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❥ 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇 [ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 ] .

sentence starters inspired by trixie mattel & katya zamolodchikova’s web series ‘ UNHhhh ’ !! some quotes have been slightly modified to be more usable . change gendered language & add context to your needs . mature language & themes warning !! happy roleplaying !! ♡

“ if you wanna fuck my mom , that is none of my business . ” “ i knew this was gonna happen & i still got scared . ” “ i used to pray to god to take away my ass hair . ” “ they can put a fuckin’ man on the moon , but i can’t get laid . ” “ if there was a god we would call them hot gods , not hot dogs . ” “ i was a little bit turned on by the feeling of being desirable . ” “ guys always say my asshole tastes like a penny . ” “ why did i pick today , of all days , to turn it this hard . ” “ i have one toe out so that people from the bible can’t eat me . ” “ if you want nice feet , you gotta kill yourself . ” “ i wanna put the romance in necromancer . ” “ i just wanna suck a dick . ” “ have you ever had a pet run away & find it ? ” “ i had a lizard that i burnt . ” “ i look like a half - washed potato . ” “ next thing i know i woke up with blue paint on my butt . ” “ you don’t have any talent . you’re just a big bowl of noodles in the shape of a person . ” “ i am extremely lonely . ” “ all my internal organs became applesauce & just oozed out of my asshole . ” “ you look horrible . ” “ i wanna fuck a sexy priest . ” “ my shoe flew off & the heel hit somebody right in the eyeball . ” “ i can’t succeed in health & happiness without you plummeting . ” “ if you’ve sucked dick once , that doesn’t make you gay . ” “ the straight kids are gonna make fun of me . ” “ are you gonna cry at my funeral ? ” “ i don’t think you’re ever gonna die . ” “ you shut up & get outta town . ” “ i can relax anywhere . i just choose not to . ” “ wigs are so fun . it’s so fun to play with wigs . ” “ if i say it quietly , it doesn’t sound like i mean it . ” “ i just observe & i notice things & when you lie about them , i bring them up . ” “ i’m thankful for two things : violence & hair care . ” “ i went to belgium recently , why didn’t i get involved in a jewel heist ? ” “ do i have enough blush on ? ” “ i wanna do crime on you . ” “ i’m gonna shove a cheeseburger up my ass . ” “ ingest positivity , shit out the haters . ” “ that’s what people do when they get horny , they die . ” “ sometimes doggy style starts to feel like a read . ” “ i hate to be wrong . ” “ you may deserve love , but you won’t get it tonight . ” “ what award would you give to me ? ” “ i’ve finally lost contact with reality . ” “ why am i old ? why am i fat ? ” “ i love myself , but i don’t like the way i am . ” “ i’m not in a position to tell anybody what to do . ” “ i know what to do . i just don’t do it . ” “ if you’re stressed out about your racist aunt or uncle , you can physically assault them . ” “ i punched my uncle in the name of justice . ”

vhsmeme

* pick-a-fight meme

‘ could you shut up for five minutes? ’

‘ i have a better idea. why don’t you walk home? ’

‘ so what? ’

‘ i don’t give a shit. ’

‘ aw, did i hurt your wittle feelings? ’

‘ are you serious! ’

‘ how could you let this happen! ’

‘ kiss. my. ass. ’

‘ oh, did i do that? silly me. ’

‘ one more word and i’ll burn your breakfast. don’t test me. ’

‘ admit it. i was right. ’

‘ get out. ’

‘ you’re wrong and you know it. ’

‘ yeah? make me. ’

‘ better let an expert handle this one. ’

‘ i hope you get sunburn! ’

‘ i hope you get frostbite! ’

‘ have fun getting home. ’

‘ hope you’re happy, asshole. ’

‘ get your hands out of my face. ’

‘ sorry, what was that? i couldn’t hear you over the bullshit. ’

‘ un-fucking-believable. ’

‘ forget it. i’ll do it myself. ’

‘ hey, fuck you! ’

‘ jesus, it was a joke. get over yourself. ’

‘ i hope you step on a lego. ’

‘ you’re leaving. right now. ’

‘ eat my shorts. ’

‘ this blows! ’

‘ don’t tempt me. ’

chai-tea-phone-tree

🌿 woodland asks 🌿

mushroom: who is the last person you spoke on the phone with?

oak tree: did you have a tree house as a kid?

creek: how do you usually spend your sundays?

stinging nettle: do you have any scars?

crow: what do you collect?

pond: have you eaten today?

abandoned barn: have you ever explored an abandoned building?

bat: can you read backwards or upside down?

birds nest: how long have you been living in your current residence?

fox hole: where do you go when you need to be alone or feel safe?

moss: who is your favorite superhero?

bramble patch: how many hours of sleep is ideal?

clover: do you believe in luck/carry any good luck charms?

bumblebee: what was your best subject in school?

birch bark: what nicknames have you given your pets?

thorns: what is your creative outlet?

morning dew: describe the best day of your life.

robin eggs: do you like your birthstone?

fawn: how old will you be on your next birthday?

tadpole: have you ever swam in a pond/lake/river?

poison ivy: three things you're afraid of?

cobwebs: are there textures that bother you?

vaememes

✧ A SONG OF FIRE AND ICE SENTENCE PROMPTS !

