❛ melancholy,

𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 .

[masocholyism]

𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄. even when i doubt you...

a study in: melancholy. martyrdom. monsters & love. death, life after.

edward anthony masen cullen. please read my information here prior to interaction. this is essential to writing with me, as my portrayal is unique to known t.wilight lore. slaughtered by rionach.

TIMELINE.    ||    VERSES.    ||    SIDEBLOG.

until such time that i begin writing with a bella, or any other canon charas, it is important to assume the following with my edward:

- he still loves bella 

- he is not presently living with his family members 

- carlisle and esme remain in washington, but have relocated to seattle 

- he is in regular contact with everyone except bella, who he has agreed to let dictate their communication (which is at least monthly, though sometimes less) 

- i write chronologically, so my edward is set present day as in this year. currently, he is a history professor at dartmouth. however, i am not opposed to writing previous years; i only require some plotting beforehand. 

- no sparkles. your muse CAN’T know he’s a vampire unless they themselves are of supernatural origins or ability, or if edward has told them (which he most likely would not have prior to plotting or interactions). your muse CAN be suspicious of any characteristics or actions of him though.

[pamchop-deactivated20231115]

∘    ▫   ❊   |    ❝  DON’T YOU KNOW I’M NO GOOD FOR YOU?  ❞ / @masocholyism /  𝐄𝐃𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 & 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍. 

soft music plays from a fuzzy sounding speaker in the corner of the diner. dishes clatter from behind the doors to the kitchen. bella’s knees keep bumping into edward's under the table as she fidgets. her shoes tap lightly against the linoleum as she adjusts, re-adjusts, returns to where she had been. the pair have established themselves at the grimy booth for what she might consider to be an undignified amount of time, if she actually took notice of it. the window to her left shows the rain has finally let up, a grey haze taking over the parking lot. a car passes : the headlights illuminate the fog as it twists into abstract, spindly shapes. it's these haunting forms she's zeroed in on when edward speaks. they've had this argument before and yet, she's always distraught when it comes up. a thick french fry falls from her hand to the plate in front of her. goosebumps crawl up the flesh of her arm. before edward, bella swan was rational. sensible. outwardly temperate, accepting even when things didn’t go her way. his presence brings out something solid in her, something straight and proud in her spine. he's something she wants to protect, a moment in time she wants to stay in. ( it's funny, in a dark way, for him to be so worried about hurting her, when all she ever wants is to sink her teeth in him. ) the newfound passion has transformed her. a trained dog, learning to bite. ❝ don’t ! don’t say things like that. ❞

anger flares, working its way through her limbs like venom. bella flexes her hand, crumpling her fingers into a fist, trying to find something to do with a sudden excess of adrenaline. she pushes her half-ate plate away from her, indulging an urge to be petulant, but the anger doesn’t subside. her lips form into a comfortable frown, looking across the booth to fix edward with a flat look. ❝ people do things that are bad for them all the time. they smoke cigarettes. they do drugs. they - they don’t wear their seatbelts. i spend my time with someone who cares immensely about my safety. i could be doing much worse. ❞ bella crosses her arms over her chest, fingernails digging into the skin of her biceps through her thermal shirt. for being someone she loves so much, the vampire has an awe-inspiring talent for enraging her. ❝ don't try and make some decision for me, edward. ❞

[masocholyism]

The  bustle  of  the  diner  does  little  to  drown  out  the  music  spilling  from  its  long  -  outdated  speaker  system,    perhaps  even  for  human  ears.    Edward  clocked  the  tune  just  as  soon  as  the  first  couple  of  plucked  chords  cut  through  the  rest  of  the  din,    recalling  with  perfect  clarity  the  day  the  Mamas  &  the  Papas  released  their  rerecorded  version  of  California  Dreamin’.    In  the  60s,    he’d  fancied  himself  a  musician  himself.    It’s  funny  to  think  back  on  that  time  in  those  decades  where  he’d  strayed  from  and  returned  to  Carlisle  at  his  own  leisure;    funnier  now  that  he  considers  it  more  and  more  once  again,    though  it  pains  him  to  think  not  of  leaving  the  only  father  he  acknowledges  but  of  leaving the  company  he  shares  in  this  very  moment.

