
@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe

PR's Tumblrdome
Sade Olutola

Origami Around
Noah Kahan
No title available

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
cherry valley forever
Cosmic Funnies

gracie abrams

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tannertan36

bliss lane
No title available
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

blake kathryn

seen from Armenia

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@marta-reblogs
good omens post
Left is MY FIC, right is the ACTUAL BOOK QUOTE IT WAS INSPIRED BY
(Mask context: masquerade ball / cinderella au)
It has been doing numbers EVERYWHERE and I only found out from this lovely person who commented on Ao3:
So yeah I guess if anyone wants to read an 8 year old Song of Achilles fanfic written in a fever dream after watching Into The Woods, be my guest
I shit you not, one of my friends got engaged and used this for their caption yesterday 😭😭😭
Should I tell her 🤭
NOOOOOO OH MY GOD LMAO
That is a new level of containment breach
King's Crown by Season
The King is done. Bilbo's half of the spread coming soon.
🍂☘️⛰️
Damn my leg.
We would like to once again apologize to Dr. Jones for last year's mistaken announcement. We should really have double-checked the envelope for this award in particular.
Calibration Nobel [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
How cruel a trait; Kindness so foul will seal your fate.
julian your lizard wife is so beautiful and strange
my house is scary at night
Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications
in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives
[Image description: a text exchange, all in caps.
Sending: "Guess how many words I wrote today"
Receiving: "[four eye emojis]
Receiving: "How many?"
Sending: "You don't have to guess I'm going to tell you"
Sending: "1"
Description ends.]
Martin Freeman
[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law student’s life
oh hello you’ve returned to us
the “bad guys” in hallmark movies end up always being the most respectful men ever.
because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.
and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.
and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”
and then, after finding out his entire relationship was a lie and he had his life turned upside down in a week and he got dumped on christmas, this guy’s just like “ok yeah that makes sense. i only wish you the best of happiness with mark. i hope you guys build a great life together in christmastreefarmville. thank you for everything.”
An AU where two Hallmark Christmas Bad Guys are both getting flights back to New York after being dumped by their respective Smalltown Blonde Girlfriends, and they bond over their shared experiences and fall in love in the departures lounge
@teashoesandhair your wish is my command :)
Probably, Levi should be more upset.
Probably he is still in shock. Right? He looks out of his taxi window (it's not technically a taxi, just some guy named Corey who offered him a ride to the airport, because Uber doesn't operate in fucking Tinyville, Bumfuck Middle-Of-Nowhere, Utah) and tracks water droplets racing each other down the glass, because of course it's raining, and his bad knee is killing him.
Levi sniffs and rubs at his eyes and then pulls out his phone and books a ticket back to New York, wincing as four hundred and twenty-six dollars are deducted from his bank account.
And, like, he should definitely be more upset.
He just got broken up with. He was engaged, for God's sake. A four-year relationship… over. Just like that.
Corey says, "Ten minutes to the station."
Gahhhhhh!!!
Tbr later, so awesome
Parkour. Xavier huffed out a quiet laugh, staring at himself in the mirror while he brushed his teeth. The black eye has almost completely faded now, thank fuck. He was tired of looking like a raccoon. All that remained was a fading yellow-green bruise along the bottom of his eye socket, and he’d take that any day over trash panda chic. He rinsed out his mouth and tucked the toothbrush into the cabinet.
Christmas Day. A week ago, he’d sat, freshly punched and bloody, in an airport lounge swapping identically fucked breakup stories with a guy named Levi, and now in precisely 1 hour and 43 minutes he was going to be meeting up with him for brunch. He studiously ignored the mess of clothes piled on the bed as he strode through the apartment, slipping into his overcoat and patting his pockets. Keys. Phone. Wallet. Before he left, he gave Captain a couple scritches between the ears.
It was a ten minute walk to the train, and cold as balls out. Xavier hunched his shoulders against the wind and buried his hands in his pockets, belatedly wondering if he should run back in for his gloves and scarf. Technically, he probably had time. It only took 30 minutes by train - supposedly - to get to the restaurant Levi had texted him. He wavered uncertainly for a few steps, then shook his head and hurried on. If he went back, it was almost guaranteed he’d end up on a train that would get stuck in a tunnel behind a bad signal switch or something, and be horrifyingly late.
He tried not to examine why he so desperately didn’t want to be late.
At the train station, he looked around for a second for a cop, and when none appeared, hopped over the turnstile and made his way to the platform, deep in his own thoughts. It’s not like he’d never had a thing for a guy before. There were a couple drunk one night stands in college, and he'd dated Mark for two and a half years before Mark moved to London and he’d met Chloe. Unbidden, a memory from early in their relationship came to his mind as he boarded the F train and plopped into a seat.
