Mella's manic adventures

here's where I document all the weird shit I do and think while manic

[maniaadventures]

when you know you are going manic but can't bring yourself to care

[maniaadventures]

me: wow I feel so much better; I'm happy; I can paint; maybe the doctors right and I'm stable

me at me: skip your meds. do something bad. something you'll regret. scare everyone you know with your behaviour

[maniaadventures]

thanks to my doctor I now have to ask myself

am I faking the mania? is it just stress? am i really vibrating or just hallucinating that i am? i am really hallucinating or am I hallucinating that I'm hallucinating? am i just hypomanic with delusions? am i just making everything up?

or am I actually manic and it's just that no one believes me?

[maniaadventures]

Mixed mania mood be like: I'm crying but I'm real excited about it

[maniaadventures]

Bipolar disorder - a poem

Sometimes it feels like i am drowning in my head.

Or like I’m lost.

In a giant labyrint

With endless corridors

And no exist.

Sometimes it feels like it’s all to much.

All the “shouldn’t”’s

“You shouldn’t be awake at 3 AM”

“You shouldn’t have to take so much medicine”

“You shouldn’t be so worried”

“You shouldn’t be so sad”

There are a lot of things that “shouldn’t”

I shouldn’t have been so alone

I shouldn’t have been so scared

I shouldn’t have hurt so much

They shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, it shouldn’t

But it did.

Being bipolar

I’m sorry – no

Having bipolar disorder

Is a lot like being handcuffed to a hurricane

And all you can do

Is being dragged around

[maniaadventures]

Mania + Period = ultimate moodswings

[twenty-going-on-eighty]

My friend: Wow you're up early.

Me: I woke up at 7 am and didn't even go to bed until after 4:30 am...

My friend: How do you do that?

Me: Insomnia and an unstable brain chemistry

My friend: I would not be able to function like that.

Me: Believe me, neither can I.

[maniaadventures]

I'm gonna do stupid things this night. I feel it. at least I've blocked my savings account so i can't do impulse buys. but that's about what I can do. I wouldnt even get committed if I wanted to because they wouldn't take me in. they said so this morning. it's only my self control left and that's thin to begging with

[elfiethewickedcancelled]

me: i hate tea

me: *drinks it anyway*

me four cups in of black tea with high caffeine levels: tea iS GREAT

[maniaadventures]

me after sleeping 8 hours for once: huh maybe my mania's over

me literally an half an hour later: v i b r a t i n g

[maniaadventures]

my body: finally decided to sleep

rational me: GREAT

manic me: yo, what the fuck was that??

[maniaadventures]

my body: finally caves in to sleep

my brain: perfect time for horrific nightmare that the you scared of the dark

[elfiethewickedcancelled]

should I take a random bus an when maybe a train and just see where I end up????

[maniaadventures]

“are my friends being boring or are they being sane” - an autobiography

[maniaadventures]

apparently the vote is in for "sane"

[maniaadventures]

"are my friends being boring or are they being sane" - an autobiography

[maniaadventures]

my brain and body: we! need! sleep! we! are! shutting! down!

also my brain and body: pfffft sleep??? don't know her

pic credit to @fairyvany

[maniaadventures]

sleep,,, maybe I should like sleep? maybe,,,