Making Caring Common

Making Caring Common (MCC), a project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, helps educators, parents, and communities raise children who are caring, responsible to their communities, and committed to justice. www.makingcaringcommon.org

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5 Ways to Celebrate National Service Day!

National Service Day is on Monday, January 16th and what better way to celebrate than to give back to your community. Check out our suggestions below.

1) Volunteer at a local organization Non-profit organizations are always looking for volunteers and the possibilities are endless. Check out these websites where you can simply enter where you’re located, what you care about, and your time commitment and plenty of organizations and opportunities pop up – DoSomething.org, AllForGood.org, VolunteerMatch.org

2) Organize a local park clean up Gather a group of friends and dedicate a Saturday morning to cleaning up a local park. Put flyers up a few days in advance with contact information as a way to recruit others to join and meet new people.

3) Become a tutor Remember that time you needed an extra boost understanding algebra? Give back, and help a student who's now in your shoes.

4) Become a mentor Mentoring has proven to be very valuable to our youth. It really helps when they see people who look like them and come from the same background become successful. There are plenty of local programs seeking young professionals like you to help guide students to success. A quick Google search will help you find the perfect program.

5) Join a non-profit board You’d be surprised by how many non-profits are looking for the skill set and perspective you can bring to the table. It's also a great way to build your network and gain leadership skills, and you never know who you'll end up working with.

Have other ideas? Post them to our Facebook page and Tweet us @MCCHarvardEd!

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MCC co-hosts H.E.A.R. Bullying Prevention Training

Earlier this month, MCC co-hosted the H.E.A.R. (Helping Everyone Achieve Respect) bullying prevention training for members of the Army National Guard who traveled to the HGSE campus from across the country.

H.E.A.R. is a proactive, research-based bullying prevention initiative that seeks to affect the views and behavior of high school students. Developed by Making Caring Common, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, Career Training Concepts, and administered by members of the U.S. National Guard, H.E.A.R. informs and educates today’s high school students on the fundamental principles of respectful behavior.

Presentations included topics such as an “Overview of Today’s Landscape of Bullying” as well as “Facilitation and Strategies Around Tackling Mysogyny” by H.E.A.R. directors Jeff Musumeche and Amy Smith, Making Caring Common’s Rick Weissbourd and Trisha Ross Anderson, and bullying prevention expert and University of Nebraska professor Sue Swearer, who is also the Research Advisory Chair at the Born This Way Foundation.

Since its launch in 2013, H.E.A.R has trained up to 320 U.S. National Guard soldiers and has a proven track record of reducing and preventing bullying across 47 states and territories. According to data compiled from a HEAR student survey:

90% of students feel H.E.A.R. helps them understand what bullying is and why people bully others.

88% feel H.E.A.R. gives them useful ideas for what to do if they witness bullying.

89% report H.E.A.R.’s presentations influenced their commitment to respecting and including others.

To learn more about H.E.A.R. and to find out how to bring the program to your school, visit project-hear.us. You can also learn more about MCC’s bullying prevention strategies here.

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7 tips for navigating post-election conversations over the holidays

Throughout the holiday season, many of us will spend time with family and loved ones who may not share our social and political views. Last month, Making Caring Common hosted a Facebook Live chat to answer your questions about how to navigate the difficult conversations that may arise at the dinner table. Here are seven key takeaways from our chat:

Even if someone disagrees with you, take the time to listen with respect.

Show that you care. Don’t let your differences get in the way of showing family and friends that you care for each other.

Be empathetic. Search for common ground and try to admit your own flaws.

Remember that people have different beliefs and priorities. While it’s important to stay true to your own principles, it’s also important to engage others with different perspectives.

It’s okay not to engage. It’s okay not to attend events with those who may be combative or confrontational. If you do want to attend, talk to the person organizing the event and see if he or she can set an expectation for respectful dialogue at the dinner table.

Prioritize self-care. Create a balance around watching the news. Know when to tune in and tune out.

If children are around, be thoughtful about how they may perceive a disagreement. While kids can learn from some family disagreements, it’s important that these conversations remain respectful. 

Click here to watch our full Facebook Live video.

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#GivingTuesday!

