Timid Reader: Gah!!!!! It's on the kitchen table! Aspen!....Get it, Aspen!
[Femboy Housewife Yan brushes the spider onto a newspaper and carries it to a window, ushering the small creature outside]
Femboy Housewife Yan: It's gone, dearest. Out of sight. Out of mind.
Timid Reader: T-thank you.... [starts to tear up] What have I become.... I'm a coward compared to how I was when we first met...
Femboy Housewife Yan: Darling! Don't beat yourself up like that. I love the shy you as much as the old you. Besides, we both know that wasn't the real you back then. Just like me.
Timid Reader: Yeah... You're right....
[Femboy Assassin Yan hisses as he's harshly yanked by his hair - hands bound behind his back]
Femboy Assassin Yan: Where are they? [spits out blood] If you hurt them I swear I'll-
Kidnapper: Relax. Your little pet ran into the basement when I broke in. I'll deal with them after I'm done with you....
Femboy Assassin Yan: Basement?.....
[The Basement door creaks open - Reader rushing out with a dented metal bat they batter against the intruder's skull]
Former Gang Leader Reader: You come into my house. [whack!] Attack my wife. [bang!] Force me to resort to violence. [crack!] I just want a normal life! Why can't you just leave us alone!
[Reader pants as they drop the blood and brain matter covered weapon - fat tears pouring down their cheeks as they untie their spouse]
Timid Reader: I-I'm so sorry you had to see that, Aspen. I knew it was too dangerous for me to get married.... Are you okay?
Femboy Housewife Yan - a dreamy smile plastered on his face: Just fine~ Heavens, that was better than sex, Darling... Though, you may need to carry me up to our bedroom now so I know for sure-
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