i'm flawed, i'm a wreck, but you - it wasnt a game

Mark Sloan, head of plastics. Born to upper-class, but emotionally distant parents, yet mainly raised by Carolyn Shepherd. I'm not exactly sure what else to put here. Anything else you need to know, just ask.

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

When you're alone remember why you had never learned how to cry. || Mark and Addison.

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

Mark arrives back, looking like he’d just met death. Apparently his headache hadn’t gone away. He was supposed to get some rest. Seeing Addison and Ella makes him smile. “I’m home.”He says quietly, before he looks around, telling them to make themselves comfortable. “Remember my cousin Teresa? Well, she and her husband died. They had a kid, and apparently I’m the godfather, and the lawyers want me to decide whether to keep the kid, or - you know…send him off to other relatives of mine, or put him in a foster home.” He explains, as he leaves the room, looking into the kitchen before he comes back.

“I’m the i-d-i-o-t who decided that it was okay to give a kid candy right after we’d arrived back here in Seattle.”He explains as he spells the word out, not wanting to be a bad influence on Ella, or his second cousin. “We arrived home, and he ran around for a while, before going off to hide, I think.”He says as he goes over to the closet, opening the door, and not finding anyone.” “This is crazy. I can take care of my own kid. I can take care of Sofia, and I can sure as hell take care of Ella. What makes them think I can take care of a six year old boy. I may be good with kids, but I’m not a pro. Do I look like I’m a child whisperer?”He complains to Addison, before he walks over to her, and wraps his arms around her, feeling like an idiot, and feeling quite rude for not having said hello to her the minute he’d walked in. “I’ve missed you, Red.”He tells her. “I wish I could’ve had you there, with me. At the funeral. But, you know my dramatic family.”He says, before muttering a curse word under his breath, as he hugs her again, before he brings his hands to her back, rubbing it gently.. “I should have left a message for you or Izzie. Though speaking of Izzie, she’ll probably end up murdering me, the minute  she sees me. That time you visited me was the first time I’d walked. That week, I’d gotten up on my feet, and the day you arrived, I was still getting used to it.”He explains, not wanting to run into Izzie. “They want me to make a decision. You know my family. How the hell did Teresa and I end up as the sane ones out of all the Sloans. I don’t want to send the kid off to a foster home, or relatives of mine. And I’m not ready to take on another kid fill time. It isn’t fair. I wanted time to get to know Ella, to get to know her for who she is, and to show her I’d never leave. To show you that I can be a good father to her, like I am with Sofia. I don’t know what to do, Addison. I don’t know what to decide. Why the hell have they chosen me to make a decision like this? I want a family. With you, Ella, Sofia and me. But….”He says trailing off, before he sits on the couch, letting out a loud sigh as he feels a little better, resting for the first time. “I mean look at me. I gave a six year old boy candy, and already he’s hiding from me in this place. I’m a terrible godfather. This isn’t fair. I…he’s a good kid. I don’t know what to do. Addison…”He says, and then trails off, looking at her with a pleading look in his eyes

[theadulterousbitch]

The second Addison and Ella arrive at Mark’s apartment, the redhead takes notice in his appearance, he seemed to be doing a little better than he had been the last time she had seen him; but, she knew the recovery for the injuries he had suffered were far from completely healed. She sighs as she walks over to the couch with Ella, and grabs her coloring book and crayons out of her bag and sits them down on the coffee table, and Ella quickly starts on a new masterpiece, in the princess coloring book. Mark was all over the place, he was rambling about stuff at a million miles a minute and the only thing that was really registering with Addison was the fact that he cousin had died and he was the legal guardian of his cousins child. 

With as much and as fast as Mark was talking, Addison couldn’t get a word in edge wise. She figures it’d be best to wait it out, he was clearly freaking out over the situation and this only made the redhead questions his ability to care for any child, his own or not. But, this was not about her doubts that he could actually be the proper father figure for Ella - that was still something they were working through, at least she thought they had been working through it until, he up and disappeared for weeks without so much as a phone call, text, or even an email. 

