the place became akin to a library. "As I was saying the beings in this world face death and peril every day , to survive in this environment they adapted and developed extraordinary powers themselves. By absorbing the energy of this world they became able to gain power beyond their normal capabilities" "The residents of this world thus improved their battle capabilities and separated them in [Jobs], the four basic ones are [Warrior] [Scout] [Archer] and the rare [Mage] , while everyone can become any of the first three  the chances of becoming a mage are less than one in a thousand as one's body requires to have both a magical energy source in their body as well as magical circuits. "  Alright it's clear this old man escaped from the mental asylum and collected people from the circus freaks, first talking about different universes and dimensions now about elves goblins and jobs and even magic circuits. MAGIC CIRCUITS. Ignoring my inner monologue the old man suddenly raised his hand , a blinding flash erupted from it and landed on the ground in front of him, in it's place stood a 3 meters wide rectangular stone.   "This is the stone of judgment, you will all take turns stepping on it to asses your potential and personality as well as current strength then it will determine the [Job] suited for you.   So it's basically like that talking hat in Parry Hotter.I wonder, if I were to  ask it nicely would it send me back. "To help you accommodate to this world I have gathered the 3 greatest instructors of the basic [Jobs] to have ever lived : "Red Wall" Griff  the warrior instructor , "Silent shadow" Delvon the scout and archer instructor , "Violet Flame" Camilla Le Rouge shall be the mage instructor. After  being assessed by the stone they will bestow upon you the [Job]."

[majehfuntimez]

Chpater 3: Meeting Zorat once more

With a resounding "Screech" a white ball of light the size of a fist "fell" from above and was slowly descending from the empty void above.Unsurprisingly it brought the attention of the masses, immediately people scattered in the direction of it's descent. After landing it produced a blinding flash of light lasting a couple of seconds as well as a powerful wind blast pushing everyone back tens of meters.Luckily i hadn't advanced too far  so i wasn't caught in the blast but the flash of light still affected me. It was akin to having a flash bang explode right in front of you ,i seriously  thought i had gone blind when it didn't stop , when this whole affair is done i must remember to ask compensation for my eyes. In the place where the ball of light landed something unexpected arose, an incredibly tall old man stood behind a massive counter together with two other men and an old granny.The old man stood at an impressive 3 meter height , it might be fitting to call him a giant.He was dressed in a long luxurious white robe with gold patterns adoring it all around .His eyes exerting a strange deepness in them. On his face were countless visible wrinkles due to his age as well as a gigantic beard . I am around 1.8m tall and yet this old giant's beard was as tall as me ,if not taller.Guess they don't have barbers from where he comes. The other two men were seated to his left and right while the granny was seated further apart from the rest.The one to his left was a giant as well , not as much as the old man however he too stood at a frightening 2.5 m height with short red hair.He looked more like one of those MMA fighters his muscles bulging out of his chain mail. ..........wait why is he wearing a chain mall......i feel like i don't want to know , yep gonna ignore it.His expression was one of irritation along with several scars on his face making a scary aura overall ,he's definitely someone you would not wish to encounter in a dark alleyway. The one on his right, although not a giant was just as peculiar as the rest. He stood at 1.9 meters with long flowing gold hair.Seeing his facial features he could easily be mistaken as a female.The strangest thing were his elongated ears looking just like those elves from fantasy ta......wait....why is there an elf here?! ....I'm just gonna pretend he's just someone with a physical deformity, yep poor guy.He was wearing a simple cloth and leather outfit looking very light.He exhibited an arrogant air around him and looked as if he's annoyed being here not even acknowledging the curious gazes directed at him from the surrounding people. The granny looked like one of those witches with a pointy head and white hair. When compared to the old giant she was akin to a midget with a height of only 150cm . She wore a velvet shrug over a dark purple robe . It wouldn't look out of place if she had a black cat circling around her and a crystal ball in hands.She had an expression of pure boredom ,i should know since i have it all the time. While i was examining the four of them i caught glimpse of someone further behind them , had i not looked closely i doubt i would've seen him. A black man in a flashy red suit and a repulsive grin on his face. "Zorat". As i was staring at him he suddenly turned his head towards me as if he could pinpoint where i was in this sea of people.As his eyes locked into mine his grin grew even larger. Blargh  I was about to puke being stared at by this disgusting man.

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 2: Can i get a pillow in purgatory?

