"No tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell" - Carl Jung
I've been working on seeing the universe in a more wholistic way the past few years; understanding that serendipitous moments don't just manifest out of nowhere but are there for a reason.
There's a lot of trauma and fear that I've allowed to consume my life and it's been extremely challenging accepting this fact while still making the space to move forward. This face was last thing I thought about last night and the first thing I thought about this morning.
The above quote's author laid the foundation for much of the work that I do; and the quote I've interpreted as "for you to be able to fully love and grow into the person you want to be, you must dig deep into your fears and doubts and confront them. Avoiding them will lead you to a life of regret and solitude." And that's where I've been; digging down to hell wondering why I can't feel the love and warmth of those around me.
Isn't it strange that I rediscover this quote ten minutes before my first therapy appointment of the day with my patient; and stranger still that it becomes immediately relevant in session? What are the odds that scrolling social media for a few minutes would lead me to reading something that has been so fundamental to what I've been trying to work on for myself while also being directly tied to my patient's needs?
Confronting myself hurts; but denying myself and the universe's messages have earned me a life of doubt and isolation. It's an uphill battle to rediscover myself and get myself out of this hole I've dug myself in. But at least now I'm confident in which way is up; at least now I know I can feel the love and warmth others shine my way and most importantly; believe that I am deserving of it.