 Hearing Mark say that he’s a good father to Sofia and he knows he could be a good father to Ella too - Addison cringes slightly and shoots her head in Ella’s direction, praying the tiny blonde hadn’t heard his comment. Shattering the toddlers idea of her family, wasn’t something that Addison was ready or willing to explain, just yet. After all the time, she and Derek had been spending together — Ella was already asking a lot of questions about Mommy and Daddy. She didn’t need one extra comment to worry about. When he finally stops talking and says that he’s missed her and hugs her. He soon starts talking again, but, at least he’s talking at a normal speed now. “Yeah, you should have called, Mark. I get that your cousin died and that this is hard and difficult and a lot to take in and a lot to think about, but, you had made promises to other people. People who you say mean everything to you and that are everything that you’ve ever wanted.” Addison pauses and sighs. “You were wrong for not calling. It doesn’t take that long to send someone a text and say, ‘Hi, Addie. I have to go out of town for a while due to a death in my family. I’ll be back soon.’ But, you didn’t do it, at all.” She finishes and folds her arms across her chest, she had promised herself she would listen to him and not get angry about why he had done what he had done. But her emotions were getting the best of her, and that wasn’t something she wanted to happen. 

As Mark talks about how he doesn’t know what to do and that the boy is a good kid and no one else in his family is really mentally stable enough to care for him, Addison can see why Thersea had chosen Mark as her sons guardian in the event that something happened to her and her husband. Addison let’s out a sigh and walks closer to him, dropping her arms from her chest and wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. “You have to do it. He shouldn’t have to grow up the way that you might have if Derek’s parents hadn’t taken you in, the way they did. You know what it’s like to grow up in that family, you family. I don’t know him, and I didn’t know your cousin - but, she obviously trusted you enough with her child that she thinks you could do it.” Addison replies, pausing for a moment. “You should do it out of respect for your cousin. Don’t worry about me, or about Ella. We’re fine. We’ll be fine.” She finishes and pulls away from the embrace and looks into his eyes. “He just lost both of his parents, he’s in a new city. He’s adjusting. He’s scared. Make an effort, listen to him. But, don’t give him anymore candy.” She smiles and leans in to kiss his cheek. “I know you can do this, I believe in you.”

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

Letting out a sigh, he pulls her close to him, holding her for a minute until out of the corner of his eyes, he sees the small child standing there near the door to his room, with a shy look on his face. Letting go of Addison, he slowly makes his way over to the boy, before gently picking him up. "I got you, bud."He muttered quietly, as he carried Theresa's son over to where Addison and Ella are. Setting the boy down, he crouches down. "Do you want to color?"He asks, and the boy simply stands there, shrugging with a shy look in his eyes. Mark stands up and goes get some paper. Coming back a few moments later, he grabs a crayon, handing it to the boy, who takes the crayon, staring at the paper.

Standing back up, he looks at Addison. "I just wish there was some other solution. I wish he didn't have to go through this."He says to Addison, as he watches his little cousin coloring on a piece of paper.

"Right now, I really feel like I have a thousand kids."He says jokingly. "Sloane, Sofia, him, and hopefully Ella. But I like it. It feels good to have someone look up to me. It's a change from my manwhore lifestyle back in New York. Who would've thought, huh?"He asks her.

"So, uh - I was wondering. Would you like to go out for dinner? I hear that dating normally starts there. Dinner, or lunch, or anything. Because I wanna do this. You, me. I wanna take you out in broad daylight. Show you I'm serious. Spend time with Ella, be there for both of you. Because I'm serious. And I want you. So - are you interested? In dinner?"Mark asks nervously, inwardly kicking himself for sounding so nervous. He was Mark Sloan. He wasn't the type to really sound nervous, ever. Or if he did, he normally hid it. Of course, that's when inappropriate comments normally came out. "Because I want you. And I want a chance - to make you happy. To make Ella happy. That's all I wanna do."He adds, before he looks away, looking down at the small boy, Trevor - who was sitting near Ella, coloring with her.

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

theluvlee1 reblogged your post: OOC: Grow up, people.

I’ll say it…immaturity. Thankyou.

Yes. Immaturity, and all things surrounding that. I mean, I get that people get attached to characters, and all of that, but it's just tv. There's no need to be mean, and disrespect other people's favorite characters or wish 'em dead. No matter how upset some people are, about Mark's death. Just saying.

