American Love Story — jay park x reader
summary: at a charity dinner in manhattan, y.n, a newly successful author, shuts down a sexist remark with sharp wit. and someone was watching — jay park, hotel heir and former singer, who finds himself captivated. when he finally approaches her, she challenges him with "so what? are you also afraid of feminists and don't consider them women?" and he answers: "afraid? i love women." and y.n is not one to be easily won. roses, dinners, and a trip to italy follow — but so does alexia, jay's childhood friend who knows him in ways y.n never will. between lake como's quiet luxury and old traditions that don't include her, y.n must decide: is she a guest in jay's life, or is she building a home there?
warnings: social elitism, mentions of sexism, mild language, alcohol mention, jealousy, emotional hurt/comfort, mild suggestive themes, family tension, class differences word count: 7.4k
Play list — American Love Story
english isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes. i mostly translate my works through apps :((( i'm a writer in my native language who wants to share my stories with the world.
the dim light of the chandeliers reflected a warm orange glow off the black lacquered floor, polished to a mirror shine. the gigantic floor-to-ceiling windows completed the picture: beyond them, manhattan dissolved into twilight, turning into a shimmering scattering of distant lights. the high ceilings with stucco moldings seemed to press down on one's shoulders with the snobbery of this place, and the marble columns drew invisible boundaries between «insiders» and «outsiders». every movement here was audible: the rustle of silk against a leather armchair sounded like someone's tender whisper, champagne hissed in the glasses.
"my biggest fear is running into a feminist." the man laughed, standing in a circle with y.n — who had recently gained fame thanks to her bestselling book — and a couple of investors. she knew how she had ended up in a situation like this. the publishing house had quite clearly hinted that y.n should attend charity creative dinners and had even provided her with a list of names worth exchanging a few words with in order to announce herself in high circles. but after the phrase, thrown so carelessly and with obvious mockery, the girl raised an eyebrow, as if the man had said something inappropriate, which didn't escape his notice.
"is something wrong, miss y.l.n?"
"it's truly funny that your greatest fear is a woman."
"no, i said something else."
"you don't consider feminists women?"
"i don't think you understood me correctly." the man tried to wave off y.n's counter-question. "what is your greatest fear, then?"
"walking down the street in the evening and accidentally becoming a victim of violence, dying in a car crash because seatbelts aren't designed for the female body, and a great many other things women have to face every day." y.n said this with a restrained smile on her face, not tearing her gaze away from her interlocutor's eyes for a second. the man smirked.
"since you're so well-versed, as a woman, enlighten us," he raised his hands, tracing a light circle in the air with his fingers around their conversation group, which consisted only of men. "what else do women have to face every day because of us, stupid men."
now he didn't hide the irony in his voice.
"i'm not a teacher to enlighten anyone about anything." y.n parried with a smile, knowing she wouldn't let herself be shamed. "thankfully, we live in the age of accessible information. if this topic interests you, you can read articles on the internet. it's wonderful that you want to learn more about what a cruel world your daughters will live in."
the girl slid her gaze to the man's hand, where a wedding ring was visible. the sharp hint truly stung him, but the man tried not to show it, though the muscles on his face still twitched. y.n no longer wanted to stay in such company; she found a familiar face in the crowd and excused herself from the men, leaving to say hello. the girl had no idea whose interested gaze followed her retreating figure. the stranger stood slightly apart from the main group of men discussing feminists. unlike them, he didn't throw out spiteful comments about women, sharp vulgar jokes, and certainly didn't try to overwhelm the girl with his patriarchal opinion. his suit fit impeccably. an understated fabric, the kind known only to those in the know. in his hand, a glass of water, not whiskey, because tomorrow morning he had to meet an important guest of his hotel for golf. a fresh head was required to show maximum respect. he didn't participate in this farce. he observed. when y.n parried another remark from that man, the corner of his lips twitched: not quite a smirk, not quite respect. she probably hadn't even noticed his presence among these people, which couldn't be said about him. he saw y.n clearly, as if the lights had been turned off and a bright spotlight beam aimed directly at her.
the crowd here was homogeneous to the point of boredom. men in identical black tuxedos with satin lapels: lawyers, fund owners, heirs. their position in the status hierarchy was betrayed only by the watches on their wrists and the degree of tiredness in their eyes. women — like statues from vogue, with perfect hairstyles and diamonds they wouldn't remove even in the bath. several aromas mixed in the air: the heavy sweetness of peonies in gigantic floor vases, the oily smell of truffle from the hors d'oeuvres whisked past, and the barely perceptible scent of expensive leather and whiskey. subdued jazz, a live orchestra played somewhere in the corner, and the clinking of crystal, which drowned in the hum of hundreds of conversations. everyone here could only hear the words of the person standing right opposite. the rest turned into the «white noise» of money. real money. it was time for y.n to start getting used to this, because the more popular her book became, the less invisible she was at such evenings. slipping away from acquaintances was simply impossible, so she had to talk about recent releases, timeless classics, and sometimes politics. but this charity evening was somehow special. it felt that way. y.n kept feeling someone's intent gaze on her, shivers ran down her bare back, and the girl cursed a hundred times the day she had chosen this particular dress. after talking with her agent, y.n, with a pleading smile, begged permission to leave the evening. the girl had spent enough time in public for the agent to nod in agreement: "alright, go, i'll handle the rest myself."
"you're the best, may." saying this, y.n kissed her on the cheek, immediately wiping the lipstick off with her fingers. the agent sent her a skeptical look, but still smiled.
"you did a good job with the connections and… i know."
after that, they said their goodbyes. y.n gripped her clutch bag tighter and headed for the exit of the hall. her heels clicked on the floor, but neither this sound nor the music around drowned out the lightly thrown:
"that man in the blue suit is still glancing your way…"
and for some reason, y.n knew exactly that it was addressed to her. only three or four meters remained to the exit, but she turned around. a tall, stately man in a black suit approached her. the smile on his face seemed created to make girls' hearts skip beats, if not stop altogether. his gaze was devoid of arrogance, holding only interest.
"it seems you really struck a nerve with him."
"he started those inappropriate conversations about feminists himself." y.n shrugged, turning to face the man. who was he? she hadn't seen him before, but the girl could say for sure — this stranger was not the least important person in the room. y.n felt it from his commanding aura.
"and you asked if he was afraid of them…"
the man had either overheard the conversation or had been present for it, though the girl couldn't say for sure about the latter. the dialogue had been emotionally difficult and completely unpleasant; it was no surprise that y.n might have missed the moment when he approached them.
"so what? are you also afraid of feminists and don't consider them women?"
for a second he raised his eyebrows, and a chuckle escaped his lips, leaving a satisfied smirk on his face. the feeling with which the man said the last phrase lodged itself firmly in y.n's mind. oh, yes, such a handsome man had to love women, otherwise it would simply be unfair. he clearly didn't intend to end the dialogue; y.n understood that from how easily he took two glasses of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter. he handed one of them to the girl.
"and you… do you relate to feminists?"
"i just know how hard it is to be a woman sometimes." she ran her hand from her shoulders to her stomach with a hint at her physiological belonging. "i feel it on my own skin, so to speak."
a simultaneous chuckle escaped their lips.
"jay park." he nodded, introducing himself.
and the guy extended his hand for a handshake only after y.n did it first.
"and what does this proud woman do?" he inquired, not taking his eyes off y.n, which was very flattering. jay clearly enjoyed the girl's company since he kept finding topics for dialogue.
"i was a singer in my youth, now i've taken over my father's hotel business."
the man's words surprised y.n, which reflected on her face and didn't escape him.
"not the most popular one," jay clicked his tongue, not changing his friendly tone. he seemed to be trying to make the girl smile with every word, and he was succeeding wonderfully. "i'm much better at running a business than singing."
