You get me !! Ive seen SO much about toddler ilya but babyre or teenre ilya.. they really get me.. (I might be projecting as an ilya kin but wtv) šš¤ Teenre Ilya pushes and pushes trying to prove that hes not good and that whoever should just leave him. and shane just.. stays. and hes calm about it. he doesnt hit or yell or throw things. I think during one of these episodes he admits he WANTS shane to hit him, because feeling young(12-15) again without those things feels wrong. I hope its ok I mention this but I feel like teenre ilya, at the start of all of this, would push for sexual things a lot. I think its assumed that around those ages he started coping with stuff like that so its been in my brain ever since i started thinking of teenre ilya. Shane would obviously be stressed out like.. no??? YOU'RE 13!! THAT'S NOT OK!! and shane would have to teach him how to have a "normal" teenage life. Especially when they start to feel ok with it, maybe Ilya makes a seperate social media account on some things and goofs around on there. I think he would also regress to teen ages around cliff a lot, but not really knowing.
Can take a picture and block out the other stuff if you arent ok with showing that !!
I think the thing that is fundamentally different with teen ilya is he doesn't trust Shane like he does in every other headspace
He understands that he and Shane are together as adults when they're equals, and in his younger headspaces he recognises Shane as an adult figure aligned with his mama, but in a pre-teen to teen headspace he has learnt that adults, especially men, are actively dangerous and Shane is not an exception
He starts already on the defensive - he's just this big ball of angry kid, he's so used to living in fear and trying to appease his father and fighting with his brother and doing stupid shit to lash out which would then piss his dad off and set off the building explosion at home
Being out of that environment doesn't really help tbh bcs he's so unsettled by it being missing, he doesn't understand Shane and that's terrifying, he keeps being calm and reassuring and telling Ilya everything is on his terms, Shane designates a spare room as 'his' that Shane will never step in without permission while Ilya is teening and he can hide in there if he wants, or Shane is going to be working in the office for the next 3 hours if Ilya wants to come use the PlayStation, and there's lots of snacks on the side Ilya can help himself to
As far as ilyas concerned there is a way things are supposed to go and a way he's inherently supposed to be treated and he'll just have to push and push until he gets the right reaction from Shane - at best he's short tempered, difficult to be around, throwing his weight around and shouting insults at Shane over basically nothing, at his worst he is, actively breaking things and harming himself, getting in Shane's face, screaming at him to just hit Ilya already I know you want to (because doesn't everybody want to hit their kids? That's normal?)
Whenever Shane does find the situation needs him to intervene (there's a broken plate on the floor, Ilya is gonna break his hand if he keeps punching walls etc) he is always touching ilya a minimal amount for the least amount of time, but he can see how terrified Ilya is of him in those moments that it just cements for him thst he's doing the right thing, he just needs to hold steady and show Ilya he isn't going to flip out suddenly no matter what
I can see a couple of scenarios where Ilya tries to initiated intimate contact with Shane, one being he knows of course Shane doesn't want that from little Ilya, but this Ilya is a whole 14 years old he's an ADULT and he goes drinking and clubbing and has had some experiences that he thinks of as consensual but 15 years down the line a therapist is going to talk through 'informed consent' and why that can't be given by underage teens with him but he isn't there yet in this headspace, and Shane isn't hitting him and is giving him food and asking to hang out with him and Ilya is like oh I totally know what's going on I've got this (he does not and he does not). Its,,, a painfully embarrassing evening, Shane is mortified and trying to explain to Ilya that he is a child, Shane will never be interested in /that/ with him okay? And ilya is like mad and kinda rejected like trying to convince Shane he's good and Shane is like nope nope nope nope and immediately starts looking up content to explain consent to children (teen Ilya does not care for the pantosaurus song but as a toddler he finds it a bop and Shane is happy for it to have any impact it might have on him in this headspace)
The other situation I can imagine is Shane, being that he is human, feels like he might lose his cool during one of Ilya's attempts to rile him up so tells Ilya that he's sorry but he needs to go sit alone in his room for a bit until he's ready to talk to Ilya about what just happened and Ilya is like. Oh god I did it I pushed him over the edge. Oh fuck actually if this guy so rarely loses his cool and I finally did enough he's going to beat me to a pulp and Ilya is spiralling like maybe Shane has gone to get a belt, or a chain or some horrible thing, and is getting so scared he thinks he should try and lesson his punishment so he goes to Shane's room and knocks softly and Shane let's him in and ilya so meekly says he's sorry and Shane watches him look so dejected that he asks Ilya if he wants a cuddle and Ilya takes that as confirmation he's on the right track - the situation ends much the same as the other but with Shane sadder about it over embarrassed
