dandelion deathbox @marshtwain - Tumblr Blog

Mado Kara Mieru - Christopher Tin

#o holy dang #song of the week #this is like the first time i listened to 'run boy run' all over again #or kimi no gin no niwa

why this last week has been hell

fever

coughing

nausea

coughing up blood

travelling 12 hours in the backseat of a car when i was increasingly uncertain about the safety of public restrooms the closer i got to the center of the country, but not wanting to ask my dad to come in to listen to me pee in a multistall

endless hours of NPR with shitty reception

parents arguing

mom jumping on me and dad whenever we have a disagreement that we are just about to sort out- REALLY IRRITATING HABIT

parents being incredibly irritable/impatient and insisting that i am ‘too much of an adult’ to be confused by times being phrased like ‘ten to two’ when i am stoned as hell on cold medicine and have difficulty with that kind of thing when sober.

sleeping no longer than 2 hours at a time. uncontrollable coughing that is so loud i can sense it in my dead-to-the-world sleep and irritates my parents who are sharing a hotel room with me and shout at me for taking more meds in the middle of the night

high as fuck on cold medicine. you should see my stoned text messages/emails they’re AWFUL.

more coughing

losing time because of sleep schedule being fucked/cold medicine, forgetting where i was

missing out on nice dinners/breakfasts because i am too ill to leave the hotel room

graduations with speeches by sheltered students specifically geared to mock people in my position

graduations featuring families in the stands loudly discussing how they physically disciplined one of the phd neuroscience graduating students down below as a child and how much she deserved it.

setting a menu on fire in a nice restaurant

grandma lecturing me for not finishing an ENORMOUS-ASS cocktail when i dislike being drunk-to-puking around my family. i don’t even like being drunk-to-puking around my friends or on my own. why can’t half-cocktails exist and be half-price?

grandma saying stuff about not wanting to be around mentally-ill people. i do not engage.

grandma saying shit about the wait staff’s tattoos in a voice that they can probably overhear. i engage grandma with trolling.

taking care of a puppy THAT IS NOT MINE who eats my clothing, destroys my lamp, chews my phone charger to pieces, poops/pees in the house after scratching to be let back in and running away to chase birds on walks- and i am yelled at for ‘not watching her closely enough’- for the last seven months and anticipating something like two weeks of vacation from taking care of this puppy 24/7 and effectively being under house arrest because she can’t be left alone (i haven’t seen any friends in a month and a half and it’s starting to fuck with my well-being), only to find out my sister, with whom i have a very, very complicated relationship, is coming home tonight with her puppy and the puppy will be back in the house and my nice dude underwear is an endangered species I AM NOT KIDDING

travelling back 12 hours in a far more crowded car full of my sister’s apartment stuff and everything being way more cramped than it was the first time around

getting my own beloved dog back from the neighbors caring for him while we were away and finding a large growth that wasn’t there five days ago

i have a panic attack over my three-year-old happy dog filling up with tumors

mom negates panic attack by telling me it’s a harmless lipoma and we’ll take him to the vet

vet tells me today it’s most likely PART OF HIS ORGANS hanging partially out of his body

my dog goes back in two days for surgery

STILL COUGHING/headaches/more fevers

no one believing me that i’m as ill as i say i am

i can’t draw on nyquil/mucinex severe cold drink mix

running on 15 hours of sleep for the whole week

worries about being broke

my dog ;n;

NICE THINGS

new worldbuildy steven universe episode

oodlesodoodles

other peeps checking in with me

rping hermann and newt for hours and hours and hours THANK YOU THANK YOU

korean food being within sickly walking distance of the hotel

grandma realizing i have a dollop of social maturity when i handle a moment that would otherwise have caused interfamily drama and panic/guilt with discretion. GO ME.

i managed to not punch anyone in the face/throw a screaming tantrum

#cut for whining #idk maybe delete later

blog and art slowed thanks to persistent sick

running my third fever in the last week and a half

and i left my bottle of nyquil for my uncontrollable nighttime coughing back in michigan

EDIT: trying so hard to not throw up the only food in the house i had any energy to make, shivering and sweating in my Hermann bombercoat

#fuck #something has gotta give #dripping with sweat and my eyes hurt #drawing with a fever makes my proportions... interesting #i haven't slept properly in like a week thanks to the coughing #the only consolation is that my nose is at least clear but my throat has that swallowed-unchewed-nacho feel #delete later

I am dying a slow and painful death, like a cockroach, a poisoned cockroach, from your agonisingly beautiful fanart and your impeccable taste in fic. Thank you so much for existing.

It kills me, kills me in the best of ways, that people are still going through my multifandom fic reclists (HERE and HERE) and finding stuff that interests them.

