@marmailade - Tumblr Blog

(1) Thom Browne (f/w 2024), (2) Schiaparelli (f/w 2022), (3) Roberto Cavalli (f/w 2000), (4) Schiaparelli (f/w 2021), (5) Iris van Herpen (f/w 2011), (6) Olivier Theyskens (f/w 1998)

loveletter2you

dadu shin

rudygodinez

Lutz Bacher, Appropriated Celestial Photographs, (2012)

ijaazat

in a train right now, i can see the city lights and i feel so so overwhelmed

serial-kissing

ARE YOU SHITTING ME

flowerais-deactivated20211031

you’ll find new people to have deep conversations with. you’ll find a new place to feel at home in. you’ll find a reason to be genuinely excited to wake up in the morning. you’ll find someone who will reinvent your tainted version of love. you’ll find a way to reconceptualise your feelings and turn to healthy ways to cope. you’ll find a way to reach your goal and improve yourself. you’ll find a way to live every day with inner peace and appreciation for everything you have.

a-spoon-is-born

“You have to cheat. Ask for as many extensions on papers as you possibly can. Pretend your computer is broken. Use your charm if you have any. If you’re going to cry, don’t wait until you’re out of the room–do it where the people in power can see you. Eat the same food every day if you can’t think of anything else to make. Put other things ahead of taking a shower, even if your mom said you have to take a shower every two days. Sometimes people won’t notice you’re cheating but even if they do and are annoyed you might still get by. My mom goes to workshops for people with ASD and then gives me the really long printouts that go along with them. The printouts tell me to sit down and make a list of everything I have to do. When I am anxious, as I have been this year, it’s hard to think about these things so I hold on to the printouts out of guilt but don’t actually read them. Then my mom finds them and gets upset that I haven’t read them and says that I’m not ready to live on my own. But I am ready to live on my own. Badly. Just like I can hold down a full-time job. Badly. Just like I am getting my homework done. Badly. And I forget to balance my checkbook, which none of my non-disabled friends do because you can get it online, and my mom says, “Well it’s different for you because they would be able to do it if they needed to, but you wouldn’t, so you have to do it.” Theoretically I understand this is true, but my checkbook remains unbalanced. Which is bad. And I feel bad. I do! At this rate I’ll never be able to go to college. But I do go to college. At this rate I’ll never be able to have any friends. But I do have friends. I just don’t do everything right with them all the time. For people whose lives are controlled by executive dysfunction, I firmly believe the difference between getting stuff done and not getting stuff done is not caring about doing things right. You cannot always make a list all the time and be early for everything. You just can’t. Hopefully you’re good-looking or funny or you remind someone of their niece. Exploit all opportunities. Do not do what people who are not disabled tell you to do (unless you want to, of course). All too often I find myself waiting for the day when I can do shit properly, which more or less amounts to waiting until I’m not disabled anymore. Then I can feel good enough to deserve everything I want. Well my cure is slow in arriving, so I’m just going to do everything I want now, if that’s okay with you.”

—

from I’m Somewhere Else, “Max is a Miracle”

The best advice I’ve heard on how to get through college with a developmental disability when there are zero accommodations for executive dysfunction. You can’t let anyone else try to live your life for you, and you cannot worry about “doing things right”. Also: none of the things described here as “cheating” are ACTUALLY cheating.