In  spite  of  himself,    and  this  redundant  argument,    Edward  smiles.    ❝    Are  you  likening  time  spent  with  me  to  smoking  and  hard  drugs?    ❞  Bella  appears  aggravated  and  though  it  should  shame  him  to  distress  her,    he  much  prefers  her  biting  and  hissing  to  sullen  and  melancholy.    Between  the  two  of  them,    there  is  plenty  of  the  latter  emotions  to  spare  and  he’d  take  her  angry  over  hurting  any  day,    even  if  he  was  the  one  to  anger  her.    In  any  case,    he  finds  her  exceptionally  enticing  with  her  flushed  cheeks  and  her  pinched  brow.    But  all  good  things  must  end  and  his  grin  dims  just  in  time  for  the  song  to  change.    He  is  not  as  impressed  by  the  Journey  track  that  takes  over  the  airwaves.

Around  them,    people  are  concerned  with  little  more  than  a  good  meal  and  the  justification  of  not  tipping  what  they  imagine  is  poor  service  rather  than  overworked  waitresses.    Their  own  server  has  all  but  forgotten  their  quiet  little  corner  booth,    which  to  Edward  and  Bella  is  a  hard  preference.    Beneath  the  table,    Edward  taps  his  toe  to  the  instep  of  Bella’s  shoe.    ❝    You  could  also  be  doing  much  better.    ❞  She  won’t  hear  him  and  he  knows  it.    It  doesn’t  stop  him  frowning  at  her  with  disdain.    ❝    Bella.    I  consider  any  decision  I  make  for  myself  a  decision  I  make  for  you  as  well.    I  won’t  apologize  for  taking  you  into  account  when  I  make  plans  for  the  future.    I  know  you  want  to  stay  here  with  Charlie.    But  I  can’t  stay.    You  know  why.    ❞

[sadprosed]

𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬  𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺.

↬   THE  LANGUAGE  OF  THORNS,  midnight  tales  and  dangerous  magic.   (  2017  )  by  leigh  bardugo.

sentences  taken  from  or  inspired  by  the  collection’s  dialogue  &  narration.

+   feel  free  to  change  pronouns  !

i.    AYAMA  AND  THE  THORN  WOOD.

‘  love  speaks  in  flowers.  truth  requires  thorns.  ’

‘  we  all  know  the  story  of  how  the  queen  becomes  a  queen.  ’

‘  we  should  leave  this  place.  ’

‘  no  doubt  it  will  come  and  devour  us  all.  ’

‘  the  beast  will  laugh  you  right  out  of  the  wild  lands.  ’

‘  you  know  how  the  stories  go.  interesting  things  happen  only  to  pretty  girls.  ’

‘  is  the  wood  much  worse  than  a  garden  overgrown  with  pricklers  ?  ’

‘  stupid  girl  !  do  you  wish  to  become  a  monster  ?  ’

‘  strike  me.  cleave  me  in  two.  ’

‘  you’re  as  thorny  as  the  wood.  ’  

‘  there  is  but  one  rule  in  my  wood.  speak  truth.  ’

‘  perhaps  you  might  show  mercy  freely.  ’

‘  just  eat  a  bit  of  the  sun  to  fill  the  sky,  and  you  will  feel  empty  no  longer.  ’

‘  what  nonsense  !  of  course  that’s  not  how  the  story  ends.  ’

‘  some  people  are  born  with  a  piece  of  night  inside,  and  that  hollow  place  can  never  be  filled.  ’

‘  what  do  i  care  for  winter  ?  no  season  touches  this  wood.  ’

‘  you  know  the  only  bargain  i  will  make.  ’

‘  sometimes  the  unseen  is  not  to  be  feared  and  those  that  are  meant  to  love  us  most  are  not  always  the  ones  that  do.  ’

‘  bad  fates  do  not  always  follow  those  that  deserve  them.  ’

‘  no  prince  is  worth  your  life.  ’

‘  are  you  so  eager  to  be  eaten  ?  ’

‘  they  have  told  me  to  return  with  your  heart.  ’

‘  you  think  to  love  a  monster  ?  ’

‘  a  man  like  you  is  owed  no  words.  ’

ii.    THE  TOO  CLEVER  FOX.

