First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness.
E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself.
VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth.
SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test.
BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily.
BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.
AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.
STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.
SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.
DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor.
KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority.
OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day.
BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret.
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