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THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (1991)

A couple months back, I rewatched Beauty and the Beast on Disney+ with my kids and was so confused when this scene didn't show up. It had been a few years since we'd watched it and the last time was on the DVD I bought back in the 2000s. I went to go find that DVD and on the back it mentioned that it had newly animated scenes made just for the DVD. I guess I'd forgotten that this scene and the musical number that came after it weren't a part of the original movie.

maxxie-or-smth

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

achillesinhighheels

hel7l7

The fear has been triggered again. A part of me wants more, another part wants to get away. Neither feels right.

They all saw the weakest part of me now. I’ve exposed myself too much. They’ve all seen it.

hel7l7

When I feel safe, my fear grows. It all becomes clear. It all feels more real. Before, in the chaos, it didn’t matter. Everything was dark, I just wanted to get away. Now that I feel everything- know exactly why I wanted to get away. Being visible. Being seen. Unbearable.

hel7l7

I wish to be small again. Become a child again and make up for everything I missed.

hel7l7

It’s nice that everything is different now but it makes so clear how different everything could’ve been.

hel7l7

I want hope, something to hold onto. E-mail my therapist another plea, beg for a few kind words. God I'm on my knees again. Hands up in the air. Give me something. I don't care what it is but I'm so tired of constantly balancing on the edge. Hurt me. Help me. Heal me. Make me feel anything other than what I feel now. Cause this constant chaos is tearing me apart and I can't stand feeling like this any longer. I'm scared of everything - maybe the most of myself. Of who I've become and who I've been. I look for the woman I was and can't seem to find her. Feel little girl small in an adult life. I try. I try. I try. It's like that dream where I run, fall, get up again. Keep falling. Fail to find the escape. Keep getting up again and again.