"tell me the name of any of your hits; i often put the radio on as background."
y.n raised her eyes to the ceiling, which she always did when deep in thought. the man looked at her expectantly, fully confident that she wouldn't be able to guess.
"baby, baby, there will always be a space for you and me, right…" the girl melodiously drew out, squinting one eye because she forgot what words came next.
"…where you left it." jay finished for her. the atmosphere between them shifted, or perhaps only park felt it that way, because with that song, y.n had hit right on the mark. even if it wasn't his performance.
"i love it." the man noted. "for me, it's daniel caesar's best album."
"i didn't guess it, sorry."
but in any case, the man felt the ringing of fate's bells when the girl mentioned that song, because on the way here, jay had accidentally turned on that song in the car. by an incredible coincidence.
"and… i have to go." y.n continued. "it was a pleasure to meet you."
she looked up at him one last time, blinked her long lashes, and was about to turn on her heels when jay stopped her.
"will you tell me your instagram name?"
he took his phone out of the inner pocket of his jacket.
"oh, i don't exchange social media; you can find them in public access. goodbye."
y.n knew that one more second and she wouldn't be able to leave so easily. nevertheless, she completed her turn and swiftly walked towards the exit, testing fate. she never gave herself to men so easily, preferring to immediately weed out those whose hands dropped after one refusal. besides, during their conversation, y.n had noticed several interested female gazes directed at the man that slid slickly over her. park gripped the phone in his hand, for the second time that evening following the line of her bare back with his gaze. he turned around, as if debating whether to give up or not, but quickly made a decision and ran after y.n. she couldn't hold back a smile when she heard the sound of his shoes behind her.
"y.n!" jay shouts desperately, continuing to pursue the girl. she doesn't turn around, approaching the carved staircase and beginning her descent. her heels slow her down slightly, so jay catches up to y.n and overtakes her, blocking her path with himself. park was used to many things coming easily to him, that no matter if he asked for instagram or passport details, as terrifying as that might sound, a girl wouldn't refuse him. it hadn't worked that way with y.n, and he shouldn't have tested whether she was «like all the other girls».
"but your number isn't on the internet."
he stopped opposite her a couple of steps lower. in the brighter lighting of the corridor, y.n could more clearly make out the hopeful look in his brown eyes.
"i think that's for the best." the girl smiled friendly, carefully stepping around the man. then he caught a light, almost elusive trail of black tea, tobacco, and something woody. this scent was completely unlike the sweet and intoxicating one the women in that hall doused themselves with. this scent didn't crave his attention, it gave off coldness and simply was. like her calm voice and direct gaze. jay involuntarily inhaled deeper.
"may i walk with you?" park asked, turning around. y.n quickly raised her head to look at him, smiled nonchalantly, but didn't stop for a second.
she gave him absolutely nothing of what he wanted. y.n didn't utter another word. the doorman in an impeccable livery hurried to open the large oak door before her. for a second, the familiar noise of manhattan was heard, it fell silent when the door closed, and jay, frustrated, hit the railing with his fist. he had let her slip away. and it wasn't clear exactly what about y.n had hooked him; there seemed to be too many things, but one thing was clear — the evening was ruined. park not only failed to leave a flawless first impression of himself, but he also hadn't gotten her number. such a thing happened to the man extremely rarely, or more precisely, never.
the next day was nothing like the previous one. no glamour. the publishing house «Holloway & Co» was located in an old building in brooklyn, where it smelled of paper, caffeine, and a little bit of desperation. high ceilings, brick walls, and loft-style offices, and a spirit of creativity filled everything around. only the worn parquet, creaking under the weight of stacks of manuscripts, could give this place even a drop of coziness. as did the mugs with «world's okayest editor» on the desks of almost every editor, who, hunched over like shrimp, were rapidly typing something on their computer keyboards.
y.n's office was small, cluttered with all kinds of junk. books containing various topics from human anatomy to criminal law lay everywhere: on the windowsill, under the desk, on the guest chair (which no one could use for its intended purpose). all of this was necessary. necessary. y.n was a writer, after all; she had to draw information from somewhere. on the wall — a magazine cutout photograph of joan didion, gazing somewhere into the distance with a cigarette. under it, y.n had written with a marker: «keep your back straight». the girl sat at her laptop, chewing on the tip of her pen, when her thoughts returned to him.
more precisely — to jay park. because yesterday, when y.n returned home, kicked off her heels, and exhaled with relief, she did something she hadn't planned on doing. she opened her browser.
the first links were boring: business interviews, photos from hotel openings, standard male portraits in gray suits against the backdrop of marble halls. but then she found something else. an old video, a recording from some festival. he stood on stage: much younger, as if just after high school graduation, with a guitar, without that restrained smile, but with the one that only young, eager boys smile with. from the even more interesting: a couple of intriguing relationship scandals from those years of his — the type of women was visible on the surface, and information about his wealth, though y.n didn't like counting other people's money.
y.n closed the tab faster than she could consider how strange it looked from the outside.
«what are you even doing?» she thought, leaning back in her chair. «you need to finish the manuscript. get it together, y.n.»
but in her memories, it was still clearly visible how he hadn't extended his hand first. how he had waited for her reciprocal greeting. how he had then run after her.
«you hooked him too,» whispered the voice of reason, trying to bring the girl to her senses. everything was obvious, y.n understood that, but she had consciously retreated anyway. he was a big shot, she was a writer, their worlds were too different, though they stood so close: money and art. jay probably wasn't thinking about her as much as she was replaying yesterday's meeting in her head. she refused? well, her loss. who refuses such a person? — park probably thought and continued his routine, switching to business, meetings, negotiations.
y.n reached for her mug of cold coffee, took a sip, and grimaced.
"i should have given him my number," she said to the empty room. "at least i would've had some fun."
y.n hadn't expected anything more. she wasn't interested in anything serious, as she was too focused on her work. the girl spent long hours writing text, proofreading the important and the secondary, days went by sitting in one position at the computer. what was wrong with wanting a little variety? even if jay park promised no happy ending. but her gaze darted again to the document open before her. her next bestseller, as may called it — that was what had stopped y.n yesterday. the girl needed to keep focus, needed to search for new ideas and meanings — it was precisely this understanding that cooled her boiling blood. and so inconveniently, a courier entered the office with a knock, holding fifty red roses in his hands.
"who are they from?" y.n arched an eyebrow, guessing the answer.
"mr. park, miss. where can i leave them?"
the girl gathered all her strength not to smile, even bit her lip. a second, and she answered:
"i won't accept them. you can send them back."
of course, the courier wasn't at fault for anything; he was only doing his job, certainly not wishing to be a participant in the game of these two, but in any case, he was unlucky. after trying to convince the girl that he was simply obligated to follow regulations, the man eventually carried the bouquet away, making everyone in the office turn their heads after him in surprise.
"who did you get so 'friendly' with yesterday?" asked may, bursting into the girl's office as soon as she saw the departing courier.
"i don't even know…" y.n lied, deciding not to explain how she had googled jay's name at night, finding out he wasn't just a former failed singer, but the sole heir to a chain of luxury seven-star hotels — st. regis. did the girl regret not giving him her number when she woke up in the morning? now, of course, she did! did she regret not abandoning her principles? of course not, especially after receiving flowers from the aforementioned man. y.n had won. interesting, what would happen next?
the bouquets began arriving with fairly frequent regularity and with different notes.
day 2 (after the first unsuccessful bouquet)
«i didn't know what flowers you like. i chose the ones that reminded me of you and that evening. it's a pity my taste didn't impress you»
«i'm not trying to buy you. the flowers are an apology. for blocking your path on the stairs»
day 4 (though y.n hoped he would give up)
«i'm starting to get used to the silence, but i still think about you constantly»
«you talked about how hard it is to be a woman. i can't change that. but i can make sure every morning of yours starts with flowers»
the girls from the crime novels department began making jokes for y.n to be careful, as it seemed jay had no intention of giving up. though everyone, in any case, understood: flowers were a beautiful gesture from a beautiful man. of course, the secretaries had long ago stopped one courier, coaxing out of him who the bouquet was from, and then blabbed to the rest. y.n walked down the publishing house corridor with a satisfied smile; it was almost time for the next bouquet to arrive. her hair was gathered in a neat french twist, she wore a simple white shirt and pencil skirt, and how elegantly she moved.
y.n almost walked past, but upon hearing the male voice, she stopped. a familiar male voice, to be precise. by the elevator stood him — jay park. in a beige suit and still with the unchanging red roses in his hands.