* A MIXTURE OF PROMPTS FROM THE BOOK SERIES A SONG OF FIRE AND ICE , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .

❝ A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. ❞

❝ A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy. ❞

❝ What are you doing up there? Why aren’t you at the feast? ❞

❝ Soon comes the cold, and the night that never ends. ❞

❝ Men will read all sorts of things into a knowing smile if you let them. ❞

❝ The day will come when you need them to respect you, even fear you a little. ❞

❝ Every man who walks the earth casts a shadow on the world. ❞

❝ But what do we have left, once we abandon the lie? Chaos? ❞

❝ They hate you because you act like you’re better than they are…. ❞

❝ You leave them nothing. You shame them. Does that make you proud? ❞

❝ It’s dangerous being free, but most come to like the taste o’ it. ❞

❝ A dead enemy is a joy forever. ❞

❝ Fear cuts deeper than swords.. ❞

❝ When you play a game of thrones you win or you die. ❞

❝ The things we love destroy us every time, lad. Remember that. ❞

❝ Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities. ❞

❝ Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. ❞

❝ Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle. ❞

❝ A bruise is a lesson… and each lesson makes us better. ❞

❝ The man who fears losing has already lost. ❞

❝ There is no creature on earth half so terrifying as a truly just man. ❞

❝ I swear to you, sitting a throne is a thousand times harder than winning one. ❞

❝ A lion doesn’t concern itself with the opinion of sheep. ❞

❝ The heart lies and the head plays tricks with us, but the eyes see true. ❞

❝ The brightest flame casts the darkest shadow. ❞

❝ There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it. ❞

❝ He who hurries through life hurries to his grave. ❞

❝ A good act does not wash out the bad, nor a bad act the good. ❞

❝ The unseen enemy is always the most fearsome. ❞

❝ There are no men like me. There’s only me. ❞

❝ I am a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings. ❞

❝ There is an empty place within me where my heart was once. ❞

❝ A hound will die for you, but never lie to you. ❞

❝ You don’t feel so helpless when you fight. ❞

❝ Sweet smells are sometimes used to cover foul ones. ❞

❝ The morning air was dark with the smoke of burning gods. ❞

❝ Many called her beautiful. She was not beautiful. She was red, and terrible, and red. ❞

❝ They will not love me, you say? When have they ever loved me? ❞

❝ How can I lose something I have never owned? ❞

❝ I am only a little lion, child, and I vow, I shall not savage you. ❞

❝ I must show no fear, no weakness, no doubt. ❞

❝ I have climbed these steps so often I know each one by name. ❞

❝ Power is a trick. It lies where we believe it lies. ❞

❝ Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. ❞

❝ Black and white and grey, all the shades of truth! ❞

❝ Choosing … it has always hurt. And always will. ❞

❝ If they want to give you a name, take it, make it your own. ❞

❝ You should think less about the future and more about the pleasures at hand. ❞

❝ The heroes will always be remembered. The best. The best and the worst. ❞

❝ We all dream of things we cannot have. ❞

❝ How could I not love him, after that? ❞

❝ Kind? How boring that would be. I aspire to be wicked. ❞

❝ Do you want to die old and craven in your bed?- How else? ❞

❝ Better to mock the game than to play and lose. ❞

❝ When you smell our candles burning, what does it make you think of, my child? ❞

❝ How much can a crown be worth, when a crow can dine upon a king? ❞

❝ Anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt. ❞

❝ Too stupid to learn and too stupid to give up. ❞

❝ No fight is hopeless till it has been fought. ❞

❝ Does he think to scare me? ❞

❝ Fire consumes, but cold preserves. ❞

❝ I will teach them what it means to put a lion in a cage. ❞

❝ I’m sorry that I never trusted you. I don’t know how to do that anymore. ❞

❝ You’ll find truth in your looking glass, not on the tongues of men. ❞

❝ The worst isn’t done. The worst is just beginning, and there are no happy endings. ❞

❝ The choice is yours, brother. Live a thrall or die a king. ❞

❝ Do you dare to fly? Unless you take the leap, you’ll never know. ❞

❝ I have been despised by better men than you. ❞

❝ I love you too, sweet sister. But you’re a fool. A beautiful golden fool. ❞

❝ Sins may be forgiven. Crimes require punishment. ❞

❝ Come at once. Help me. Save me. I need you as I have never needed you before. ❞

