Chapter 8: Abnegation
Finally my number got called , as i advanced through the crowd of people swirling in my head were all sorts of negative thoughts and memories i tried locking up, all of a sudden it doesn't sound so bad to lose all memories. I can hear in my head the words of my former teachers in middle school "Richard is such a gifted young man I'm sure you will make an excellent priest" to my parents repeating endlessly "Richard you must become a doctor", "Richard you are my son, you are also much smarter than me when i was your age that is why you must succeed me and the hospital" then after having finally broken free from the high school . "You must become a good doctor and director, i have spoken to my old colleague and have enrolled you into his class at the university of Manchester, you must do well and graduate then you can accomplish your dream and succeed me." Ever since i can remember there has been someone behind me trying to control me and make me act according to their wishes. When i was younger i would try to rebel but i then realized that the harder i struggled the more they persisted never giving up as such i learned to pretend , to fake it making it seem as if I'm going according to their wishes. I became quite good at it, being able to know how to act with anyone ,giving them what they wanted so i could escape from their pestering or accomplish my goals.However this led to me developing a rather unsavory personality,i became unable to believe in other people’s words for their face value.While i wouldn’t say i became a psychopath it was just that i became unable to look at another person without believing they demanded a certain thing from me whether they made it known or not. My relation with my parents became just "they are my parents" not feeling any particular emotion towards them, hmm now that i think about it i guess it's not an entirely ordinary relationship is it. While i was in deep though i had finally arrived in front of the stone.The three men were staring attentively at me while the witch was still humming and feeling happy there was at least one mage in this group sparing merely one glance at me before returning to her hum.I even caught a glimpse of Zotar who was staring at me with a peculiar expression and a certain expectation. Hmph. Well too bad because you will all be disappointed. "Heh" with a loud snort i turn my back and start moving, however not towards the stone but rather the doors made of light. Seeing my actions the 3 revealed an upset expression,the old man started shaking his head while Griff started lashing out his usual insults , Delvon muttered something in his own tongue , not that i care anyway. The old granny simply couldn't care less.Even Zotar had a look of disbelief and disappointment. Well for now just hang on tight because it's not over yet. Contrary to their expectations i did not go into the door of light , instead i chose the dark one . I have decided, i shall not let anyone try to control me instead i will be the one controlling them as such i refuse their [Jobs] i refuse their systems ,i refuse their appraisal and i refuse being stuck in their world as such i will fight , with this i declare war on them and promise i shall have everyone who dares to control me ever again grovel at my feet through one way or another . As i made my way forward into the door of black light i stole a glance at the three's expression as they changed deeply changed into one of shock. Griff almost busted a blood vessel shouting "THIS CRAZY BASTARD WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!" while Delvon remained with his mouth open so wide you could catch fireflies with it . Even the old man was shocked to his core , his eyes almost popping from his eye sockets.Even the witch who hadn't even paid attention before to me also had a look of disbelief and incredulity. Ignoring their current states i continue moving forward only hearing Zotar laughing loudly. Figures, that disgusting fellow is probably the only one who could laugh at such a sight. After entering the black door it was like a tunnel ,not knowing what to to i started walking forward ,it felt as if i had been walking for days with no end in sight. Finally after what seemed like an eternity the tunnel showed signs of ending a bright light shining ahead.