"apparently the other couriers didn't appeal to you very much, since every single one was sent back." a smile flickered on the man's lips. "but if i try personally, maybe luck will smile on me?"
y.n raised an eyebrow, appreciating jay's gesture, and then the corners of her lips stretched into a smile.
"oh, yes." he exhaled with relief. "just what i needed."
looking at the bouquet, which had finally taken its place on the table opposite her desk, the girl wondered if the man had orchestrated all this. it turned out that jay had been invited for an interview by another author. he was preparing a book about the luxury hotel business. and while it was obvious why they had chosen park, it was completely unclear why they hadn't met in a place convenient for jay, since usually authors travel to the respondent, not the other way around. could the owner of a hotel chain really have so much free time to spend an hour and a half on the road one way, an interview, and then…
two knocks sounded on the glass door. y.n tore her gaze from the computer screen and almost gasped. there, leaning against the doorframe, stood jay, with one hand tucked into his trouser pocket. when the girl paid attention to him, the man waved in greeting and smiled tiredly. two hours had passed since the interview began.
"already finished?" asked y.n, casting a glance at the guest chair piled with manuscripts. it was a pity she had never cleared out that clutter; she couldn't even invite him to sit beside her.
"break. i don't know anyone here except you. as a local, could you suggest where to get a good dinner?"
"cecconi's, a block away."
it was a decent place, not a dive, so it wasn't embarrassing to suggest to a man like him, but also not expensive enough that y.n wouldn't set even the toe of her foot there. the girl had been there, so she could vouch for it. this italian restaurant with panoramic windows overlooked manhattan and the brooklyn bridge.
"leaving the building, left or right?" park clarified.
y.n raised her eyes to the ceiling, thinking. not that she understood what the question even was. leave the publishing house, go right, and walk — a block away there was a restaurant; what was unclear? but before the girl began to explain again, jay laughed softly.
"i'm joking, i understood where to go. i was just hoping you'd offer to walk me there, since i'm not often in this neighborhood."
y.n and jay's gazes crossed. eyes to eyes, straight at each other. an electric charge ran down the girl's spine. to hell with it all! she accepted the challenge. after all, she was terribly bored with life.
"ask me to walk you there, and i'll agree."
"please, y.n." he emphasized the first word. "keep me company this evening."
the girl had already refused him many times, but since jay asked so nicely: she would give the man what he so craved — a morsel of her attention. when they walked down the corridor together, everyone very diligently pretended not to notice them. it was for the best; if y.n saw now how some of her least favorite colleagues were whispering — she would have felt awkward. the whole publishing house was already buzzing about those bouquets. the girl suggested walking when jay reached for the road to hail a taxi, which made her smirk. everyone uses apps now to call a driver; who still stops cars like that? very old-fashioned, but cute. and by the way. park turned out to be a good actor. as soon as they crossed the threshold of the establishment, the head manager immediately flew up to jay. addressing him with respect in his voice, he chirped: "mr. park… mr. park," — providing them with the best spot in the restaurant: a balcony overlooking the bridge. doesn't often visit this neighborhood, right, sure — thought y.n, but she said nothing to jay. the man pulled out a chair for her and sat down opposite. the fresh evening breeze blew on their faces, the sun set behind the horizon in a beautiful multicolored sunset. the whole setting looked as if they were on a date. the waiter gracefully extended menus to them, took their order, poured wine into glasses, but jay asked for water.
"extremely rarely." park answered, unfolding a napkin on his lap.
"do you behave strangely when drunk?" the girl giggled.
"i get a terrible hangover." he paused and then gave in, breaking into a smile. "well, that too."
however, even the violin playing didn't disrupt the dialogue. they talked, forgetting about time. topics replaced one another; it seemed that talking to jay was as easy as simply breathing. whether it was because of how well he knew how to handle the public or because of how similar they were, the fact remained: neither of them wanted to leave each other's company. there was a spark between them. a real one. when it grew dark, jay fell silent for some reason. maybe it happened because of the inspiration with which y.n spoke about her book. she restrainedly answered the questions asked of her, not getting too carried away so as not to bore jay. the girl understood — everyone had different tastes; perhaps the man had asked about her work only out of respect. park rarely blinked. the candle flame gently illuminated his sharp features. jay looked with admiration, lingering with special attention on her hair, which she had let down from her updo before entering the restaurant, relaxing her office look.
"did i bore you? why are you looking like that?" she asked softly, feeling confident, as jay wasn't looking at her with boredom or detachment. deep down, y.n understood that he was simply captivated, but she wanted to hear it from him personally.
"no," jay didn't hold the intrigue. y.n genuinely interested him, and it had happened so rapidly that the man himself didn't understand how it could have occurred. could this be that very «ding» he had been waiting for for thirty years.
"i can't imagine how i let you slip away that evening."
his voice was quiet but saturated with unchangeable strength. men rarely have such memorable voices; even more rarely do they attract y.n. but with jay, everything was somehow different.
"fortunately, i'm a favorite of fate, since i'm sitting here, listening to you. i enjoy your company."
straightforward and honest. y.n loved that. she smiled; probably no other emotion could appear when park was nearby. over the last hour, the corners of her lips had twitched happily not once or twice, but many, many more times.
y.n reached for a paper napkin and her bag, pulling out a thin black pen with gold engraving from a small pocket. jay watched the graceful movements of her hand; a couple of seconds later, he was holding her number written on the napkin.
"i'm giving it to you just in case," y.n cast a playful glance directly at him. "in case you get lost in this neighborhood; you are 'not a local' after all."
jay froze on the napkin, memorizing the number. there wouldn't be a second chance; he had spent all his luck. so if something incredible happened, park had to remember this combination of digits. he hid the napkin in the inner pocket of his jacket, right near his heart.
"you have an excellent sense of humor."
"i'm a writer." y.n shrugged. "when you think through dialogues for different characters, you have to be original."
"right now, you can put down your pen. let fate and chance write our story."
y.n's breath caught at the poetic nature of what was said. exactly. jay was also a writer of sorts; the girl had convinced herself of this after reading the lyrics of his songs. and that very one — «always».
to say to you 'til the end of time
"we'll see what it writes. but the prologue has intrigued me." y.n threw out confidently. it seemed she would no longer have time to be bored. not with jay.
three days after the dinner, on one sunny morning, when birds chirped outside and the roads were already filled with huge traffic jams, y.n walked into her favorite coffee shop on berry street. the girl wasn't an avid coffee drinker and didn't drink coffee every day, but today she was drawn to a cup of energy. holding one hand in her jeans pocket, with the other she opened the white wooden door. the smell of coffee immediately hit her nose. the sound of the coffee grinder filled everything around, and a line had already gathered at the register. busy checking emails on her phone, y.n stood behind a blonde girl, slowly moving forward. she knew she would order a cold latte with hazelnut syrup. the terrible heat outside was about to begin, and walking from the subway to work, y.n had already felt the burning sun rays on her skin. when her turn was just about to come, the girl lifted her sunglasses onto her head, ready to appear face-to-face with the cashier, but suddenly noticed a familiar silhouette. jay was sitting at a table to the left of the register. he wore a cap, a loose t-shirt, and athletic shorts. the man sat casually on the chair, staring unceasingly out the panoramic window before him at brooklyn, which had long since woken up. the girl lowered her gaze to his running sneakers, of course understanding what jay had been doing, but… why here?
she didn't run to him right away; she calmly placed her order. the skilled hands of the second barista quickly made the latte; with a soft smile, y.n thanked him and, with the same mood, approached jay from behind.
