INFP: Youâre learning to astral project via meditation and focus but unfortunately your mind wanders so you end up âreverse astral projectingâ where your ghost stays put but your body gets teleported somewhere else and now you canât find it
ISTJ: Peacefully, in your sleep, at the ripe old age of 27. Shouldnât have stressed yourself out so much with all that extra work you took on. Post-mortem exam shows youâre biologically 83
ESFP: You know how monster trucks can do all those jumps and tricks and the driver is still fine? Well, it isnât the same with your 2005 Honda sedan and youâre definitely not fine
ENFP: You werenât feeling anything after the first pot brownie, or the second, or the sixth, but after the whole pan, you didnât die so much as you were reverse-born, absorbed back into your motherâs womb but instead of in a hospital room you were in a blade of grass and instead of a doctor it was the devil and he was stuffing you back into your mother like how one might stuff a turkey
INFJ: You wake up in some cave with a pounding headache and you canât remember shit for the last 3 days and this must be the worst weekend ever because now people are talking about how you âresurrectedâ and itâs âGodâs willâ
ENFJ: You donât die, you just quietly disappear until youâre needed again, like a guardian angel. or the microsoft word paperclip
ESTP: You made your pool 1 foot deeper so that you could jump in from the top of your garage roof. Too bad you shouldâve made your roof 1 foot thicker too because you fell straight through and ate shit
ENTP: You didnât think anything would ~really~ happen when you read that inscription carved into the 3000 year old sheepskin you dug up from the woods but now youâre possessed. Turns out the demon was a huge nerd bitch just like you so your body is still out there, sleeping until noon and laughing at memes
ESTJ: After working around the clock on the same project for six years, you finally burned yourself out. Your family can still hear you screech as you ran into the woods. You might not even be dead, you might still be out there. wandering
ISFJ: You accidentally got mistaken for a tv celebrity at the gas station, but unfortunately that tv show was âFBIâs Most Wantedâ and now youâre a year into your stint on death row and you think itâs too awkward to say anything now
ESFJ: You didnât tell anyone you got bitten by one of the zombies because you didnât want to worry anyone but itâs likeâŚ.. youâre now scooping brain out of the group leaderâs head like meat from a coconut so I guess you can say weâre just a tad worried anyway
ENTJ: In a moment of confusion, you accidentally put a hit out on YOURSELF without realizing. Ding-dong, whoâs there? Itâs a gun
INTJ: How were you supposed to know that the guy you humiliated about his intelligence online ACTUALLY WAS a marine this time
INTP: Based on the fact that you still manage to exist despite that trash ass diet and sunlight deprivation and living inside your own mind means youâre clearly biologically immortal so fuck idk go juggle some knives or something
ISTP: Your plane crashed into smoldering wreckage in a remote mountain range. Oh, you didnât die though. From the plane crash. You died of kuru after survival instincts drove you to eat the few other survivors in your party.
ISFP: Got eaten on a friggin mountain by ISTP
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