They’d been out to dinner, and in that stage of learning about each other where past relationships came up. Chloe had just exhaustively listed all the things wrong with her ex, Noah, and asked him about his last relationship, and when he’d said Mark’s name, she’d frowned, wrinkling her nose, and changed the subject immediately. He sucked in a breath thinking about it now. How had he forgotten? Had the rose-coloured glasses been that strong?
Like a worst-of montage, he recalled time after time when Chloe had seemed embarrassed or annoyed by reminders that he was bi. Interrupting him or shushing him with their friends (her friends), looking cross if he ever mentioned Mark, mocking and disparaging the oh-so-occasional bisexual character in a movie they watched.
I guess I can at least thank Christmas-Tree-Farm-What’s-His-Fuck for saving me from marrying her, he thought wryly, and only just managed to jump off the train at the right stop. He checked his phone. He still had 45 minutes, and the restaurant was only a couple blocks from the train station.
It’s fine, he argued silently as he huddled against the wind again and hurried his pace. Levi will probably just show up on time, and he’ll never know how early you were. Levi seemed like the ‘showing up exactly on time’ type of guy.
He spotted the restaurant half a block away and picked up his pace a little more, tired of the wind. The heat of the restaurant washed over him as he entered, and he paused just inside the door to let his eyes adjust to the dimmer light, unbuttoning his overcoat. The door opened again behind him, and he shifted over out of the way automatically.
“Xavier?”
Xavier turned astonished eyes to the newcomer, now revealed to be Levi, staring at him with a flush creeping up from the apples of his cheeks to his temples. Fuck, that’s cute, he thought involuntarily, and he prayed Levi would blame the cold for the sudden color he could feel in his ears. “Hi Levi.”
Genius repartee, dumbass.
At least it seemed like Levi was having a similar struggle. “You’re early…” he said faintly. “I mean, we’re both early…”
“Table for two?” Xavier silently blessed the girl sitting at the host stand and turned toward her, sliding his coat off and failing to convince himself that his rapid pulse was simply because of the quick walk from the train station.
Levi’s voice strengthened marginally. “I uh… have a reservation, actually.” He slid out of his own coat. “Under Lawrence.”
The familiar bustle of getting seated and ordering drinks seemed to settle both of them a bit. Xavier decided pretty quickly what he wanted to eat, and took the opportunity to watch as Levi pored over the menu, his lip caught absently between his teeth.
Xavier drew a slow breath, feeling a gentle desire creep into his mind. He wanted to reach across the table and cradle Levi’s chin in his hand. He wanted to draw his fingers through Levi’s sandy brown hair, brush it back from his brow.
Levi set aside the menu just as their server returned to the table, and Xavier wrestled his traitorous thoughts under control while Levi gave her his order. He’d only just met the man. They were both very recently, very traumatically single. He had no idea if Levi was even interested in men.
But he had to admit, he conceded inwardly, that he was very interested in Levi.
Just like on the plane, once they broke through the first few minutes of awkwardness, conversation flowed like water. Xavier felt again the warm glow of being with a person who was listening, who wasn’t distracted or disapproving. When he wasn’t frozen with nerves, Levi was intelligent and enthusiastic, and funny. Goddamn, he was funny. By the time they reluctantly gathered up their coats and left the table, Xavier’s cheeks ached from grinning.
They loitered on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. Xavier didn’t want to leave. He was caught in Levi’s green eyes, sparkling with humor; in the bashful, lopsided smile he wore. He wanted to keep listening to the clear tenor of his voice. He wanted to gather Levi close into his arms and trace his features with the gentleness he somehow knew that Anika would never have shown him.
“Do you want to come back to my place?” The words escaped his lips before he could haul them back. He saw Levi’s eyes widen, and hurried on. “I think I’ve got some beers in the fridge, and you could meet Captain. I dunno, it just- being alone sucks hard during the holidays, and I thought-”
“Yes.” Levi seemed almost as surprised at his answer as Xavier was. Xavier watched him take a deep breath, eyes locked with Xavier’s for a long moment. “I think I’d like that.”
-
“Careful on the last couple stairs here,” he said as they approached his landing. He reached into his pocket for his keys and stuck the apartment key in the lock. “We keep asking the landlord to fix them, but-”
A sharp gasp and creak on the stairs made him spin around in time to see Levi start to fall backward from taking a rickety step with his bad knee. Before he had time to think, Xavier darted forward and snaked an arm around Levi’s waist, pulling him back up the stairs and into his chest.
Both men froze. Xavier’s heart was pounding in his ears, his arm still tightly wrapped around Levi’s waist. He should let go. He should really let go. But Levi’s hands gripped his biceps, and Levi’s chest was pressed against his, and Levi’s lips were parted ever so slightly, and for a long moment Xavier couldn’t move.
Captain whined impatiently behind the door, and Xavier pulled in a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Right,” he murmured, loosening his arm and carefully stepping back. “Come on in.”