I'm a Freak?

Years of overthinking have made me wise.

[malkiacera]

Letting my thoughts run.

Being bombarded by reality is certainly no fun. Losing another parent also, no fun. But here I am again feeling indifferent, emotionless. Being bombarded by other’s expectations of what I should be doing is making me feel more annoyed, upset and irritated than the situation itself.

At this point again, like with our dad, I cannot go on thinking about what if’s. Or retrospectively linger on memories. I told myself long ago family is what you make of it and have found people that have helped fill those voids in my life. So yeah, I’m going to keep on living my life; selfish, I know.

[malkiacera]

My dad died.

What I’ve seen is many quotes/conversations of the added pain that comes from losing an estranged parent once they are gone.

But in reality it’s the illusions of what could have been.

I let those go a long time ago; no doubts going forward.

[malkiacera]

When people ask why are you upset…

Don’t assume I am upset. I am very angry and frustrated and I believe me; I don’t want to be.

Because when it boils over, there’s a chance of me getting burnt.

[painpoetry]

[shefightslikeagirl]

The Asylum Holiday Giveaway #4! By the staff of She Fights Like A Girl

Our fourth annual holiday giveaway. This year, we’re featuring some hard-to-find albums and merch from the early days of Opheliac and before.

The Contest ~ Ends on 12:01AM, January 1, 2018. The winner will be announced within twenty-four hours. ~ Winner is chosen at random from the notes. ~ International contest. 

Prizes ~ One (1) copy of Chambermaid (Seraph Records). ~ One (1) copy of the Opheliac EP (Traitor Records). ~ One (1) autographed poster.

Rules ~ Follow the blog. You must be a follower to be able to win. ~ Reblog this post! (Likes do not count.)

Notes ~ The prizes will be shipped from the USA.  ~ To the best of my knowledge, this copy of Chambermaid is an authentic print. I cannot guarantee it, however, as I bought it from a third-party seller. When comparing it to other legitimate copies (online), I see no striking differences. See my reference post here. ~ The poster is autographed with Emilie’s Enchant Era stylized signature. Yes, it is legit. Will be shipped folded.

Everything Else ~ Have questions? Put them in SFLAG’s askbox. ~ See general contest and giveaway information here. ~ Please promote the contest outside of Tumblr! Share it, talk about it, and give everyone a chance to participate.

[malkiacera]

What happened?

I don't know? I was really upset and I hoped it would have made me feel better. But I couldn't seem to feel much of anything so I kept trying to try and feel something. And at the same time I didn't want to hurt myself too much. I know I know, ironic.

[malkiacera]

Accidents happen

I totally understand. But when these little "accidents" keep reoccurring, there is plenty of time to fix, heal, change things so that next time it hopefully doesn't happen. You can't simply leave things as if it never happened.

[quotebook-in]

[shefightslikeagirl]

The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia! Halloween Giveaway By the staff of She Fights Like A Girl

‘Tis the season for ghosts, ghouls, nightmares, and devils. So to celebrate Halloween, we’ll be giving away two hellish prizes from the Carnival itself!

The Contest ~ Ends on 12:01AM, November 1st, 2015. The winner will be announced within twenty-four hours. ~ The winner will be chosen at random from the post notes. ~ International contest. All countries may participate.*

Prizes #1: An Alleluia roadshow tour poster signed by Darren and Terrance, accompanied by two character cards featuring The Painted Doll and the Scorpion.

#2: A sealed copy of The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia soundtrack, accompanied by two character cards featuring The Painted Doll and the Scorpion.

Rules ~ Follow this blog. You must be a follower to be able to win. ~ Reblog this post! (Likes do not count.) ~ The poster will be shipped flat or in a tube (not folded). ~ Shipping costs are provided for winners within the United States. *International winners may be asked to provide shipping and handling costs.

