Majordomo Marvin

24. wholesome memes

[oneman-wolfpackk]

I know you’re tired bitch but keep fucking going

[peacelovesexandbliss]

[tootiepatoot]

[outofcontextbonappetit]

[outofcontextbonappetit]

[docholligay]

Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.

MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY

That aside.

 I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome. 

1) Canned chicken and beef 

looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins. 

2) Fancy nut butters

Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)

3) Canned or packaged tuna

You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend. 

4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like) 

Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry. 

5) Shelf-stable juice

This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives. 

[kesonafyren]

But seriously, give money

And it’s way better food, too, anything you get prepackaged has A TON of sugar and/or salt in it…collecting cans may be more exciting than writing a check, but if the point is to help people, the check is going to get a lot more done

[pennie-dreadful]

Yoooooo heads up for those of you with kids, I know this time of year schools start holding canned food drives so keep this in mind if you’re able to give.

[kyraneko]

collecting cans may be more exciting than writing a check, but if the point is to help people, the check is going to get a lot more done .

hint: the point should be to help people.

[imfemalewarrior]

Also keep in mind that food banks cannot give out expired food, and most people use canned food drives as an excuse to unload stuff close to or past the due date. 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

[neutralfleur]

me: [softly] for fuck’s sake

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[ftcreature]

Children, this is dirt. 

 dirt?dirt?  dirt?dirt? dirt?dirt? dirt?  dirt?    dirt? dirt?    dirt? 

[wild-west-wind]

A geology field trip

[dankmemeuniversity]

[irlpigmon-deactivated20200117]

this is godzilla in prayer. reblog to join the king of the monsters in his entreaties to heaven.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[5nkc7hdrl-deactivated20180324]

[cr-familiar-faces]

Windex isn’t carbonated 

[cr-familiar-faces]

[killin-the-machine]

The use of the princess bride implies that they’re both windex

[pinsir]

it also implies that op developed immunity to windex

[teathattast]

windy

[imaloser90skid]

Those horses were gettin’ the fuck outta there.

[mordecaiandtherigbys76-deactiva]

The horses blew it up

[funkyness]

minimalism is dead adopt the goblin way of life. fill your house with pebbles and shinnies.

[captainesc]

[funkyness]

BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE 32 ROCKS I FOUND ON THE STREET SPARK JOY MRS MARIE KONDO

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

[stream]

Predator (1987) | dir. John McTiernan

[7-aliens]

[wilwheaton]

(via That’s a whole new way of patriotism 🔥 : MurderedByWords)

[savagelyrandom-deactivated20221]

When you first post your art:

When you do an “evening reblog” because nobody liked or reblogged it: