shine @margxteen - Tumblr Blog

Until you choose me - Part 14

TW : age gap, little smut, arguing, manipulation, cheating

Words : 4.6k

A/N : putting another gif of what Ben looks like so you can FEEL how fucked it this is 😩 👇🏻

You returned to the station in, settled behind your desk, and worked through the remaining reports waiting for you. Everything felt normal again, enough to make you question whether the last few hours at the ranch had happened at all or if it was a dream. But you could still feel some of his cum inside you, so you knew it was real.

A little before the end of your shift, your phone buzzed beside your keyboard, Ben. You glanced toward Gator’s office before opening the message.

Ben : Hey. Are you busy after work bunny ? I finally found a new car and I’m supposed to pick it up tonight. would you come with me ?

You stared at the screen for a few seconds, your first instinct was to make an excuse as you weren’t particularly interested in spending the evening looking at a car. But then you remembered the hotel, the spa and all the dinners Ben had paid for without letting you contribute once. And you didn’t have anything else planned, so you typed back.

- : Sure. I’ll pick you up after work.”

His response came back almost immediately.

Ben : Seriously ? Thank you bunny. Was supposed to go with my dad but after the stunt he pulled yesterday no fucking way

You almost laughed, knowing damn well why he pulled that ‘stunt’ yesterday and locked your phone before returning to work.

When the clock finally reached the end of your shift, you saved the last document and gathered your things. Your eyes drifted toward Gator’s office as the door was open. He stood beside his desk with two deputies, all three of them leaning over a spread of papers. He looked busy, way too busy to notice you leaving, or maybe he noticed and simply couldn’t react.

Either way, you didn’t wait, you slipped your bag over your shoulder and walked out of the station without saying goodbye.

The drive to the ranch didn’t take long. As you turned onto the dirt road, you spotted Ben almost immediately. He was sitting on the porch steps with his phone in one hand, his good arm resting across his knee. The moment he heard your car approaching, his head lifted and a wide smile spread across his face. He got to his feet before you had even parked and by the time you unlocked the passenger door, he was already pulling it open.

“Hey bunny.” He climbed inside, tossed a folded piece of paper onto his lap, and leaned across the center console. Before you had time to react, he quickly kissed you. It seemed familiar to him, like it was already something the two of you did. Your body tightened for a second but he didn’t seem to notice. He pulled back wearing the same bright smile. “Thanks for doing this.”

“Of course.” You forced your shoulders to relax. “So where are we going ?” He unfolded the paper and read out the address.

“It’s not far, maybe forty minutes.” You entered it into the GPS on your phone before pulling away from the ranch while Ben settled back into the passenger seat. “I’m so excited, I’ve been looking for weeks.”

“What did you get ?” He grinned.

“I’m not telling you.” You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow.

“You invited me to pick it up, but you won’t tell me what it is ?”

“I want to see your reaction.” He replied, smile still plastered on his face.

“You’re smiling like someone who bought something stupid.” He laughed and shook his head.

“You’ll see bunny.” The ranch disappeared behind you as you reached the main road. Conversation came easily after that, Ben told you about every car he had almost bought before changing his mind. You teased him about how long it had taken while he complained about Charlotte sending him increasingly ridiculous suggestions.

And yet, every time Ben looked at you with that open, uncomplicated affection, your mind wandered back to Gator, to his hands on your waist, to the things he had promised and to the look in his eyes when he said he couldn’t stay away from you. Ben kept talking beside you, completely unaware that your thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

About forty minutes later, you pulled into the dealership's parking lot and Ben practically bounced in his seat. “This is it.” You parked near the entrance and followed him inside, a salesman greeted him almost immediately.

“Mr. Tillman ! Good to see you again.” Ben shook his hand.

“Thanks.” The two of them immediately fell into a conversation about paperwork, registration and insurance. You stopped paying attention after about thirty seconds and instead, you wandered a few steps away, taking your time looking at the cars displayed throughout the showroom. Some were practical, some looked ridiculously expensive and one looked like it belonged in a movie.

“You ready ?” Ben's voice pulled you back and you turned around. He was grinning from ear to ear. “Come on.” He led you through another section of the showroom before stopping. “There she is.” Your eyes widened. Parked beneath the bright lights sat a brand-new Dodge Charger SRT in a deep metallic gray, beautiful.

“Well…” You slowly walked around it. “That’s...” You laughed, table to finish that sentence. “Ben, this is gorgeous.” He couldn't stop smiling.

“You like it ?”

“Like it ?” You looked back at him. “This thing is amazing.” Your fingertips brushed lightly along the side of the car. “How the hell can you even afford something like this ?” His smile faltered ever so slightly and he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Umm well, my grandfather was pretty wealthy for... reasons. He left most of everything to my dad and…” He shrugged. “When I found this car dad agreed to pay for it.” You looked at him.

“He just... bought it for you ?”

“Well… I'll pay for insurance and everything, but yeah. He said it was time I had something reliable.” You smiled softly.

“Well… you definitely picked a good one.” The salesman returned carrying a folder.

“Everything's ready.” Ben spent the next few minutes signing papers while the salesman walked him through the truck's features. You leaned against a nearby display, only half listening. Driver assistance, tow package, different drive modes. By the time the explanation ended, Ben looked even more excited than before while the salesman handed him the keys. “Congratulations Mr Tillman, enjoy it.”

“Thanks.”

A few minutes later, the two of you stepped back outside. Ben jingled the keys in front of you with a grin. “I've got an idea. There's an empty parking lot a couple minutes from here.” He pointed farther down the road with his casted arm. “Meet me there.” You raised an eyebrow.

“And why exactly ?”

“Because…” He smiled. “I want you to test drive it.” You laughed.

“It's your car Ben.”

“I know, I still want you to.” He replied, smiling.

A few minutes later, both vehicles rolled into a nearly deserted parking lot. Ben parked first and you pulled in beside him. He climbed out of the car before you even had time to unbuckle. “Come on.” He tossed you the keys and your eyes widened.

“You're serious ?”

“Completely.”

“You've owned this thing for five minutes and you're already letting someone else drive it ?”

“You're not just someone.” The words came so naturally to him that he didn't even seem to realize he had said them. But it made something twist in your gut, guilt creeping in ever so slightly but you were quick to push it back down as you caught the keys.

“Well, if I scratch it...”

“You won’t.” He replied, cutting you off.

“You've got a lot of faith in me.”

“I do bunny.”

A few moments later, you settled behind the wheel, the cabin still smelled brand new. Ben climbed into the passenger seat, watching you with barely contained excitement. You started the engine and the truck rumbled to life. “This is nice.” You said, voice higher than usual.

“Told you.” You eased out across the empty parking lot and went for a test drive on the nearby county roads.

The next ten minutes passed in laughter, you joked about how impossible it would be to park downtown without being noticed now while Ben insisted they would get used to it in a week. Eventually, you brought the car to a gentle stop near the far end of the lot and turned toward him with a smile. “I get it now.”

“What ?”

“Why you wanted this one.” He didn't answer immediately, instead, he simply looked at you longer than he ever had before. There was something almost dreamlike in his expression, soft and completely unguarded. Slowly, he reached across the center console, fingertips brushing gently against your cheek while his thumb traced the smallest circle beneath your eye.

“You're beautiful bunny.” He whispered, not flirting, just meaning every syllabe with his heart. His eyes never left yours and they were filled with such open affection that your stomach tightened again. For a second, panic flickered inside you, not because of what he had done, but because of what you saw in his face. He was falling hard, so you forced yourself to smile anyway, careful not to let a single crack show.

Ben was still looking at you, his hand hadn't left your cheek. There was something different in his expression now, steadier, like he had finally made up his mind about something. He swallowed loudly before speaking again.

“I love you.” Everything inside you froze, your heart even seemed to miss a beat. You genuinely didn't know what to say and Ben's smile faltered the moment he saw your expression. “Hey.” He withdrew his hand slightly. “You... you don't have to say it back.” His voice had become softer but you could tell he was expecting more from you. “I know those are big words and we've only known each other for…” He let out a nervous laugh without finishing that sentence. “I just didn't want to keep it to myself anymore. I’ve never felt anything like what I’m feeling for you bunny.” He looked down at his lap before meeting your eyes again. “I'll wait as long as it takes, but I just wanted you to know.”

You stared at him. He looked hopeful, terrified and extremely sincere all at once, and the guilt you managed to push aside all weekend came crashing back with brutal force. Because when you looked at Ben, all you could see was Gator. The shape of his jaw, his eyes, it wasn't Ben you wanted and it had never been Ben. Before the silence could become unbearable, Ben cleared his throat.

“So… different subject.” He smiled awkwardly and you blinked, grateful he hadn't forced you to answer. “My family's having dinner together tonight.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “My dad wanted everyone home after... well... everything that happened yesterday. Charlotte keeps saying she's making dessert.” He looked back at you. “You should come with me.”