#GivingTuesday is a great reminder that giving is about more than giving to family and friends; it's also about giving back to our communities and the organizations and people who work to make our world more caring and just. There many ways to support a mission, issue, or organization you love. Here are a few ideas:

Giving with time: Most non-profits and community organizations need volunteers. Support your favorite organization by asking them how you might contribute to their good work—even if they don’t have a formal volunteer program in place. Don’t forget to mention any special skills you have, such as fundraising knowledge, technology expertise, or fluency in a second language—you may have just the skills they need to move the work ahead!

Giving with money: For those who want to support a great organization, but don’t have time, consider making a monetary donation. Donations from individuals are critical to the success of many organizations, and gifts in any amount are always appreciated.

Paying it forward: Many organizations are looking for people to spread their message or engage with them on projects related to their mission. For example, consider inviting friends or family to join the organization’s Facebook page, follow the organization on Twitter, or join their mailing list. If you are recipient of an organization’s service or are otherwise involved with program activities, consider filling out an online poll, sharing a testimony about the impact of their work, or by completing feedback questionnaires.

How will you give today? 

- Making Caring Common Team

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Calling all students, parents, and educators!

We’re looking for organizations (big or small, local or national) that work with young people on high-quality, meaningful community service to potentially feature in an upcoming resource. We’d love to hear your stories about your own service organizations or the experiences of the service-minded young people in your life.

We’d especially like to know:

What type of service work did you do? 

What did this organization do to make the service impactful and meaningful? How did the organization facilitate a high quality service experience for you?

What was the name and location/state of the organization?

Is there anyone in particular we should contact there?

We are especially interested in organizations that offer opportunities for sustained service over time (6+ months), that help young people take on community challenges, support volunteers with mentorship or training, and/or help students have meaningful experiences in diverse groups.

Comment here or email [email protected]. 

Thank you!

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Our work moving forward

Like many of you, we at Making Caring Common (MCC) have been thinking deeply and critically about our work, our priorities, and about how we can best serve our profoundly divided country going forward.

Our mission at MCC is to help educators, parents, and communities raise children who are caring, responsible to their communities, and committed to justice. These three pillars—caring for others, responsibility for communities, and justice—are equally central to our work. We believe that these pillars are the building blocks of healthy relationships in our homes and schools and of strong, vibrant, and inclusive communities.

Yet realizing our mission often means navigating conflicting values. The call to care for and understand others—especially those with whom one disagrees—can seem superficial when the safety of families and communities is uncertain. Any healthy democracy requires respecting diverse political views, yet the expression of certain views can collide with respect for others.

One central aspect of our work going forward is thus helping parents and teachers navigate these conflicts both for themselves and for the children in their care. It is critically important that we help our children develop the strength and skills to combat racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of discrimination. It is also vitally important that we teach our children to listen to others' views respectfully and with decency, resisting the urge to demonize and dehumanize. We need to help our children undertake the complicated task of both listening respectfully and seeking to understand others, and vigorously challenging views that disrespect and degrade. And we need to undertake this complicated task ourselves.

“For all of us, there is work to be done in our own families, schools, and communities, the work of teaching our children to truly care for others, to respect those who are different from them in background, economic status, sex, race and religion, and to learn to talk with those with whom they—sometimes profoundly—disagree.”

Some, right now, are understandably not ready to reach out or move forward. Others may be ready to listen. Others may be ready to take action to protect those who are vulnerable and to fight discrimination in all its forms. Still others—and we hope this group grows over time—will be ready to both fight discrimination and reach across the aisle.

For all of us, there is work to be done in our own families, schools, and communities, the work of teaching our children to truly care for others, to respect those who are different from them in background, economic status, sex, race and religion, and to learn to talk with those with whom they—sometimes profoundly—disagree.

This is the hard and humbling daily work of building a culture in which mutual respect and acting in the interest of the common good are the norm. And as parents and educators—as Americans—it offers a clear path forward for shaping a just future for our children and our country.

On our website you can find resources for raising caring, respectful children. We hope these resources will be helpful to you. We also hope that you will join this conversation by adding your name to our mailing list and following Making Caring Common on Facebook and Twitter.

With respect and all our best, The Making Caring Common team

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Making Caring Common is thrilled to announce our 2nd Annual Youth Advisory Board!