' I  $#%*@$ died?! ' I seem to not be the only one thinking this as mass hysteria erupts among the former freeloaders. WowWowWow let's just back up a bit this is going too fast for me.  let's try to see what's the latest memory i can muster , in movies ghosts usually don't remember their former lives properly especially their last moments. Hmm let's see my name is Richard Duke , 20 years old . Born and raised in Manchester , son of Mary Anne Duke and Gerard Duke . My relation with my parents could be described as slightly  ordinary . I attended the St Bede's College in Manchester , a roman catholic school near Alexandra park . Luckily I managed to avoid the brainwashing that occurs in such institutions ,although i don't really hold it against them it had caused me some difficulties in finding peers to associate without feeling like blowing my brains . After graduation i enrolled into Manchester university and moved out of my house in a flat near Hulme park.Yesterday i remember enjoying my winter vacation to my fullest doing absolutely nothing, sleeping and relaxing.In the evening i even managed to break out of my sleep routine to read a few chapters of  Jules Verne's "The Mysterious Island" before I fell asleep once again. It would seem i died in my sleep huh,a fitting end if i may say so. But it's strange to die in my sleep considering i had no prior illness or diseases of sort. During my sleep however i do remember a certain dream , a man dressed in flashy clothes came up to me and asked me "You who are bored of your life and live it no different from a dead person ,  do you wish to find real excitement to alleviate your boredom?" to which i answered plainly " As long as i can sleep i don't really give a damn" to which the man simply grinned .... AHH i see i guess i should stop being so straightforward to annoying people huh, they seem to get the wrong idea.Going through my memories it would seem that the strange dream i had before could be the cause of it as surreal as it may sound. "I am the god Mexel,all of you gathered here have answered the call of Zorat " The voice of Mexel finally speaks again. Zorat huh must be the guy i met in my dream , hope i don't have to meet him again. "You were all selected among your peers as those with no desire to live, in helpless situations with your back against the wall. You all are truly pitiful humans as such we have taken your former life " Hey hey isn't this a bit too harsh , while i may not be the greatest pro life activist right here  saying i got no desire to live and killing me outright is a bit too much.But it's not too far from the truth either i suppose. The voice continues his statement "In exchange for your former life you shall receive a new one , one which i hope you shall treasure " Yeah , no  can i please get back to my sleep , i wonder if i can sleep here.

[majehfuntimez]

I know this is sudden but i became a demon lord

Alright plictiseala mea a ajuns la noi culmi asa ca voi posta web novels de acum incolo

Volume I

Chapter 1 : This is a dream so...can anyone please tell my why I can't wake up from it?!

A strange voice beckons to me "Are you tired of living?" before i completely lose sense of my self

"Ugh" I groan aloud as if something hit my head forcing me awake and causing me to open my eyes .Surrounding me for as far as my eyes can see are people. A LOT of people all grouped up together.Most of them appear just as confused as I am.If looked from above we look just like one of those pictures with a bunch of frenzied shoppers preparing to assault a mall on Black Friday.Well unfortunately for us there is no mall surrounding us , nor even streetlights with only darkness all around.The strange thing is even if the surrounding are absent of light i can still see clearly around me. Could this be a Kidnapping? Ah but why are there so many people around surely they can't all be kidnappers from how confused everyone is.Have we all been kidnapped? but who could kidnap so many people at the same time ..aliens?...it couldn't be right?... Let's just shelf this for later and start considering the other options as to why else could i be here? 'Have i been sleepwalking?' Despite no prior occurrences I've read about how sometimes stress could lead to that  ,but even so how far would I have to walk to reach such a remote place with no lights around it.Furthermore it doesn't explain the hundreds of people who are sharing the same predicament as I do unless they were sleep walking too.....and  just so happened to arrive at the same place as I did.....yep, impossible, next option. 'Hmm could this be one of those lucid dreams i heard about , ahh but then why are all these people here' Well since i became conscious of it then maybe i can manipulate it 'Heheheh this just like Inception' . Now time to get rid of these annoyances and maybe change the setting a bit, it's a bit too dark for my tastes . 'Shoo. Shoo get out of my dreams you bunch of freeloaders go find your own dreams' ............Huh...That Didn't quite ..... work. I concentrate and try again but other than giving myself a minor headache nothing of sort happened. Huh..WAIT wasn't I supposed to NOT feel pain inside a dream? Ah but then again maybe headaches don't count and I could just be imagining them.Yep that's totally what's happening.   While I was giving myself imaginary headaches trying to figure how to run this show the freeloaders started a commotion ,panicking and shouting things such as "where am I?" "what is this place?" "who are you people?" were thrown about. Some of the more rowdy one even started swinging punches,luckily I wasn't near them.Still  I must say that  I'm impressed with my subconscious to create such realistic AI.There are even different nationalities,despite this I can still clearly understand what each and every one of them is saying. Yep this clearly means only one thing , this is a dream,it's definitely a dream.Please be a dream.Please. "Greeting all ye lost souls,all 500 of you stand before the purgatory" A somber voice heard from above instantly shattered the delusion I was clinging ever so desperately.Rest in piece mental sanity , I shall never forget thou. My mental sanity aside  the voice did mention "500" and "purgatory" that must be how many we are and the place we are in , but wait,  purgatory according to Christian religion the place where people go after they are dead to face a trial then be sent to either hell or heaven?.....Why am i here then?............Can i please wake up now?I'd really REALLY like to wake up now . Can I get the kick now? Leo? D?...

