~ We’re Everything To Each Other That We Ever Needed 3: Being Without You Is Like Being Without Myself ~
Pairing: Ethan Torchio x Chiara Russo (fictional character)
Summary: Ethan makes an unexpected decision.
Ethan stormed out of the bathroom and went downstairs to see Damiano sitting on the couch in the living room. When he saw Ethan he immediately stood up.
- Ethan.. fratello.. I’m so sorry.. - Damiano said trying to reach Ethan’s shoulder.
- How dare you call me a brother? Huh? After what you did? - Ethan was furious and nothing would be able to stop him.
- I know I fucked up, but hey, you know I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry - Damiano said clearly feeling guilty.
- You’re not sorry, at least have some balls to fucking admit it. - Ethan stood up in front of him. - You always take everything you want huh? You don’t even care of what other people feel, you just go and grab anything you’d like without any consequences. And you had to do it with Chiara too right? You had to take the only fucking person I truly loved! - Ethan grabbed Damiano’s shirt and it was only a matter of time till he hits his face.
- Ethan I swear I didn’t want that to happen, I was drunk.. - Damiano said trying to stop him.
They were both looking into each other’s eyes, Ethan’s dark from anger, Damiano’s guilty.
- You’re pathetic, I’m not even gonna waste my time on you, you fucking piece of shit! - Ethan let go of Damiano, gave him the last death stare and walked out of the house.
Chiara was overwhelmed. She was sitting at the counter for 15 minutes now after Ethan left her alone and stormed out of the bathroom. She was numb. Her cheeks were red and wet from the tears, her eyes puffy. She’s never seen Ethan that angry. He was always calm, quiet and when something bad was happening he always preferred to talk than argue. But Chiara couldn’t blame him. She was the one who betrayed him and broke his heart.
Chiara slowly stepped off the counter, not really knowing what to do with herself. She went out of the bathroom and picked up the T-shirt from the floor. She took off the heels and the dress and she put on a shirt, sitting on the bed. Chiara knew that she has no right to be in Ethan’s room but she didn’t have enough courage to go downstairs after what she did with Damiano.
How could you do this Chiara? How the fuck could you cheat on Ethan, he was so good to you, always so caring and loving, so polite, what the fuck were you thinking!? - she said to herself and closed her watery eyes.
Moments passed and she heard a quiet knock on the door. She said muffled “come in” and a second later she saw Victoria entering the room. Her face was serious like never before. Chiara figured that she knows about everything.
- Damiano told me what happened. - she said coming up to Chiara and sitting next to her on the bed. - Girl, you fucked up.. - she sighed.
- I know.. - Chiara’s voice broke. - I really didn’t mean for that to happen.. - she started crying.
Victoria wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a warm hug. Chiara didn’t expect that, she thought Victoria will yell at her.
- I know you didn’t want that, Chi. Damiano is so embarrassed, he talked to Ethan and they fought. Ethan stormed out of the house and Damiano locked himself in his room. - Victoria said stroking Chiara’s back gently, trying to calm her down.
- What the fuck was I thinking, Ethan will never want to speak to me again. - she said covering her face and breaking down even more.
- If you really didn’t mean that, Ethan will understand. I’m not saying he will come back to you but give him some time. He loves you and he’s crazy about you. It’s gonna be all good. - Victoria said resting her head on Chiara’s, still stroking her back.
It was evening already and Chiara spent the whole day in Victoria’s room. They talked about what happened and Victoria promised her that she will help her fix everything. Thomas also sat with them for some minutes and told Chiara that even though she fucked up big time, he knows Ethan and he’s sure that they will fix it between each other. Chiara also talked to Damiano which at the beginning was really awkward but then they apologized to each other, hugged and decided to leave it in the past. She also promised him to help him with Giorgia. All that didn’t mean anything though as long as she didn’t fix everything with Ethan, which still didn’t come back home.
Ethan was walking around Rome all day, thinking of what to do. He felt lonely, betrayed and not appreciated at all. He felt like he will never be enough for anyone. He was crying half of the time but had to hide it when some fans were coming up to him to take a picture. He’s never been so broken but after all day wandering around he decided to go back home and have a serious conversation with everyone.
