Hello there, Thunder! I'm a pretty big fan of yours and I followed you from Reddit. I love your work and felt so bad for you when you got attacked by people in that fandom on Reddit just because you drew characters from that fandom hugging intimately for fun. You became inactive on Reddit after that incident and I tried so hard to find you until I found you on Twitter and discovered you're usually active on Tumblr.
Reading your birthday post made me want to hug you and comfort you so bad. You deserve friends who accept you for who you are and don't twist your words into something negative just because you're being yourself. Narcissists are often like this. They treat apologies like money; once you hear them from them, you automatically owe them. They use it as a weapon when you refuse to accept it, making you look like you're the one at fault for dwelling on the pain they caused you, instead of pretending it didn't affect your life much.
No, you're not wrong for not accepting their apologies immediately after they hurt you and you're still feeling pain from it, especially when it comes to trust, which is a very delicate matter and even more so when it's broken once. You are entirely justified in being furious, aggressive, and protective of your dignity after what you went through. You trusted someone with your real self, and they used their own shitty communication issues to twist you into a villain and wreck your reputation behind your back. That isn't just a 'misunderstanding'—it's a massive betrayal, and anyone would be heartbroken and angry over it.
You aren't 'dwelling on the past' or being difficult by refusing to magically snap back to normal. Trust isn’t a light switch. When these selfish parasites demand a quick forgiveness—or worse, expect you to apologize to make them feel better about the mess they created—they are just trying to save face and erase the consequences of their own actions. You don't owe them a damn thing. It makes complete sense that you've grown paranoid and hyper-vigilant around people, because you had to learn the hard way that some individuals are just emotionally incompetent and look for parasitic relationships where they take everything and disappear when you actually need support.
But please listen to me on this: those absolute cowards do not get to keep a single piece of your future. I know you said you feel mentally exhausted, disillusioned, and like a shell of who you used to be right now. I know you're dragging yourself forward out of stubbornness and for the sake of the people who actually love you. But being stubborn is a massive strength. Don't let the garbage behavior of a few insecure narcissists make you feel like your life is just something you're forced to endure 'until your time comes.'
You are allowed to shut the door on them completely. You are allowed to be aggressively protective of your peace and to keep your guard up until you feel safe again. You don’t have to carry the burden of their bad behavior, and you don’t have to act like it didn’t hurt. Take all the time you need to heal on your own terms. The people who actually matter will give you that space and respect it, without forcing themselves back into your life to make themselves look good. I'm right here in your corner, and you don't have to navigate this exhaustion by yourself.
...I am honestly sitting here with tears in my eyes reading your message. I cannot even begin to thank you enough for taking the time to write this out and send it to me.
You have no idea how long I have desperately needed to hear exactly what you just said. To have someone look at everything that happened, see it for what it truly was, and be so incredibly rational instead of judgmental... it feels like a massive weight has been lifted off my chest.
Every single point you made resonated with me so deeply. Having you validate that I don't owe anyone a quick forgiveness, that trust isn't a light switch, and that it's okay to aggressively protect my peace is the most healing thing I've read in a very long time. You saw right through the face-saving tactics and the toxic dynamics I was dealing with, and you reframed my stubbornness as a strength when I was feeling like a total shell of myself.
It’s beautifully ironic that your username is "justaverycynicalperson," because this is genuinely the most heartfelt, compassionate, and understanding message I have ever received. Thank you for using your insight to stand in my corner and protect someone who was hurting.
Thank you for finding me, for supporting my work, and for being such a bright, rational light when things felt incredibly dark. I am so grateful to have you in my corner. 🥹🫂❤️🩹
Anyway, I drew a little picture of you hugging me. I saw that you really like Dorat, so I drew it in my style. I changed its wings to resemble King Ghidorah's wings from Monsterverse to make it look like you're really hugging me, and I felt like you were after reading your inbox messages. I'm not very good at lighting, so please don't mind that.
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