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter V : Sarutarea

Previously on Battle-Star:Galactica, Laviniu castiga duelul cu vrajitorul si imbarcheaza catre taramurile platini pentru a il gasii pe vrajitorul verde posesorul curent al borcanului adevarului . Dadum(reduceri de buget,FeelsBadMan).

Pentru a ajunge in taramurile platini eroul nostru trebuia sa treaca prin trecatoarea Muierii , aici spiritele femeilor virgine salasluiesc pretrecandu-si timpul lamentadu-si viata si torturand trecatorii. Ricardowise a auzit zvonurile despre acest loc blestemat si i-a sugerat lui Laviniu sa ocoleasca acesta primejdie.”Fantome virgine vor sa ne atace si sa ne violeze? nu vad partea rea” exclama Laviniu .”Ai gresii daca ai crede ca sunt femei virgine obisnuite , doar femeile care au fost refuzate toata viata apar in trecatoare iar cand dau de un mascul nu o sa ii dea drumul pana acesta va muri,te rog razgandeste-te mai sunt atea drumuri precum podisul pierzaniei ,scapatoarea iadului , curcubeul fericit,disneyland” implora RicardoWise. “Imi pare rau Ricardowise dar nu ne putem permite sa irosim timp , trecatoarea Muierii ne scuteste de 2 minute de mers , nu avem de ales”. La auzirea acestor cuvinte intreaga piele a lui RicardoWise se facu de gaina , caci in intelepciunea lui stia ca ceva necurat se va intampla.

Ajunsi in fata trecatorii, ce se extindea pe aproape de 169 de metrii exact,Laviniu spune determinat “Acum ori niciodata,croieste-ti alta soarta La care sa se-nchine si cruda  ta SataIoana.” , “SI crudul de Borca~~an” acompandiand vocal Pokallum si RicardoWise.

Cei trei companioni pornesc la drum , nici dupa 20 de metrii Fantomele Virginelor se intruchipeaza in spatele lui Ricardowise intindandu-si mainile ne-epilate spre el . Din fata  Laviniu si Pokallum erau gankati de inca 2 fantome virgine “Precious Virginity Pokallum doesn’t give Virginity to stinking ghosts , Pokallum keeps virginity for money money money money...”

RicardoWise se uita in ochii lui Laviniu , dupa atata timp petrecut impreuna a fost formata o conectiune intre cei doi , puteau comunica fara a isi vorbii , Laviniu da din cap aprobator il apuca pe Pokallum si o ia la sanatoasa strigand “Mersi ca te sacrifici RicardoWise , Nu te voi uita niciodata” La auzirea acestor cuvinte Ricardowise ramane stupefiat “WAIT WHAT” in timp ce este apucat de catre fantome si tarat doamne stie unde blestemand “VROIAM SA ITI SPUN CA AI CEVA PE FATA “

Scapand din trecatoare nevatamat Laviniu se uite in urma “Un prieten adevarat , a murit pentru noi , acum trebuie neaparat sa luam acel borcan” . “INCA NU SUNT MORT PUTETI VENII SA MA AJUTATI” striga un Ricardowise in timp ce e asaltat de fantome.”Ce om , ce caracter dispus sa isi arunce viata pentru noi” exclama Pokallum . “CINE ISI ARUNCA VIATA PENTRU TINE , MISCA AICI SI SCOATE-MA DIN IMBULZEALA ASTA” . Laviniu si pokallum continua la drum ,Ricardowise avand un loc special in inimile lor pentru cele 5 minute cat isi vor mai aminti de el.Din trecatoare inca se pot auzi blesteme si strigate “NEVER FKIN LUCKY” , “AM SA TI-O PLATESC LAVINIU SI TIE POKALLUM , VOI SCRIE O NUVELA UNDE VA VOI UMILI , HA HA-HA HA HA-HA-HA-HA