- Can you all come downstairs, per favore? - Ethan said, stepping inside the living room.
Chiara heard his voice and her heart started beating faster, her stomach started hurting really badly. She was stressed and when she looked at Vic, her eyes were full of fear. Victoria took Chiara’s shaking hand and pulled her towards the door. They went downstairs where Ethan was sitting on the couch. When he saw Chiara he was shocked that she was still home. His heartbeat increased and hands started sweating. It’s gonna be a lot harder than I thought - he thought still not letting his eyes off of Chiara.
Girls sat down on the couch opposite Ethan and a minute later Thomas and Damiano joined them and sat next to them. Ethan’s face was serious, without any emotion but inside he felt like he’s gonna explode any minute.
- I have something important to tell all of you. - he said looking at his hands.
They were all looking at him, waiting for the answer when he looked at them one by one.
- I’m leaving the band. And Italy. - he said breathing out all the air he was holding in his lungs for what felt like forever.
- WHAT?! - Victoria raised her voice.
Surprise was un understatement. They were all shocked of what Ethan just told them. Leaving the band? How? Thomas, Vic, Ethan and Damiano were inseparable, when they were arguing it was always temporary because they could never stay mad at each other. But Ethan’s face was serious and they knew he wasn’t joking.
- What do you mean you’re leaving the band? We’re in the middle of the European tour, we have so many festivals arranged for the next months, you can’t just leave Ethan! - Damiano said, deep down knowing he had no right to tell Ethan what to do.
- You see that’s the point! You never care about what I feel, you only think of yourself and what people will say. And I’m always the one left out alone, dealing with everything by myself. You guys don’t give a single fuck about me! You never ask me how I’m doing or if everything is okey! And I’m done, I need a break, from all of you! - Ethan said with his voice raised.
- Ethan please, don’t leave. It’s all my fault, I know, I’m sorry, but don’t leave them just because of what I did.. - she said pleading.
- It’s not only about what you did, it’s about all of you and they way you treated me like air for the past months. I deserve better.
They didn’t know what to say. Ethan never would have thought himself of leaving the band and when he said those words it sounded so unrealistic. He knew the break will bring Måneskin a lot of problems but he didn’t care, he was proud that for once in his life he stood up for himself and didn’t stay quiet like usual.
- Where are you gonna go? - Thomas said quietly with tears in his eyes.
- I’m gonna fly to Portugal, to my family. - Ethan said and he knew there’s no going back.
- For how long? - asked Victoria with a breaking voice.
- I don’t know yet. For some time.
- But you will come back right? To Italy, to us. - Damiano asked.
- I’m not certain. I just know I need a break, to rest and think about everything. - Ethan said.
- When are you leaving? - Chiara asked with her face all red and wet from tears.
- Tomorrow, I can’t stay here any longer. - Ethan said letting his head down.
They were all sitting in the living room for at least an hour. In silence. None of them had courage to say anything and they were all too overwhelmed with Ethan’s decision. They knew that him leaving will break them more than anything.
It’s been four months since Ethan left Italy and Måneskin house never felt so empty. After the first day without him, Thomas, Victoria and Damiano understood that he was the essence of their band. They knew that Ethan was right, they fucked him up and never paid attention to him and his emotions. The three of them were always the loudest and Ethan was always the one taking care of every situation and now when he wasn’t there they felt like everything fell apart.
Chiara was completely shattered. She locked herself in her apartment and didn’t leave for two weeks after Ethan left. After their conversation in the living room Chiara went with him to his room and apologized so many times, cried and begged him to stay. Ethan told her that he understands but he won’t change his mind. A break was what he needed, and he hoped that they will all finally see how much they’ve broken him for the past few months and how much they didn’t appreciate everything he’s done for them.
It was a sunny morning and Ethan was laying on the grass in the garden. His aunt lived in Lisbon right by the Tag river. The weather was amazing and Ethan found himself spending a lot of time at the beach, swimming or just laying on the sand and reading books. He’s never felt so relaxed. Yesterday he face timed with Chiara for the first time since he left. It felt weird to see her and speak to her after such a long time but Ethan missed her more than he thought. They way she always joked around and made him happy. He could see sadness on her face even though she tried not to show it.