❝ There is a difference between fear and caution. ❞

❝ Noble words, but words were easy. Deeds were hard. ❞

❝ This was how an enemy should be dealt with: with a dagger, not a declaration. ❞

❝ The sea is colder than a maiden and crueler than a whore. ❞

❝ I have the virtue of being still amongst the living. ❞

❝ What could he have done, one man against so many? ❞

❝ Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man. ❞

❝ We look up at the same stars and see such different things. ❞

❝ The greatest fools are ofttimes more clever than the men who laugh at them. ❞

❝ You were made to be kissed, often and well. ❞

❝ I think everyone is just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. ❞

❝ Maybe pretending is how you get brave, I don’t know. ❞

❝ I am the blood of the dragon. I must be strong. ❞

❝ I must have fire in my eyes when I face them, not tears. ❞

❝ If you love me all so much, why are you still dressed? ❞

❝ I only…wanted to kiss you there, that’s all. You seemed to like it. ❞

❝ Only lies offend me, never honest counsel. ❞

❝ A harp can be a dangerous as a sword, in the right hands. ❞

❝ Soon comes the cold, and the night that never ends. ❞

❝ Stop telling me what to do, wench. I’ll die if it pleases me. ❞

❝ Madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. ❞

sleepy-skittles

50 A Softer World Prompts

Send an ask with a number + a ship.

Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees. (Today is the most exciting day of our lives.)

At my worst, I worry you’ll realize you deserve better. At my best, I worry you won’t. (I’ve never been better.)

If loud, weird public sex is wrong, then being wrong is wicked hot. (right and wrong are just guidelines to hotter sex)

i don’t know what the fuck true love even is but i do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life. (let’s hang out - TO THE DEATH)

my five year plan is to maybe go out for ice cream this afternoon? (Live every day like the ice cream store is closing.)

I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath. (My heart is layers of scar.)

I know your weakness. It’s kisses. You are doomed. (Don’t worry. We’re all doomed eventually.)

Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough. (Participation medals of the heart.)

CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP NOT SURE HOW TO STOP (WHY STOP)

When you touch me, my mind is gone. The only words I know are lost inside your body. (right in there.)

hey, i’m liking your photos at 2am because i want to make out. i’m texting you at noon because i want to make out. i woke up today because i (we don’t need words)

It’s a full moon. I bought some rope and handcuffs to bring to bed tonight. (beware the moon.)

You aren’t really a good person, but god damn, you make bad look awesome. (no one could steer me right, but mama tried.)

I think I’ve got fireflies where my caution should be. (Instead of slowing down, I just shine brighter.)

No no, we aren’t breaking up! You didn’t let me finish. I’m gay for YOU. (And I’m queer for math!)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You can do whatever you want to me. (please do.)

I do not believe in love at first sight. But god damn. (Look at you.)

I don’t know how to make things right. So I’ll just keep pretending that nothing’s wrong. (you know that I’m no good)

When I look at you all I can see are the mistakes we’re going to make. (The future’s so bright.)

If something seems too good to be true, quick! put it in your mouth! (before anything can go wrong!)

To thine own self be wicked sexy. (And then send pics.)

Today’s a perfect day for naked cuddling. I don’t even care what day it is. Every day is perfect. (I’m gonna spend it with you.)

We talk in the dark as we fall asleep, and we are objects in the night sky outside of time. (it is the exact opposite of alone.)

I joined Plenty of Fish to find out who stole my bike. A fun first date would be going to your house to see if you have my bike. (What a lovely home. Do you have a shed?)

This town isn’t big enough for the both of us. Let’s run away together! (Let’s join a street gang! Is NASA recruiting?)

I love you the way a knife loves a heart the way a bomb loves a crowd the way your mother warned you about, essentially. (the way a human loves another human)

Our love is like. Our love is only like. (I like you. I don’t LIKE like you.)

I miss doing nothing with you. (I miss not having to pretend to like your family.)

I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away. (it gives me sexual arousal.)

In a dark, dark wood there was a dark, dark house and in that dark, dark house I think we should get drunk and fool around. (I want dirt under my fingernails.)

I love the way your face lights up when someone says, “It might be dangerous.” (I am glad we are friends.)

I think you are beautiful and I would like to kiss you. I can think up some clever lines, if you’d prefer. But I wanted to say that, first. (None of those lines seemed to be about you or me.)

I cannot help but notice we are sitting-in-a-tree. So, you know, maybe we could think of something to do… verb-wise. (I want us to gerund, essentially.)

When you’re around I don’t know how to hide my feelings. I count in binary, in my head. zero one one zero one one and you count clouds. (while you count clouds)

I hate trying to put my desire into words when my body knows exactly what to say. Come home. (You can’t start a fire without a spark.)

I love you but I don’t love you enough to give up falling in love. (anyway, happy anniversary!)

on the paper, she had written “you” and she told me “that’s a list of the people who are standing too close.” (I ain’t your pal.)

