Stressed, Blessed, & Definitely A Mess

👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻+ 👦🏼🌈👧🏼👶🏻+🐶 Proverbs 31:25-26 Nurse. Wife. Mama. Professional meltdown manager. Part time chaos coordinator.

[mama-reinvented]

I feel like life is just so yucky and hectic right now and I need an outlet to write in again.

I’ve lost 110lbs and I’m back to my weight I was when we got married and I feel great. That’s been such a blessing to no longer carry all the physical weight any more. It was killing my joints.

Work is just…a drama filled dumpster with minimal change for the foreseeable future. I guess that is any nursing unit though. I’m considering a complete career change and leaving healthcare and doing corporate work instead. I’m so tired.

I found a new psychiatrist and they’re trying so hard to get my meds right. I feel SO much better than I used to, but they still aren’t where they need to be. I feel unfixable sometimes.

I don’t even know if anyone is still out there…I just need a place to write my thoughts because I’ve begun to engage in some pretty destructive behaviors and I need to refocus myself.

[mama-reinvented]

Shout out to my psychiatrist and the new meds she has me on because I’m happier and more carefree than I’ve been in years and I feel SO much better than last time I wrote here.

Life is still a little messy and I’m a little disappointed about a work opportunity someone brought up to me that may not pan out, but other than that things are getting better and I’m so hopeful they continue that way 🥹

[mama-reinvented]

I feel like life is just so yucky and hectic right now and I need an outlet to write in again.

I’ve lost 110lbs and I’m back to my weight I was when we got married and I feel great. That’s been such a blessing to no longer carry all the physical weight any more. It was killing my joints.

Work is just…a drama filled dumpster with minimal change for the foreseeable future. I guess that is any nursing unit though. I’m considering a complete career change and leaving healthcare and doing corporate work instead. I’m so tired.

I found a new psychiatrist and they’re trying so hard to get my meds right. I feel SO much better than I used to, but they still aren’t where they need to be. I feel unfixable sometimes.

I don’t even know if anyone is still out there…I just need a place to write my thoughts because I’ve begun to engage in some pretty destructive behaviors and I need to refocus myself.

[mama-reinvented]

After almost 7 straight days of high fevers, my littlest love is finally fever free and on the mend.

Also, he is finally fully potty trained and I am SO pumped and excited to be out of our diaper era.

Finally, I’ve officially lost 70lbs! I am not quite at my goal weight but I am SO happy to hit this milestone.

Just a few little silver linings on what has been a pretty awful month thus far 😅

[mama-reinvented]

I am so so so very tired 😭

First I tested positive for the flu. Then my oldest tested positive for Covid (thankfully though no fever and only a mild cough). Now my youngest tested positive for flu. It’s hitting him SO much harder than me (my fever was 102 for a few hours then broke, his has been 101-103 since last night even with alternating Tylenol and Motrin).

I hate seeing him so sick and miserable. I would do anything to take it from him and have him feel better. I’m hoping my daughter and husband don’t catch it. It’s miserable 😭

[mama-reinvented]

Does anyone have any good book recommendations? I’m looking for some new things to read 🤔

[notjaycakes]

[mama-reinvented]

7ish? Months ago I decided I was done hating myself and hating my body and I was going to do something about it.

I weighed in this morning and I’m official down 65lbs 😭 I still have more to go but I am really ~feeling myself~ and so proud of how far I’ve come so far

[mama-reinvented]

Well now that TikTok is banned I guess I’m going to come back and give this another shot 😅

[mama-reinvented]

I binged watched all three seasons of Bridgerton and now I have to wait until 2026 for the next season and I am heartbroken 😅

[mama-reinvented]

After another prolonged hiatus I’m going to try and post more here.

I had a hysterectomy scheduled this week and it got cancelled last minute and now I have to wait until next year when my fmla kicks in (I’m going from per diem to full time in another week) and I could honestly just cry I’m so upset about it

I’m starting weight loss injections this week because I literally cannot lose the weight. I’ve upped my exercise and cut calories and upped my protein and I’m literally stuck. I have about 60lbs to lose at least. I’m scared but hopeful.

