The twins! There’s nerdjo 🤭and then there’s fratjo too ig, I was really excited when i saw nerdjo trending so I grabbed the opportunity to draw him hehe
Bartender!Simon and you, a customer he frequently flirts with:
He asks to test out a "new drink" on you, which is just straight alcohol shared through a kiss. But you only know that after he tests it out on you >:3
Valentine's day is Simon's favorite day of the year.
No one would ever guess. No one would ever think to guess. He knows when the shops start putting out red hearts on their windows. He knows when the chocolate starts hitting the shelves in bulk. He knows exactly how many days until you'll walk in wearing that red sweater again.
It's the same one every year. The knit has loosened slightly at the cuffs, and there's a snag near the hem you keep meaning to fix. He noticed the day it happened; he remembers which locker corner caught it.
(The locker isn't there anymore.)
Every year, like clockwork, you show up with your sleeves pulled over your hands, carrying a pocketful of those cheap heart-shaped candies that taste like chalk.
And every year, you hand them out like blessings to men who have done things that would curdle the sugar in your mouth if you knew.
Soap gets a fist full because he makes a spectacle of begging. Kyle pretends he doesn't care but takes two anyway. Price shakes his head, muttering something about sugar rotting teeth, but pockets one when you insist.
Simon watches you make your way across the room, and notes who lingers when your fingers brush theirs, who bends down closer than necessary to hear you better, and who laughs too hard at something that wasn't that funny.
He knows exactly how many hearts are left when you finally stop in front of him.
"Don't start," you say lightly, holding out a little folded card and a candy. "It's tradition."
He takes them without looking at you and waits until you've moved on before he looks down at his palm. A delicate pink— BE MINE— and when he lets it dissolve on his tongue, eyes tracking the sway of your red sweater, he imagines it tastes like the gloss on your lips.
That night, in the quiet of his spartan flat, he places the new card beneath a heavy book to keep it from curling and takes the old ones out of a tin box he keeps hidden behind spare ammo to read again, all of them dated in pencil on the back.
To my favorite person. Don't argue ❤️
You’ve written it every year, same wording, same little heart slanted to the right. The ink bleeds a little more on the cheaper cards. One year the paper was glossier, and in another, your pen ran out halfway through the word favorite and you pressed harder to make it last.
He knows your handwriting well enough now to read you in it. The loops are bigger when you're tired, pinched when you're stressed. The heart is fuller when you're in a good mood, and smaller when you're not.
He could replicate it if he needed to.
This year, when someone jokes about snatching you up before someone else does, Simon doesn't even look up from cleaning his weapon. He knows who he is. He knows the way the man stands— weight heavier on his right leg from an old injury. Simon also knows the man who signs off on deployment rosters and knows exactly what that man owes him.
Deployment rosters are delicate things; names get bumped all the time. Sometimes upward into a position they're not ready for, sometimes sideways into places much less comfortable for longer, and sometimes they fall off the list entirely, lost in administration reshuffling no one has the time to question.
“She’s already spoken for," Simon says flatly, cloth dragging down the barrel in slow, even strokes.
Dating the Simon "Ghost" Riley was one thing, but being married to him was a whole different feeling because now there was almost no filter between you two. But due to personal decisions, you both decide to keep your marriage on the down low, the only person who actually knows about your marriage is Captain John Price, both Soap and Gaz are kind of aware you two are in a relationship, but not with each other.
How the two of you treat each other in base isn't any different to how you treat everyone else on the team -except the subtle affectionate acts with each other. Whenever you passed by one another, you would just nod in greeting and keep walking. During briefings you two sat across from each other with his leg stretched out underneath the table to brush against yours.
Some of the perks to being married to Simon is going into his office whenever you pleased for whatever reason.
It's a hot summer day on the base, and a lot of soldiers were complaining about it, both quietly and loudly. There aren't many places on base where the heat didn't affect as much. Your husband's office is one of those places.
