I Think I Saw You In My Sleep, Darling

A literal starvingartist Blog of everything and anything.

[manic-dreams]

So inspired to recover

[manic-dreams]

I’m so envious of those who are recovering and able to keep track of their recovery. I can’t tell when I’m recovering and when I’m not anymore

[csa-survivor-confessions]

remembering your abuse years later does not make it any less real. you might think it’s a lie, or fake, or you are making it up. you wouldn’t make something that horrible up. what was done was horrific, but it’s in the past. by repressing the memory your body chose to survive. an important quote from the book The Body Keeps The Score is “it takes enormous trust and courage to allow yourself to remember.” you remembered now for a reason. you are stronger. you are smarter. no, you can’t go back and change it. I know it hurts. I know it’s not fair. it’s hard to see your abuser every day. it’s hard to not see your abuser because you don’t know if they’re violating other kids. your abuser doesn’t matter here. you matter. you’re alive and surviving and here today for a reason. your angels are protecting you.

[sunshineysprinkles]

It’s okay if you’re not out yet. Everyone comes out on their own time and there’s no shame in taking a long time to do so. Wait until you’re comfortable with it and it’s safe for you to. You are still valid even when you’re closeted. 

[self-care-suggestion]

Get up when you want. Stay up late. Do the things that you love. Run, walk, climb, swim, hug a tree. Love unapologetically. Read a book. Or don’t. Give your time. Fail a lot and laugh about it when you succeed. Smile. Live a life that makes you feel fulfilled.

[samctwrites]

“The pen and paper command me to open my heart up to them before anyone else”

— sam c.t

[valtsv]

look i’m not saying that children shouldn’t be allowed to play video games or anything like that but the fact that kids as young as EIGHT are using misogynistic, homophobic and racial slurs in casual conversations because they heard their favorite streamer or opponent on a video game say it is something that urgently needs addressing

[bpd-horizon]

me, who has done nothing but take time to myself for the last two weeks: i need some time to myself

[its-so-traumatizing]

Something people don’t understand about child abuse

One of the things that I really hate is that people don’t understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.

I’m a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.

My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.

A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.

My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.

There’s no special “criteria” that you should fill in order to be a “valid” survivor, and there’s no specific way you should act if you were abused.

People respond to their traumas differently and it’s okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.

[manic-dreams]

I will never not reblog this. So so important. Also worth noting that a csa survivor can maybe go through variations of these reactions and moods can change from one day to the next when addressing trauma

[its-so-traumatizing]

Something people don’t understand about child abuse

One of the things that I really hate is that people don’t understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.

I’m a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.

My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.

A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.

My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.

There’s no special “criteria” that you should fill in order to be a “valid” survivor, and there’s no specific way you should act if you were abused.

People respond to their traumas differently and it’s okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.

[heartbreakclubs]

i can go from euphoric to extremely depressed and suicidal and vice versa so fast it’s scary

[softgloom]

list of Moods I have:

???

“this is the worst I’ve ever felt and I’ve never been sadder than this single moment in my whole life”

“this is the best I’ve ever felt and I’ve never been happier than this single moment in my whole life”

ANGER

?????

fear !!

[iconicallykitty]

me 30 mins ago: a crying mess on the bathroom floor while eating cherries 

me now: lmao that was so wild 

[zarathustra-would-be-proud]

[mentallyillsuggestions]

emotions are not permanent even though it sometimes feels the opposite. this will pass

[blueberryborderline]

being constantly semi-dissociated is a bitch like you’ll be halfway through a conversation and then you’re like. wait what did I say where am i

[gameandwatch-deactivated2013043]

i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out