You are the love of my life so far. (Tomorrow’s just a day away.)

There should be a word for a threat that is also a promise. Because that is what I want you to hold me down and do. (I love you)

I laugh along but inside I know that it’s true: Being in love is totally punk rock. (quiet kisses are so hardcore)

I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another. (That’s the way it crumbles. Cookie-wise.)

I would love you more if you were someone who could love me. (buy your love by playing make believe.)

Fun things to yell during sex: Anything. (he is risen.)

I am writing a book of love poetry for you. For example: “The only reason you could possibly need your music that loud is if you were planning to listen from my apartment. You downstairs motherfuckers.” (Every day I hope to see a moving truck pull in. Or an ambulance.)

when I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kinda horny. (I miss you)

We are terrible for each other, and, yes, we are a disaster. But tell me your heart doesn’t race for a hurricane or a burning building. I’d rather die terrified than live forever. (mistakes aren’t always regrets)

If they invented a way to actually have sex over the internet you and I could use that glorious technology for internet hugs. (You know, when I wasn’t using it for sex.)

Life would be way easier if I were easier. (Fact.)

I want to rob lumber mills and hospitals with you and just bewilder the hell out of people the way love should. (We will make everything wrong in the right way.)

I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now. (And you will always be someone who was beautiful, once.)

vaememes

💔 HEART ACHE SENTENCE PROMPTS !

❝ You are a victim of your own broken heart. ❞

❝ You’re breaking my heart. ❞

❝ The heart is just a muscle, isn’t that right? ❞

❝ You’ve left a void in me that cannot be filled. ❞

❝ Time does not heal a broken heart as they say. ❞

❝ How do you cope when the love is with somebody else? ❞

❝ Well, you can’t have heartbreak without love. ❞

❝ Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery. ❞

❝ My heart no longer felt as if it belonged to me. ❞

❝ There is an ocean of silence between us… and I am drowning in it. ❞

❝ Raw love, like raw heartache, could blindside you. ❞

❝ I was born the day you kissed me, died the day you left me. ❞

❝ I’ve fallen victim to love once in my life, it was enough for me. ❞

❝ I think perhaps I will always hold a candle for you – even until it burns my hand. ❞

❝ I would have followed you to hell and back… if only you’d lead me back. ❞

❝ I had fallen but you were not there to catch me. ❞

❝ This pain has not passed, this pain, I’m afraid, it will never pass. ❞

❝ A broken heart can be as lethal as a bullet to the brain. ❞

❝ As if you gave your heart to autumn, for what it destroys never blossoms again. ❞

❝ A single heartbreak teaches you more than what a lifetime of schooling can. ❞

❝ You taught me how to live with you, now tell me how to live without you… ❞

❝ You hurt me and yet I cannot stay away, I am miserable either way. ❞

❝ Do you know why he did what he did to you? Because he could. ❞

❝ I have been bitter since the day you broke my heart. ❞

❝ Today is just another day of trying to get by without you. ❞

❝ An entire world of people can never replace the one that I’ve lost. ❞

❝ I cannot carry on with my future when I am stuck in my past. ❞

❝ Many things we die but this love I have for you will not. ❞

❝ I could never love another as I do you, even if I wanted to. ❞

❝ This heart break will be the death of me. ❞

❝ I still fight and I don’t know why. ❞

❝ If our love is tragedy then are you my remedy? ❞

❝ When you’re ready, come find me, my heart is open. ❞

❝ Love is both, the strongest and the weakest thing you can have in life. ❞

❝ Black misery painted on a blood red heart. ❞

❝ You make me feel like a firefly. Trapped in a belljar; starved for love. ❞

❝ Sometimes your eyes are not the only place the tears fall from. ❞

❝ My heart does not beat, it aches, for you. ❞

❝ Do you even know how you make me weak? ❞

❝ If you lose your one and only, there’s always room here for the lonely. ❞

❝ Part of me aches at the thought of her being so close yet so untouchable. ❞

❝ Sometimes it feels like love and sometimes it feels like the death. ❞

❝ I don’t know where your heart is but mine is bruised. ❞

❝ I tried to wash the scars and marks from under my skin but you’re etched in me like stone.❞

❝ You call it love, but still you hate me? ❞

❝ You’re the pain and the medicine, one taste and I’m numb again. ❞

❝ With you next to me, there’s no darkness I can’t overcome. ❞

❝ They don’t love you the way I love you. ❞

❝ What a wicked way to treat the one that loves you. ❞

❝ What’s worse, looking jealous or crazy? ❞

❝ There’s a fire starting in my heart, it’s bringing me out the dark. ❞

❝ The scars of your love remind me of us. ❞

❝ Tears of blood fall from my broken heart. ❞

❝ Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. ❞

❝ When it’s all said and done, I’m still in love with you. ❞

❝ I want you to know that I’m all yours. ❞

❝ You could break my heart in two but when it heals, it beats for you. ❞

❝ The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it… ❞

❝ Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time. ❞

❝ I know you still think about the times we had. ❞

❝ I’ve been so selfish because I love you so much. ❞

❝ You’re just like a pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill. ❞