From experience, I’m not really geared to be a mega-fandom person, I prefer the quieter corners and smaller fandoms where people are still producing quality stuff, without expectations; they just want to make something good, regardless of whether anybody will give it any attention. So when I make multifandom rec lists, I always make sure there’s a little something for everyone from every fandom I’m remotely familiar with, while also lining up with my interests.

It’s like a Venn Diagram of obscurity and what I perceive as quality* so, dear anon, have some more fic recs :)

Letters Home - Penknife - The Secret Garden

St. Martin in the Fields - bmouse - Redwall

No Exit - futuresoon - Welcome to Night Vale

Meditations on Rule - undomielregina - Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

A Girl’s Guide to Open Heart Surgery - novembersmith, swiiftly - Jennifer’s Body (cw for blood, cannibalism)

And Where You Live - Themistoklis - Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

203: Meet me in the dark - SevlinRipley - Peter Pan

Breathe deep, think far - laughingpineapple - Dinotopia

The Parable of the Pamphlet - neveralarch - Discworld

Dive - miikkaa_xx - Pacific Rim

They Might Be Giants - PunkHazard - Pacific Rim

In Every Person, A Universe - TrufflesTheMushroom - Pacific Rim

cross your heart and take me with you - drashian - Pacific Rim

scene after scene - drashian - Pacific Rim

the clothes make the man - intangible_girl - Captain America/MCU

The Sleeping Soldier - rat_chan - Captain America/Jim Henson’s The Storyteller

A Problem of Geodynamics - mazily - Avatar the Last AirbenderArtificial Devotion - katie_m - Galaxy Quest

As far as the art goes, thank you. I do try my best and make a concerted effort to try and draw something every day I can. I try to think of things that might not be the first thing to come to mind for others, so I can surprise them with something new or expand on characters/the world in interesting ways- which is like that feeling you get when you give other people presents you think they’ll really like, only it keeps going and going. I hope to put up a lot more art in the future, for myself and others (and you) to enjoy!

*Your definition of quality may be different than mine, and that’s ok. You may be looking for different things than me.

#fic recs #this ask is so old i've been trying to answer it properly for a while now #thank you #please tell me if you find anything you like in these lists it'd make me so happy #marsh working on getting better at receiving compliments #this does not come naturally #<3 #Anonymous

ironychan

Okay. You know those shippers who need their favourite characters to be gay so badly that they deny the validity of all previous romantic relationships and the very existence of bisexuality?

From now on, we’re calling them Jean Grays.

sommerrev

marshtwain

AHAHA RELEVANT thank you thank you

bless you for tagging me in this

#bi erasure #fandom please stop demonizing women in your slash pairings #you can have your slash without being idiots #not everything in life comes in rigid little boxes #some of the boxes overlap or blur or include other boxes #nesting within them like russian doll sets #everyone stop shitting on each other and being biphobic because your responses can make me feel very unsafe #and i'm sure other people feel the same #y'all are making us uncomfortable cut it out #lol that comic is so awkward yucky yuck #call out bobby for catcalling but don't punish him by forcing him out of the closet

Uuugh

When most of your triggers involve your door being slammed open suddenly while you’re still unconscious and someone starts screaming at you AND IT HAPPENS ALMOST EVERY MORNING your parents are home and they act like the world is ending every time you mention getting a lock for the door like saying you don’t trust them or nooo you might damage the door

NEWS FLASH: what they are saying is that 1) the door to my room is more important than my stomach muscles knotting so tightly in preparation for being physically hurt that it takes me hours to be able to uncurl without pain and it thoroughly ruins the rest of my day, and 2) they are upset that their refusal to change their behavior (which we discussed as dealbreakers when I moved back in after running away) actually affects my sense of safety and willingness to trust them.

#delete later #tw: abuse #arrrrrgh #my triggers: doors slamming #sudden violent movements #angry shouting #stomping getting closer #people touching me before i'm awake #being told i am worthless and slow #threats to my money and attempts to manipulate #being told i'm ugly #threats of physical violence #threats to my belongings #being told i'm misremembering things or that i only remember the bad stuff #there was a lot of bad stuff ok are you fucking surprised that's why i remember being miserable as a kid #being told that i need to 'get over' things because that's life #listening to stories about doing poorly in school #because my parents told me through their actions and words that that was the entirety of my self-worth #nevermind this kid's emotional needs and wants #lets do everything to ensure they never feel good about anything unless they score As and A+s when i am a B and C student #i'm sorry for sucking so much holy shit but nothing was ever good enough for you #threatening to destroy my art/actually destroying my art #i remember being 12 and being forced to burn my art because it was a 'distraction'#my parents once got into a fistfight in front of me when i couldn't understand fractions #my mom told me later that they nearly divorced because of me #i am getting a lock today fuck this #it's been three years of putting it off i'm DONE #one more trigger: whips/being whipped/watching other people being whipped/belted #i feel like they have more of my trust than they probably deserve

✍ AMETHYST!