‘  you  are  doomed  to  a  miserable  life.  ’

‘  better  to  be  hungry  now  than  to  be  sorry  later.  ’

‘  what  will  everyone  say  when  they  see  such  a  face  ?  ’

‘  we  have  not  gone  so  soft  as  that.  ’

‘  you  think  that  we  will  let  you  live  on  foolish  promises  ?  ’

‘  you  have  bested  me.  that  much  is  clear.  ’

‘  will  you  not  free  me  ?  ’

‘  you  will  have  a  fine  time  of  it,  i  can  tell  you.  ’

‘  i  can  bear  ugliness.  i  find  the  one  thing  i  cannot  live  with  is  death.  ’

‘  if  you  will  only  cease  your  talking,  i  will  gladly  go.  ’

‘  where  he  went,  he  bled  the  woods  dry.  ’

‘  what’s  a  bit  more  blood  ?  ’

‘  you  should  leave  this  place.  you  are  not  safe  here.  ’

‘  with  such  big  eyes,  i  think  you  see  too  much.  ’

‘  will  you  not  tell  me  what  troubles  you  ?  ’

‘  why  do  you  stay  with  him  ?  you’re  pretty  enough  to  catch  a  husband.  ’

‘  just  because  you  escape  one  trap,  doesn’t  mean  you  will  escape  the  next.  ’

‘  first  i  must  find  my  courage.  ’

‘  few  can  resist  the  sight  of  a  pretty  girl  crying.  ’

‘  the  trap  is  loneliness,  and  no  one  escapes  it.  not  even  me.  ’

‘  in  the  wood,  even  songbirds  must  be  survivors.  ’

iii.    THE  WITCH  OF  DUVA.

‘  there  was  a  time  when  the  wood  ate  girls.  ’

‘  be  back  before  dark.  the  trees  are  hungry  tonight.  ’

‘  who  can  say  what  shapes  an  appetite  ?  ’

‘  this  is  my  home,  you  can’t  just  send  me  away.  ’ 

‘  don’t  be  foolish.  there’s  plenty  of  light.  ’

‘  well  then,  come  help  me  stir  the  pot.  ’

‘  i  will  warn  you  just  this  once.  go.  ’ 

‘  you  cannot  come  and  go  from  this  place  like  you’re  fetching  water  from  a  well.  ’  

‘  hope  made  me  stubborn.  ’

‘  stay  there  and  keep  quiet.  i  don’t  need  rumors  that  i’ve  been  taking  girls.  ’

‘  i  will  not  have  you  bring  a  monster  to  my  door.  ’

‘  you  know  that  you  are  welcome  to  remain  here  with  me.  ’

‘  i  will  follow  her.  i  will  peck  out  her  eyes.  ’

‘  believe  me.  say  you  believe  me.  ’

‘  dark  things  have  a  way  of  slipping  through  narrow  spaces.  ’

iv.    LITTLE  KNIFE.

‘  it  is  dangerous  to  travel  the  northern  road  with  a  troubled  heart.  ’

‘  if  you  are  lost  in  your  own  thoughts,  you  may  find  yourself  stepping  off  the  path  and  into  the  dark  woods.  ’

‘  she  was  beautiful  from  the  moment  of  her  birth.  ’

‘  why  must  i  be  the  one  to  hide  ?  ’

‘  do  you  think  i  am  so  foolish  or  so  cruel  ?  ’

‘  water  only  wants  direction.  it  wants  to  be  told  what  to  do.  ’

‘  always  you  have  done  my  bidding,  but  what  good  are  you  to  me  now  ?  ’

‘  soon  i  will  be  very  rich,  but  will  i  have  a  good  man  ?  ’

‘  that  is  a  question  for  the  river.  ’

‘  your  tongue  is  not  fit  for  my  true  name.  ’

‘  will  you  come  with  me,  and  be  bride  to  nothing  but  the  shore  ?  ’

‘  she  was  terrifying  in  her  beauty,  bright  like  a  devouring  star.  ’

‘  remember  that  to  use  a  thing  is  not  to  own  it.  ’

‘  should  you  ever  take  a  bride,  listen  closely  to  her  questions.  ’

v.    THE  SOLDIER  PRINCE.