❝ I bet you start loving me as soon as I start loving somebody else. ❞

❝ Do you ever think of me when you lie? ❞

❝ I fell for your lies, you hurt me, all the time. ❞

❝ Despite everything, I still remain loving you. ❞

❝ I’m waiting for the one day to come, when I can look at you and feel nothing. ❞

❝ Love creeps up on you, you never know how hard it’s there until they leave. ❞

❝ I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for just how badly I broke you.. ❞

❝ What chance did we have against fate? ❞

❝ Be careful when fixing broken people. You may end up cutting yourself. ❞

❝ Every other lover will always be compared to you. ❞

❝ I would recognize your heartbeat from the ends of space. ❞

❝ Even in dreams, ghosts of former happiness haunt me. ❞

❝ You should see me when my heart is broken. I don’t grieve, I shatter. ❞

❝ Love, but don’t fall in love because everything that falls breaks. ❞

❝ If my love was a war, you only fought for the glory of winning. ❞

❝ How many hearts have you collected? How many chests have you left aching and empty? ❞

❝ I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. ❞

❝ If it’s a question of my heart, you’ve got it. It don’t belong to anyone but you. ❞

duskgathers

tinder one-liners.

sentence starters meme. feel free to change any pronouns/format to fit with characters better. taken from this video. may work better if adding “i’m [character name], [age], and…” to the beginning of these sentence starters, but it’s not necessary. a mix bag of nsfw, humour/crack, angsty, etc.

“i’m friends with a rich person.”

“i haven’t had an std.”

“i was in a relationship for eight years before tinder was a thing, so i have no idea how this tinder thing works.”

“the last time i was someone’s type, i was giving blood.”

“i’m 5′8″ but everyone’s the same height lying down.”

“i don’t have chlamydia.”

“i really love red lipstick.”

“i’m rich and famous.”

“i cried by myself the other night.”

“if i had to describe myself, i’d say that i’m quite a lot like a vindaloo.”

“i’d let you play snake on my nokia 3210.”

“i have a silver tooth.”

“you can be the bi- to my -cep.”

“my chain costs more than your house.”

“i let my friends borrow my expensive things.”

“my hands are quite rough, like the sex we’re going to have.”

“what’s the point of guys under 6′0″?”

“i have size eleven feet. read into that what you will.”

“my girlfriend said i had to tell you about her.”

[starts showering the other muse with money.]

“i once tried to wax my own asshole, and it got stuck together.”

“my favourite exercise is sex.”

“if you say yes, you’re going to be the better-looking person in the relationship, and, also, please?”

“my dad went to the shops and never came back.”

“i may have a minor drug problem.”

“i’m not very good at social situations.”

“my clothes always have to match.”

“i think we’ll get along really well as long as you don’t mind big penises.”

“i’ve lost four-hundred pounds on online poker.”

“i’m here to keep you on the black side.”

“i’m not the funniest, i’m not the most clever, i’m not the richest.”

“you look like you could ruin my life.”

“i get my asshole fingered sometimes.”

“i can get rid of all your debt.”

“when i was younger, i had an undiscovered wheat allergy, which gave me crippling constipation.”

“your bone structure is giving my bone structure.”

“if you like your sexual encounters to be under two minutes, i’m your guy.”

“i was born with a six pack.”

“I own three companies.”

“i’m just happy to be here.”

“you can call me tonight.”

“if you want an ugly boyfriend, there’s one behind me.”

“go fuck yourself.”

“i don’t use toilet paper, i just go in the shower and use my hand.”

“i didn’t get many gcses, but you can get my d.”

“i play the drums, the piano, and the violin.”

“i got bullied in school, but i deserved it.”

“if i had to describe my personality, i wouldn’t but i’m rich.”

“i’m a thief, and i’m here to take your virginity.”

“i like watching plane crash documentaries.”

“if i was a felony, then you’d be on death row.”

“i’ve kidnapped your family.”

“it was dark.”

“my girlfriend said she was open into letting someone join in.”

“i’ve got a fast car and i like to rev it. you might think i have a tiny willy, but would you like to find out?”

“i’d like to take you to see the northern lights.”

“can i tie your shoelaces? ‘cause i don’t want you falling for anyone else.”

“i can take you anywhere in the world, first class.”

“money can’t buy taste.”

“you’d look great in my arms.”

“are you from china? because i’m china get into your pants.”

“i can improvise your favourite song on the piano.”

“i’ve shat myself multiple times.”

[just stares quietly and says nothing.]

“my love for you is larger than my forehead.”