A quiet knock on Simon's office door then opens to let you peek your head through, "Do you mind if I hang out in here?"
Simon looks up from the paper in his hand then gestures you inside, "Don't mind, luvie," He leans back in his chair, "It's a pleasure havin' you wit' me," His gaze moves down towards his paperwork.
Closing the door behind you, you carefully sit down on his desk to not disturb anything on it. Your eyes take in all the planning he has done so far before asking, "Next time you take a piss, can I hold it?" Your tone of voice was way too casual for the type of question you asked.
He glances over his paper and stares at you, his expression blank. The silence stretches on and the cheeky grin on your face keeps growing. Eventually he looks down again and responds, "Sure."
You pump your fist in the air, "Heck yeah, I'll play with it like it was a centre stick," Pretending to be controlling a helicopter, you hold an imaginary centre stick between your legs.
"Just be careful wit' the little lad," He causally warns as he continues to plan.
A quiet snort escapes you as you murmur, "'Little,' right. You and I know it's not little. It's like..." You extend your arms out a bit to over exaggerated the size, "...this big."
Simon doesn't even look up to see your exaggeration, but he still lets out a sigh, "You've taken it like a champ before."
You reach your hand out to gently touch the mask on his face, he doesn't even flinch at your touch and leans into it. A soft smile graces your face, "I can't believe you're still wearing that mask. Aren't you sweating under there?"
He sets the paper down on his desk and places all his attention on you, "Take it off then."
"Gladly," Your fingers grab the edge of his mask then take it off, "What a mug you have," One of your hands cups the side of his face.
"You married it, luvie," He murmurs then sets his hand over yours on his face.
"I also use it as a throne sometimes," You add playfully. Your eyes look down at the mask in your hand. You can feel how damp the mask is from his sweat. With a bit of a disgusted look, you hold the mask away from you, "I'm throwing this in the washer once we get home."
One of the corners of Simon's lips quirks upward into a small, subtle smile, "I appreciate it."
Another perk to being married to Simon is him finishing anything you can't eat. You'll never have to worry about wasting food in your household. Sometimes, you don't even have to ask, he'll just grab your plate once he notices the way you started slowing down.
You were starving once lunch came around, you practically ran to the mess hall to get some food.
Simon and Soap were already sitting at a table together in the mess hall. You quickly grab your foot and sit down with them.
Soap looks over the amount of food pulled on your plate, "Wow, ya really gonna eat all tha'?" He chuckles as he takes a bite out of his food.
"I didn't get to eat much at breakfast," You reply before scarfing down some food. Didn't care who was watching, you were going to eat however you want right now.
Simon subtly rolls his eyes at you, he tried to get you to eat more this morning, but you insisted you didn't have time. He eyes your tray of food and the way you're eating, there's no way you'll eat all of it.
And he was right, right at the last fourth of your large amount of food, you couldn't eat anymore, "Fucking hell... I can't eat anymore..." Your eyes meet Simon's as you ask, "Want the rest of it?"
He nods his head without saying a word and takes your tray from you.
Soap gives you a look, a type of look that says he knows your secret and this is evidence toward it -even though he actually doesn't know your secret.
You give Soap a hard nudge, "Bugger off, Johnny, I overestimated how hungry I was. Besides," You use your hand to gesture to Simon, who was already eating what was left on your plate, "The lieutenant is a growing boy and needs to fill his appetite."
Simon just responds with a nod to his head and nothing else.
A perk to being married to Simon is how helpful he is. No matter where you are or who you're with, he'll always help his wife whenever you need it.
You shouldn't have chosen these heels to wear for this under cover mission. You and Gaz had to sneak into this banquet to extract information about your target while Simon provided support from afar. The whole mission ended up going longer than expected, thus leading to your feet killing you because of those stupid heels.
The ride back to base was fine, but you still quietly whined to yourself. Only Simon noticed it. When you got out of the vehicle, that was when he decided to help you.