‘  this  is  the  problem  with  even  lesser  demons.  they  come  to  your  door  in  velvet  coats  and  polished  shoes.  ’

‘  you  will  find  great  love  and  more  gold  than  you  could  wish  for.  ’

‘  he’s  a  charming  fellow,  but  most  unusual,  and  peculiarities  seem  to  follow  him.  ’  

’  it  seemed  harmless  at  the  time.  ’

‘  he  needed  a  girl,  still  malleable,  one  that  he  could  make  admire  him.  ’

‘  this  is  pleasant.  this  is  enough.  ’

‘  are  you  my  soldier  ?  are  you  my  prince  ?  ’

‘  i  have  not  come  to  fight,  only  to  talk.  ’

‘  wanting  is  why  people  get  up  in  the  morning.  it  gives  them  something  to  dream  of  at  night.  ’

‘  i  am  perfectly  real.  ’

‘  she  loves  you,  though,  and  that  will  make  it  harder.  ’

‘  best  not  to  ask.  i  think  the  answer  would  please  no  one.  ’

‘  we  can  stay  forever  in  the  land  of  dreams.  ’

‘  kiss  me.  take  me  from  this  place.  ’

‘  i  sent  you  to  die  a  hundred  times.  ’

‘  i  eat  the  wonder  in  their  eyes.  ’

‘  you  were  an  idea  in  my  head.  you  were  nothing,  and  to  nothing  you  will  return  when  i  think  of  you  no  more.  ’

‘  you  wanted  only  that  i  might  live.  you  would  sacrifice  your  own  life  to  make  it  so.  ’

‘  are  you  my  darling  ?  are  you  mine  ?  ’

vi.    WHEN  WATER  SANG  FIRE.

‘  you  wish  to  strike  a  bargain.  ’

‘  make  me  someone  new.  ’

‘  this  is  the  problem  with  making  a  thing  forbidden.  it  does  nothing  but  build  an  ache  in  the  heart.  ’

‘  easy  magic  is  pretty.  great  magic  requires  that  you  trouble  the  waters.  ’

‘  no  one  expects  me  to  accomplish  anything.  ’

‘  i  can  smell  your  ambition  like  blood  in  the  water.’  

‘  i  know  that  you  should  keep  it  like  a  secret,  not  shout  it  like  a  curse.  ’

‘  yes.  i  can  imagine  it  all.  ’

‘  you  are  worth  more  than  that.  you  should  not  have  to  earn  him.  ’

‘  hope  rises  like  water  trapped  beneath  a  dam,  higher  and  higher,  in  increments  that  mean  nothing  until  you  face  the  flood.  ’

‘  there  is  no  pain  like  the  pain  of  transformation.  ’

‘  take  your  pleasures  as  you  will.  ’

‘  come,  and  i’ll  tell  you  all  you  wish  to  know.  ’

‘  he  made  me  dream  of  things  i  cannot  have.  ’

‘  i  do  not  care  for  dancing.  ’

‘  look  into  the  mirror,  and  try  to  deny  it.  ’

‘  you  have  never  been  like  the  others,  and  you  never  will  be.  ’

‘  we  were  not  made  to  please  princes.  ’

‘  i  am  not  quite  mortal  either,  and  i  have  many  lives  to  live.  ’

‘  i  wouldn’t  care  if  you  were  part  human  or  part  frog.  ’

‘  my  voice  is  not  enough.  ’

‘  you  know  i  was  never  strong.  ’

[masocholyism]

my writing has changed so much (to me) even just in the year plus i was away from this blog and so now i'm sitting here like goddamnit i have to write like an ASSHOLE again

[masocholyism]

the edward cullen to kaz brekker pipeline is real i have my tinfoil hat on guys

[rosulie]