"good morning." she whispered, leaning right to his ear. flinching, the man turned to the laughing y.n, and jay's recently surprised face also softened into a smile.
the girl sat down beside him without waiting for an invitation.
"morning espresso?" she nodded at the small cup beside the man, and he nodded in agreement.
"you were staring so intently out the window," she turned for a second. "what's so interesting there?"
the girl thought park would say he was simply lost in thought, but instead, the man delivered:
such honesty momentarily disconcerted y.n, but she only chuckled nervously.
"i was running around here, decided to wait for you and wish you a good day before work. but since we've already met…" he checked the time on his wristwatch. "let me walk you; it seems office hours are just about to start."
they walked along the road opposite the publishing house, where the shade fell from the sprawling trees that lined it. y.n sipped coffee from a straw, trying to suppress a smile. a pleasant feeling in her chest — the very one that is born there when you're just starting to grow close to a man. the girl accepted jay's signs of attention as fuel before a hard working day. there should be at least something pleasant and romantic in life, right?
"you live nearby, since you chose to run here?"
"relatively." park shrugged, not giving himself away immediately. their shoulders sometimes touched from how close they walked, or maybe from how strongly they were drawn to each other on a physical level.
"you're dodging the question."
"maybe we can drop the formalities, call me just jay. how is it sound to you?"
"mr. park." y.n said in a playfully serious voice. she turned to him and lifted her glasses to look the man straight in the eyes.
"my apartment is in tribeca."
"you've been running all this time?!"
jay couldn't help but be pleased by the girl's genuine surprise, so naive, almost childlike. it drew a light, almost refreshing laugh from him; y.n's breath caught for a second.
"no, i'm joking with you, but you won't let me keep at least some mystery about myself…"
"sorry, i just don't know you very well yet, so the questions keep clinging."
"i took a taxi and rode here."
for you — park wanted to add, but didn't, thinking y.n already understood that perfectly well.
when they reached the office, engaged in an animated conversation about coffee brewing methods and how jay had flown to colombia to sign a contract with famous coffee suppliers for his hotels, they walked together right to the elevator. the man so didn't want to end the dialogue, but y.n kept glancing at her phone screen, watching the time. the elevator doors opened, and y.n stepped inside. jay smiled; the girl had long noticed that it was his signature smirk, when the corner of his lips lifted only on one side, and his eyes looked confidently directly at her, even flirtatiously.
"so, let’s drop the formalities?" he asked again.
“have a nice day, jay." for the first time, she called him by name. and then the elevator doors closed, allowing her heart to beat frantically in her chest. god, what was that?
their first date took place on the brooklyn waterfront. the wind blew from the water, tousling the curled locks of y.n's hair. her hairstyle was held by a polka-dot scarf tied at the crown of her head; on her eyes were the same unchanging narrow-lensed sunglasses, as the sun, sinking beyond the horizon, shone brightly right into their faces. the girl folded her arms over her chest, clutching the sleeves of jay's jacket in her palms. it had grown cool, so he had draped it over her shoulders.
"…and my childhood was spent in seoul."
park continued the conversation, walking shoulder to shoulder beside y.n.
"really?" she responded, turning to jay; he was also in glasses, but in square frames. his honey skin was illuminated by the rays of the setting sun. a true golden hour.
"when i was five, dad was opening a hotel there. he didn't want mom to stay here alone with me, so we lived in korea for a while until things at the hotel settled down."
"and did you often travel like that 'on your father's business'?" y.n laughed.
"yes, quite a bit." jay smiled. the air smelled of water, such a pleasant, refreshing scent. soon they turned into a park, walking under the branches of trees.
"and your childhood, what did it look like?"
"my parents' house in queens. kindergarten, school, all the most ordinary things. christmas at grandma's apartment surrounded by cousins and aunts. not quite your aesthetic, right?"
y.n tried to turn everything into a joke. jay's and y.n's childhoods couldn't be compared. the first time she went abroad was for a young writers' competition when she was in university. of course, now the gap between them didn't feel as vast, but only a fool would say that y.n and jay were on the same level. nevertheless, park disagreed with her, didn't try to belittle her with his own well-off childhood.
"not true, i have five cousins, so i'm familiar with such noisy christmas nights."
"my mom works as a nurse; i probably got my willpower from her, otherwise i wouldn't have written a book. dad was more restless. he loved different things and never finished anything to the end."
jay didn't miss the change in y.n's tone when she spoke about her father.
"he was an employee at the metropolitan museum, so in childhood, i spent most of my time there, sitting by the exhibits."
"i often went there with frank for open lessons. interesting, could we have crossed paths at that age?"
"that would have been romantic." the girl laughed. "and frank is…?"
"of course you had a private tutor." she laughed even more at how radically different their childhoods had been.
"you spoke about your father in the past tense. did something happen to him?" jay asked this with delicate caution. the path they had come out onto was empty; the couple walked as if the entire park was at their disposal. the atmosphere was very conducive to a heartfelt conversation.
"he died when i graduated from high school. an accident."
y.n looked away, staring into the distance. there, between the trees, a playground was visible.
"by the way, dad and i used to come here. i got hit in the head by a swing when i was seven."
without unnecessary thought, y.n lifted the hair from her forehead, showing a barely noticeable white scar. park leaned in and looked closely, but his gaze quickly slid to y.n's eyes. they were standing quite close. a second. his gaze dropped to her lips. her breath caught in that same moment. but jay didn't do anything. he pointed to the bridge of his nose, saying only:
"and i dove poorly into a pool."
y.n also looked closely, noticing a small uneven line on the skin.
"at least in this we're alike: our childhoods were interesting."
for the second date, jay invited y.n to his place, promising to cook ribeye steak. a masculine classic that park's hotel chef had taught him. with the steak, he made truffle mashed potatoes and sun-dried tomatoes. as soon as the man called y.n to invite her to dinner, her mouth immediately watered. well, who describes everything so deliciously when the other person is at work? it was simply unfair! but this was precisely what made y.n look forward to the date even more. jay's loft apartments were much cozier than the girl had imagined. dark wood furniture, a metal table in the middle of the kitchen, lots of concrete and yellow floor lamps created the right atmosphere. jay stood in trousers, a dark blue polo shirt, and an apron. he was focused on cooking but still actively responded to y.n's conversations. the pleasant aroma of meat and rosemary filled the air; the heat from the stove reached the girl's skin in pleasant waves. in the background, a record played on the turntable — sade's like a tattoo.
"does visiting rushmore more than five times count as love for mountains?" she joked, making jay smile too.
"definitely. then we absolutely must go to my family's chateau. you may have looked at the presidents' faces from the ground, but mountains from the air look simply unforgettable."
"you have a pilot's license? with every new fact, it gets more and more interesting."
"i do." the man nodded. he began placing the meat on plates, plating their dinner. "how does the prospect of a weekend together sound to you?"
jay cast a glance in y.n's direction, awaiting her answer. yes, maybe they weren't close enough yet, but there was so much fire between them that not wanting to be together was simply impossible.
"we'll see how you behave."
jay raised an eyebrow. the girl's answer, as usual, hit below the belt, made him nervous, but park liked the way she shook his calm.
