âI had an epiphany.âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
âWould you like to hear what the epiphany was?â
âUm. Sure.âÂ
âYouâre not enthused about it. Â Never mind.â
âJust tell me your epiphany.âÂ
âNo, itâs okay.  It wasnât that great.  It was just about God and the progression of religion and stuff.âÂ
âSounds...â
âOkay so here it is:...âÂ
I had that conversation with my wife on date night.  Because I am smooth and sexy and have always excelled at turning her on with provocative and suggestive conversation.  Nothing says âI canât wait until we get home you need to pull over on this country roadâ more than a monologue regarding a philosophy of religion. Â
According to psychologists most âepiphaniesâ or grand revelations happen in the shower for a reason.  There is some combination of the solitude, repetitive sounds and temperature that place you in an epiphany-ready state.  I could link you to articles supporting that claim but we both know youâre not here for hard science!  Iâm not sure where my epiphany (one of many by the way, I have epiphanies on epiphanies on epiphanies son) happened but it wasnât in the shower.  I may have been driving.  Or daydreaming.  Or reading. Who cares really.Â
My wife and I had been talking about how we âfitâ into faith communities or even faith conversations in our current context.  Couples or friends only talk about such things if they feel as though they arenât fitting in.  Square pegs donât chat with other square pegs about how well things are going sliding into square holes.  We feel a bit as though weâve been playing racquetball for the past five or six years and suddenly weâve been placed in a situation in where everyone plays tennis. Â
On this drive or daydream or out at my woodshop (hahahahahhahaha) I was trying to formulate what I really think the bible is. Â That definition is keeping me off the tennis courts. Â Literarily the bible is an anthology. Â Supernaturally the bible is Godâs communique with mankind previous, current and future. Â Cultically the bible is the normative guidelines for behavior and inclusion into âthe groupâ. Â Cheesily the bible is: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, Godâs handbook for life, Your Roadmap, Lifeâs Instruction Manual. Â Can you think of any more?Â
Most typically the bible is considered to be âGodâs Word.â Which means.....what exactly? Unfortunately Iâve probably held a physical bible in my physical hand and refereed to it as such in front of people before.  How much does it  help someone who is trying to make sense of their life in the context of the transcendent by saying âhey this thing in my hand with paper that tears literally if you blow on it is the âwordâ of the indescribable, omnipotent, everpresent and creative God of the universeâ? Â
Iâm not sure I think the bible is that.Â
The bible, to me--please note that disclaimer, is an memoir of unfolding understanding regarding God and how God relates to and interacts with creation.  A memoir because itâs written by people in the context of reflection.  Unfolding because it is progressive.  Understanding because it is communicated from a human perspective that is seeking knowledge using experience, evidence and intuition to arrive at certain conclusions.  Before you start labeling me or placing me in a âcampâ (and only those of you who are firmly encamped yourself will do this--the rest of you didnât know there were camps or donât care and now you just want to go camping) I should tell you I believe in inspiration by Godâs Spirit in some very guttural and subtle way and I believe the bible is intensely honest of not a perfect description page for page of God or Godâs behavior. Â
A cursory reading of the bibleâs first few books casts God in a role eerily similar to other Near Eastern deities.  God is immediate.  His presence and actions are easily perceived and impact creation instantaneously.  God is also immediate in the sense that he acts within a relative small geographical framework.  There arenât any verses in Leviticus in which God has to take a break because heâs got stuff going on in New Guinea.  Immediacy is a good thing.  However immediacy carries with it the burden of tyranny in many scenes from scripture.  In another ancient document from a reasonably similar context there is a deity named Molech who defeats a vicious female deity to achieve superiority over the cosmos.  He then orders creation as he sees fit.  Certain people are expendable and bound for sacrifice.  Violence is normative and females can be subjected.  Molech sounds very similar to melek, a semetic word for âkingâ.  In that historical setting Kings are like Gods and Gods are like Kings.  When you read in the bible that God orders mass genocide and kills people for touching certain objects doesnât it feel a bit tyrannical?  If we read tweets describing things like that we call them war crimes, or crimes against humanity.  Is this who God is?Â
Bloody swords and plagues and anger and revulsion?Â
Or is this the best effort of humans trying to grapple with understanding the biggest answers to the biggest questions. Â
There is a rabbinic tradition which says that the biggest questions are always posed in the wrong way. Â Humans tend to ask why and what. Â Job is a character in the bible who has a book named after him. Â Itâs a really horrible story actually. Â Jobâs life goes to shit. Â Thoroughly. Thatâs the story. Â The whole thing. Â Job maintains faith in Godâs presence and even benevolence though there is evidence to the contrary. Â Job asks God the big questions. Â Why did this (or all bad things) happen? Â What did I do wrong? What should I do now? Why didnât you protect/rescue/reward me?Â