We’re thrilled to announce the members of our second annual Youth Advisory Board (YAB)! The YAB will help us explore some of the most pressing issues facing their generation and advise us on our strategies for engaging young people, parents, and educators. Our hope is that members of the YAB will help inspire their peers to build a culture of caring in their schools and communities.

Our 2016-17 Youth Advisory Board includes:

●  Alan McCullough Jr, Jacksonville, Florida

●  Alexandra Ruckman, Summersville, West Virginia

●  Andrew Diodato, Somerville, New Jersey

●  Andrew Schoonover, Olathe, Kansas

●  Anna Kizito, Acton, Massachusetts

●  Ariana Siddiq, Riverside, California

●  Atiriya Saxena, Lutz, Florida

●  Brianna Taylor, Locust Valley, New York

●  Caroline Slack, Traverse City, Michigan

●  Drew Stone, Groton, Massachusetts

●  Emma Bowe-Shulman, Acton, Massachusetts

●  Jasman Singh, Hightstown, New Jersey

●  Katie Wong, Belmont, California

●  Lily Horton, Los Angeles, California

●  Luis Gramajo, Katy, Texas

●  Mía Melendez, West Chester, Pennsylvania

●  Micky Cox, Southborough, Massachusetts

●  Morgan Guess, Paducah, Kentucky

●  Nadya Khan, Piscataway, New Jersey

●  Ricky Yoo, Suwanee, Georgia

●  Riley Gantt, Los Angeles, California

●  Samia Ali, Seattle, Washington

●  Shreyas Parab, Claymont, Delaware

●  Sophia Carter, Hamilton, Massachusetts

●  Sophie Bernstein, St. Louis, Missouri

●  Tesean Toole Jr., Boston, Massachusetts

These 26 members are a diverse group, representing district, charter, and independent schools from around the United States. They have a wide range of experiences and backgrounds, including peer mediators, service leaders, non-profit founders, athletes, and journalists. They all demonstrate a commitment and dedication to making their schools and communities more caring and respectful. We're honored to be working with them this year.

To stay up to date with the YAB, follow Making Caring Common on Facebook and Twitter #MCCYoungLeaders.

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School Spotlight: High Tech LA

HTLA is building a safer, more supportive school community through strong leadership and a clear student voice

As a veteran member of Making Caring Common’s Caring Schools Initiative (CSI), High Tech LA (HTLA), an independent public charter high school located in Van Nuys, California, has developed key strategies and interventions that have helped build a safer and more supportive school community. Essential to their success has been a strong leadership team and the role of student voice.

School counselor Nikki Bender and principal Marsha Rybin have worked closely alongside other staff members to prioritize their commitment to cultivating a caring and supportive community for staff and students. Through action planning, they identified opportunities for students and staff to work together to build empathy, strengthen relationships, and provide support within the school. Students have also had a tremendous impact on their efforts. The faculty nominated students from each grade level to be on the school climate committee, a group that meets monthly to create goals and brainstorm effective solutions. These conversations have been highly valuable to HTLA and enable them to have open discussions about how student and staff interpretations may differ at times. Check out MCC’s School Climate Committee Strategy Guide for ideas on starting your own student-led committee.

Here are HTLA’s tips for successful action planning:

Encourage teacher buy-in, especially during the implementation phase of the action plan.

Avoid censoring topics in front of the students, which can make the atmosphere more relaxed for students and faculty.

Create small goals that can be accomplished throughout your action plan.

Develop a 5 or 10 year action plan rather than only an immediate plan in order to have long term goals in place that are attainable.

Provide information and introduce topics thoughtfully to committees and others by encouraging discussions rather than providing presentations.

Student voice is key! Leverage their knowledge and perspectives in your work.

Great job HTLA! Thanks for sharing.

Learn more about MCC’s Caring Schools Initiative here →

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College Admissions: What Do Students Think?

By Jennifer Kahn

As part of her work with Making Caring Common’s Caring Schools Initiative (CSI), Jennifer Kahn recently checked in with students at three different Los Angeles high schools about their thoughts on college admissions. Here’s what she learned.