@masocholyism . obsidian-tinged fabric stretches in one enduring yet subtle stride — lean figure traipses across the marble floor as she eyes herself in the mirror for just a second. ❛❛ look, alice is in venice for another month and esme is preoccupied with whatever she’s doing now. ❜❜ a pause, she turns now with a leg pointed outward ever-so-slightly, and glares at him with no single identifiable intention [to anyone who didn't know her]. ❛❛ even emmett refused to come here 'cause he claimed it smelled too girly? (a concept the other is mundanely aware of, though she cannot help but taunt!) which pains me more than you know. but, i wouldn’t have dragged you here for nothing, which you know— (shuffling through a rack of the same item, she finally holds up two dresses, one blue and one a dark grey.) alright, which one? ❜❜

[masocholyism]

if  he  does  not  spare  her  a  glance,    it  will  make  her  more  irate  and  so  he  does  not  look  at  her.    it  is  unfairly  cruel,    but  then  perhaps  all  the  more  deserving  (  at  least  in  his  mind,    jury  that  he  considers  himself  ).    ❝    emmett  is  a  better  man  than  i.    ❞  that  isn’t  entirely  true.    the  brute  still  calls  to  check  in,    vexing  as  ever.    and  damn  if  edward  doesn’t  ignore  him,    lest  he  face  esme’s  wrath.    being  on  the  receiving  end  of  that,    quiet  as  it  is,    is  never  pleasant.    finally,    he  turns  his  chin  and  spares  her  choices  some  attention.    ❝    you  haven’t  told  me  what  this  is  for.    how  can  i  possibly  decide  if  i  haven’t  the  context,    rose?    ❞

[masocholyism]

i manifested this i really did

[masocholyism]

best headcanon i ever had was that edward dated stevie nicks in the 60s

[masocholyism]

they wrote a song together too! it’s never been released by either of them but it’s called “dressed in sonata”

[masocholyism]

best headcanon i ever had was that edward dated stevie nicks in the 60s

[masocholyism]

oh pinterests?

[masocholyism]

y’lan noel as emmett

[masocholyism]

[masocholyism]

i am once again……. showing off……..

[masocholyism]

good morning to edward and alice’s dynamic

[edweirdcoolen]

⤷    EDWARD’S VEHICLE COLLECTION, AS OF 2022. (in order left to right, top to bottom)

𝟙. 2001 Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. Silver. Kept in a private warehouse in Chicago, IL.

𝟚. 2005 Volvo S60 R. Silver. Kept in a private warehouse in Chicago, IL (this is the car he drove while he was with Bella).

𝟛. 2022 Volvo S90. Black. Current car.

𝟜. 1984 Jeep CJ7. Black. Kept with Rosalie and Emmett.

𝟝. 1968 Maserati Mexico 4200. White. Kept in a private warehouse in Chicago, IL.

𝔹𝕠𝕟𝕦𝕤. Custom Cessna 172. Black. Kept in a private warehouse in Chicago, IL.

[masocholyism]

♯♪    ||    pyshcic​.

          ❝ Oh dear.  ❞   With a meek presence,  she peers up and over the back of the couch,  eyes only just clearing the frame as they glance up towards Edward.  She wears an expression altogether doe-like and sickeningly sweet,  something darling and impossible to be cross with.    ❝ I’m no stranger to that tone … ❞  She sits up in full and balances her chin in her hands.   ❝ Let me see:    stern stoicism,  disapproving,  itching for an explanation  &  an apology,  which I’ll give you fair warning I refuse to give,   whatever it is   ––  oh!   You’ve found my Christmas gift for you. ❞    Features flit to a wide display of sincere excitement,  an eagerness which is paired with so swift a motion to rise that one might believe she was never sitting down to begin with.  Don’t be sour about it,  she thinks.  It’s depressing in here,  I’m only trying to help.  The thought is paired with a kind,  sisterly smile so as to soften the blow.  