The kingâs throne sways a bit under humanityâs questions.Â
God answers by describing Godself. Â
Rabbis say that when you ask God questions God really answers by saying âWhoâs asking?â Â
Once the idea of tyrannical deity who resembles and behaves very much like an earthly king  no longer suffices religions usually drift toward ethereal ideas or theories.  The king who uses force becomes more akin to The Force.  A prince who had his own epiphany becomes the source and constant act of having epiphanies.  Philosopher Rudolph Otto (rapper name, I called it) said that the idea of God is the Mysterium Tremendum (the terrible mystery) that exists in every culture.  That is how religion should progress: from immediate king-like deity, to rules and structure, to ideals and theories to disengaged model of behavior and consciousness.  Itâs really the arc that we should read through the bible.  That tyrannical king is an anemic explanation for any of lifeâs big questions so eventually humans in a given group jettison that perception.  Next we move on to rules and restrictions to establish group norms.  These smell like the old king but seem to be more within our own control.  Autonomy feels good after chains.  However these collapse under a different weight--relationships.  We meet people shaped by different rules and restrictions and find, usually to our shock and discomfort that we like them.  They love and speak and dance and pray in ways different from us but, dammit, we like them.  This again forces us to evaluate our orientating beliefs and usually remove them even more from the concrete and tangible portions of our daily lives.  Therefore we become convinced that whatever the âkingâ was and whatever the rules were supposed to direct us toward must be more simple and more pliable.  Do good. Be kind. Everything happens for a reason. Â
Those sort of platitudes are smoke. Â
That is the progression we should see in the bible as the understanding of God evolves.  You can certainly observe the tyrannical king-figure account.  However, there are these nagging whispers that this may  not be predictable at all. Â
God makes females in Godâs image.Â
God refuses to accept a human sacrifice.Â
God reminds âhis peopleâ that he actually has âmore peopleâ.Â
God imagines (wistfully even!) a day in which people can talk to their neighbor without holding their breath. Â
Amidst all the noise of crashing swords and the wailing wounded and the chaos of the earth opening to swallow people whole there are these subtle whispers that this story--this ongoing memoir is something completely different.Â
Abraham Joshua Heschel (NOT a good rapper name) says that the story of the bible is God in search of man.Â
Christians, for centuries have called the phenomenon of God becoming man the Incarnation. Â
And that is where the train jumps off the predictable tracks.Â
Tyrannical religion, rules and cliches canât tolerate a God that puts skin on. Certainly one that puts skin on and then fully embraces human existence.Â
The bible should drift into ethereal platitudes, but instead there is afterbirth and circumcision.Â
If God is a tyrannical Near Eastern king he doesnât care about you beyond what tribute you can supply him with. Â
If God is a set of rules you can satisfy then God doesnât care about you beyond how proficient you are at fitting in. Â
And if God is a cliche then you shouldnât care about God.Â
But, according to the bible, God becomes a human. Â God learns to walk and spits up and struggles with hormones and battles anxiety and depression and makes and unmakes friendships. Â All of the bible, sputtering and clumsy as it may be, drives to this point. Â This is real. Â God has blood and expanding lungs and dirt under his nails.Â
This of course means that God inhabits human experience with a different level of association than controlling it. Â God as man is subject to creation as well as occasionally superseding it. Â God cares about you because God knows, in his bones, what it is to be you.Â
That is where the bible goes. Â That is the evolution. Â And that is better than a ruler or rules or cliches. Â Because with is always better. Â With is the queen of prepositions. Â This means that God is with you when you weep bitterly or when you laugh until you have to excuse yourself. Â God is better than an idea or a force or something you can say without thinking.Â
God who puts skin on is better than where religion typically ends up. If God is your tyrant right now I hope you entertain the idea that there is something better. Â If God is your rules keeping you in and others out I hope you imagine there might be something better. Â If God is a wisp of a cliche to you please believe there is something better.Â
Because reading What to Expect When Youâre Expecting isnât as good as the first time your baby lays on your chest.Â
Because porn isnât as good as sex.Â
Because âlikingâ someoneâs picture isnât as good as hugging them.Â
Because looking at a recipe on pinterest isnât as good as eating your grandmaâs food.Â
Because staring at google maps isnât as good as a road trip.Â
I donât think the bible is perfect.  I think it contains errors and misrepresentations of who God is.  However I do think it is an honest and human product rife with the interjections of Godâs own Spirit.  Maybe Iâm completely wrong.  Maybe I should be more convinced by arguments such as âThe bible says it, I believe it, that settles it!â Â
Or maybe Iâll just keep playing racquetball and see who joins the game.Â