"you've already tamed me." he played along. "i won't be able to bite anymore."
and y.n liked how easy it was with jay. very easy. she almost forgot that the man was the owner of a chain of expensive hotels, that their dates mostly took place in the evening precisely because of how much he worked. but park had one distinctive feature — he could quickly «switch off» from work, although his phone sometimes literally exploded with calls, even when they were together. silence hung for a second.
it was at that exact moment that y.n turned around, hearing some sounds coming from the front door. someone seemed to be tugging at the handle and scraping in the keyhole.
"there's something…" the girl spoke up, pointing her thumb behind her. jay got distracted with interest. he clearly wasn't expecting anyone, so, throwing a kitchen towel over his shoulder, he went to see what it was. the first thing y.n thought was — burglars checking apartments, maybe someone left a door open, although how could they have infiltrated a secured territory? outsiders wouldn't be let into the building; even y.n's name had to be recorded at the concierge so she could enter jay's place without issues.
«reporters often try to break into the building. by the way, did you know my neighbor is harry styles? he's nice, but plays music too loudly in the mornings» — park had once mentioned casually.
y.n watched as jay's figure went from the kitchen to the door; there was no hallway, but the threshold was concealed by walls separating the entry area, so she couldn't see the door. it seemed park looked through the peephole and peeked out from behind the wall to reassure the girl.
"everything's fine, give me a minute."
then he went, quickly opened the door, and just as quickly closed it. y.n didn't even manage to hear if he started speaking with someone. exactly three minutes she sat alone in silence, looking around, but ultimately returned her gaze to the door. jay came back with a smile on his face, as if nothing strange had happened.
"it was a friend, had to tell him we couldn't spend time together; i'm extremely busy. well, then," park clapped his hands, continuing the plating. "let's move on to dinner."
"i hope he wasn't too upset."
"don't worry about it. my friend will survive."
back then, it didn't seem strange to y.n. her sister had a key to her apartment and also sometimes came without an invitation (especially when she had fought with her boyfriend again).
what happened didn't seem strange to the girl, although it should have…
to mark the beginning of their relationship, jay invited her to that very chateau, the location of which turned out to be in italy on the shores of lake como. and as if y.n herself could have guessed where else it could be? the man's parents were hosting a party for mrs. park's anniversary. at first, y.n refused. she couldn't allow herself to be a third wheel at a family celebration, but jay insisted.
"mom brought up the topic herself. my parents want to meet the one who's made my head spin so much." the man kissed y.n on the temple, putting his arm around her shoulders. "you'll be welcome."
the girl understood that meeting his relatives and close ones was inevitable. park had grown attached to y.n very quickly; a little more and one could say she was becoming a part of him — that very true «other half». the girl felt this warmth, understood they were moving to a new stage. but no matter how much she pulled herself away from thoughts that in this world there now existed only her and him, she had to return to reality: family approval for a man like jay was not just an empty phrase.
jay's mother's anniversary was celebrated at the family chateau. y.n knew it wouldn't just be a pool party, so she had been preparing mentally for three days, but still wasn't ready. nervousness kept creeping up on her as a tremor in her fingers. the chateau itself stood on a rocky shore, entwined with ivy, with terraces descending to the water. the mountains jay had spoken of, beyond the lake, were blue from the evening haze; the air smelled of citrus and the dampness of stone. when their car pulled up to the gates, y.n saw alexia — jay's childhood friend, for the first time.
alexia hon stood on the top step of the stone staircase. she wore an ivory linen dress — expensive, but as if she had thrown it on five minutes before the guests' arrival and forgotten about it. her dark hair was gathered in a low bun; pearl earrings were her only adornment. she wasn't looking at the arriving car. the girl was buried in her phone, and only when jay got out of the car did she lift her eyes.
"you're late," she said without a hint of reproach, descending to meet him. "mom's already asked twice where you've been."
"the flight was delayed because of fog."
jay smiled widely — the way, probably, y.n had never seen him smile before. but now his smile froze right before her eyes as the man helped her out of the car, offering his hand.
alexia fluttered down from the last step lightly, like a feather, and kissed jay on the cheek. habitually. quickly. and only then shifted her gaze to y.n, who stood beside park.
alexia smiled, and it was a flawless smile — warm enough not to be false, and restrained enough to maintain distance. she was the first to extend her hand. her palm was soft, skin moisturized, as if she had recently used lotion, and her finger was without a ring.
"jay has told me about you."
"nothing bad, i hope," y.n answered with a fairly overused phrase, shaking her hand.
"nothing," said alexia, and in her eyes flickered something y.n couldn't read. "he rarely goes into any details. i had to read your book to understand who i'm dealing with."
a pause. y.n wasn't sure if it was a compliment.
"and what was your impression?" she asked, deciding not to retreat. at that moment, jay put his arm around her waist.
"of the book?" alexia took a step back, letting them through to the house. "it's well written. but the heroine… she's too perfect, don't you think? no one speaks such proper phrases in real life."
jay hummed but said nothing. y.n felt something prickly stir inside. not jealousy. more like a realization: this woman would speak to her in the language of subtle hints, and if she didn't start skillfully defending herself, protecting her boundaries — she would lose.
"maybe," y.n smiled, entering the cool hall of the house with its high ceilings. "but sometimes you want to read about people who are better than us, to escape from reality."
alexia nodded in agreement, and her smile grew slightly wider. she understood that y.n had accepted her challenge.
"then you'll like it here. this house is a place where you can truly escape from reality. welcome to the family."
she turned and walked forward without looking back. it was clear that alexia had long been one of their own in this house; she wasn't just jay's friend, not just the daughter of a family friend. she was — family. her heels clicked on the marble floor, and y.n suddenly realized she had just been on a first date with jay's past. and the past, it seemed, was winning the first round. y.n was already anticipating two intense weeks in italy.
jay's mother — mrs. park — received her with much greater warmth. she came out to meet them from the living room, where alexia had gone. of course, the first kiss went to her son; the second, an air kiss, almost weightless, fell on y.n's cheek.
"i'm so happy you've arrived." she swept the girl with a warm look of sparkling eyes. "you look stunning, y.n. how do you feel about tanning?"
"positively," the girl answered uncertainly, smiling, casting a glance at jay. he only nodded, as if to say — relax, everything is wonderful.
"wonderful, then you'll join me on the loungers sometime."
the woman immediately began making plans. she took the girl and her son by the elbows, standing between them, and began leading them into the living room. there, y.n once again encountered alexia, who, with her bare feet propped up on the couch, smiled waiting for them to enter, and with jay's father — mr. park senior. he stood by the window with a glass of whiskey, looking into the distance.
"darling…" his wife caught his attention. he turned at her voice and smiled tightly.
when they reached the man, y.n was the first to extend her hand to him.
"pleased to meet you, mr. park. my name is y.n y.l.n."
he firmly shook her hand.
"believe me, i know what your name is."
somewhere deep in her soul, such an answer frightened the girl, but she continued to keep her face so as not to lose face. even if it seemed that her boyfriend's father had disliked her from the very beginning.
"i prefer to introduce myself."
it was even too bold to fire off such a cheeky answer, but instead of indignation, the man only nodded approvingly, closing his eyes. y.n would take that as the answer being to mr. park's liking. he briefly hugged jay, and after a routine question about his son's health, he moved on to hotel business. meanwhile, mrs. park led y.n away from those, quote: «boring business talks». she gave the girl a tour, but even with it, y.n would hardly quickly get used to the dimensions of the house. the chateau was simply enormous inside, and the grounds, which included: a pool area, a garden, a tennis court, and a pier with its own access to the lake — weren't so easy to walk around entirely.
"and this is your room." the woman pushed the door open with a smile, letting y.n in first. "jay's room is directly opposite; no one else in this wing."
she laughed softly, making the girl's cheeks flush slightly pink.
"the bathroom is to the left, the closet — the next door." mrs. park did come inside after all, pointing out directions with elegant movements of her hand. "and the next door…"
but y.n had already opened it herself to peek inside. a small, bright study with a dark wood desk in the middle. on it, a carafe of water with bright yellow lemons floating in it, a notebook, and pens. the window was wide open, and the wind lifted the light, pale blue curtain.