I am so homesick it isn’t even funny. I miss the south. I miss everything about it. City living isn’t for me. The desert isn’t for me. I’m hoping and praying that eventually M will agree to move back to the southeast

I’m hoping to document my weight loss here since I’m not really active on social media. I just want a place to track my progress

[mama-reinvented]

I have to decide between a nicu job and a burn/charge nurse job and it’s so hard 😭

[mama-reinvented]

Fun fact - I took the burn job and left once I realized it wasn’t really burns and then went to nicu and also left when I realized how unsafe the unit was 🤣

Now I’m just enjoying the SAHM life until my next job starts 😎

[mama-reinvented]

I love the fact that even though we live in Las Vegas we live far enough from downtown that you’d never know a major sporting event was going on yesterday.

M and I went on a walk last night after the game and it was so quiet and peaceful and the mountain air was so cool and crisp but literally 30 minutes away the city was wild with celebration and you’d never know it 😅

[mama-reinvented]

When you see leadership begging for extra help in the work group chat you already know what kind of night it’s going to be 😵‍💫

[mama-reinvented]

So tonight as I am just about to get out of the shower I hear M scream my name in a way I knew something bad happened. I could hear H screaming also.

I open the curtain and just saw my poor sweet girls face COVERED in blood. Apparently the kids were playing on the nuggets and she flipped off and hit her face on our cabinets/shelves in the playroom.

She had two huge gashes in her face - one on her forehead and the other across her eyebrow. She also had a bloody nose and lip. We scrambled to get dressed and took off to the ER.

They thankfully took us right back because we were both covered in blood and crying and they ended up sedating her with ketamine and she needed 17 stitches. She’s the toughest little girl I know but gosh I was just so heartbroken. I tried to keep it together but I kept breaking down and crying, especially watching her drift off into the sedation.

After we left M got her a smoothie and went and laid in bed with her until she fell asleep. He stayed strong for us, but I know he was a nervous wreck and so upset.

I obviously called and and was told that since it was a late call plus a high call off day I’m essentially getting 4 points instead of 1 (and we’re only allowed like 7 or 8 for the whole year). I sent my director pictures to show I wasn’t just making it up, but I’m probably getting written up for this at the very least. It’s crazy to me how as a nurse they make it so hard when we have to take care of our own families and emergencies 😔

I just hope she can get some good sleep tonight and isn’t in too much pain or doesn’t have nightmares from the whole ordeal. I’m trying to relax a bit and then I have to work on getting the blood out of our carpets. My poor baby 😭

[mama-reinvented]

Have I ever mentioned I have an unhealthy obsession with cups? Because I do and this cup came today and she is so pretty 🥰

[mama-reinvented]

Things that have brought me joy today: the $5 milk frother I accidentally bought and now makes me feel like I know how to make fancy coffee 😂

Today I had a lot of things I wanted to accomplish, but today all I really succeeded in doing was moving things around in the pantry and unwinding with my kiddos.

Overall I would call it a successful day ☺️

[mama-reinvented]

Taking a 5 minute break from cleaning while the little two are on a walk with grandma. We’ve been in the new house for a month now and I am still not done unpacking.

To say it’s been overwhelming is an understatement. There is so much to go through and so much stuff damaged, not to mention we no longer have a basement for storage so I’ve been tossing a ton of things.

I love this house though. The colors, the floor plan, everything. I’m trying hard to get rid of things and take a more minimalist approach this time around.

I’ve found a lot of peace in organizing and cleaning. It’s just been hard with a crazy schedule at work. Night shift is a lot harder now than before when we had daycare and it’s been hard to find a balance between everything.

Overall though, it’s been a crazy 5 months and it’s slowly starting to all come together and I’m totally here for it.