mani @mamilonglegss - Tumblr Blog

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I think it’s really pathetic how much I yearn for Emma still.

Like that girl did not want to cuddle me when we had the chance. The most basic form of closeness…. We had to be crossfaded for me to get a CRUMB of closeness that night.

And when she woke up she stripped that crumb away. I couldn’t even bask in happiness the next day because she was so cold. I still feel awful about that weekend. She BROKE me.

She was the last girl I was vulnerable with. The last girl I told feelings too. The last girl I sent a long paragraph to.

I hate how special I made her feel. She only kept coming back because she missed how I made her feel that’s it. She never liked me. Because how could you like someone and not want to cuddle them? You really didn’t want to touch me? Be close with me? Really???? How sick is that. I’m so fucked up about it still.

I really want to be held. I’m so touch deprived. I’m a walking shell of myself.