"in case inspiration strikes, you can hide here and work."
"i'm very touched, mrs. park."
y.n turned and met the woman's gaze.
"no need. you're among strangers and in a new place; i want you to be comfortable."
now y.n understood who had raised so much love and tenderness in jay, which sometimes couldn't fit in his chest.
nothing out of the ordinary happened, but y.n understood that she had entered «foreign» territory. alexia didn't participate in animated conversations with the girl, preferring to speak to her politely, but to the point. she seemed to understand that y.n was a temporary decoration, while she was the unshakable foundation of jay's life and an inseparable part of it. nevertheless, hon didn't treat her maliciously; the girl treated y.n… indifferently. when park, engrossed in conversation with his mom, wasn't looking, alexia looked at him. not amorously, but expectantly. when the man finished speaking, she laughed in unison with everyone at what he said — it was customary for everyone. y.n smiled tensely; she tried to delve into the conversation, but it all came down to memories from a life she hadn't lived with jay.
"…that's because when we were sixteen, we stole this boat from my father and scratched it on the neighbor's yacht." alexia laughed, passing a bowl of salad to jay. he rolled his eyes, smiling.
"and who was at the wheel, huh?" the man parried, clearly hinting not at himself. "i covered for you, as the older one, but you didn't show due respect."
"chongsong, don't remind me…"
"chongsong?" and that, it seemed, was the only time y.n, upon saying something, wasn't respectfully ignored.
"my korean name." jay responded softly, reaching for y.n's hand under the table. he took her hand and squeezed it encouragingly in his own. there was so much tenderness in this touch, more than could fit in one's chest.
"this scoundrel didn't tell you?" alexia was surprised. "what manners."
"there wasn't an opportunity."
jay and y.n exchanged glances, and he told her straight to her eyes:
"besides, i'm more used to being called jay."
the girl broke into a smile. in that phrase, she felt comfort. yes, maybe she hadn't known, but it meant nothing. jay hadn't deliberately hidden it from her.
"just don't say that to grandma, please." mrs. park joked.
when dinner was over and the sun had set beyond the horizon, jay and y.n walked hand in hand to their rooms through the luxurious corridors of the chateau. the heat of the day was not at all burdensome within the cold walls of the house. inside, it was fresh and pleasant.
"do you think your father didn't like me?" the girl asked.
"he's just not very talkative with people he barely knows. dad will get used to it soon. and if he hadn't liked you, you'd have understood that immediately."
"and how close are you and alexia?"
y.n didn't want to sound strange and certainly didn't want the question to come out of nowhere, but she needed to ask.
"she's a very close friend; i've known her for as long as i can remember." jay spoke very easily, as if it were self-evident and simultaneously insignificant. not the way y.n thought.
"we've always been together."
the girl would be lying if she said she didn't feel a sting near her heart. alexia had been in jay's life long before y.n; she saw and knew things the girl would never touch. but y.n shouldn't feel bad because of it. park had also missed a lot in her life, but… it was different. the girl in no way wanted to disrupt the relationship between jay and alexia that they'd built over the years, but y.n couldn't help thinking she felt like a third wheel and…
"y.n, is everything okay?" jay asked carefully, noticing how deeply the girl was thinking. they had stopped right in the middle of the corridor near the doors to their rooms. a lamp glowed dimly above a marble table with a large vase of peonies, illuminating the couple's faces. the man stood opposite, smiling tenderly at y.n in hopes of getting a smile in return.
"you know, jay, you have an astonishing ability to stun with questions."
but she couldn't wave off the question; jay looked at her, expecting an answer. y.n sighed.
"i'm not jealous. i just felt like a third wheel when she's around."
"but she's like a sister."
"that's why i'm not jealous, jay. it hurts that you have a language i'll never be able to speak, that i'm a third wheel."
the man's lips pressed tightly into a straight line. he wasn't displeased with what y.n had said; park took it all into consideration. and he also felt uneasy that he'd made the girl he loves feel unwanted.
"sorry, i didn't even notice." jay placed his hands on her shoulders. "we haven't seen the family in a long time; i switched over, forgetting that you're still not used to us."
then the man pulled y.n to his chest. so warm. he squeezed her body as if he wanted to merge it with his own.
"but everything will change over these two weeks. it seems you and mom have found common ground, and lexi, like dad, also needs time. they'll love you just as i do."
park tilted his head to the side, kissing y.n's neck.
"two months with you have meant more to me than all the time i spent with the wrong ones."
the girl's breath caught. she also hugged jay, and then felt her feet leave the floor.
"what are you doing?" y.n laughed while park, swaying, walked to his room.
"stealing you for a minute."
the door of his room closed behind them, and the world shrank to the moonlight falling on the stone floor. the window was wide open, and coolness drifted from the lake, mixed with the scent of blooming oleanders. y.n didn't have time to look around the room, only the silhouettes of furniture, the high ceiling, the rustle of tulle in the wind. and then jay took her face in his palms. he did it slowly. not like their first time, when desire drowned out everything. now his fingers slid over the girl's cheekbones, his thumbs gently traced under her eyes, as if erasing invisible fatigue. the man looked at y.n in the half-dark, and in his gaze was something new — not just passion, but quiet gratitude. for her being here. for telling him the truth in the corridor. for not locking it inside herself.
"you're very beautiful," he said in a whisper, like a secret.
y.n wanted to answer but didn't have time. his lips covered hers — softly at first, as if tasting. the moon shone into jay's back, and their shadows merged on the wall into one big spot. the man deepened the kiss when she responded — not timidly, but with the same quiet greed with which he pressed her to himself. his hand slid down her back, stopping at her waist, and y.n felt her own fingers weave into his hair of their own accord. jay smelled of wood and expensive cologne, and something else — that very thing of his that made her head spin.
he pulled away for a second, touching his forehead to hers. his breath was ragged.
"you drive me crazy," jay exhaled and kissed her again. deeper, hotter, no longer asking permission. his hands tightened on her waist, and y.n felt her back touch the door because he took a step forward, pressing her to the wood. the corridor was quiet. in the room — only their uneven breathing and the rustle of clothing. jay kissed her as if they wouldn't see each other for an eternity, and y.n lost track of time.
and then someone tried to open the door; fortunately, jay had turned the lock when their lips began touching each other more fiercely. then came a knock on the door.
three short, polite knocks spread through the room, imprinted on y.n's back as a vibration through the door behind her. they both froze at the same time. jay didn't remove his hand from the girl's waist, but his shoulders tensed. y.n opened her eyes, and in the moonlight, she saw how his face changed — from passion to wariness.
"jay?" alexia's voice was muffled by the wood, but recognizable. "are you still awake?"
it took jay a second to level his breathing.
"yeah, lexi. did something happen?"
"no, i just…" a pause. "let's, like old times, watch a movie in the home theater. i brought sweets. you know, the ones we used to love."
jay looked at y.n. in the half-dark, she couldn't read his gaze — an apology? regret? indecision? she softly touched his chest, letting him know everything was fine.
"go," she whispered. "if you want to."
he shook his head, then carefully moved y.n away from the door and opened it just enough for alexia to see his tousled hair and dark eyes.
"sure, lexi. but…" he turned and extended his hand to y.n. she emerged from the shadows, smoothing her dress, and then smiled. "let's take y.n, if you don't mind. i want to show her how we usually have fun."
alexia stood in the corridor with a box of candies in her hands. she wore a long silk robe, her hair loose. she clearly hadn't expected to see her friend with someone; probably still not used to his now constant companion. alexia smiled, as usual, with the sweetest smile.