“What ?”

“Dinner with me, with us. My family would love to have you I’m sure. I mean... Lottie already likes you and my mom would be happy you're there. And… I’d like you there too bunny.” He smiled sheepishly. You wanted to refuse but a thought slipped into your mind, Gator would be there. An entire evening under the same roof. You hated how quickly that decided it for you.

“Okay.” Ben's face lit up immediately.

“Really ? I’ll text Charlotte. She'll be so excited.” You forced yourself to smile back.

“I'll follow you to the ranch ?”

“Perfect.” He replied and leaned over, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “I promise it'll be fun.” The two of you climbed out of the Charger and he headed toward the driver’s side of his brand-new car, still unable to hide the grin stretching across his face.

You watched him for a second then got back behind the wheel of your own car. A few moments later, the Dodge pulled out onto the road and you followed it toward the ranch. Your eyes stayed fixed on its taillights the entire drive but your thoughts never left Gator.

Ben's new Charger turned into the ranch driveway first, and you followed a few seconds behind. Before you even switched off the engine, your eyes instinctively searched for one vehicle, the sheriff's cruiser. It wasn't there and a flicker of disappointment ran through you. Then you reminded yourself of what the day had looked like, he had already disappeared from the station for a few hours because of you and looked overwhelmed before you left. He was probably making up for lost time and would come home later.

Ben climbed out of the Charger, looking almost as excited as he had when he'd picked it up. You grabbed your bag and followed him toward the house. The front door opened and for the second time that day, you stepped inside the Tillman ranch.

Mia stood by the kitchen counter, setting plates aside, a sad look on her face. “Hey, mom.” Ben walked over first, dropping his keys onto the island. “Is it still okay that she's staying for dinner ?” Mia looked from her son to you and a small smile appeared.

“Of course, she’s always welcome.”

“Thank you.” You replied and she nodded politely before reaching for a glass in one of the cupboards. As she lifted her hand, your eyes caught the brief glint of gold around her finger, her wedding ring reflected the kitchen light for only a second. That was enough, jealousy curled tightly in your stomach before you could stop it, so you forced yourself to look away.

“Your dad's working late.” Mia said as she closed the cupboard. “He called earlier and he'll be home later than usual, again. So we'll wait a little before eating.” Ben nodded.

“Sounds good.” He turned toward you with a smile. “Come on.” The two of you headed upstairs. As you reached the landing, your gaze drifted automatically toward the closed door at the end of the hallway, Gator’s bedroom.

A few hours ago, he was fucking you in there, in his own bed, forehead resting against yours promising he would leave his wife. The memory lingered for a heartbeat before Ben's voice pulled you back. “This way bunny.”

You followed him into his room and it was like you remembered when you had to put him to bed during Charlotte’s birthday. His duffel still sat half-unpacked near the dresser. Ben dropped onto the edge of the bed. “So…” He opened one of the drawers of his desk. “I've got to show you something.”

For the next several minutes, he excitedly walked you through little pieces of his world, a framed picture from high school football, an old pocket knife his grandfather had given him, a guitar he’ had been trying, and mostly failing, to teach himself. You laughed when he admitted he had never learned more than the same three songs.

The late afternoon slipped by while you talked about nothing important. Eventually, Ben stretched with an exaggerated groan and fell backward onto the bed, his casted arm tucked behind his head. Then he looked over at you, a small smile crossing his face. Without saying anything, he lifted his free arm slightly, an unspoken invitation. You hesitated then shifted closer.

He wrapped his arm loosely around your shoulders as you settled beside him. Ben let out a contented sigh. “This is nice, me chilling with my girlfriend before dinner with my family. I could get used to it.” He joked, sounding completely at peace. You cringed slightly again but quickly got back into your role, resting your head against his shoulder.

“Mhm.”

“I could stay like this forever.” He confessed, and the way he said it with so much honesty made your chest twist again. You closed your eyes for a moment, trying not to think about whose house you were in and trying not to search for his face in Ben’s features.

After a few minutes, he turned his head toward you, grabbed your chin to make you look at him, before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He smiled, kissed you again and again until things got heated. His tongue was inside your mouth while his hand rubbed at your cheek.

He pushed himself off the bed and settled on top of you, his weight crushing you into the mattress without breaking the kiss once. His casted arm was resting above your head to handle most of his weight, while his other hand landed on your hip, drifting higher and higher. It landed on your breasts, and he started kneading them through your shirt, sighing into the kiss.

