Lodi/Male Guardian #42. I think you'll understand what I mean with this one.
A little twist to the interpretation of this one, and it gets a subtitle. Delighted to write this for you, I hope you enjoy it.
Lodi/Male Guardian ...out of pride.
It's not hard for Lodi to notice the glances the Guardian throws his way. It's not hard to unload some of the weight on his shoulders to the Guardian once he finds out the state of the world. He kept it together for Ikora, but for the Guardian, he lets some of his grief rise, then fall. In a way, he's grateful he's still human enough to cry.
When Lodi offers to trade knowledge for knowledge, he expects one or two things might interest the Guardian, but to his surprise and delight, the other man's face lights up and he can barely contain his smile when he says, "All? Is that an option?"
Lodi's answering smile is radiant.
Later, when they go back to Earth, there's more than glances. There's casual touches and smiles, then hugs.
He accepts everything with the same grace he did when he accepted Mr. Drifter's flirtations and Mr. Saint's friendship. The time when advances like that would be terrifyingly risky are barely a blip in Earth's past a millennia ago, and he's ready for things to be different -- better.
They start with the salsa lessons, and Welsh, and it's not long at all before Lodi is laughingly quizzing the Guardian on his Cymraeg the same time that he does his footwork.
The shared meals that start off as meeting for lunch in the Bazaar turn into Lodi cooking dinner for the Guardian at his flat, and eventually, overnight visits.
Neither one has directly addressed what's blooming between them; they dance around it just as easily as they salsa around Lodi's living room.
It's close to Solstice, nearly a year after they first met, when Lodi finally admits to himself what he's feeling. Despite things being more open, the old, buried fears roll in their graves, and he has a brief moment of doubt.
What if? What if what if what if?
Still, he never got anywhere by being overly cautious. If he was that kind of man, he'd still be in the DEO office, oblivious to all of... well... everything.
He knows, fundamentally knows, that things are different now, but he can still remember things that he'd witnessed that he'd rather forget.
His heart knows better than his mind, in this case.
When the Guardian knocks on his door -- completely unnecessarily, the man has a keycard, Lodi answers with a laugh at the silly little game they play.
"Oh, fancy meeting you here!" The Guardian says with a grin.
"What a coincidence!" Lodi laughs, then notices the Guardian has one hand behind his back. "Now I'm suspicious," he teases.
The Guardian pulls a bouquet of colorful flowers out from behind his back and presents it with a little bow, smiling all the while.
"Oh! Thank you," Lodi smiles.
"You busy? I have something I want to show you," the Guardian says.
"Never too busy for you! Let me just put these in some water," Lodi says, hastening to find a jar suitable. He leaves the bouquet in the center of the dining room table, enjoying how it brightens the room with just its presence.
Much like the Guardian, he thinks, taking his hand as they head out into the City. Today, I'll tell him today.
As they walk the streets, Lodi begins to realize there's some kind of festival going on. There are people everywhere, musicians playing, dancing on the sidewalks, groups of people moving from place to place, and the funniest thing of all, colors everywhere, especially rainbows.
Lodi begins to notice the couples and trios, and his heart leaps at the same time the old fears knot into his stomach. He stops walking, and the Guardian takes another step before he's stopped by Lodi still clinging to his hand.
"I need to tell you something, before I lose my nerve."
"All right? Here, let's go sit down," the Guardian replies. He leads Lodi to a bench beneath a tree, near a band playing.
Lodi turns the Guardian's hand palm up in his own, tracing his fingertips gently over the other man's as he gathers his thoughts.
At last he looks up at the Guardian and meets his eyes.
"I love you," he says quietly. "Have for a long time. I've... never been in love like this. Honestly never thought it would happen... stuff always got in the way, before..."
He swallows hard. "And now... even though..." He stops and looks around, then gestures to everything with his free hand. "I'm still... I worry."
The Guardian threads their fingers together, then lifts Lodi's hand to his lips. "I love you, too. And same. I understand where you're coming from, but things are different now, Lodi," he says. "We don't have to hide... and you don't have to be afraid."
"That's a relief," Lodi whispers. He's still a little shaken, but as the Guardian leans forward to embrace him warmly and the world doesn't end, he relaxes. Then, to his surprise and delight, the Guardian begins singing along with the band playing nearby.
It feels like the most natural thing in the world to stand back up and shift his hands low around the Guardian's waist, then lead him in a slow, swaying dance to the music.
"Um novo tempo há de vencer..." the Guardian sings, smiling gently at Lodi. "Pra que a gente possa florescer..."
Lodi's smile grows, and he sings the next line, "E baby, amar, amar..."
The Guardian presses his forehead to Lodi's, his smile brilliant, as their voices join in harmony, "Sem temer..."
Lodi stops moving to sway in place, holding the Guardian in his arms. Their wide, breathless smiles slowly collapse into warm softness as Lodi tips his head just slightly, and presses his mouth to the Guardian's, who returns the kiss sweetly.
The world doesn't end, no one harasses them, and Lodi finally feels proud that he can accept what they are -- two men in love, without fear.
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