"of course, y.n should come too. i was just about to suggest it."
she took a step back, letting them pass, and y.n noticed how her gaze slid over jay's kissed lips, over his rumpled shirt. alexia said nothing more. she simply turned and walked forward without looking back.
on the way to the theater, y.n walked silently. she heard jay quietly explaining: "we always did this, it's a tradition. just a movie and candies." she nodded, but inside, everything tightened because alexia wanted to enter his room without knocking, as if jay were hers, and she was allowed to see the man in whatever state she unexpectedly found him. but what was more hurtful was that jay, without even thinking, let her into their evening. he interrupted what could have happened between them so as not to refuse a childhood tradition and watch a movie.
but y.n said nothing. she only held his hand tighter — so he would feel: she was here and wouldn't leave.
"why did alexia arrive before all the other guests?" y.n asked quietly and tiredly, as it was already deep night when they finished watching the movie. they were just heading back to their rooms.
"in childhood, both her parents worked a lot, so mom would take her here for two weeks so lexi wouldn't spend summer holidays at the school boarding house. then her arrival before mom's birthday became a tradition. it would even be kind of strange if she didn't come… everyone would feel uneasy because everyone's used to it."
and y.n once again understood just how dear alexia was to the park family, and that no matter what happened — and nothing exactly happened that the girl could be jealous of jay for — she shouldn't react to it. alexia was like furniture in the house, like the unchanging landscape, like a huge chunk of memories that couldn't be erased. jay was too used to it, so he didn't understand y.n's worries — and therein lay the whole problem.
"shall we continue what we started?" y.n asked, changing the subject. she smirked predatorily and, without waiting for an answer, pulled jay into her room. alexia definitely wouldn't barge in there.
the sun was no longer scorching when guests began gathering in the inner courtyard. the spot was chosen with intelligence — not the grand hall with stucco, but a stone-paved terrace descending to the lake in wide steps. old olive trees cast lacy shadows on the sandy path. the tables weren't set in rows, like at a banquet. instead, several round tables with ivory linen tablecloths, each with low vases of peonies and hydrangeas from the garden. white, soft pink, slightly purple. the tableware — old china with a thin gold rim, crystal that didn't clink but sang when glasses touched. the cutlery wasn't laid by etiquette, but slightly carelessly — as if the hostess wanted everyone to feel not at a reception, but at the home of old friends. at the far end of the terrace, a string quartet played — violins and a cello, softly, almost a whisper. and the guests — about forty or fifty people, no more. women in light summer dresses: silk, chiffon, cotton in the most delicate shades — lavender, powder pink, mint. no sparkling diamonds, only pearls or thin gold. men — in light jackets, without ties, with relaxed shirt collars. everyone spoke quietly, laughed restrainedly. here, one didn't need to shout or prove one's presence — silence and calm were the main signs of status.
several servants in white gloves moved noiselessly among the guests with silver trays, but they were almost invisible. when the sun finally set, garlands lit up — not brightly, but with warm, honey light, and small candles in glass lanterns on each table. the sky above the lake turned dark blue, almost purple, and reflections of lights lit up on the water.
it was at that moment that y.n first saw how jay's world could be beautiful not only because of money, but because of that very «quiet luxury» — when everything is done not to impress, but so that no one notices how much work stands behind it.
alexia approached jay as if from nowhere. her hand reached for the collar of the man's shirt to fix it, and jay stood still, not even surprised. for him, such help was routine; alexia had always watched how he looked, always helped, but y.n saw it as intrusion. she also wanted to fix the man's collar, but simply didn't make it in time. alexia inserted herself into the dialogue easily, without much effort, because attention had already shifted to her as soon as the girl approached. unconsciously, she stood to the right of jay — as she always did. but this time, that was y.n's spot, so y.n had to step aside. now she was detached from park, and so as not to stand behind alexia's back, who, it seemed, hadn't even noticed what had happened, she took another step aside, remaining in the conversation circle with a couple more of jay's friends.
"chongsong, you look tired. is everything okay?" she asked at some point, when only the three of them were left. y.n had truly tried all evening just to enjoy today's celebration. she helped mrs. park with preparations, with cooking, so as not to lose to alexia's dedication, who, like a daughter, was always nearby. but y.n was worn out, she was tired, and therefore began losing this battle. in any case, alexia was «one of their own»; it was much easier for her to win without much effort.
but it was the girlfriend's duty to watch over her boyfriend's condition, wasn't it?
"yes, everything's fine, just…" jay wanted to laugh it off, but y.n was tired of it.
"we couldn't fall asleep yesterday after the movie, so we didn't get enough sleep." the girl forced a smile and tried to emphasize «we» as clearly as possible. alexia faltered, staring at y.n, and then shifted her gaze to jay, who said nothing but rolled his eyes meaningfully, draining the rest of the cold champagne in his glass in one gulp. of course, she understood everything correctly. she had to understand correctly.
but nothing changed after that moment, not after a day, nor even after a week of staying at the chateau. jay seemed unwilling to set clear boundaries. although, what boundaries could be discussed when you've behaved like relatives all your life? and y.n didn't want to look crazy, so she tried not to pay attention to it. but sadness gradually washed over her with renewed force. y.n wanted to distract herself with work but couldn't. the lines simply didn't come together in her head; the sentences didn't reflect what the girl wanted to say. she just couldn't concentrate; all her thoughts returned to jay and alexia and their such strong «friendship». y.n tried to behave like an adult; she was an adult, but something unpleasant sat in her chest and begged to come out.
but, as he had promised, jay wanted to take y.n up in the sky in his small plane, hoping to carry the girl away from bad thoughts. but even at that moment, alexia offered to fly together, and she didn't sound strange; just an offer that no one could refuse. the only protest that came — was y.n's own refusal to fly.
"i'm not flying. you two go together." already on the airstrip, y.n said, standing opposite jay. bewilderment froze on his face, but the girl couldn't help it. she understood that park wanted to spend time alone and would refuse alexia, at which she would take offense, and y.n didn't want to ruin relations with her. hon was too close with jay's parents; if she got upset, they would be displeased with y.n. the girl simply felt it but couldn't back it up with facts.
"this is our date, y.n." the wind ruffled his impeccably styled hair. "lexi didn't know that, so she suggested it. i'll just explain everything, and we'll have a great time."
the man reached for the girl's right hand and squeezed it in his own. he wanted to hold onto y.n, feeling her pulling away. the girl undoubtedly loved jay, but everything was less complicated when she didn't know about the existence of a very close childhood friend who, it felt like, was quietly waiting for her failure. yes, park insisted that the only romance between them had been at fourteen when they learned to kiss on each other, but only jay felt that way. and alexia, what about her? y.n saw by the looks, read by the movements, understood as a girl would — maybe hon wanted to be in y.n's place. this complicated her relationship with jay. y.n simply wanted to love, not fight for first place in jay's heart.
"i…" the girl was in pain, but she looked into park's eyes, waiting for an answer with entreaty. "i'm afraid of heights."
y.n stood on tiptoe and kissed jay on the cheek, quickly and weightlessly.
"sorry i didn't say earlier."
then she freed her hand from the man's grip, turned, and walked back to the house. the wind blew her hair backward, and jay once again saw the girl's back. only this time, he felt a hundred times worse and a thousand miles further from her. park couldn't be a fool who wouldn't have noticed this fear of the girl's. they had gone on the ferris wheel together; the flight to italy had gone perfectly — y.n was absolutely not afraid of heights, and this realization only made it more painful. the girl had her back turned to him again, was leaving again, and this time jay turned as well. he didn't run after her, didn't ask for a second chance. the man walked towards the plane. and y.n heard him doing so, feeling her heart crack and tears welling up in her eyes. this place among mountains, forests, and beautiful gardens was truly something very fairytale-like, but y.n hoped she would never have to describe anything similar in her books. she didn't want to return to this moment, when she — couldn't turn around, and jay… didn't want to.
the girl froze, hearing park's voice. she stopped and finally turned around. he was running to her again, but this time pulled her to him and pressed her face to his chest. she let go of everything that had accumulated in her chest, sobbing so that soon the man's shirt was soaked with tears. jay gently stroked her hair, whispering in her ear:
"i know, sweetheart… yes, i'm sorry. i'm here, forgive me. forgive me for making you feel this way."
y.n pulled away, choking on tears; she tried to explain herself, but her voice sounded so quiet that even the distant singing of birds perched on tree branches around the airstrip could have drowned it out.