Shit, you kept replaying Gator’s words in your mind, how he wanted to be the only one to get you like this. You couldn’t do this right now, not when you were fucking his dad in the other room a few hours ago.

You gently pushed him back and his eyes found yours, worried. “Are you okay bunny ?”

“Yeah, I am. I just don’t wanna do that here right now, you know with your mom downstairs.” He smiled, shaking his head slightly.

“She doesn’t care, she knows I’m happy and it’s all that matters.” He started kissing down your neck but you pushed him away again.

“Ben, later please, I don’t feel ready for this yet.” Yep, and as a pop girly said ‘the biggest lie I ever said’. He pushed away immediately, and searched for your eyes.

“It’s okay bunny, I’ll wait for you, always.” Shit, you felt even worse now. You looked at him and the look on his face destroyed you. He was so pure and full of love while sometimes it felt like your ugly feeling were rotting you from the inside. It was almost sad seeing him like this knowing damn well you didn’t love him, never would and even worse, knowing you were fucking his dad behind everyone’s back.

He moved slightly, getting himself back on his side of the bed, and you saw the bulge in his pants from kissing and touching you. His cheeks reddened a little and that’s when you decided to do a little something for him. You reached out and placed your hand on his thigh, feeling the muscle jolt under your touch. “Is this okay ?” You asked, and he nodded frantically.

“I’ve been thinking about it, you know ? About what it would be like to … touch you properly.”

“Properly ?” You repeated.

“Your …” He gestured vaguely toward your chest, awkwardly. “I mean, I’m sorry, I’m really bad it this.” You laughed a little and he winced.

“Ben, do you wanna see my boobs ?” You said, and his eyes snapped to yours while his mouth hung open without a single sound coming from it.

“Yes ! I mean, yeah … please.” Damn, he was begging you just for that ? He really is nothing like his dad.

“Take your shirt off first.” He almost wrestles it off of his back, taking it off in record time. His whole attention was on you, waiting for your next interactions. You just nodded and reached for the hem of your own shirt, going slowly, loving the way he was looking at you. His gaze locked on the skin you were revealing when you pulled the shirt over your head, letting it drop somewhere on the floor.

His eyes landed on the lacy bra Gator had almost ripped off you earlier, but he didn’t have to know that. Ben made a broken sound, eyes lighting up. “Fuck.” He whispered, before shaking his head a little, as if he was trying to ground himself. “Look at you … I just … I wanna make you feel good, I want you to feel so good you won’t know how to … speak.” Damn, that was the worst dirty you’ve ever heard, it was almost endearing.

Your mind drifted back to Gator once again, and how he was so good at dirty talking, making you wet even time. “You can touch me.” You said, and he looked at you like you had just handed him the keys to the city.

His hand trembled as he reached out, fingertips grazing the top curve of your left boob where the lace met your skin. He traced the edge of the bra cup all along. “Use you whole hand Ben, I’m not going to break.” You said, almost irritated because you knew Gator would probably already be sucking on your nipples.

He spread his fingers and his palm cupped you, the heat of his hand making your nipple harden under his touch. He must’ve felt it because he made that noise again, the broken one. His other casted arm came up also, now both hands holding your breasts through your bra, thumbs brushing where your nipples pressed against the fabric.

“So beautiful. The prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.” He shook his head again. “Sorry, too much. I’m just really turned on and I don’t know what to do with … with myself right now.” You glanced down at his lap and could make out the imprint of his cock against his jeans. He caught you looking and his cheeks turned even brighter. “I know it’s obvious, sorry, I’m a mess.”

You chuckled as your fingers found the button of his jeans. His whole body went still. “Can I ?” You asked.

“You don’t have to. I mean, I want you to, obviously, I want you. But only if you want to also, I don’t want you to think you have to just because I’m sitting there being a complete disaster and …”

“Ben.” You cut him off, exasperated again for some unknown reason. Well, unknown, that’s not true. You were pissed because it wasn’t Gator. You popped the buttons and worked the zipper down. He lifted his lips, helping you as you tugged his jeans down, taking his boxers with them so his cock sprang free.

The tip was covered in pre cum, so you wrapped your hand around it. His whole body jerked and his head rolled backward. “Thank you.” He breathed, and you paused mid-stroke.

“Did you just thank me for touching your dick Ben ?”

“I … yes I did. Was that weird ? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” You were already moving again, twisting slightly on the upstroke the way you know made Gator go stupid. The slickness on his cock built, making the slides easier each stroke. His hips thrusted into your hand while his hand twitched at his side, as if he wanted to touch you again but was too afraid to do so.

