Something to Hope for

I'm just trying to figure out how to be happy with who I am and who I am becoming. INFP

[francoanglo]

[mar-garitas]

"Lizzie McGuire" First Episode Trivia Test

This "Lizzie McGuire" First Episode Test Is Basically Impossible

Get ready for some intense nostalgia.

I'll be impressed if anyone gets 12/12 on the first try.

But naturally I did because Hilary Duff is my queen

[ryebreadgf]

’cold showers are actually much better for you’ I don’t care if they gave me the power to manipulate time. you can pry scorching hot showers out of my dead hands. and even if I got time manipulation powers I would just use them to take more hot showers. btw

[vibrantessence]

[mar-garitas]

If my therapist doesn't respond to me and waits until I see her next (over a week) to address my recent sh I'm gonna use that as fuel to continue even moreso

[mar-garitas]

does a non-response mean I'm good to go? Is this subtle permission she's giving me?

Would she be incredibly happy for me if I actually did what I'm supposed to and not start making up excuses? Yes she would be.

I guess we'll see

[mar-garitas]

If my therapist doesn't respond to me and waits until I see her next (over a week) to address my recent sh I'm gonna use that as fuel to continue even moreso

[anxeious]

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[mar-garitas]

How many times is too many times to email my therapist on NYE?

[mar-garitas]

I don't think I can ever hurt myself in the way or to the extent that I used to. Any attempt literally feels futile. But it also feels like the very least I could do.

I need him to be okay before I can be okay. But that's not fair to me and it's no way to wait around living

[mar-garitas]

Current thoughts and goals from therapy

I only ever want to hurt myself after feeling like I can't fix his problems and can't fill the empty holes in his life.

I feel like I am holding him back in the way that he doesn't feel the need to move forward with his life because I'm still around. I feel like if I wasn't around for him, he'd be more likely to literally move and start over somewhere else.

It sucks being a 35 year old man with nothing going on in his life, but he's stuck.

With that being said, in therapy we talked about (as a we always do) the overwhelming guilt I feel when I can't be there for him 100% of the time. Now we are trying to reframe by thinking of it as it being good for us both to not be around for each other all the time. If I can't be there for him all the time, maybe he will feel even more lonely and do something about it? Ugh idk how this makes me feel.

It's hard trying to reframe feeling bad for not being around all the time into it being better for him for me to not be around all the time.

[mar-garitas]

I lightly "tried" the thing that's sharp, just to see how sharp it was for future reference and it is in fact quite sharp

[mar-garitas]

Last night I had a dream that I hurt myself because I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

And now I've realized I do have something at home I could use and now the anxiety is risingggg

[falseknees]

We all are.

[mar-garitas]

I woke up to a text from him that said

"I'm in trouble...I think. I'm spiraling"

He's a great friend for me when I'm struggling, like last week he helped me so much just by being there with me when I couldn't be alone.

But I don't think I am capable of doing that for him. Only because I'm incapable of not taking on his pain and making it my own. There is 99% I will end up self harming depending on how this goes.

[caats]

[only-cat-memes]

Your daily dose of cat memes