“i can speak three languages and play two instruments.”

“sometimes when i’m sad, i drink alone.”

“i’m dying.”

“if i was a tree, i’d be a good tree.”

“is your dad a terrorist? because you’re the bomb.”

“i’m just a nice guy who won’t let you down.”

monokumamemes

First Interactions / Break the Ice Starter Sentences

❝ Hey, excuse me, you dropped this! ❞

❝ Don’t get wet, stand under my umbrella with me. ❞

❝ I’ll pay for your [meal/coffee/groceries/etc] ! ❞

❝ Hey! Watch where you’re going! ❞

❝ This seat’s free. Come sit. ❞

❝ Sorry, I couldn’t help but to stare… ❞

❝ I wasn’t staring! I was just.. spaced out! ❞

❝ Is that… blood? ❞

❝ Woah, you look pale… are you okay? Do you need to go to a hospital? ❞

❝ I can give you a ride if you need it, beats walking. ❞

❝ Did you just breathe in my direction? ❞

❝ Don’t look at me like that. ❞

❝ I don’t know you, but I really want to hold your hand. ❞

❝ … I really hate the awkward silence in elevators, you know? ❞

❝ Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else. ❞

❝ Don’t look now, but this person has been following you for two blocks so I thought I’d approach you and act like your best friend or something. Sooo, how have you been? ❞

❝ Is there something in my teeth? ❞

❝ Did you just hold my hand? ❞

❝ Um… that’s MY seat. I ALWAYS sit there. ❞

❝ Hey um, that guy/girl is totally eyeballing you. ❞

❝ Let me buy you a drink sometime? ❞

❝ Oh my god don’t move there’s a spider on your shirt- ❞

❝ What… are you doing? ❞

❝ Oh! Can I have one of those? ❞

❝ Hey! Can you help me out? ❞

❝ Can I walk with you? ❞

❝ Oh, you live here? This is awkward… ❞

lannasroleplaymemes

Realistic Halloween Starters

“– He gave me a toothbrush. Let’s egg his house.” “Didn’t even try to decorate the house, huh.” “If you wear that ‘this is my costume’ t-shirt, I swear to god…” “Ew, I hate this flavor. Trade?” “Stop crying, it was just some dude wrapped in toilet paper!” “Wow, you sure put too much effort into this holiday.’ “They didn’t have any more candy so I asked for weed.” “DON’T GIVE KIDS ALCOHOLIC CANDY!” “Every time I sit down more kids show up at the door. I hate Halloween.” “Whoops, no more candy. Sorry. Bye.” “How cute. You look like you raided a dumpster!” “THAT COSTUME IS CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE!” “Apparently she’s dressed as a witch, but I don’t really see the difference…” “Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?” “I don’t think you should be having that much sugar…” “If you weren’t diabetic before, I’m pretty sure you are now…” “Bobbing for apples is gross. Every kid got spit in there.” “This house isn’t sca–AHHH!” “Kind of makes me wish something interesting would happen. Like murder.” “NO. NO OUIJA BOARDS!” “We’re going to a graveyard? What are you, thirteen?” “I’ve seen scarier Hot Topic cashiers.” “This isn’t right. Where are the slutty male costumes?!” “This party sucks. I’d rather be out getting free candy with first-graders.” “Yeah, because I definitely want to get arrested for trespassing tonight.” “You wasted all the toilet paper on the first house, there’s nothing left!” “Okay, so just hit the door bell and then run!” “It’s just a couple of broken eggs, it’s not going to damage the car!” “No way. People who have sex at parties die on Halloween. That’s just movie logic.”

onlyrpmemes

Random Questions for a Muse

(if for a multi-muse; please specify who it is for)

What do you like to drink on a hot day?

What do you like to drink on a cold day?

What was the last thing you ate?

Hear any good jokes lately?

What do you feel like when you’re in love?

What is something that warms and comforts you?

What is something you can definitely do without?

Got an antagonist in your life?

Do you wear hats?

What’s a fear you have?

Anything you wish you could have done differently in your life?

What’s something you wish you could do?

Do you like children?

Have you loved and lost?

What would a terrifying nightmare for you be like?

Got a favorite food?

What kind of music do you listen to?

Is there anything you simply cannot stand?

Mornings or evenings?

What would be your dream house?

What is a smell that’s absolutely horrible to you?

Any bad habits?

What would be an average day for you?

Are you wanted by law enforcement?