- I miss you.. - she said looking at him through the screen and gaining courage to tell him how she really felt.
Ethan didn’t know if he should say it back or change the topic. He wasn’t sure about anything these days. He loved Chiara, of course it didn’t change. He knew that he is able to give her another chance and try to fix their relationship but until he’s back in Italy he didn’t want to bother himself with that. Not until he saw her face on the screen. She was still beautiful, as always and even though Ethan was still hurt, the corners of his lips uncontrollably went up making him smile at the sight of her gorgeous face. Deep down in his heart he knew that he already forgave her.
Ethan was standing in front of Måneskin house. He was nervous. Two days ago he decided to come back to Rome and fix things between him and Vic, Thomas and Damiano. His heartbeat increased when he knocked at the door. He had the keys but after such a long time he figured it would look stupid to just come in and act like nothing ever happened. After a few minutes he saw the door open and Victoria standing in front of him.
- Ethan! - she shouted happily jumping at him and hugging him tight. - I’m so glad you’re back - she whispered into his ear, not letting go of him.
- I’m glad to be back too, Vic. - he said hugging her back.
They pulled away when Ethan saw Thomas running towards him and jumping on his arms. Thomas’ eyes were watery and they both laughed when he kissed Ethan’s cheek.
- I missed you so much, Edgar! - Thomas said jumping off of Ethan’s arms.
- I missed you too, Toni. - Ethan said poking Thomas’ shoulder and smiling to him.
Damiano came downstairs and looked at Ethan surprised. He came up to them and stood in front of him. Ethan looked at him for a couple of seconds with an emotionless face and Damiano thought he’s still mad at him, but then Ethan pulled him into a warm hug. Damiano sighed with a relief and hugged Ethan back.
- I’m sorry, Ethan. I’m happy you’re back, the house was a mess without you. - Damiano said still hugging Ethan.
- Let’s leave it in the past. - Ethan smiled lightly just like he always did, pulling away from Damiano.
They were all back together. Four rockstars who loved each other more than anything.
- We’re so sorry for every single time we hurt you, it will never happen again. - Victoria said putting her hand on Ethan’s back.
- I know you guys didn’t mean that. But I would much appreciate you to pay more attention to me. - he laughed and along with him Vic, Thomas and Damiano.
- Are you gonna meet with her? - Asked Victoria while her and Ethan were sitting at the balcony in her room.
- I don’t know, Vic. I miss her and I really want to see her, I want everything to be back to normal. But she disappointed me and I don’t know if I’m ready yet. - Ethan said. - By the way, how is she? - he asked, looking at Vic.
Chiara wasn’t fine. Even though four months passed and everyone told her that time will help her heal, she found herself thinking of Ethan all the time. She still couldn’t accept the fact that she let him down and she missed him a lot. He was her everything and if she could she would turn back time and change what happened.
- She’s okey, I guess.. She came here yesterday, we invited her for a movie night. She looked fine, but tired. - Vic said.
- Hmm.. She didn’t come here often when I was gone, did she?
- She came here a month after u left. Mainly because she promised Damiano that she will help him get back with Giorgia. After that she came like twice and yesterday. - Vic explained. - She really loves you, Ethan. I know I can’t ask u to talk to her but she really regrets what happened, you’re her everything. - She said, looking back at him.
Ethan knew that he has to meet with Chiara and talk about everything. He wanted to have her back, next to him. He forgave her a long time ago, he loved her too much to be mad at her. But he didn’t know if he’s ready to trust her fully again.
*afternoon, the next day*
“I’m back in Rome, would you want to meet?”. Chiara was looking at the screen of her phone for good 10 minutes, shocked by a message she received from Ethan. She didn’t expect him to text her at all, she thought he won’t speak to her again. Her cheeks turned red and she got nervous. Should I meet him? What am I supposed to do? - she thought still looking at the phone screen. “Yes, I’d love to. When?”. She tapped a message on her phone with shaky hands and let out all the air she’s been holding. “I can come over to you place today. We have to talk about everything”.
Today. She was supposed to meet him today and talk to him after four months without him. She suddenly felt all her breakfast going up her throat. Her face turned red and her stomach started hurting. She felt noxious. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. Her eyes were watery and puffed. After a while spend in front of the toilet puking, Chiara took her phone and texted Ethan. “Sure, see you at 5?” the message said and Chiara couldn’t believe that she will get to see him after such a long time.