         It is gauche,  and Jasper had warned her the response would be less than ideal  ––   but by all means it felt utterly,  inescapably necessary.  Who else would be responsible for decorating?  Edward?  Alice sincerely doubted his capability.  As always,  she’d have to take matters into her own hands.

         ❝ I did put quite a bit of thought into it.   It’s a replica of a Boulle design which was never realized;  even more precious than the mirrors King Louis himself owned.  Don’t try removing it,  I’ve already secured it to the wall,  and you’ll ruin the foundation if you rip it out. ❞  The smile she now sports seems altogether quite pleased with herself,  and a bit dastardly;   it was a grand,  gold floor-length mirror that was certainly much too large for everyday use.  Ornate in that beautiful old Baroque style,  it had lion heads on its corners,  surrounded by vines and leaves which dipped in and towards your own reflection as if you had found yourself lost in a golden jungle.   ❝ You’ll keep it.  ❞   Or else you’ll make me very sad.

without  one’s  sister,    surely  life  would  continue  on  most  drearily.    he  plays  the  part  of  the  recluse,    a  sort  of  martyr  for  sins  he  feels  far  too  great  to  require  company  these  days,    and  yet  as  much  as  he  finds  respite  in  solidarity,    lately  he  has  an  ache  that  feels  extraordinarily  human  nestling  itself  between  his  ribs.    he  blames  this  on  love.    and,    in  part,    he  blames  it  on  alice.    but  if  edward  resented  his  sister,    she  does  not  see  any  such  future  in  which  he  would  act  on  it.    any  tantrum  he  might  have  thrown,    she  has  already  perceived  and  rendered  null.    he  acts  now  only  as  a  shadow  when  he  does  not  give  lectures,    when  he  does  not  write  emails,    when  he  does  not  ignore  his  mother’s  calls.

alice  sees  his  attempt  at  tearing  down  the  fixture,    a  precedence  to  her  scolding.    and  when  she  refutes  his  temptation,    she  glimpses  the  shattering  of  the  glass  and  the  smugness  of  his  attitude  when  faced  with  her  horror.    yet  in  real  time  edward  does  not  move  from  his  spot  before  the  grand  mirror,    his  gaze  narrowed  and  pointed  where  the  frame  flourishes.    it  is  a  sight  which  begs  for  attention,    begs  for  use,    and  edward  must  admit  that  it  could  succeed  except  for  his  self  -  loathing.

❝    do  you  think  me  so  vain?    ❞  he  reaches  now  to  set  his  fingers  to  the  face  of  one  lion.    over  his  shoulder  comes  the  arch  of  one  brow,    amusement  swimming  in  those  hungry  eyes.    they  are  pitch.    he  is  grateful  suddenly  that  she  has  come;    she  would  be  the  best  to  stop  him  from  doing  something  stupid.    ❝    thank  you,    ❞  grits  her  brother,    pushing  away  from  the  beastly  reflection  he  has  not  once  beheld.    edward  gestures  at  the  books  which  blockade  the  door  to  the  attached  bathroom.    ❝    feng  shui.    don’t  you  agree?    ❞

[masocholyism]

♯♪    ||    the  city  does  not  conceal  the  same  as  a  coastline  town.    why  carlisle  had  indulged  esme  in  her  desire  for  a  momentary  city  montage,    edward  might  understand  in  small  part  (  for  i  have  love  in  me  which  i  failed  to  give  in  righteous  measure  and  i  would  try  again  if  permitted  the  chance  ).    still,    it  did  not  afford  them  the  quiet  solitude,    though  seattle  certainly  provided  the  cover  of  dreary  skies.    it  is  easier  in  a  metroplex  to  remember  oneself  as  a  monster;    the  population  of  mortality  is  far  too  great  to  draw  similarities  between  them  and  edward  would  not  deign  to  think  of  it  anyway.

he  is  purchasing  dahlias  for  esme  when  he  catches  it.    freesia.    strawberry.    alkaline  burning,    desire  strung  taught.    and  accompanying  the  plume  of  her  pheromones  is  the  heady  silence  of  her  thoughts,    some  kind  of  impermeable  force  protecting  @lambfaults​  from  his  unintentional  prying.    that  long  dead  heart  skips  several  beats,    staccato  and  then  a  falsetto  carry.    edward  looks  for  her  eyes.    finds  them  and  inhales  needlessly.    ❝    bella.    ❞

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ BONE - Yrsa Daley-Ward / page 1 - 64 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

‘you are one of those people, it is clear, who needs help.’

