women hate how little it takes for me to be happy

alexa | she/her | 24 | bisexual play inscryption (2021)

[dogpuppy]

[chateauofmymind]

best kinds of characters either:

is/has been an active suicide risk

doesn’t or cannot consider suicide a real option and so is left with an inarticulable feeling of circling the drain

[funyuns]

[crimewave420]

i’m always saying this bro

[confines]

how it feels being the tortured pervert

[confines]

tortured pervert tuesday

[ontologicalevil]

that's my emotional support bad person

[sacred-portal]

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves

[toskarin]

can't stop laughing at the idea of someone going on tumblr and searching "deformed erotic visage" hoping to find porn

[geyfrog]

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[funkmclovin]

$30 is the new $5 but $100 is still $100 #Fucked

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[diviniaviti]

murder suicide is awesome to me bc its like annnnnd im coming with you

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[taking you aside in the group masturbation vc] this place is a den of vipers... you are the only one I can trust

[fruitsoftheape100]

A Fog Upon The Field, The First Cold Sighs Of Dawn

Entrenched, The Platoon Gathers To Put Their Helmets On…

[fruitsoftheape100]

Four Years We Lay In Waiting

All Huddled In The Grime

Until “At Last,” THE LIEUTENANT Said,

“I Do Believe It’s Time.”

He Brought His Bugle To His Lips;

Cold Silence Cracked Like Ice

He Blew The Horn With All His Might:

Once, Then Twice, Then Thrice

He Roused Us Then, His Soldiers Eight,

And Checked Our Bayonets.

“Let’s Rendezvous With Fate,” He Said,

“OVER THE TOP, CADETS!”

[fruitsoftheape100]

THE LIEUTENANT Led His Soldiers Then,

He Led Them Right Over The Top

One By One I Saw Them Go,

One By One I Saw Them Stop.

The First To Die Was SARGENT TONGUE,

His Body Blown To Bits

For A Stone Launched ‘Ere By Trebuchet

Did Smash The Ape To Grits

[fruitsoftheape100]

Next Went LITTLE MICKEY,

Who Passed Without A Peep

The Sneak Fell Down A Punji Pit

One Thousand Meters Deep

[fruitsoftheape100]

Then MR. RASCAL Perished,

Although His Fate I Did Not See

One Moment, There Was A Little Guy

The Next, Artillery

[fruitsoftheape100]

After That, SPOON LICKER

Charging Forward With Great Force,

Was Cut In Half Most Cleanly

By Papers Of Divorce

[fruitsoftheape100]

KILLING SPHERE, The Next One

His Death I Mustn’t Speak

All I Can Say Of The Loathsome Fellow

Is That He Simply Sprung A Leak

[fruitsoftheape100]

FUNNY GUY, I Hate To Say,

Failed To Survive The Raid

The Chap Slipped On A Banana Peel

And Was Impaled On His Own Blade

[fruitsoftheape100]

The Bell Rung Then For KINGDOM COME,

Who Had His Gun Into A Bomb Recast

The Lout Forgot This, Then Took Aim

He Perished In The Blast

[fruitsoftheape100]

That’s When THE LIEUTENANT,

Seeing His Troops’ Demise,

Turned To Me Most Solemnly

And Looked Into My Eyes:

“Go,” He Said Discreetly,

“And Let Me Die In This Disgrace;

Survive, Boy, I Beseech Thee:

Go Fuck Your Wife Posthaste.”

[fruitsoftheape100]

What Else For ME?

I Turned Away And Ran Like Never Before

And That’s How I Survived The Battle

And Fucked My Wife After The War

[fruitsoftheape100]

Welcome To My Platoon

[fruitsoftheape100]

Its Time To Meet Your Fellows Soldiers…

[fruitsoftheape100]

This Is THE LIEUTENANT

No One Knows His Name

But When He Moves His Soldiers

It Is Like Checkers-Game

[fruitsoftheape100]

This Is SARGENT TONGUE

He Can Lift Up Stones

And If You Make Eye Contact

He Will Break Your Bones

[fruitsoftheape100]

This Is LITTLE MICKEY

The Sneaky Little Fellow

He Once Killed Guard With Credit Card

Without A Single Bellow

[fruitsoftheape100]

This Is MR. RASCAL

He Is The Size Of Flea

Where Are You Mr Rascal

You Are So Hard To See

[fruitsoftheape100]

The Fifth Is SPOON-LICKER

He Licks All Spoons With Glee

Holding Them With Both Hands

For They Are Slippery

[fruitsoftheape100]

KILLING-SPHERE, The Sixth One

His Cheeks Can Produce Milk

With It, He Drowns His Enemy

A Truly Loathsome Ilk

[fruitsoftheape100]

Here’s The Seventh: FUNNY GUY

He Knows How To Crack Wise

And Always Can Be Counted On

When You Need A Disguise

[fruitsoftheape100]

Here Comes Eighth: “KINGDOM-COME”

With Big Cigar In His Mouth

Our Demolitions Expert

For When Things Are Going South

[fruitsoftheape100]

The Ninth Is ME

Im New Guy Never Fought Before

I Just Cant Wait To Get Home

To Fuck My Wife After The War

[philcollinsenjoyer]

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

[prettyboyhere]

sister post to this