It was almost 5 and Chiara found herself running around her apartment cleaning everything and preparing for Ethan. She was about to put the water for a coffee when she heard the door bell ringing. Her hands started sweating and she almost pissed her pants. She slowly opened the door and saw him standing there.
He looked stunning. His hair longer than before, he was dressed in a white buttoned up shirt, tight black jeans and black Dr. Martens. He was so handsome. Chiara gasped at the sight of him.
- Ciao, Chi. - he said with a slight smile on his face.
His voice was calm and deep just as always.
- Ciao, Ethan. - she said, still looking into his eyes.
They were standing in front of each other both not knowing what to do.
- Please, come in. - she said but instead he came up to her and wrapped his arms around her pulling her in to a warm, welcoming hug.
Chiara felt all the time stopped. It was only them standing in a tight hug with each other, enjoying each other’s embrace. Ethan missed her scent and the way she always stood on her tip toes to reach him. She was everything he ever needed and when he finally held her in his arms, he felt like everything was back to normal.
- I missed you so much. - Chiara sobbed into his ear and he squeezed her even tighter.
She couldn’t control herself anymore and she bursted in tears holding on to his neck. Ethan knew that Chiara regretted what happened the minute he saw her sad eyes and he couldn’t control himself either, tears falling down his cheeks.
- Shh.. I’m here, Chi. - he said politely, stroking her back to calm her down.
She pulled away and looked into his eyes.
- I.. - she wanted to say something but Ethan stopped her.
- Let’s come in and sit down. - he gestured at the inside of Chiara’s apartment.
- Yes, yes. - she said and they both entered her flat.
Chiara made a coffee for her and Ethan and they both sat down next to each other on the couch in the living room. They stayed silent for a few minutes just staring at each other and smiling slightly.
- How was Portugal? - Chiara broke the silence, taking a sip of her coffee.
- It was good, weather was really nice. I spent most of the time at the beach reading. - he said also sipping his coffee.
Chiara noticed that Ethan looked a bit different. His arms were more muscular , his chest wider and his thighs bigger. He was so insanely attractive.
- Did you start working out? - she asked surprised.
- Yeah, I had to focus on something and my aunt has a little gym in her garage so I just lifted some weights. - he said chuckling. - So you see the difference? I didn’t know it’s that visible.
- Four months is a long time, of course I see the difference. - she said, letting down her head and looking at her cup.
She wanted to jump at him and kiss him and tell him how much he means to her and that she’s so happy that he’s back.
- Sorry.. I know. - Ethan interrupted her, putting their cups on the coffee table and grabbing Chiara’s hands. - I know you’re sorry and I know you didn’t want any of that to happen. I understand you were drunk. But you hurt me a lot, cazzo.. You broke my heart Chiara. When I saw you with him.. You don’t even know what I felt. I felt like a part of me died. - he said squeezing her hands.
- I know. - she said quietly loosing all the courage to look at him. - I know I hurt you and disappointed you, but I love you, Ethan. I love you more than anyone could ever think and I can’t imagine my life without you. I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me, but believe me, when you left, my whole world shattered. Because being without you is like being without myself. And what am I without myself? Nothing. - she said with tears in her eyes, finally looking at his face.
Ethan couldn’t stop himself. He cupped Chiara’s cheek with his palm and pulled her closer. He stroked her shoulder with his other hand and seconds later she could feel his lips on hers. The kiss was slow, gentle and full of love. They kissed carefully, afraid that one of them will hurt the other. Chiara wrapped her hands around Ethan’s neck and suddenly he pulled her up on his lap. She pulled away and looked at him carefully.
- I forgave you a long time ago. - he said pecking her lips again. - I love you, Chi. And there’s nothing that can change that. - Ethan kissed her again, more passionately this time.
- But.. wait, what does this mean? - she asked, pulling away again.
- I give you another chance. You hurt me but I realized that you didn’t mean it and I’m willing to try again with you. - he said stroking her cheek and looking into her eyes.