Everything Else ~ Have questions? Put them in SFLAG’s askbox. ~ See general contest and giveaway information here. ~ A big thank you to the girls at the merchandise booth at the TDC screening! They provided two of the character cards free of charge for this giveaway. ~ Please promote the contest outside of tumblr! Share it, talk about it, and give everyone a chance to participate.

[shefightslikeagirl]

The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia! Halloween Giveaway By the staff of She Fights Like A Girl

‘Tis the season for ghosts, ghouls, nightmares, and devils. So to celebrate Halloween, we’ll be giving away two hellish prizes from the Carnival itself!

The Contest ~ Ends on 12:01AM, November 1st, 2015. The winner will be announced within twenty-four hours. ~ The winner will be chosen at random from the post notes. ~ International contest. All countries may participate.*

Prizes #1: An Alleluia roadshow tour poster signed by Darren and Terrance, accompanied by two character cards featuring The Painted Doll and the Scorpion.

#2: A sealed copy of The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia soundtrack, accompanied by two character cards featuring The Painted Doll and the Scorpion.

Rules ~ Follow this blog. You must be a follower to be able to win. ~ Reblog this post! (Likes do not count.) ~ The poster will be shipped flat or in a tube (not folded). ~ Shipping costs are provided for winners within the United States. *International winners may be asked to provide shipping and handling costs.

Everything Else ~ Have questions? Put them in SFLAG’s askbox. ~ See general contest and giveaway information here. ~ A big thank you to the girls at the merchandise booth at the TDC screening! They provided two of the character cards free of charge for this giveaway. ~ Please promote the contest outside of tumblr! Share it, talk about it, and give everyone a chance to participate.

[shefightslikeagirl]

The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia! Halloween Giveaway By the staff of She Fights Like A Girl

‘Tis the season for ghosts, ghouls, nightmares, and devils. So to celebrate Halloween, we’ll be giving away two hellish prizes from the Carnival itself!

The Contest ~ Ends on 12:01AM, November 1st, 2015. The winner will be announced within twenty-four hours. ~ The winner will be chosen at random from the post notes. ~ International contest. All countries may participate.*

Prizes #1: An Alleluia roadshow tour poster signed by Darren and Terrance, accompanied by two character cards featuring The Painted Doll and the Scorpion.

#2: A sealed copy of The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia soundtrack, accompanied by two character cards featuring The Painted Doll and the Scorpion.

Rules ~ Follow this blog. You must be a follower to be able to win. ~ Reblog this post! (Likes do not count.) ~ The poster will be shipped flat or in a tube (not folded). ~ Shipping costs are provided for winners within the United States. *International winners may be asked to provide shipping and handling costs.

Everything Else ~ Have questions? Put them in SFLAG’s askbox. ~ See general contest and giveaway information here. ~ A big thank you to the girls at the merchandise booth at the TDC screening! They provided two of the character cards free of charge for this giveaway. ~ Please promote the contest outside of tumblr! Share it, talk about it, and give everyone a chance to participate.

[malkiacera]

Let's Face it, Gilgamesh from Fate/Zero went on to become Tyler Breeze at NXT

[malkiacera]

Snooping

Flashing back to those texts where he called me a “crazy girl” That split moment of time where I absolutely regret looking through his texts, but glad I knew where his feelings were at. He tried saying it was spur of the moment, but lets face reality; he thought that long before. 

[malkiacera]

Been feeling these insecurities even more now that I’m practically having to start all over....

[malkiacera]

He just doesn't understand.

I've asked him to take initiative, with just little thing. Like putting stuff away if it's been sitting there for days....I just feel like I always have to tell him or he has to double check and ask to be sure. But he'll almost never say or do thing on his own accord.

[malkiacera]

In all of five seconds...

I've already started crying...

[malkiacera]

I know what everyone will say. But I’ve come back from far worse. I’m not going to let anything stop me from doing it, nor am I going to just let these feelings fester inside. Without this, there’d be no room for me to grow and learn from this. Without this, I’d feel less than human.