Do you have people you can count on when things get tough?

vhsmeme

* twitter meme starters

‘ i refuse to listen to reason, i have to listen to so much already. ’

‘ if i was famous i would just knock on people’s doors and be like hello, yes, it’s me. ’

*eats a snack while looking for a better snack*

‘ taking a nap is always so risky like when will i wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 3 years? ’

‘ i’m wiping the slate clean, so i have somewhere to spill all the blood of everyone who has ever wronged me. ’

‘ horrified that other people have decided to leave their house tonight. ’

‘ to me, the cookie jar is the modern day treasure chest, and you don’t have to brush off any skeletons to get to it. ’

‘ my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am. ’

‘ grab your own butt. love yourself. ’

‘ on the moon if you don’t like something you can just throw it upwards into space. on earth if you try to do that the enemy known as gravity gets in the way. ’

‘ my stress stresses me out to the point where i’m too stressed to deal with my stress. ’

‘ don’t worry, password. i’m insecure too. ’

‘ i should have thought about that? you know i don’t think about things. ’

‘ when you live the bart life you say ‘whoa, mama’ to the good and ‘ay, caramba’ to the bad. ’

‘ i got 99 problems but i’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all. ’

‘ i love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up. ’

‘ everything’s my fault when you just look at the facts and information. ’

‘ why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone. ’

‘ do you like bad boys? ‘cause i’m bad at everything. ’

‘ i never argue. i just explain why i’m right. ’

‘ if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, i’d just laugh and search with them. ’

‘ if your family members share one of those articles about how millennials can’t do anything right, consider countering by sharing the page of a below average nursing home or even just a photo of bones with the caption: sooner than you think. ’

‘ yeah, baby, i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day. ’

‘ can i sell my feelings on ebay. i don’t want them anymore. ’

‘ coffee is just baby formula for adults. ’

‘ i think i speak for all of us, just in general. ’

‘ i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions. ’

‘ can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? ’

‘ do not beef shame me. ’

‘ later is the best time to do anything. ’

‘ trying to decide if i should spend my evening reading a book or browsing social media for two hours in stomach churning guilt while thinking about how i should read a book. ’

‘ if you cannot handle me at my worst, that is fine. i am a powerful and terrifying thing and all should live in fear. ’

‘ people pretending to be cats is fine and cool but if some sort of huge animal wanted to pretend to be people then everyone is all, ‘please leave the bank’. ’

‘ are you bad wifi ‘cause i’m feeling no connection here. ’

‘ in the mood for a hug and 69 chicken nuggets. ’

‘ some times you spend so much time getting revenge you forget about getting retribution. ’

‘ never underestimate yourself. but also do not overestimate yourself, that’s bad too. ’

‘ you will never be a billionaire but there’s still time to see what they taste like. ’

‘ i don’t say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave. ’

‘ they will never do a live action reboot of your childhood. ’

‘ i could learn a thing or two from this? thanks for the warning, i will avoid it. ’

‘ you would think that wouldn’t you, always with your thinking things. that’s what separates me from you, the thinking. ’

‘ i’m putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me. ’

‘ sea shells, or the beach’s potato chips, are free to anyone who can find them. ’

‘ learning is the fool’s errand. ’

‘ is your name dunkin’ because i donut want to spend another day without you. ’

krmits

what we do in the shadows (fx) — 1.01 / pilot.

‘ i think he’s gonna make me a vampire. ’

‘ he awakens! ’

‘ they would call me ___ the relentless. because i just never relent. ’

‘ oh fuck this, fine. ’

‘ last night there were all these people down there, shouting and screaming, half drunk. ‘

‘ no, they were half-drunk. they’d been half-drunk. ’

‘ if you’ve got something to say, then damn well say it. ’

‘ how dare you! (hisses) ’

‘ the problems with living with other vampires are the vampires i’ve chosen to stay with. ’

‘ i was the most handsome man in my village. ’

‘ one night, i was awoken by this horrible clawing at the window. and i thought “who the hell is that?” because i live on the third floor. ’

Keep reading

krmits

what we do in the shadows (fx) — 1.02 / city council.

‘ all this walking and walking and walking… ’

‘ screw this. i’m flying. ’

‘ you will give me the scroll or you will taste the wrath of my pike. ’

‘ shh! you’ll spook the virgins! ’

‘ your mead tastes like griffin piss. ’

‘ alright, i think you need to calm down, my beauty. ’

‘ be strong, sweet little one. ’

‘ someday they will all be dead, and you will do a shit on all of their graves. ’

‘ recently, we’ve had a very powerful and ancient vampire move into the house, and it’s made things a little challenging. ’

‘ careful of the spider house! you wouldn’t like it if a spider came and dusted your house, would you? ’

‘ she’s got everyone on edge, popping up behind doors, behind bushes. ’

‘ why are we meeting in the fancy room? ’

Keep reading

krmits

what we do in the shadows (fx) — 1.03 / werewolf feud.