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter IV Noaptea

Din episoadele anterioare : Laviniu skywalker afla ca fiorosul Darth Petru este TATAL SAU dar asta nu este cel mai rau lucru , asta inseamna ca Laviniu este si el un....EVREU. DADADADAM DADADADUM DADAM (Efecte speciale de 2.99,scump domne scump inflatia asta) . Laviniu este tormentat de crudul adevar si simte cum anii de propaganda evreasca il converteste , ispita banilor incepe sa ii dea tarcoale  si incepe sa isi numere toti datornici si sa le calculeze dobanda . Coplesit de atata zgarcenie Laviniu refuza sa mai faca cinste iar balanta Cinstei in univers sta pe cale sa se spulbere.

Acum sa revenim la adevarata poveste : Eroul nostru si cei 2 companioni ai sai afla de la marele oracol al kfc-ului ca trebuie sa se indrepte spre campurile platini si sa caute vrajitorul verde , GandRaf.Insa inainte sa plece acesta ii cere lui Laviniu sa ii plateasca datoriile de la kfc. Laviniu stia ca nici o suma de bani din lume n-ar fi deajuns pentru datoriile pe care le-a strans oracolul asa ca se pregateste de o lupta crancena si dureroasa.......care s-a terminat cum Laviniu l-a plesnit pe Razvan ,cel din urma incepand sa planga ca o fetita.

Terminandusi treburi in diamordor acestia se demodeaza catre plat pentru a il gasii pe Gandraf . Pe parcursul drumului Laviniu se opreste brusc uitanduse spre cer intreband “De ce trebuie sa fac toate tampenile astea cand pot doar sa ii spun Ioanei ca nu o plac?” vazand disperarea din ochii clownului RicardoWise exclama “De unde sa stiu , nu eu sunt autorul , acum misca sau il pun pe pokallum pe tine “ , acesta din urma spunand “MONEYYY MONEYYY PRECIOUS MONEYYY POKALUM LIKES MONEYYY” . Eroul nostru nu are de ales decat sa ofteze incet ,din distanta se poate auzi un “ AI NOROC CA AVEAM ROBA PE MINE” venind dinspre locatia oracolului

[majehfuntimez]

Chapter 3

 Din Episoadele anterioare :Laviniu parcurge un drum initiatic plin de peripetii spre mordor unde oracolul kfcului,Razvan ii va spune locatia BORCANULUI DADADAM DADADUMMM (efecte speciale de 1.99 lei).Pe parcursul drumului laviniu intalneste multe aventuri si multi companioni dar noua nu ne pasa asa ca trecem mai departe.

Acum:

Laviniu se afla fata in fata cu MARELE Razvan in urma sa fiind RicardoWise Gamshee cel care l a carat pana in dia...Mordor si pokallum cel ce dorea borcanul pentru scopurile sale necurate ..la  propriu tipi nu s a mai spalat de pe timpu lui Hitler in taberele de concentratie ,viata de evreu l a transformat intr o fiinta hidoasa obsedata de bani si borcane. Marele oracol ii spune lui Sir Laviniu "am stiut ca vei venii aici si stiu si ce cauti, totul a fost prezis de marele sos de usturoi" "Grasimea voastra spunetimi ce ati vazut in sos,unde e borcanul" "Acesta nu e un borcan obisnuit,este THE ONE BORCAN,creat de maleficul vrajitor Ciuguron pentru a stapanii tot azerothul si buricul pamantului." "NU BURICUL PAMANTULUI" exclama Frodo si Sam......waaait wrong story people "Ehem,sa revenim"spune grasanul "Borcanul se afla momentan in posesia vrajitorului verde,Gandraf.Din fericire pentru azeroth-" "SI BURICUL PAMANTULUI" exclama cei 2 hobiti "EHEM, din fericire pentru azeroth SI BURICUL PAMANTULUI(Fro...Laviniu si Ricardowise dau din cap aprovator) vrajitoul e asa de stoned in cat nu realizeaza puterea borcanului si il foloseste doar ca loc de depozitare pentru iarba.