The pressure to do more builds from near and far. Students feel the weight of college admissions in every decision they make, from what classes to take to how to spend their weekends. And while pressure may come from parents, teachers, and counselors, students frequently report other key sources of pressure—including themselves, peers, and often people they don’t even know. As one student said, “I have no idea what people [across the country] are doing; I want to do everything I possibly can to give myself an edge.”

Students want a more transparent admissions process. Students are always trying to figure out what colleges are looking for and how decisions are made. And as they strive to make themselves more attractive to colleges, the unknown is both stressful and frustrating. Students talk to their peers and perpetuate myths about how applications are reviewed—whether or not personal statements are read at all, how two seemingly identical candidates can be distinguished, and worries that the Common Application oversimplifies their applications.

Paying for college is more stressful than getting in for many students. While there may be many scholarships available, college is still very expensive and is difficult for many to afford. In addition, many students have a hard time finding the right scholarships, meeting the requirements, and obtaining the financial aid they need to make attending college possible.

Students are often opting out of important and interesting classes in order to boost their GPAs and make their applications more competitive. One student told me that he was planning to follow the AP Biology course he had already taken with another Biology course on a more specific topic, but was advised against this because the course was not AP level.  He ended up in an AP Chemistry course, which was not as interesting to him. Students at another school shared that many are opting out of classes like Race and Society, Philosophy, and Journalism, because ultimately they need to take classes that will help their GPA and these classes did not.

Many students are trying to find the “best fit” school, but it’s not always easy. Some students report feeling stigmatized for wanting to go to lower ranked schools or community colleges even though they feel like these schools fit their personal needs both in terms of finances and career aspirations. Others felt that there wasn’t good support for students who didn’t necessarily feel like college was the right place for them or who were disengaged from school, particularly in states where vocational education is not available.

Read more about Making Caring Common’s campaign to reshape college admissions--including our Turning the Tide report--at makingcaringcommon.org/collegeadmissions.

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School Spotlight: Carrollwood Day School

CDS has developed innovative strategies to foster a caring and inclusive school community.

Above: CDS students produced a video asking how students would build connections in their school. Watch the full video here →

Staff and students at Carrollwood Day School (CDS), a preK-12 independent school in Tampa, FL, have been hard at work as they continue to promote a caring school community. We are pleased to share with you some of the innovative strategies and activities that we learned from CDS as they continue their work as part of Making Caring Common’s Caring Schools Initiative (CSI).

Empower Students. At CDS, students play a key role translating data into action. With the support of the guidance and counseling department, students have been facilitating focus groups to talk about the survey questions and students’ responses. These conversations empower students as key stakeholders in their school community and lay the groundwork for students and staff to work together on initiatives in support of strengthening school climate. For more ideas on student-led school climate initiatives, check out our School Climate Committee Strategy Guide. 

Ask Questions. CDS also promotes a caring school climate through their What Would You Do (WWYD) campaign, an activity that challenges students to build awareness for others’ perspectives while also encouraging collaboration. During homeroom, students ask each other questions, such as, “What would you do to build/make connections?” or, “What would you do to start a chain reaction of kindness?” Students record each other’s responses and then discuss their ideas together. The Student Advisory Board then combines all of the recorded responses into one longer video that is shared with the larger school community during an assembly. This is a great way to build relationships, practice perspective taking, generate ideas, and engage in community building. Cultivate Kindness. Challenge your students to be kind. This is exactly what CDS does through its Kindness Challenge. This is how it works: Teachers or counselors write down random actions of kindness on notecards or Post-its and tape them to their doors with the writing facing inward. Students then select a random card as their act of kindness to complete. Some examples CDS used include making cookies and dropping them off at a fire station, donating old towels to a vet, saying good morning to 15 people, and reading to a younger student. The students enjoyed this project so much that they went through 1,000 note cards in 3.5 days! These are just a few ideas and strategies that have led to tremendous results at CDS. Give one of these ideas a try or share one of your own! Learn more about MCC’s Caring Schools Initiative here →

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#YouthChoices wrap up!

For the last few weeks, we’ve been listening to young people share their #YouthChoices to highlight the ethical dilemmas they face every day. These dilemmas have pointed to the challenges of making an ethical choice when confronted with competing priorities, obligations, or consequences.  