You rolled your eyes, damn he really was nothing like Gator, even if they looked similar. “You can touch me Ben, go on.” His hand flew to your breasts immediately, grip needier now.

“I’m close.” He choked out. “I’m really … you have to stop or I’m going to .. like now oh God.” You didn’t stop, you went faster, making his eyes go wide as he came with a cry. Ropes of cum shot out and landed on his stomach, your hand and the sheets. It kept going pulse after pulse and even if he was gasping for air, you could make out “thank you thank you thank you” he was repeating over and over again.

When it finally stopped, he collapsed against the mattress again, chest heaving and eyes glassy. You took your sticky hand away and inspected it, disappointed once again that it wasn’t Gator. He quickly grabbed his shirt he tossed away earlier and helped you wipe his cum away from your hand, before doing the same with his stomach. You grabbed your shirt and put it back on while he shoved his in his hamper.

Suddenly, the sound of the front door slamming echoed through the ranch. You both jumped before Ben opened his door slightly and looked toward the hallway. “Dad's home.” Sure enough, Gator's voice drifted up from the kitchen a second later. You couldn't make out the words, just the low rumble of his voice. Then Mia answered, shouting and the two of you instinctively went quiet, listening.

Ben slowly pulled the bedroom door open a little farther. The hallway was empty and downstairs, the conversation continued. “Go on then, show me Gator ! Show me your fucking hand !” Mia's voice rang through the entire house. “Yes I know you can’t huh ? You absolute fucking idiot ! I found it on your nightstand !” You heard the metallic sound of something being thrown on the ground, probably his ring that he forgot to put back on after he fucked you earlier.

Ben looked at you, eyes wide not understand what was going on downstairs. “Don’t you fucking dare lie to me, I know you had it on this morning when you left ! And now you come home at this hour without it !” Gator answered, but too quietly for either of you to catch it, but Mia wasn't interested in lowering her voice anymore.

“I called the station. They told me you'd left hours before your shift ended while you told me you were buried in paperwork ! So who’s lying huh ? You or them ?” There was only silence, so she kept going. “You disappeared for two fucking hours and you barely answer your phone anymore ! I know what’s happening Gator ! Unlike you I’m not fucking stupid !”

Ben quietly stepped into the hallway and you followed a second later, neither of you dared go downstairs. “You've never lied to me like this before.” Mia's voice cracked slightly. “Not like this.”

“I don't want to do this in this house in front of the kids.”

“Oh, now you care about the kids ?” Her laugh was bitter. “You've been acting different for weeks, barely look at me anymore. You come home late, you’re somewhere else even when you're sitting right in front of me ! Just tell me the truth !”

“Mia…”

“No ! You don't get to dodge the question. What the fuck is going on with you ?” Before anyone could answer, the front door slammed again.

“Hello ?” Charlotte’s voice drifted upstairs. “...Why is everyone yelling ?” Both parents answered at the exact same time.

“Lottie, upstairs.”

“Go to your room.” Charlotte sighed, you couldn’t see her but she was probably rolling her eyes.

“Jesus, fine.” Her footsteps started climbing the stairs. Halfway up, she spotted Ben standing outside his bedroom, then she noticed you beside him.

“Oh, hey. Good to see you, but … very bad timing apparently.” She barely reacted to the fact Ben was still shirtless. Instead, she looked between the two of you. “What happened ?” She whispered so the parents wouldn’t know they were snooping. Ben shook his head.

“Not sure. I think dad left with his ring this morning, but when mom came back home it was laying somewhere in the house while he said he was working.” Another shout echoed from downstairs and Charlotte glanced toward the staircase before looking back at her brother.

“I've never heard mom like this.”

“Me neither.” A loud bang interrupted the conversation and Charlotte frowned, stunned. She crossed her arms, thinking.

“Dad's been acting... off for weeks now. Half the time he doesn't even hear people talking to him.” Lottie whispered while Ben frowned.

“I thought that was just election stress.”

“So did I. Apparently it’s something else.” Another muffled exchange drifted upstairs, then Mia's voice, louder than ever.

“If there's someone else, just tell me !” Silence, and Charlotte’s eyes widened while Ben looked completely stunned.

“No way…” She looked at her brother. “You know what ? If dad has a mistress, we are going to find out who it is, together.”

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margxteen

«and as a pop girly said ‘the biggest lie I ever said»

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