Speed Of Darkness

I jumped in front of the bullet meant for me. I've no interest in saving anyone but myself.

[thenatsdorf]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[immaplatypus]

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

[waynekiller]

bruh my little brother got a scratch and he was all crying and i was like “oh do you want one of the bandaids i use for my shots? they have cute emojis on them” and through his tears he goes “that’s cringe” IM DEAD

[waynekiller]

[unbossed-deactivated20251218]

[sailorcuba]

why is the sims so addictive but only for a short amount of time??? like all u do is play the sims u don’t sleep u don’t eat it’s like you’re on drugs for around two days and then forget about it for the next whole year

[tasmanianstripes]

God creating Adam and Eve then fucking off for the rest of the eternity like

[soapulp-deactivated20200310]

not evil anymore i want to be loved now

[soapulp-deactivated20200310]

evil again

[coughloop]

Time stamps are the gift that keeps on giving

[dawnofslime]

I am a peddler of chubby cat pics

[digital-phonetics]

Pray. Show me your wares

[dawnofslime]

[the-memedaddy]

Meirl

[castlewyvern]

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

[tanou123]

💚

[typhlonectes]

Gerenuk, a species of longnecked antelope from Africa, are known for their unusual feeding style.

[dostoyevsky-official]

in this country no one is above the law

[banshee-neet]

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

peeling a clementine is so easy. it comes so naturally. its inviting… the clementine WANTS to be peeled. its melancholic, sanguine… but an orange? whats an orange but a nuisance… the orange torments and mocks with its brute strength. it exists only to create chaos. next time you decide to indulge in a citrus delight, heed my word. choose the clementine 

[elfzelda]

NOOOOO

[thebootydiaries]

first donut pic, feeling kinda shy please be kind

[dadsquart]

wouldn’t it be insane if you took a picture of your foot squished down into the middle of the donut, covered in frosting and sprinkles, with frosting squishing out btween ur toes lmao could you iamgine 

unless........

[thebootydiaries]

huh

[thebootydiaries]

me:

white person at bus stop:

me:

them:

me:

them:

me: why did u colonize my people

[yourladyindank]

They didn’t, they work at Home Depot and have never left their state

[thotpatroleum-deactivated202211]

Me: *looks at a German Millenial: “why did you kill so many people during the Holocaust?”

See how stupid you sound, OP?

[thebootydiaries]

well are u gonna answer my question or not . Why did u do it

[catchymemes]

[injuries-in-dust]

I’m gonna guess that they aren’t normally allowed to sit on the furniture.

[doubleca5t]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

guy inspecting my bag at the airport: hmm, this bag is full of stupid garbage… looks like the owner is a dumb shitass too. arrested.