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

OOC: Grow up, people.

I mean seriously? I'm going through the Mark tag, and I see people wishing that Arizona had died, instead of Mark? Really? Oh my fricken gawd. That's just...ugh. Whatever. I don't even wanna...ugh.

[homxcxde]

i lost my best friend

[chicleeblair]

For everyone questioning what disease Mark contracted, I’m pretty sure he just had massive organ damage that wasn’t operable. Between the crash itself, possible infections, dehydration and lack of food for days….His body just couldn’t recover. 

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

HLAEHGKEALHKEAHKEAHLMKEALHMEAKLHKEAHEA. IT HURTS.

[town-lights]

[ameliasheph-blog]

OOC:

Does anyone even get on here anymore….??

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

OOC: I was gonna get to all replies tonight, but...

I am tipsy. I had two pina coladas, and my head is spinning. I'm not drunk, I'm only slightly tipsy. Tipsy enough to know that I should not be replying to shit rn. Maybe in an hour or two, when it wears off and I sober up, but not now.

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

OOC:

i apologize for being so MIA this week. If anybody's replied to my replies and starters, i will get to that later on tonight, or tomorrow. I promise.

[bbcftw-deactivated20130503]

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou

[minajuana-blog]

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

When you're alone remember why you had never learned how to cry. || Mark and Addison.

Mark Sloan was a father. He was a good father to Sofia, and had always been so. He’d also been a good father to Sloane. Or as good as he could have been. He’d tried, with her but she was already an adult. He’d been trying to be father material to Ella, for the short amount that he’s known about her. Of course, that was before his accident. After his accident, Mark had stayed with Izzie, while he was getting better. Originally, he was supposed to have been staying with Addison, but due to the current situation with Derek, Mark had gotten stubborn, not wanting to stay with Addison at all. He was alright with her visiting him any time she wanted, but he hadn’t wanted to stay with her. Part of him regretted that, though but Mark knew that on the other hand, it was good for him. It had been good for him.

It had been a while, now - since the accident. Mark was now slowly walking around on his own. He’d gotten his stuff back to his old apartment - the one near Callie and Arizona. Or what little stuff he’d gotten to Izzies. But he still was watched by Izzie from time to time, her checking up on him.

And then, the day that Mark was supposed to start work - or, the day he’d wanted to - even though the Chief had said no, that he should continue resting, and Webber had said the same thing, as well as Izzie, he’d gotten a call. And then for the next few weeks, Mark was a no show at work. He hadn’t been around. Which wasn’t really all too good, on his part especially since he was supposed to be there for Addison - to show her that he really wanted this. It looked pretty bad on his end. Him not saying anything and disappearing, made it look as if he hadn’t wanted anything to do with Addison at all. Especially, since he hadn’t told Izzie or anybody else where he had gone.

Arriving home, Mark made sure everything was set up. He was exhausted. The past few weeks, he’d been in New York, taking care of things after having received a call about his cousin. Mark was familiar with children Ella and Sofia’s ages, but with children older than that - around the age of six or seven, Mark was surely not the type to be familiar with.

A part of him regretted agreeing to this. A few years ago, after the birth of his cousins’ baby, he’d been asked to be the godfather. Apparently, nobody else in the family seemed trustworthy enough, which he found incredibly shocking. Now, he was stuck with a six year old child - his cousin? Second cousin? He wasn’t really sure what the hell the proper term was.

Mark seemed pale, and was already tired, but it was only three in the afternoon, and the kid was running around, incredibly hyper. At the airport, he’d made a mistake of buying candy for the child, and this was the result. His phone rings, and he answers it. “Mark, where the hell have you been?! Did you run off or something?” Callie yells, having been incredibly worried, and after having spoken to Addison, she’d learned that the redhead had told Mark to show her that he really wanted this, before he disappeared. She knew that Addison was probably worried to death, thinking that Mark had bailed on her. Addison was her best friend - Mark as well, but she was going to kick his ass if he hurt Addison. “I’ve been in New York, Torres. Relax.”He says tiredly, and Callie almost loses it. “Relax? RELAX? You want me to relax after I’ve been told by Addison that you want to work it out with her, and then you disappear, shortly after promising her that you were going to prove to her that you were going to be there? RELAX?”She yells, and he sighs, getting a headache. He knows he has to call the redhead.