#i didn't look at a reference oops #drawing hands with a mouse is fucking evil because you have to keep joints and anatomy in your head and move around a thing that is very cou #i used to work in ms paint with a laptop track pad and a finger and that was more intuitive for me than a mouse #oelm

Cassandra from Full Tilt :o

Chaos Lady

(I always saw her as like a slightly younger Eris, only more grey and red and less purple)

#chantillyxlacey #i drew this with the mouse for extra challenge points

iemasa-deactivated20180209

Send me a ✍ and a character and I'll draw the character horribly on MS Paint.

nacly

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

fuddraws

SURE I’ll do a few of these!

#i reserve the right to not draw characters i don't like #but try me anyway :P

Head Rolls Off - Frightened Rabbit

#song of the week #it's a frightened rabbit kinda day for me #time to draw

birdloaf

AHHH FINALLY FINISHED! kinda nervous about posting this but here is the main part of my senior thesis project – an animated music video about two kids struggling with their gender expression, for jónsi’s song “tornado.” phew

content warnings for dysphoria, dissociation, and some mild surrealism/horror. (also here’s a vimeo link since I think the audio might be blocked in some countries) edit: i should add that binding with ace bandages is dangerous and was depicted here purely for visual clarity, do not bind with ace bandages irl

#i had a bad dream about being fired for being trans last night #i really needed this #i love the punk transgirl!#i never had the guts to cut my hair growing up and never thought of it as an option #but dang that boy gave himself a nice haircut #cutting your own hair is frickin hard #also yeah don't bind with ace bandages #i usually only bind at all if it's a bad day or i need to go outside where i might be seen by other people #and i have legit binders #and even then i'm a bit sore after taking them off #don't mess up your ribcage people #i love birdloaf's work #animation #clothing department stores were like the number one cause of dysphoria growing up #this vid got that right #also awkwardness of locker rooms which i didn't realize i felt even more awkward than everyone else until waaaaay later #clothing stores are still dysphoric because you realize how little your body type is catered to #i was almost crying with frustration doing returns after christmas #goddammit i don't want lil boy shoes i want the nice quality mens shoes that aren't designed to fall apart after three months

Visit Original Link

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#i couldn't find this version anywhere except a youtube link that doesn't allow embedding #are you excited for digimon tri because i am #first fandom #please no season 2 kids #sorry everyone just got a lot more jerky and why you gotta do that digimon #yolei was supposed to be the smart one but i can't remember any plot-changing smart stuff she did??#izzy had his computer and was constantly hooking up with gennai to infodump at us #why shortchange yolei #their poor outfits #i missed the old kids who didn't feel so manipulative or obsessed with one girl who repeatedly tells you no #02 ending what was WITH you noodle cart what even #i loved season 1 and tamers so much #season 1 was weird and kind of QUALITY but in a way i enjoyed #post-apocalyptic surreal world to explore full of mechanical shit that made no sense #(ok i did love silphymon from season 2 because what gender even was silphymon it was awesome)#(bring back silphymon)#(they're so cool)#please don't kill my tumblr #song of the week

jeez it’s been like years since i drew a skeleton but i still (sorta) remember how ribs work. they’re too LONG/BIG to fit in there with everything else but w/e. i remembered.

oodles dared me to draw newko’s skeleton. do gems HAVE skeletons? the world may never know. i drew it anyway.

the lower set of arms would be tucked into the armpit of the top arms, and a little more inset into the body with smaller deltoids. giant hellboy hands/wrists are like my favorite monster feature ever; i try to include it into every nonhuman design i draw because it’s so clunky and chunky and satisfying

(like cherno alpha)

#the skull at top right is also too big cuz i was looking at a human skeleton ref instead of my newko drawing #oops #my art #thank you anatomy 201 class from 6 years ago

hamishmash replied to your photo: “(This drawing is tiny. Mako is less than a centimeter tall. Some...”:

can we draw stuff? for this? cos i'm digging it!

oh man, please do if you'd like! seriously, i'd love to see it. i'm gonna draw a newko skeleton later tonight myself :D

(just please don't draw newt/anybody with knives, because i have a knife phobia and won't feel comfortable reblogging you if you draw that)

#AAAA PEOPLE WANTING TO DRAW STUFF FOR MY (and oodles's) DUMB AUs #aichmophobia