Story of My Life Starters (Pt. 2)
[ ooc: Again, feel free to reblog, and to add/change things as you send them in! :) ]
It took me nine minutes to accomplish this.
It took me nine minutes to GIVE A FUCK!
And then there were these tables!
What he doesn’t realize is that I -have- lost my temper like that before.
I’m hard of hearing, but even I could hear you, you’re so loud.
The Incredible Hulk isn’t real.
It’s real, alright! It’s an Urban Legend.
I should have let him die.
Makes me wish I had died.
I appreciate all he has to deal with, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s an asshole.
This is your first time here, isn’t it?
Believe it or not, this is one of the better options. You don’t want to know what most other options entail.
Is that how you stay eternally young? Just be weird as fuck?
It’s really annoying when you do that.
Well, as far as I know, ______ can go fuck themselves/himself/herself/yourself.
I just don’t know what else to do!
I can’t believe you’ve never done this before.
When I was younger than you are now, I was doing everything.
After all the people that I’ve dealt with, I hardly have the patience for this.
THERE’S FISH IN THE OCEAN?
That shit the scared out of me.
Can I be sorry for not being sorry?
I would prefer if you weren’t like this.
You’d better not say that to anyone.
I can’t feel sympathy for you/her/him/them because I’ve already been through that.
Ew, I really hate that trope.
I’m not exactly here to please you.
Well, the way I see things, you can go fuck yourself.
Is that a guy?! Or is that a dude?!
You know that’s bad for you…
You’re bad for me, but I keep you around.
It wasn’t the drug that killed her. It was her.
I was never abandoned by my parents. But they have turned their backs on me.
It doesn’t matter if it’s legal when there’s no police officer to stop you.
Life is beautiful. I love it.
This is why we have private discussions.
Imagine how hard it must be for ______. Count your blessings and remember it can always be worse.
I am not here to inspire you.
You’re so ugly, I want to kiss you.
We got married for the tax benefits.
How ‘bout a kiss before we eat?
As long as you’re fine with it, I’m okay with anything.