"i don't want to limit you, jay…"
"i don't think that." the man took her cheeks in his palms, looking her straight in the eyes with a smile on his face.
"no, wait, let me finish…" y.n tried, feeling tears rolling down to her lips with a salty taste. "alexia is your family, but so much has happened between you that i can't be sure she feels about you the way you feel about her. i can't and don't want to guess, to worry that you'll ultimately choose her. choose now. you can't play with me and then throw me away. if i feel that could happen, i… i'd rather leave."
jay nodded in agreement. his eyes looked at the girl with tenderness; with the same feeling, the man ran his thumb over her cheekbones, wiping away y.n's tears.
"i never just wanted to have fun with you," he began.
which couldn't be said about y.n, but she had quickly forgotten that idea. this true feeling between her and jay had appeared too swiftly. she felt easy and good with park; for him, it was enough that y.n was simply here. it was as if he could reach out a hand in complete darkness, and the girl would take it in hers — she was right here, beside him. that was enough for jay.
the man didn't want to explain himself at length to y.n, because the most important words had just left his lips. sniffling, she looked up at him, still in jay's hands.
"i'll talk to alexia, and for the remaining week, we'll move to another house. just you and me; no one will disturb us."
"i'm catching myself more and more often thinking that i want you to become my family someday."
jay said it carefully, as if afraid to frighten y.n with such serious words, but this was what had long been sitting in his chest and begging to come out. every time he saw the girl leaving the house into the garden in a silk dressing gown, so casually chatting with his mom, he saw their shared future. or when y.n lay on his bed, waiting for jay to change for afternoon tea with the family, talking about how she'd dreamt that a butterfly flew into her room in the morning. all of this warmed the heart of a man who had never felt this way before. jay had never dreamed of spending the rest of his life with someone.
"jay…" it became even more painful because y.n, unknowingly, kept doubting park. she wanted to do everything like an adult: calculatedly, sorting everything out upfront.
"it's okay, you don't have to say anything. i just want you to be at peace."
and, it seemed, between the two of them, only he was the adult.
"i love you." the only thing y.n said, believing that nothing else could be the right answer in such a situation. park's gaze softened.
but jay wrinkled his nose and shook his head no.
"you spent so much time preparing."
"i'll do it again. for you."
jay slid his hand down and took her palm in his. they began walking away from the plane; park only said a quick: "next time," to the co-pilot who had approached, who was supposed to fly with them.
⋆.𐙚 ̊Now playing: Honeybee - Olivia Rodrigo
probably, y.n understood that she wouldn't find a love greater than this one. packing her things to move out of the park family chateau, she neatly tossed everything into a suitcase, leaving it by the door to her room — the servants would collect it. of course, after jay told his parents, the atmosphere had changed. y.n wasn't planning to become their enemy. she didn't want alexia, passing by, to not even look in her direction, but park assured her it was better for y.n's peace of mind. she had endured too long for others to feel good, so jay knew he now had to make her the priority. of course, they weren't saying goodbye; they had already arranged to meet in a couple of days to all go on a yacht trip together. the parents pretended to be understanding; in any case, jay wasn't at an age where they could tell him what to do. y.n came down from the second floor. park was waiting for her in the car; they would go without a driver — so strongly did jay want to stay alone with her.
a dim light spread across the corridor floor, coming from the living room. the girl only turned around, curious who preferred to spend the evening here, catching mr. park with a glass of whiskey. the man sat in an armchair, looking ahead. completely alone.
"goodbye," y.n said, appearing from the darkness of the corridor in the doorway. he raised his gray eyebrows, paying attention to the girl.
"see you later." his voice sounded less cold than at their first meeting. and when y.n was about to leave, smiling at him one last time, the man spoke again:
"don't break my son's heart."
she turned, surprised by mr. park's words.
"no girl could beat lexi, except you. it seems jay is truly in love." he spoke it with pride.
pride in her? in how she had acted? it seemed she had earned the respect of the head of the family.
"i'm glad he finally found someone with character — that's what he was missing: someone truly strong by his side. a successful man must have a reliable support. have a good evening, y.n."
"i love your son sincerely and… thank you." although the girl didn't know exactly what for, it was precisely gratitude that was on the tip of her tongue. "have a good evening, mr. park."
"when it's just the two of us, you can call me dad."
y.n hadn't called anyone that in a long time. a lump formed in her throat, so she simply nodded, trying to smile. the entire remaining way to the luxurious house that jay had rented — with a large green yard, fountains, and peach trees on the grounds — y.n spent in silence. park didn't ask questions; it was already dark and too late for anything serious.
the house jay had rented turned out to be an old villa hidden in an olive grove on a hillside. inside, it smelled of wax and old furniture. y.n didn't remember the road, didn't remember how they passed through the hall and went up to the second floor. she only remembered his hand on her back and the warmth that spread through her body as he led her, whispering something soothing. in the bedroom, it was almost dark, only the light from the full moon streamed through the open french doors leading to the balcony. beyond them — mountains, black against the blue sky, and a silence that seemed to breathe with them.
"i'll show you how much you mean to me," he said quietly, so that those words settled between them like a promise. he scooped her up in his arms, easily, like a feather. y.n wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her face to his cheek. jay stopped by the bed. y.n felt her heart beating somewhere in her throat. his eyes in the half-dark seemed almost black, but something soft and infinitely tender burned in them. his breath was warm, his skin smooth and smelling of the evening freshness. he laid her down on the cool sheets slowly, carefully, as if she were something priceless that could be broken by one careless movement. jay leaned over her, resting on his elbows, and ran his fingers through her hair, tucking a strand away from her face. he looked at her as if he wanted to memorize every feature, every shadow on her skin.
"i never thought i'd meet someone who feels the same way as i do, who understands me so deeply," he whispered, and his voice trembled. "but you're here. you're — here, and that's all i need."
he kissed her on the forehead. lightly, almost weightlessly. then on the tip of her nose. then long and reverently at the corner of her lips, so that y.n's breath caught.
"i know i'm too scared," she breathed out when he pulled away. "but i believe you. i believe, jay."
he smiled, and that smile was brighter than the moon.
"i'm not going anywhere," he answered. "i promise. i'm only yours."
jay's lips found her lips softly, with the same tenderness with which he had carried her into the room. there was no hurry in this kiss. it was like a quiet promise. like the beginning of a story they would write together — slowly, carefully, page by page. y.n ran her hand over his shoulder, touching the fabric of his shirt, and then his skin as he reached for the buttons. she felt his breath on her neck, his fingers sliding along her waist, his whisper, which she caught with her lips. the night enveloped them in warm silk. beyond the open doors, the mountains quietly sighed; somewhere below, the lake splashed, and in the room, there was only him and her. and time, which ceased to exist.
and in the morning, when the sun flooded the room with gold, y.n woke up because she felt his hand on her bare waist and jay's breath at the nape of her neck. she didn't open her eyes; she simply smiled into the pillow, realizing she had finally found a place where she could stay. forever. only him and her.
let me know if you liked it or not in the comment section 💗 sry it took me so long to write it but I hope u appreciate this work
tag list: @d0llddeonu @luvksnn @pix3lkitten @sievenderz @lyyluvss @thewonnie23 @he-even @fatalenha
germansingergirl
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
izzy806
2087
yousharknotpass
