Symbolism in Don't Ever Wipe Tears Without Gloves
I’m still very emotional about Don’t Ever Wipe Tears Without Gloves (Torka aldrig tårar utan handskar in the original Swedish), and starting to think about the symbolism in the series made me even sadder.
The recurring scenes in which Rasmus writes his name and Benjamin leaves his handprint on a glass door particularly interest me. I came to the conclusion that they represent the boys’ attempt to leave their mark on the world and, perhaps, to have their life and identity be validated as important.
Somewhat, though, it seems like that innocent but powerful process of affirmation doesn’t quite work — or, at least, that its success, effects and duration are limited. His own name that Rasmus traces in a window’s steam and spells out with nutshells on the beach will fade away with time, while Benjamin’s handprint is erased shortly after by is father. To me, this could mean two things:
Society’s effort to repress or obliterate something about the boys that they would like to openly proclaim and experience, i.e. their homosexuality
This is particularly evident in Benjamin’s father complaining that his son stained the immaculate door he just cleaned (the impeccable lifestyle and religious doctrine his family follows), and subsequently wiping away the offending stain — which he later truly does when his wife and he efface Benjamin out of their lives for being gay.
The theme of erasure and non-existence, in fact, is very prominent in the series, especially through the constant fear of being ingen(nothing). Rasmus clearly fears this in connection to his relationship with Benjamin, which he wants to celebrate in the open and not have to hide, despite the difficulties associated with coming out. In addition, one can extend the trope to include an anxiety with having one’s identity as a gay man be ignored, repressed and taken away. The fact that Bengt, Lars-Åke and Rasmus remain officially closeted after their death brings the theme of erasure to a climax by suggesting that society will always treat those homosexual men and their genuine identity as ingen.
The transience of life, which is too easily and quickly washed away by the tides of time
One may see the motif of the vit älg (white moose) as adding to the trope of impermanence, although it is difficult to determine in exactly what way. In the series, white moose are said to be exceptionally rare creatures one normally sees only once in a lifetime, and they’re associated with magical powers and with Rasmus’ youth and innocence. Maybe the animal could be said to represent Rasmus’ beautiful uniqueness which can be glimpsed but shortly before it passes into memory. I believe, in any case, that the white moose imagery is tightly connected to Sara and Harald, who are the only ones to see the animal twice. Perhaps the suggestion is that Rasmus’ parents never properly acknowledge the originality of their son and remain blind to it until and even after his death, when they forbid Benjamin to attend the funerals.
The symbolism of the flowering trees, which is particularly prominent in the last episode as Benjamin reflects on his friends’ fate, references transience in a perhaps even more intense fashion: it implies that gay men dying of AIDS wither in the spring of their life, and that blossoming youth is but temporary. The flowers decorating Rasmus’ bedside table in the hospital function as a subtle reminder of that message.
I also interpret the several references to frost (which takes “those who loved the most, those who were filled with love”) as having a comparable meaning. When Sara laments that her flowers have withered because of the cold and remarks that there isn’t supposed to be frost at that time of the year, we are reminded of the unforgiving harshness of AIDS killing youths in their bloom. It is painfully ironic that Sara’s own son, like her flowers, will end up perishing from the frost.
It seems, therefore, that the symbolism of the show points to natural and social causes surrounding the terrible situation many gay men are in during the eighties. I find such imagery very sophisticated and powerful, because it also brings in the aspects of innocence (and the loss thereof), youth and maturation which are so crucial to the story.
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