He hadn’t really thought about contacting Addison, or anybody else before leaving. He’d left without really thinking. And coming back, he figured that he’d get calls, asking how he was doing, if his injuries were healing up nicely, not get a call from Callie about Addison. Sighing, he tells Callie that he’ll call her back, knowing that he needs to call the redhead. He dials her number - which he has memorized, and waits for her to pick up. Once she picks up the phone, Mark begins to speak. “I’m sorry, Red. For leaving without calling. I went to New York, because my cousin died.”He says quietly onto the phone, before mentally kicking himself. He doesn’t want her to pity him.

He looks up, to find the six year old  gone. Not in the living room, and he begins to panic. “Uh, Addison. Do you mind coming over? So we can talk? And I can tell you about me going to New York, and….”He says trailing off, as he looks under the coffee table, wondering if a six year old could fit under there. “…and talk about what I brought back from New York. It’s important. And, I’d like to apologize in person for pulling a disappearing act on you.”He says to her as he suddenly curses. “Shit. Look, I’ll see you in a little while, if you can make it. Door’s unlocked so you can let yourself in.”He says quickly, as he begins to get into panic mode, trying to find the child. The minute he’s done speaking, he quickly hangs up the phone, panicking, as he tries to find the child.

[theadulterousbitch]

It had been weeks since Addison had gone to Izzie’s apartment to talk to Mark, weeks since they had decided to actually try and date the proper way rather than just throwing sex into the mix automatically. Mark had said some things that made her think that maybe he was telling the truth and that he actually wanted to make it work - but then without notice and without warning, as quickly as he had professed his love for the redhead he was virtually untraceable. No one had heard from him, not even Izzie  and she had been the one that was caring for him since he was released from the hospital. It was typical Mark behavior to cut and run when things got tough, when he felt like he was being backed into a corner and couldn’t do anything to stop it or control the sitation. It was also enough proof for Addison to realize that he was never going to change and him up and leaving for weeks on end without any type of communication wasn’t something at Addison was really looking forward to explaining to a three year old toddler who, didn’t deserve any of this. Hell, Addison didn’t deserve it either. 

Since Mark’s disappearing act, everyone was asking about him. Curious to know how he was, when he was coming back to work and more importantly what was the latest drama in the triangle that was Addison, Derek, and Mark. If you could even call it that - to be honest, her answers had been the same to everyone except for Amelia and Callie - she didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t know where he was and she didn’t know when he was coming back or if he was at all to be honest. She found herself at a loss, she wasn’t exactly shocked by the way things were taking place, she had actually expected all of this to happen. Well, she hadn’t expected him to up and leave the way he had - but, him not being all in to be with her and prove it and of course be there for Ella: that had been something that she had doubted from day one. 

Mark had been given chance after chance with Addison, and each time he seemed to always fuck it up over something. He was never ready, he was never going to be ready. It was best if she just cut her losses and moved on. They couldn’t keep up this trying to make it work charade for the rest of their lives, it was exhausting. Addison was exhausted - and she needed to focus all of her time and energy on Ella not a man who may or may not want to be with her. 

Addison had just gotten in from a day at the Seattle Zoo with Ella, who was happily eating a snack at the kitchen counter and still gushing over everything that they had done that day when the phone ring, when Addison looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Mark she sighed, she wasn’t sure if she was relived that he was in face alive and well or if she should be pissed that he actually had the balls to call her after all of the time he failed to not call her. Picking the phone up and pressing it against her ear, she doesn’t even attempt to sound grateful or cheery with his phone call. “What do you want?” Addison spatted out into the phone. He immediately starts talking about how he’s sorry and when she hears him say that his cousin had died, Addison felt instantly awful about how she had just acted. “Wow. I’m sorry to hear that.” Addison responds, she’s unsure of what to say to him next, there is an obvious awkward silence that falls between the two of them over the phone, and the silence is broken by Mark’s sheer panic voice and asking her if she could come over so they could talk. Addison peered into her kitchen at Ella who was still eating her snack at the counter. “Umm, yeah. Sure. I can come over. I’ll have Ella with me though - I am sure that won’t be a problem.” She says and walks back into the kitchen to Ella. 