‘stop making me think of velvet and fragrant tobacco and that first sip of bourbon.’

‘the top half of my body is as gross political warfare with the lower.’

‘you are a beautiful danger.’

‘do not force me to open up.’

‘the lord knows you are beautiful and unfair.’

‘you know what you do. you are a slow fever.’

‘you are an accident in waiting. the type of accident with casualties spanning form me o you and here to there, a potential tragedy, a stunning unborn disaster.’

‘should i touch you, i will suffer and you will suffer and she will suffer.’

‘you are a danger zone. i must not enter. i should not enter. but i might.’

‘smiling at devils is a useful, learned thing.’

‘don’t cry. you’ll like it after a while.’

‘sometimes they tell you you want it and sometimes you think that you do.’

‘she was house-proud but not at all garden-proud, and the garden was an embarrassment.’

‘this fettered concept of motherhood is outdated.’

‘you can go and come back and go and come back and i shall always be here. i shall always be here. that is real love for you, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.’

‘sometimes exactly what you want not to happen happens anyway.’

‘loving someone who hates themselves is a special kind of violence.’

‘some of us love badly.’

‘some of us love others badly, love ourselves worse.’

‘i look prettier than i am, but there’s a talent to that.’

‘according to you, people like me shouldn’t go into places like this or be around people like these.’

‘the brightest of stars, frankly, are just a load of hot air and diamonds.’

‘they say women are gentler, treat each other better. please.’

‘i haven’t been home in nearly two weeks.’

‘we are falling into something we will soon mistake for love.’

‘the difference between attraction and compatibility is how it kicks you in the belly every now and then.’

‘love is mostly ill-advised but always brave.’

‘there are wars going on. the one in your body is the only one you can be sure of losing or winning.’

‘you drink more water than rum these days, don’t you?’

‘home is burning. you’re a lost thing.’

‘i was raised pulling food out of the earth. i know where joy comes from and how to make it.’

‘men will always want to play around.’

‘i keep getting the feeling that if you look at me for long enough you may see that i have a thousand fears.’

‘my thoughts about you are frightening but precise.’

‘you make me feel like myself again.’

‘you know that i would gladly drive you to the other side of the world with only the clothes i am wearing.’

‘every time you leave the room i worry.’

‘perhaps i have imagined you and maybe you have imagined me.’

‘i cannot pull my mind off you even though i do not trust your hands.’

‘he’s saying he doesn’t give a fuck.’

‘look, i still bear the marks.’

‘my father was a long dark fairy tale too.’

‘i am tired all the time lately, but am not sleeping.’

‘you told me i seemed haunted.’

‘you can’t quell depression by making love.’

‘stop trying to die. serve your time here. do your time.’

‘know that if you are hungry for something but you can’t think what you are, more often than not, only love-thirsty. only bored.’

‘i dreamed you beautiful. you are nothing beautiful.’

‘just because you do it doesn’t mean you always will.’

‘you’re far too used to life as a lone wolf.’

‘if you were married to yourself would you stay with yourself?’

‘i bet there are millions of stories in your legs alone.’

‘odd how often beauty is another type of prison.’

‘large thoughts are a problem when there’s no call for them.’

‘it doesn’t matter when you get chest pains, or sick, or forget how to speak, if your veins are driving you out to sea.’

‘yes, people want you. but only at first.’

‘your talents just about ruin your life.’

‘you are dazzling. yes, you’ll make money, but only too much and fast.’

‘i will love you forever but probably from afar.’

‘one day it will be better but it isn’t better now.’

‘she is just like my mother, but alive.’

‘you can leave them all you like but you can’t stay gone.’

[masocholyism]

sure fire way to earn a hard block from me immediately is if you make it clear you didn’t read my info and write me something referencing a sparkly edward