"Next time I'm going for some more comfortable footwear..." You grumble under your breath while carefully limping back to your room.
Without saying a word, Simon stops you then throws you over his shoulder -you yelped in surprise- and continues toward your room.
"What are you doing!?" You yelled as you brace your hands against his back.
"Carryin' ya," He looks over his shoulder to meet your gaze, "What does it look like?" He pats your bum like he's proving some kind of point.
You lightly smack his back, "Hands off the merchandise, LT," Now wasn't a good time for him to get handsy with you.
Simon shrugs his shoulders a little as he says, "I bought it."
Fair, it's true that he did.
Soap and Gaz watch with a look of surprise and mild amusement while Price just chuckles and walks off toward his office to comb over the information.
Snapping out of his trance, Soap jogs over to you two and falls in step with Simon, "So, why ya carryin' her?" He has a big smirk on his face as he waits for the answer.
Bluntly, Simon says, "She'll keep bitchin' an' moanin' in my ear if she keeps walkin' in 'er heels," He is so casual about the whole thing. Also, he just wanted an excuse to touch you in some way.
Soap laughs and glances back at you, "Well, ye must feel like a princess."
You half-heartedly glare at him and say nothing. Princesses don't get carried like this, but you won't complain because you're off your feet.
Despite all the perks about being married to him, there is one downside that comes to mind, and that's the seemingly endless amount of dad jokes at his disposal.
Okay, so it's not really a downside, but there's still so many.
You and Ghost were on a short mission together: eliminate the target before he reaches the location. But the wait is taking forever.
While in position inside a nearby rooftop, Simon decides to fill the silence between you.
"Where do you learn to make a banana split?" He quietly asks without looking away from the scope.
Knowing where this will lead, you decide to just let him have his fun, "I don't know, where?" Your eyes scans the area with a pair of binoculars.
Without changing his serious tone of voice, he says the punchline,"Sundae school."
You quietly smile and shake your head before focusing on the task at hand, "Hilarious."
There's silence once again before he asks, "Did you laugh?"
"I laughed on the inside," You answer calmly. Still no sign of the target.
His brown eyes moved away from the scope to watch your side profile,"I like the sound of your laughter."
You turn your head slightly and meet his soft gaze, "Didn't want to distract you, Lieutenant."
Simon shrugs his shoulders but doesn't look away from you, "I wouldn't mind a distraction if it came from you."
The two of you keep your gazes on one another for a long while before being forced to focus on the task at hand.
The silence stretches on and on until Simon decides to break it again,"Why does the military plant trees every year?"
"Why?" You ask.
"To grow the infant tree," He jokes.
This time you quietly laugh loud enough for him to hear. Causing him to softly smile under his mask.
Okay. The dad jokes are also a perk to marrying Simon.
What if you had a cat named Ghost, and you worked on base and were generally aware of the person Ghost, but he’s just Lieutenant Riley to you, so you don’t make the connection when you're rambling about your cat.
“Oh, yeah, Ghost is a little stinky boy, but he’s my baby.”
“I couldn’t get up for an hour because Ghost was sitting on me, and I didn’t want to disturb him.”
“Ghost pretends he doesn’t like cuddling, but if I ignore him for even just a little bit, he always comes to snuggle up on me and—did you need something, Lieutenant Riley? You're not interrupting anything, I was just telling the sergeants here about my cat.”
Human Ghost, who looms behind Soap and Gaz, was tracking down the source of a curious rumor. He’s also familiar with who you are but has never had any significant interaction with you. After a quick assessment, though, he decides there’s no need to quell the rumors that the two of you are together. He’ll just make them true.
(And what you get out of this is a big stinky boy to go along with your little stinker, where both are your babies. When you start occasionally also referring to Simon as Ghost, no one can ever tell if you're talking about your boyfriend or your cat.)
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