We’ve heard situations that ask tough questions about when and how to speak up in the face of sexism, racism, ableism, and homophobia.  Stories have been shared about cheating, social contracts, cutting class, and whether to stand up to adults at school.

Search the hashtag on Twitter and Instagram to see more posts, photos, and videos shared by our community.  

Much gratitude goes to our Youth Advisory Board for their leadership in spearheading this project.  Stay tuned to see what they’re up to next!

Many thanks also go to all who engaged with these complicated situations, who offered suggestions for the way forward, and who are committed to listening to young people.

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Success over sanity

Post by Valerie Weisler, 2015-2016 YAB Member

“Valerie, the Dean will be right with you.” The receptionist types away at her computer. I nod and look down. My feet are sore from walking miles in my way-too-small flats. My blazer suffocates me as I pull it on for my interview. I glaze over my resume and rehearse my speech in my head.

The next hour goes by like the hours all high school seniors know too well. I explain my hardships, happiness, my honors courses and my extra-curriculars. The dean and I laugh about a joke that wasn’t that funny and make small talk about the weather. We shake hands and exchange business cards. I walk out of the building, pull off my blazer and slip on my converse shoes. My mother is asleep in the car; this is my 8th interview of the day. Every college has blurred into a combination of brick buildings and course booklets.

I go home and it begins again like clockwork. The Common App has become my only friend - I mean, who else do I have time to talk to when I have 18 college essays to write, 5 more interviews to prepare for and 5 high school courses to keep up with? I wake up every morning and remind myself that this is what I need to do. It’s what every high school student needs to do. I remind myself that in a few months, it’ll all be worth it.

My generation is trained to trade our sanity for society’s vision of success. We wake up each morning ready to learn - no, scratch that. We wake up each morning ready to push ourselves until it’s 3am and we’re crying at our computers because we need to make our GPA higher, make our transcript better, make our letter of recommendation longer. Learning has been replaced with ‘making it’. And so, we give up our sanity. I’ve waved goodbye to dinner dates with my friends, phone calls with my relatives, TV time with my family. We are taught to strip ourselves of all that keeps us sane in exchange for success. We go to college to get that dream job and that dream job supports the family we finally have. It’s a never-ending circle of the world telling us, “One day, it’ll be worth it,” until we’ve done everything we were told to do and nothing we wanted to. The pressure for the perfect Facebook status with ‘Dream College Class Of 2020!’ taunts me and every other high school senior.

As January rolled around, the questions started.

“So, what are you doing next year?”

“Where are you going to college?”

“What’s your plan?”

The first few times, I did the generic answer. I listed my top choices and smiled. But then I started to be honest. I told them how many hours it took me to write a college essay that had the right amount of ‘I Am Unique’ but not too much ‘This Is A Cliche Story You Have Heard A Million Times’. I told them how tired I was of pretending to be somebody I wasn’t. I told them how exhausting and self-esteem lowering it is to take the SAT 3 times, memorizing words I never heard. I thought they would laugh or walk away. But to my surprise, everyone I spoke to felt the same way. My mom told me about the crazy process she went through. My best friend broke down and cried about her last interview. My teacher laughed out loud and told me what a relief it was to hear a kid be honest.

And now, as I wait utterly impatiently for the envelope telling me I got in, I am at ease. So I’m going to tell you what it took me too long to learn; you are not the school you go to. You are not your GPA or your SAT score. You are so much more.

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Youth Advisory Board Member, Andrew, shares an ethical dilemma as part of the #YouthChoices project.  Listen to him describe the decision he struggled with.  What would you do in this situation?

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MCC Youth Advisory Board member, Lizbeth, shares an ethical dilemma. Listen to how she describes the multiple perspectives in the situation.  How would you make a decision?

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The #YouthChoices project

Ethical dilemmas are everywhere.  Let’s talk about them!

Young people are confronted with ethical dilemmas every day.  An ethical dilemma is a situation that presents a choice between competing priorities, loyalties, or consequences.  Ethical dilemmas challenge one’s beliefs, obligations, and commitments.

There are no easy or simple solutions to these scenarios.  And there are no right or wrong answers to the questions they raise.  People respond differently and their responses are shaped by their surroundings—family, school, community, culture.