Ilya does eventually settle in to teen regressing with Shane and feel safe but it's never gonna be perfect, and it's definitely not linier progress, there's a lot of setbacks, it can't be helped but things happen like Ilya over hearing Shane getting frustrated and kinda shouty on a phone call and he spends the day kinda hiding away and being really meek until Shane figures it out and is so sorry and is like it's not an excuse but I want you to know I was talking about someone who is trying to defund charity support from the government in our province with my mum, I shouldn't of shouted that was wrong of me I'm very sorry and ilya is like. Huh... okey
Ilya getting to try out 'being a teenager' with Shane's help... oh I know Shane is so serious about parental protections... he's one of those caregivers that's like you see something that worries you please bring it to me!! You won't ever be in trouble I promise, and also if you're going to drink please do it in the house we can have a beer or something, no hard liquer okay? Is that fair? Bcs he kind of has to accept Ilya is a bit of a wild child and trying to put a hard no on anything that Shane is going to backfire
Ohhh I think bcs Shane also didn't do much Normal Teen Stuff while being obsessed with hockey he goes to Rose for advice and gets like a slumber party movie watch list, and Rose gets to befriend Ilyas teen social media's to send him posts she thinks he'll like
Teen Ilya likes curling up on the couch away from Shane but every so often showing him a funny tiktok then going back to his own space (Shane doesn't always get what's funny but he's happy Ilya is initiating social interactions with him)
He definitely regresses around Marly without realising it - as soon as he hears 'where's my boy!!???' He's all pumped up and excitable, Cliff definitely sees himself as an older brother to Ilya, they don't really acknowledge it ever but they're super playful together and always trying to push into each others space, just like taking a 5 second break to wrestle then go back to whatever they were doing
As much as Ilya is constantly asking for consent when hes big, he does NOT understand it at all when he is teen regressed. Especially saying "we are married, Ša? Then its fine". Shane trying to calmly explain with the videos and with his therapist later that no, this is a completely different situation, and just because they are married doesnt mean blanket consent. It takes teenre Ilya a long long time to understand this. Shane would totally be all over parental protections, maybe they agree when Ilya is big that Shane should also have the login to monitor. I would also like to say at the beginning, no one realizes what exactly these moods are. They have dealt with baby Ilya, with toddler and kid Ilya, but teen Ilya is has never been heard of to even Ilya himself. Its just him being pissy and upset and hiding. It takes a long time with Ilya, Shane, and his therapist to realize- oh. the last time I felt like this was a young teen.- and that yea this is regressing too. It takes so long to accept. Teenre for Ilya is mainly being able to express the hurt and anger he always had in a (usually, hopefully, they are working on it) safe way. He definitely tries to punch walls and mirrors, maybe other people, but no person will actually hurt him back. Yea he knows he had a bad childhood and teenhood(?) but now hes realizing how much hes actually held onto about it, letting him experience how it is kind of supposed to be. Along with this, teenre ilya isnt physically much different than big ilya. Babyre ilya and kid ilya have worse coodination, dont like big clothes, etc etc. But teenre? could totally present as big ilya if he needed to. Leading to: ilya TOTALLY going places teen regressed. Safely, yes, Yuna is not letting the fans or news outlets close to her kid as best as possible. But the movies, arcade, restaurants, put put golf (is so boring but whatever), etc. He WILL have fun outside the house because he CAN. (with supervision) Ilya is usually mortified after. When he is big, he is apologizing so much. It bothers him even more than baby regressing. He KNOWS hes an absolute shit when he was a teen, and now its happening again. He feels lighter, yes, but every time he feels bad for Shane having to deal with it. Along with that, also falling insanely more in love with Shane every time. How is he so good with kids, let alone teens? Teens as difficult as HIM?
Shane taking Ilya out for fun teen activities!!!!! They're just goofing off together and there's no pressure to actually be good at the things they're doing or get better at them and he's not trying to bring home a trophy to make everyone proud they're just playing mini golf with Shane's parents or seeing how many tokens they can get at the arcade and picking out silly toys from the prize booth