Chiara couldn’t have been happier than in this minute. She threw herself on Ethan and hugged him tightly. He leaned his face against her neck and wrapped his arm around her.
- Thank you - she said, kissing his cheek.
- You’re my everything Chi. I can’t live without you. - Ethan said.
He kissed her again and moments later they found themselves in Chiara’s bedroom, making out on her bed. He pulled off her oversized hoodie and she started unbuttoning his shirt. All the fear, sadness and shame disappeared when Ethan kneeled in front of her on the bed, pulling off her shorts along with her panties. Chiara grabbed his belt and after she took it off, Ethan pulled off his jeans and hung over her beautiful naked body. She pulled him closer, grabbing the back of his neck and while running her fingers through his hair, she kissed him with so much desire. She was needy and so was he. They both missed each other’s touch and a feeling of their bodies grinding against each other.
- I love you so much - Chiara said when Ethan kissed her breasts and started trailing his kisses down her stomach.
- You’re all fucking mine. - he said when he reached her thighs.
Ethan spread them apart and the second he laid his lips on her, Chiara let out a loud moan. He started licking her up and she was tugging on his hair. She grabbed the sheets when she felt him licking her entrance and she couldn’t stop moaning his name.
- Ethan.. It feels so good.. - she sighed when he squeezed her hips and looked her in the eyes, still licking her.
At this sight she lost it and a warm feeling spread inside her stomach while she reached her climax. She let out the last moan and a second later Ethan was above her kissing her dry lips.
Chiara wrapped her legs around Ethan’s hips and, looking into her eyes he put his erection inside her, filling her to the last inch. Chiara screamed from pleasure, a familiar feeling of him inside her. He started thrusting slowly. He remembered the way he fucked her in the bathroom and this time he didn’t want to hurt her. Chiara felt different this time. She knew that this sex was like no other. Full of love, reassurance and passion. It was different than any other sex she had with Ethan and she couldn’t get her eyes off of him. His torso was well built, visible muscles on his chest. His arms were stronger and his back was a lot wider than it used to be. His cheek bones were more sharp and Chiara couldn’t stop staring at him while he was pulling inside and out of her.
- Like the view? - he moaned kissing her cheek and his pace went a bit faster.
- Yes.. - she sighed and tugged his hair.
Even though the sex was slower than usual, Ethan and Chiara felt their high coming. He started moving a bit harder and faster but not too fast to enjoy the moment just a bit longer. Chiara felt her walls tightening around Ethan’s erection and she knew she’s gonna cum any second. Ethan grabbed her face and kissed her harshly while hitting every little spot inside her. They were both on the edge when suddenly Ethan’s warm sperm spread inside Chiara and her walls clenched around him. Both screamed each other’s name reaching the climax together.
Ethan fell on Chiara’s body, they were all sweaty and breathing heavily. After a second he pulled out of her and laid next to her, pulling her closer to him, so she could lay on his chest. Chiara leaned her face against Ethan’s neck and put her hand on his chest, stroking I gently.
- I love you, Chi, more than this world has ever seen. - Ethan said and kissed her forehead.
Since then Chiara and Ethan decided to start a proper relationship. They loved each other more than ever and Ethan knew that it was a good decision to give her another chance because Chiara didn’t leave him once, even for a second. She was constantly trying to show him how much he means to her and she was completely crazy about him.
- I do - Chiara said, smiling.
She was standing in front of Ethan, in a beautiful white long dress, holding his hands. Victoria’s sobbing could be heard in the back.
- Do you Ethan Torchio take Chiara Russo to be your wife, to have and hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until you are parted by death?
Ethan squeezed Chiara’s hands and smiled to her widely.
- I do. - he said and Thomas bursted in tears.
- I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.
Ethan grabbed Chiara’s face with his both hands and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. She wrapped her hands around his neck, kissing him back and smiling. Everyone started cheering, crying and clapping their hands.
Chiara was nothing without Ethan. Ethan was something with Chiara. Together they were everything to each other that they ever needed.
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Wow, that was long but I was so excited to finish it that I lost the count of words haha!
I hope you enjoyed these 3 parts.
Thank you so much for reading! 😘
Requests are opened if you’d like me to write anything specific ❤️
Tag list [ @teenyweenynightghost , @superchrystaldrug ]