The #YouthChoices project is about lifting up these situations; not rushing to respond, and not jumping to judgment.  #YouthChoices challenges us to imagine being faced with an ethical choice and asks us to (re)consider what we might do and why.

We invite young people to share their stories about the ethical choices in their lives.  

Join the conversation today!

Here’s how you can participate:

1. Follow along!  

We’ll be featuring #YouthChoices posts via Making Caring Common’s Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and FaceBook pages.  Like, comment, and share posts!

2. Add your voice! 

Tweet, post, and gram about the #YouthChoices in your life.  Be sure to check out suggestions and guidelines for posts here.  Tag @MCCHarvardEd so we can count you in our weekly challenges!  

3. Pass it on!  

Tell your friends about #YouthChoices.  Encourage them to join the conversation by tagging them and challenging them to share a post!

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Turning the Tide in college admissions

MCC’s new report sparked a national dialogue about college admissions.

Making Caring Common, in collaboration with the Education Conservancy and more than 60 admissions deans across the country, recently released a report that sparked a national dialogue about college admissions. 

Turning the Tide: Inspiring Concern for Others and the Common Good through College Admissions marks the first time in history that a broad coalition of college admissions offices have joined forces to collectively encourage high school students to focus on meaningful ethical and intellectual engagement.

The report includes concrete recommendations to reshape the college admissions process to focus on these goals and promote greater ethical engagement among aspiring students. It is the first step in a two-year campaign that seeks to substantially reshape the existing college admissions process. 

Highlights from the media coverage include:

The New York Times: Rethinking College Admissions

The News Hour: College Apps Should Emphasize Passion not Accomplishments

The Washington Post: To get into college, Harvard report advocates for kindness instead of overachieving

Nightline: College Admission Standards Changing to Emphasize Service

The TODAY Show: Major changes proposed for the college admissions process

CBS This Morning: New report suggests ways to revolutionize college admissions

Good Morning America: Report Urges College to Give More Weight to Applicants’ Community Involvement

Find additional news coverage, the full report, and related materials on the Making Caring Common website and join the conversation on social media using the hashtag #TurnTheTide.

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On Gratitude

Post by Luba Falk Feigenberg

In the car the other day, my daughter shared that her third grade teacher informed the class that thinking about something you’re grateful each day helps you be healthier in life. And it’s true. Gratitude has been connected to many positive outcomes, including increased happiness, better sleep, closer relationships, and even stronger immune systems. For more on the benefits of gratitude, read here, here, and here.

We, at Making Caring Common, are glad to see gratitude getting so much attention for its wellness benefits. And, we believe that gratitude is important beyond these individual benefits. In fact, we think gratitude is most important because it is part of becoming a caring, ethical person. Expressing gratitude helps us focus on others. When we help children learn about gratitude, we encourage them to think past themselves, to be both appreciative of others as well as appreciative of what they have.

It’s important for children to appreciate other people, especially people who tend to be unnoticed and undervalued. Remind children to thank the bus driver or the toll collector for their work. Make sure to acknowledge the crossing guard and the clerk who sits at the front desk of an office or a school. Intentionally thanking those around us demonstrates that we recognize them and appreciate their contribution to our community. As MCC’s Rick Weissbourd says in this Washington Post piece, “it’s like putting people on kids’ radar who they aren’t normally grateful for.” And it builds our gratitude muscle.

Cultivating gratitude also helps children appreciate what they have. Helping kids be aware of their opportunities, privileges, and material possessions reminds them to appreciate what they may take for granted. It also helps them appreciate that other may not have the same privileges or benefits. Deepening this perspective-taking contributes to a stronger sense of gratitude and a commitment to the greater good.

To help facilitate conversations about the importance of gratitude, we have compiled this YouTube playlist. All the videos in this playlist touch on themes of gratitude and thankfulness. We hope that you will watch them with your child and talk together about the characters, the stories, and the songs. Asking questions is a great way to start a discussion with your kids about these important issues.

So what is my daughter grateful for? “Today,” she said, “I’m grateful for all the people who support my in my life. Yesterday I was grateful for candy.” And I am so very grateful that she is eight.

These resources offer additional strategies and tips on cultivating gratitude: Family Dinner Project Greater Good UW Health

(Photo credit: Molly Sabourin via Flickr)