Lines/things in the red white and royal blue movie that make me scream and laugh hysterically (bear with me cause there’s a lot):
‘an urge I currently share’ (Ellen)
‘Making it was one of the most depressing moments of my career and I once saw Mitch McConnell eating a banana’ (Zahra)
‘You can hate prince Henry all you want but the minute you see a camera you better act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin d deficiency’ (made even funnier cause of how literally this turned out) - bonus ‘what if I set myself on fire’ (Alex), we’d ship the ashes to Heathrow’ (Zahra)
‘That’s perfect, you can kill me and I won’t have to go’ (Henry)
‘That’s what makes you so charming. That and your eyelashes.’ (So fucking glad they included at least a reference to this. Taylor’s lashes were working fucking overtime in this movie.)
Henry’s text with the attachment and ‘but we were ever so careful, dear. (One of my favourite texts in the book and I’m so glad it made it into the movie)
‘Can you think of anything more wasteful’ (Alex), ‘Perhaps this conversation’ (Henry)
Henry’s weird little attempt at dancing while chugging out of a champagne bottle with on fist pumping weakly into the air (he is so me it hurts)
‘He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football’
‘Princes aren’t allowed to be gay, you should know that’ (Nora)
Alex trying to look cool for when Henry walks into the red room (we love an awkward boy)
Alex and Henry jumping apart to do the most unnatural things (Alex inspecting flowers like it’s his job and Henry perusing the bookshelf) like the idiots they are when Amy walks in on them making out
‘Are you still…’ (Alex) ‘Like Stonehenge’ (Henry) ‘or Big Ben’ (Alex)
‘Henry and I are much happier against walls’ (Alex)
‘Are they known for their homosexual tendencies’ (Alex)
‘And I thought Alex Gabriel Claremont Diaz was a mouthful’ (Alex), ‘He is’ (Henry) - and the fucking looks that followed it (kill me now)
‘I went to an English boarding school dear, trust me your in good hands’ (Henry)
‘Once, unsuccessfully’ (Henry)
‘Oh gee kid I’m sorry to interrupt your process of becoming but you’re the one who decided to put your dick into the heir to the British throne’ (Zahra), ‘Technically I’m the spare’ (Henry), ‘Not talking to you sir’ (Zahra)
‘Every time I see you it takes another year off of my life’ (Zahra)
Alex’s ‘Noooo..’ and the little laugh he does
‘If I’d had more warning I could’ve made you a PowerPoint presentation’ (Ellen) - another incredible callback to the book
Oscar Diaz’s affectionate ‘you little shit’
‘I’ve been thinking’ (Alex), ‘I seriously doubt that’ (Henry) and Alex’s mimick of it (absolute gold)
‘Or find herself at the top of the staircase with Phillip around’ (Bea, you literally had no right)
Zahra’s face when Alex starts mooning over Henry after his speech, then Zahra saying ‘oh my god, I just have to do everything round here’ and do not get me started on her whole speech to Shaan (greatest thing ever)
‘You might be lousy at keeping secrets kiddo, but I’m not’ (Zahra), ‘Zahra, I could kiss you’ (Alex), ‘Touch me and die’ (Zahra)
‘They can’t keep you locked away forever’ (Alex), ‘We really need to get you a book on English history’ (Henry)
The way Stephen Fry says ‘homosexual’
‘You still haven’t noticed my tie’ and Henry’s little smile afterward (oh how far we’ve come)
BONUS: ‘Do you think anyone noticed?’ and Henry’s exasperated sigh afterward
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
areudirty
romaincrisis
snowghoul