‘ i have recently rediscovered my love for topiary sculpture. ’

‘ can’t you see i’m sleeping? please get out. ’

‘ there’s a bloody big werewolf on the lawn! ’

‘ i saw you scritching and scratching around the garden like a big, disgusting wet dog. ’

‘ the game’s up, you bastard. ’

‘ someone’s finally speaking my language. ’

‘ you’re doing it again. you’re undermining me. ’

‘ can you stop crying on my lawn, please? ’

‘ here comes the party poop. ’

‘ if we are to battle, we must follow the protocols. ’

‘ you know, we don’t have to be enemies. ’

‘ tonight is a good night for the other guy, not me, to die. ’

‘ you haunted house bitch! ’

‘ we meet on the roof of this abandoned circuit city in accordance with the protocols… ’

‘ okay, let’s just take things down a notch and then fight to the death. ’

‘ i didn’t know i could feel such depth of emotion. ’

‘ don’t leave me! i’m just kidding, you can. ’

reallygoopycake

SIN

Not feeling the nasty business right now so how about we address lust’s more volatile cousin, wrath?

Send one of these in and I’ll talk about my muse.

How often do they find themselves fighting others?

Do they regret when they strike out? Find satisfaction in it?

How quick are they to resort to violence?

Is there anything that makes them snap faster?

Do they throw insults or fists first?

Have they killed before? How did it impact them?

If they could kill or harm another, without repercussions, would they? Who would it be? To what extent?

Do they believe it’s okay to use violence to resolve problems?

Is there a line they will not cross when it comes to violence/insults?

Do they try and justify their actions? How?

Do they have rituals or other motions they go through to calm themselves following violence?

Do they have any sort of visceral reaction to violence?

Are there certain times, currently or in their past, when they are more prone to violence than usual?

Are there certain places where they regularly find themselves in trouble?

What’s the worst situation they’ve ended up in before, due to violence?

Has anything good ever come to them from acting violently?

Do others tend to look down upon them for their actions? Whether benign or violent in nature?

Was violence a big part of their childhood?

Do they follow another’s teachings when it comes to their treatment of violence?

I have a question! (Asker’s choice)

memeasaurus-promptus

Myth and Magic Sentence Starters

“Heard a rumor that something lives in these woods, something… otherworldly.”

“Are you /trying/ to get yourself killed?!”

“Your spellwork is shoddy at best.”

“Enunciate! Don’t mumble!”

“What sort of Craft do you do?”

“You’re… you’re a witch.”

“You’re going to get caught walking around like that.”

“What a beautiful creature…”

“Please do not drop things into my cauldron.”

“They say that you’re a Fae.”

“Your eyes… you’re not human, are you?”

“What are you doing in a place like this?”

“This isn’t your natural habitat…”

“This is… impressive spellwork.”

“Oh! What beautiful enchantments!”

“Do you think you can make me one of these?”

“I’m looking for someone whom people say can brew any cure.”

“This place is cursed… I can feel it in my bones.”

“Your magic is very oppressive.”

“Supposedly there’s a dragon who dwells here. Heard anything about that?”

“Your wards and shields are pathetic.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, they’re a fairytale.”

“Magic doesn’t exist.”

“It’s probably some rabid wolves or something, not some ‘mythical creature’.”

“Ghosts aren’t real, and this place isn’t haunted!”

“Isn’t it about time you crafted your own focus?

“I’ve never seen magic quite like this.”

“Please take your wand away from my throat.”

“Is this a cure, or a poison?”

“I didn’t know this type of herb grew here.”

“Do you think someone will be willing to sell me a crystal?”

“What are you going to do? Read my palm? Tell me my fortune on a poker hand?”

“I haven’t seen a creature like that in years.”

“Excuse me, but have you seen any __ around these parts?”

“A __ you say? No, I don’t believe I have.”

“You should check the vendor down the block if you’re looking for /that/ kind of thing.”

“You do know that even possessing that is illegal here, yes?”

✨+ add your own!

justmorerpmemes

Morning vs Night Starters

“Good morning. Hope you slept well.”

“After today, I’m off. Have a good evening.”

“You don’t usually leave early…”

“I was cold this morning, that’s how I knew you were up early.”

“I know we said good night half an hour ago, but you’re still up.”

“How late did I sleep in?”

“This has been a pleasant evening, but unfortunately it must end.”

“Breakfast has been covered, don’t worry about it.”

“Falling asleep? Bed time.”

“I can handle one more hour… half an hour.”

“This sunrise was absolutely worth it.”

“Sunsets happen all the time but for once, there’s time to take it in.”

“I tucked you in last night. You were a little out of it.”

“Why did I have to wake up to the floor?”

“Up so early? Morning to you too.”

“Up with the sun, down with the sun?”

“You say good night, I say good morning.”

“You say good morning, I say good night.”

“Ten more minutes. No don’t get up.”

“You’re never by this late, is something wrong?”

“Alright, up and at ‘em. Burning daylight.”

“Welcome to trying to be nocturnal!”

“Are you gonna get up or am I taking you to bed?”

“I will not be removed from my blankets.”

“Time to make the best of the evening. You’re coming with me.”

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