“Acum sa vorbim de plata , TU HOBBITULE IMI VEI PLATII DATORIA LA KFC” Spune Oracolul aratand cu degetul spre eroul nostru , nu , nu Ricardowise  ,nu are wise in nume degeaba s-a asteptat la asta si a plecat dinainte .Laviniu este fortat ca de obicei sa achite nota la kfc dar acesta observa ca nu mai are nici un ban .La vederea acestora oracolul se infuriaza o batalie epica pregatinduse intre oracol si FROVINIU 

To be continued

[majehfuntimez]

Capitolul 2 "Noi inceputuri"

La un an de la internarea lui laviniu la dezalcolizare acesta este eliberat din celula si pus in libertate conditionata , singura bautura admisa fiind capi de piersica si/sau  teddy. In sechestr..pardon internare Beatvi...pardon Laviniu nu a avut acces la lumea de afara partial din cauza orelor de tortu.....orelor de sedinta de grup.....(cu fier incins) ((laviniu are acum mai multe tatuaje ca o ...vaca).El era nerabdator sa afle ce ii mai fac prietenii ce l au aruncat,pardon trimis la dezalcolizare.La aflarea vestii ca Ioana si Borcan nu mai sunt un cuplu Laviniu simte un fior....un fior de 2^69 mai rece ca moartea...si frigideru.El stia ca zilele ii sunt numarate , era doar ...a matter of time pana cand Sata....Ioana avea sa il caute si sa ii puna virginitatea in pericol . Laviniu cere ajutorul celor mai buni prieteni ai sai...degetul mare si sobolanului din cusca.Din pacate nici acestia nu dorea sa vorbeasca cu el(DUH) asa ca se duce la si singura persoana ce ar putea oprii furia/dragostea istericii.BORCAN. Laviniu pleaca in cautarea borcanului of truth, caci cel ce stapaneste borcanul stapaneste insusi universul .Dadadam DADADUM(efecte dramatice de 1.99 lei). Eroul nostru sir Beatviniu il cauta pe borcan in toate locurile posibile, in debara,in frigider pana si pe rafturi dar fara succes.in timp ce contempla renuntarea cautarii ..sii daca a fost o idee buna sa manancd guma ce a gasit o lipita pe raft  ,Laviniu afla de un oracol, ce ii va dpune unde se afla "Borcanul Adevarului" trademark pls no copy pasterino. La aflarea questului lui Laviniu, Ricardowise Gamshee decide sa il acompanieze pe Frod...Laviniu Baggins catre ..MORDOR unde se afla oracolul KFCULUI.

[majehfuntimez]

Ioana

De ricardo rebreanu

Prefata:

Aceste evenimente au fost inspirate din viata reala.

                                          Capitolul I

Adaptare moderna ,ioana ,un dwarf din tinuturile azerothului se indragosteste de laviniu(Ana) un om foarte ghinionist.Dar Ioana avea o pasiune mai mare ca dragostea pt laviniu, jocurile de telefon.Asa ca profita de sentimentele lui Tudor Borcan acesta confesand dragostea pentru ioana mai devreme.Ioana se cupleaza cu borcan pt  a-i accesa jocurile de pe telefon. Planul ioanei ar fi reusit de n ar fi inceput...APOCALIPSA DE PLANTE ZOMBII SAMURAI MANCATOARE DE DEGETE DE MAINI..SI PICIOARE Umanitatea era in pericol ,dar mai ales jocurile de telefon,in fond fara degete cum am mai putea juca?cu limba?(ioana era prea ocupata sa dea limba lui borcan ca sa o foloseasca" Simtandu si cariera de jucatoare profesionala de snake Ioana se inarmeaza cu cea mai puternica arma cunoscuta de om ...NOKIA 1630. Cruciada condusa de Ioana a fost plina de peripetii, dar cui ii pasa.

In ziua bataliei finale eroina este informata ca dragostea ei Shitviniu se ...drogheaza cu pudra de talc.La aflarea vestilor ioana se duce full 9/11 pe PLANTELE ZOMBII SAMURAI MANCATOARE DE DEGETE DE MAINI..SI PICIOARE .... , din pacate plantele au fost distruse dar ioana inca statea in picioare , lumea inca va avea de suferit , iar singuru care ne poate salva de acest monstru este DADADAM DADADUM LAVINIUMAN.

  TO BE CONTINUED

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