Dominic played rugby throughout high-school. He was familiar with accidents, some of them bad enough they needed surgery. But aside from heated arguments on the field, a couple unintentional elbows or knees to the face, this was the first instance where his injuries had been intentional, and done to hurt him rather than get past him. As reality settled in, Dominic felt sick to his stomach. The amount of respect Dominic had for Malcolm was indescribable. Whenever he couldn’t make full rent, Mac was understanding and covered it until he could. Whenever he needed a ride home, or for someone to bail him out of a bad situation, Mac was the first one on his list. Whenever he just wanted to hang out, relax and just unwind from the stress of school, work and navigating adult life, Mac was the one he turned to. And now that they were in this situation, he was forced to see his best friend in a different light. While he was certain it wouldn’t last forever, and that they’d figure out a way to get over their differences, their fight was a dark spot on their friendship and it tainted the image of Malcolm in his head.
As the blood continued to drip from his lip, Dominic wobbled his way to the kitchen. He braced a hand on the edge of the sink, turned on the faucet and attempted to wash away the mess. He could hear Malcolm in their living room speaking quietly to himself, or maybe to him, he didn’t know. “I had fucking nothing to do with Violet, and Lights!” Dominic spat, his voice echoing against the metal kitchen sink. He shut off the faucet and walked back out to the living room and stood at the end of the couch, looking at his friend who seemed just as beat up and bruised as he was. Dominic’s anger began to fade away and was replaced with sympathy. It was clear that Malcolm was going through it with Violets reappearance and the news with Lights. He was concerned about him, however given the circumstances of the last 5 minutes, Dom couldn’t bring himself to take another step closer. “Did you want me to just lie to you? Did you want me to pretend nothing happened between me and her, and let you go on seeing her as if everything was perfect?” His words came out a slurred due to his quickly swelling lip.
An overwhelming feeling washed over Malcolm as he sat, Dominic lingering close in the kitchen. His words echoed loudly in the sink but Malcolm couldn’t seem to focus on them. Panic was starting to set in. That was the unique thing about anxiety. You can do something without fear and sure enough, without fail, anxiety resurfaces to remind you of all the things you should be remorseful for. With all the rage beginning to fade, he had barely noticed how bad his hands were shaking. It was pretty reminiscent of his childhood when his hands would tremble without his discretion as he sat idly in class. He’d always been a quiet, nervous kid. But upon his father’s passing, Malcolm recognized this distinct change within himself. His demeanor became fueled by fear, incessantly pleading for apologizes where they were not warranted, crafting scenarios in his head that were beyond irrational. As he sat on the couch with bloodied split knuckles, panic began to flare up within him.
With a restless leg beginning to shake, Malcolm avoided eye contact with Dominic. He was afraid to be confronted with the damage he’d done so he simply stared forward at the opposite wall. His leg tap, tap, tapped against the floor, his jeans making a consistent swishing noise against the fabric of the couch. For someone who was so tough only moments ago, the man was certainly beginning to crumble. With Dominic nearing closer, his words become audible. Malcolm truly didn’t know what to say as rationality came into play once more. His words floated into the air more like an anvil than a feather, they hit a lot harder than you’d expect. “I-I don’t know,” Malcolm managed to choke out. A lump sat in his throat, knowing he’d done wrong, knowing this was blown out of proportion. But there was no taking this back. Things were going to different now and the thought of things changing between them made him shake like a leaf.
You see, it was always hard for Malcolm to make substantial relationship throughout his life. Surely in high school he hung around with the popular crowd, but that didn’t necessarily mean he had friends. He attended the parties, lingered in the background in his letterman jacket and was considered one of the jocks. But nobody knew about his father. Nobody knew why he was choosing the fire department over a future playing college for his dream school. Nobody bothered to ask. It wasn’t until he lived in LA that he met his first true friend, Daysia. And then after Daysia came Dominic. Their friendship held so much weight to him. They could stay up and talk about their darkest secrets, the Raptors strongest players, their favorite movies or they could say nothing at all. Their friendship was something that Malcolm had never experienced before. Their friendship was a model of what a friendship was supposed to be like. Communicating, studying one another’s behavior, just knowing each other to the core. Malcolm was so afraid of losing this. He never thought he’d put himself in a position to jeopardize their friendship but alas here he sat, scared to look himself in the mirror.
“I’m just really hurt, D.” Malcolm muttered as he finally rose to his feet. He could feel the ache in his bones beginning to set in. He walked past the other into the kitchen where he fetched himself another beer to replace the one that told the story of tonight atop their carpet. “I just didn’t think... I didn’t know she was capable of doing that. And I just didn’t think you--” Finally building up the courage, Malcolm looked up at Dom practically wincing as he caught a glimpse at the others face. “Oh my god, D. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean -- God, I’m a fucking asshole. Here, let me--” It was clear the Mac was frantic, he could practically feel the nausea eating at his insides. Opening the freezer, he grabbed a bag of frozen peas and took a few steps towards the other. Malcolm also wore damages from this fight but, Dom was more important to him. It took him a moment to realize he shouldn’t have been doing this, the damage was already done and he had to deal with that. He held out the bag to Dominic with a heavy swallow. “I-I-I... Jesus. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to..” Malcolm repeated, the bag shaking in his grasp.