When Mark hangs up the phone, Addison does the same and once Ella has finished her snack they are loading up in the car and heading across town to Mark’s apartment. Traffic was abnormally dull for that time of day, which got them to his place in almost record time - much faster than she had expected. Addison got Ella out of her carseat and walked into the apartment building and up to Mark’s apartment. She started to knock but then remembered that he said to come on in - that the door would be unlocked. Addison enters the apartment and looks around for any sign of Mark. “Mark? We’re here.” Addison calls out and shuts the door behind her, adjusting Ella on her hip. “Are you home?”

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

Mark arrives back, looking like he'd just met death. Apparently his headache hadn't gone away. He was supposed to get some rest. Seeing Addison and Ella makes him smile. "I'm home."He says quietly, before he looks around, telling them to make themselves comfortable. "Remember my cousin Teresa? Well, she and her husband died. They had a kid, and apparently I'm the godfather, and the lawyers want me to decide whether to keep the kid, or - you know...send him off to other relatives of mine, or put him in a foster home." He explains, as he leaves the room, looking into the kitchen before he comes back. "I'm the i-d-i-o-t who decided that it was okay to give a kid candy right after we'd arrived back here in Seattle."He explains as he spells the word out, not wanting to be a bad influence on Ella, or his second cousin. "We arrived home, and he ran around for a while, before going off to hide, I think."He says as he goes over to the closet, opening the door, and not finding anyone." "This is crazy. I can take care of my own kid. I can take care of Sofia, and I can sure as hell take care of Ella. What makes them think I can take care of a six year old boy. I may be good with kids, but I'm not a pro. Do I look like I'm a child whisperer?"He complains to Addison, before he walks over to her, and wraps his arms around her, feeling like an idiot, and feeling quite rude for not having said hello to her the minute he'd walked in. "I've missed you, Red."He tells her. "I wish I could've had you there, with me. At the funeral. But, you know my dramatic family."He says, before muttering a curse word under his breath, as he hugs her again, before he brings his hands to her back, rubbing it gently.. "I should have left a message for you or Izzie. Though speaking of Izzie, she'll probably end up murdering me, the minute  she sees me. That time you visited me was the first time I'd walked. That week, I'd gotten up on my feet, and the day you arrived, I was still getting used to it."He explains, not wanting to run into Izzie. "They want me to make a decision. You know my family. How the hell did Teresa and I end up as the sane ones out of all the Sloans. I don't want to send the kid off to a foster home, or relatives of mine. And I'm not ready to take on another kid fill time. It isn't fair. I wanted time to get to know Ella, to get to know her for who she is, and to show her I'd never leave. To show you that I can be a good father to her, like I am with Sofia. I don't know what to do, Addison. I don't know what to decide. Why the hell have they chosen me to make a decision like this? I want a family. With you, Ella, Sofia and me. But...."He says trailing off, before he sits on the couch, letting out a loud sigh as he feels a little better, resting for the first time. "I mean look at me. I gave a six year old boy candy, and already he's hiding from me in this place. I'm a terrible godfather. This isn't fair. I...he's a good kid. I don't know what to do. Addison..."He says, and then trails off, looking at her with a pleading look in his eyes

[ohmygreys]

[c-est-seulement-la-vie]

I’m not taking you to dinner. I will take you to lunch Saturday afternoon, in broad daylight. We’ll eat in a public place, then maybe take a walk on a crowded street. We’ll get to know each other. See if we have an interest in the same kind of future. Because I wanna build a life. And a family. And I’m not wasting my time on someone who doesn’t share that interest.

Mark, to Addison

[im-not-a-cop-today-honey-deacti]

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

I close my eyes, and all I see is you.

[markmcsteamysloan-blog]

OOC:

I have to go to work tomorrow. I shall reply to Meredith, and Lexie after that. Bye, guys. I love you alll!