Mabel’s Guide to: Incest
Summary: After a few years Mabel wants to film a new episode, and Dipper is pretty terrified of what all this means.
Based on a fic by panfordstines with the same name. This is probably much worse quality, but it was 2am and I had nothing better to do.
Dipper had no idea what he was doing.
All he knew for certain was that he was sitting next to his twin sister on his bed in the attic of the Mystery Shack. Opposite them was Mabel's friend Candy pointing a camera at them with a slight blush on her face. Was he about to be punked?
Mabel had come to him just a few moments before and asked him to help her film a very important “Mabel's Guide”. They were a series of “informational” videos she had made more than 6 years ago during their first summer in Gravity Falls. He had barely remembered them before she mentioned it.
So there he was with no clue what was going on when Mabel signaled to Candy to start filming.
“Welcome to Mabel's Guide to Incest!” she said with an enthusiastic smile and a flutter of her hands.
All the blood drained from his face as his body prepared itself to flee.
I guess she figured it out. This is way worse than being punked. He thought to himself. In his peripheral vision he could see her staring at him. Well having a sister for 18 years was nice while it lasted. Guess I better jump out the window now.
Mabel bumped her shoulder against his, bringing him out of his thoughts.
“Look at him, he's already terrified, though I guess I should have expected that!” She said with a chuckle before gesturing towards him “This here is my lovely assistant, Dipper Pines. He also happens to be my twin brother.”
At this point Dipper was incredibly confused. Okay, she doesn't seem to be doing this so she can kick my ass for being in love with my sister, which must mean she- He cut that thought process off right there. There was no chance of that, so there was no chance he was gonna get his hopes up either. This had to be a joke. Like when people at school called them husband and wife and when they got tired of fighting it they just went along with it. He's never really known her to go for something this edgy, but hey, there's a first time for everything.
Noticing that Dipper had begun to relax Mabel continued “Today we're talking about one of the most taboo of taboos. Incest. As I'm sure most of you know it is pretty frowned upon in general by society, but I once performed a marriage for a goat and a pig. I'm not gonna tell you who to love!”
Dipper felt the corners of his mouth pull up into a small smile as he remembered the event.
“I want love to flourish wherever it pops up, so if you follow these simple instructions you may just be able to snag yourself a....” Mabel trailed off, seemingly unable to think of a suitable pun.
“significant brother?” Dipper offered quietly. If this was all a joke it'd look awful suspicious if he just sat there looking terrified. His sister responded by falling backwards on the bed, rolling around and letting out a burst of adorable laughter. He noted, though not for the first time, that seeing her laughing made him feel at peace. Sitting up again and wiping the tears from her eyes she nudged him with her elbow and gave him a large smile.
“That was perfect, Dipper. Significant brother.” She quelled more giggles that seemed to be on the verge of becoming uncontrollable before continuing. “Now, starting a relationship with a sibling isn't like your garden-variety romance. First you need to already have an incredibly strong bond. The kind where little old ladies on the street will say “Oh, well isn't this lovely! It's rare to see siblings getting along so well.”.” Dipper was starting to get a little nervous again. Earlier that morning that exact thing had happened to the two of them.
“The most important thing is to make sure you're in this for the long haul. You've gotta be certain that this isn't just your hormones getting' all weird just because there's a human male, or female, nearby. You know how hormones are. You also need to understand that society isn't gonna be on your side, there's a good chance your family and friends won't either, and if things go really badly your relationship with your sibling may never be able to go back to what it once was.” Her last sentence was tinged with a faint sense of sadness. He didn't really understand why, but he reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Surprised, she gave him a small smile before continuing her lesson.
“Step one of my master plan is to gauge their interest. All your feelings won't mean squat if they're just not into you.” Mabel looked over at dipper with an excited expression that made him just a little uncomfortable. “You first need to work out their feelings towards incest itself. One good method is through entertainment! Throw on the first episode of Game of Thrones during sibling bonding time and watch their reactions. As an example, dipper here-” She threw her arm over his shoulder and pulled him closer to her “reacted with surprise at first, which was fair I guess, but soon began to blush harder than I've ever seen before in my life. During all of the sex scenes he kept stealing glances towards me.” The fear had come back. That window is still looking pretty good a voice in his head suggested. He was still trying to figure out his sister's motive, but coming up with nothing. The idea of her reciprocating his feelings was not allowed. “There are other forms of media that may help you out, so do some research and find the best fit!” Mabel finished, grinning slightly at the look on Dipper's face.
“Onto step two!” Mabel shouted, throwing her fist in the air. “You need to spend more time with them, and not just in the house. Try and get to know their friends too. Make sure to have as much physical contact as you can! You gotta make sure they know that they're the person you wanna be around the most, and gettin' all clingy is a pretty good way of showing it.” To punctuate that sentence she laid her head in his lap. “Isn't that right, broseph?” Dipper just nodded weakly. He barely understood what she had said. It was as though his mind had all the pieces to a puzzle in place, but just couldn't get them to connect. Over the past couple of years she'd become way more cuddly. They shared the same group of friends too. It's like she was trying to tell him something.
With her head still in Dipper's lap Mabel moved onto step number three. “The next step is to create an opportunity to confess your feelings. You can wait for it to come up naturally, or make it happen yourself. Maybe you could have a romantic dinner by candlelight, or walk along the beach under a full moon, or you could just show them this video” She said with a wink as she moved herself back into an upright position. Dipper already missed the warmth she had provided.
“And finally we come to the confession.” As she said this Candy stood up and walked out the door. Dipper looked over to his sister with confusion written all over his face. It seemed an awful lot like she was about to confess to him. Taking a deep breath Mabel turned to look her twin in the eyes, scanning them for any sign that this might be a bad idea, but the fact that he was still here after she went through all four steps gave her some confidence.
“Dipper. There's something I want to talk to you about.”
He just nodded dumbly, too nervous to form any actual words.
“I'm know I'm asking for something impossible here, but please, please don't hate me.”
He could see her eyes begin to gloss over as tears began to form. He took both her hands into his own. The idea of hating her was something his brain couldn't even comprehend. She was Mabel, his beloved sister.
“I just can't keep this to myself anymore. I can't get rid of these feelings no matter what. It might be sick and wrong and things may never be the same again, but I need to tell you.”
She drew nearer to him. Noticing he didn't move away she pressed her forehead to his own. His brain had all but shut down save for a voice that seemed to be cheering and blowing a party horn.
“I love you”
The cogs of his mind began to turn again as he realised what she had said. Leaning forward he pressed his lips to hers gently kissing her, trying to communicate to her all his feelings of love and adoration with the soft touches. As she began to kiss him back things started to intensify. He pushed her down onto the bed and pressed his body against hers. Theirs mouth's met and their hands began to wander. They had years of repressed lust and desire that they needed to get out of their systems. Dipper had just put his hand under Mabel's shirt when a series of sharp knocks on the door caused them to break away from each other reluctantly. “Whoops. Kinda forgot about Candy for a second there, bro-bro.” Mabel said with a laugh before sitting up and straightening out her clothes. “It was mostly your fault though.”
“I've had to hold off doing that for years, so of course I put my all into it” Dipper replied giving her another soft kiss. “Oh, I love you too, by the way.”
Mabel turned towards the camera that he had totally forgotten about.
“And that is how you get yourself a bro-friend.”
==============================================================Thank you for reading the first story I’ve ever completed since I finished high school. Any feedback would certainly be appreciated